Knights In White Satin
by SineadORebellion
Summary: A/U fic set 8 years after high school.  Newly established Rachel/Quinn in New York with successful careers with some flashbacks now and then to high school.  There are some dark themes but centres around the strength of their friendship to relationship.
1. Chapter 1

**Um...never done this before so not sure what to put. **

**Pairing - Rachel/Quinn**

**Setting - A/U. Set in the future in New York but has flashbacks sometimes to aid the storyline. Something happens to Quinn that change her and Rachel's relationship from enemies to best friends when they are 16. Some dark themes apply so tread lightly and will warn when appropriate. Their relationship does not change from friends to more until the fic recent present.**

**Any comments/ideas would be cool and appreciated. I already have a few chapter's written out but it would be nice to hear any thoughts.**

**A/N - Will start with and contain smut :)**

**GGGGGGGGGGGG**

**Chapter One**

''Oh god I missed you.''

Quinn barely managed the heated whisper through the needy kisses her body taking control as she pushed her girlfriend back until she collided with the wall causing them both to huff but not separate. Their bodies were pushed up against each other and her mouth was currently trying to pour every ounce of sincerity that had been behind her words. She thought it had been tough while they had been apart but now that she had her in her arms again it really registered just how much she had missed her.

''I missed you too.''

The blonde's body set on fire as that oh so talented mouth began to work its way along her neck, kissing, nipping and licking. Before she knew it she had been turned around and now it was her pressed up against the wall. They had been in the same space for maybe 30 seconds and already her mind was fogged up and dizzy from the touches and the kisses. Her smell drove Quinn crazy and the sheer feel of her body against her own took her to heights that no one else previously had.

It had been in college that Quinn really began to accept that she wasn't the girl she had made herself out to be in high school. The secrets that she had been struggling with had overshadowed the feelings that had been directed toward other girls. They had soaked together; combining enough to confuse her to the point that she didn't know which way was up or down. Quinn had been lost and if it hadn't been for the help of her friends and the therapy she had been placed into she would never have made it.

It had been 3 months ago that she had had the mind blowing epiphany that what she felt for her best friend was a lot more than friendly love. It was actual love and it had been the smallest thing that had triggered that realisation.

She had just been sat at home curled up in her favourite armchair holding a glass of wine and watching everyone have a good time at the small party that had been taking place. A regular get together that she and her fellow Glee clubbers had tried their best to uphold for all the 8 years since high school. They all had various jobs in various places but they all tried their best to show up whenever one was going on.

Quinn had been laughing at Mercedes and Kurt who had been bickering like a married couple in the corner when she had heard Rachel laugh over by the opened patio doors that led out onto the terrace. It had been a fine day, warm and light, and the way Rachel's eyes glistened in the sun as she laughed mirthfully at something that Tina had said that obviously amused her. Quinn's breath had been stolen as Rachel had dropped her head slightly, still laughing, and her tongue had rolled across her lips as she had swept a hand through her hair. When she had looked up she had looked straight into her eyes as though she had known she was being watched.

In that very second Quinn had known that Rachel Berry, her one time bitter enemy turned saviour and friend, meant a lot more to her than a mere friend. She and Rachel had buried the hatchet a long time ago before they had even left high school. In her time of need she had chosen Rachel to turn to knowing that she would be strong enough to be honest for her.

''Two weeks is a _long _damn time.''

Rachel panted feeling the same heat as her girlfriend. Every fibre of her being was screaming for Quinn and she felt like she could never get enough of her. It was like the contact they shared could never be enough that they couldn't possibly get any closer.

It was technically her fault that they hadn't seen each other for two weeks. It was her that had been over in Los Angeles to record in the studio for her second album. That meant two weeks away from Quinn who was left in New York to continue filming on her show. If it had been between filming the blonde would have come along but she was the front liner, it's not like she could just take off for two weeks without a really damn good reason and they didn't think 'I miss my girlfriend of 3 months too much' would cut it.

Rachel's hands fumbled with the hem of Quinn's shirt her body literally shaking with the need and excitement that she felt. Trying to calm down a little she stopped trying to rush and just let herself go by instinct. She wrapped her fingers around the shirt and pulled it upward waiting until the last possible minute to detach her mouth from Quinn's. She shifted her weight off of the blonde's body enough to let her move forward so the material would come up and she lifted her hands up to aid in getting rid of her clothes.

It had been an eventful 3 months. From the day of the party things had changed. Quinn wasn't sure if Rachel had felt for her all along or if she had had the same realisation upon the moment that their eyes had locked, but she had definitely been able to see clearly what had been running through her eyes. They hadn't been able to take their eyes off of one another for the rest of the night, and that tension, that chemistry, and been lingering between them building and building until they had been the only people left in Quinn's apartment.

''_Hey.''_

_Quinn turned around her heart beating in her chest harder than it had in her life. She swallowed trying to force the lump that had formed in her throat down, tried to stop her palms from sweating. She tried to keep the nerves and anticipation from her face but she didn't think she was doing a great job of it. The thought made her scoff, what a great actress she was._

''_Hey.''_

_Her voice was as cracked as Rachel's and for a moment neither of them moved. They stood at opposite sides of the kitchen awkwardly. It was a rare day that there was any awkwardness between them, since high school they had spent almost every day together, and if they had had to be apart they would talk on the phone or continually text one another. _

_It seemed so obvious Quinn had talked more to Rachel about everything than any girlfriend she'd ever had. It was a trait that her past lovers had found irritating some had even demanded her to chose between them and her friend. The ratio of who won hands down was 100% in Rachel's favour. Asking someone to stop seeing their best friend was bad enough, but a relationship couldn't be formed on ultimatums either. And in the very least why would she ever chose someone else over the girl that had held her hand as she had walked her into Mr. Shuester's office to tell him what had been happening to her? Rachel had held it even tighter as they had gone to the hospital._

_For one reason or another Quinn had just never realised that her relationships had always ended because she couldn't give anyone the last bit of her heart. Looking at Rachel now across the kitchen she knew it was because she had already given it to her a long time ago._

_The air was heavy and thick, electric even. And it what made Rachel take the first few paces across the kitchen only for Quinn to make up the rest. They stood face to face with an inch or so between them and Quinn could see her own feelings reflected in the dark chocolate of Rachel's eyes. Eyes that had looked at her a thousand different ways but it were only now that she seemed to notice just how deep they were. Deep enough for her to fall into and never get out._

_She swallowed again as her hand shakily lifted to gently stroke some of Rachel's silky brown hair out the way of her face before resting her hand on the side of her face. Her thumb instinctively moved to slide along the bottom lip of the shorter woman as she felt her hand slide onto her hip. Rachel's other hand moved up to tangle in her hair, and feeling her so close broke down whatever it was that gave her pause._

_Rachel moaned into their kiss setting off a domino effect of fire in Quinn's body. Instantly she wanted to explore this new found level with the brunette, she wanted to feel her and taste her. Rachel similarly felt the same way. The ache in her chest and body for Quinn had been making itself known all afternoon. Her eyes had followed the blonde everywhere she want, studied the features on her face, the way she smiled and the way her eyes sparkled. And when those hazel gems looked at her she felt her breath hitch. She felt like Quinn was staring right into her. _

_It was like their mouths were fused together, like they needed the contact more than they needed air itself. It became a whirlwind of hands sweeping along bodies, their feet stumbling them around the kitchen, appliances either being knocked aside or knocked onto the floor completely smashing loudly. Quinn didn't care all she could think about was Rachel. _

''Oh my god Rachel...''

Quinn's lungs practically exploded at the feel of those small but extremely talented hands caressing her body. The brunette eased them along her skin, inching upward until she made contact with her breasts through the material of her bra. The sensations were already driving Quinn nuts and the back of her head banged into the wall as she looked upward panting heavily as her eyes closed. Rachel had barely started touching her and she felt like she was ready to cum on the spot.

Rachel bit down on her girlfriend's neck hard enough to cause a reaction but not quite hard enough to leave a lasting mark as she smirked at the blonde's over stimulated reactions. Just knowing that she could make her feel so strongly so quickly made her head dizzy, it excited her. It was a trip to know the effect she could have on her lover and she loved to see her eyes darken with desire and her body quiver and shake under her control. She may have come off as Little Miss Innocent, but the real Rachel Berry had become very secured in her sexuality over the years. Quinn had too, and they both liked to flex their controlling and dominant sides every now and then. It made the sex between them very interesting that was for sure.

The shorter woman wrapped her hands around Quinn after pulling her forward and away from the wall quickly her fingers nimbly unfastening the catch of the material that separated her and those breasts that she loved so much. Quickly getting rid of the item over her shoulder the brunette didn't waste any time in taking one large mound into her hand as her mouth descended on the other.

There was a loud thud as Quinn hit the wall again groaning loudly as the arousal pulsed through her. Her back arched instinctively hands moving to tangle into Rachel's hair seeking more friction in the contact. The brunette teased her hard nipple with her tongue, sucking or flicking or biting lightly as the other palmed and squeezed her other before she switched sides doing all the same things again. Quinn had been so far gone into oblivion that she didn't even notice all that much as Rachel's mouth ascended up her body again, as those hands began to pay attention to her belt.

Before she even realised what was happening the actress had been unbuckled and her girlfriend pulled her by her jeans the short distance to the nearby bed. The blonde huffed slightly as she was pushed down onto it blindly shifting backward a little as Rachel yanked off her jeans and panties. She had been barefoot so the task was all the easier.

''You're so wet for me baby.''

Rachel's voice was low and husky and her eyes were glued to the apex between Quinn's legs that glistened in welcome. Seeing her sprawled out like this open for her to see, her chest heaving already and all wet and ready to go it made the ache between her legs all the more intense. She smiled almost predatorily as she wrapped her hands around the back of Quinn's bent knees and pulled her forward, then knelt down on the floor. She draped those wonderfully toned legs over her shoulders, and leant in.

''Oh god! Oh fuck...Rachel...''

Quinn swore that she could see fireworks already. Her hand clutched onto the bed sheet beneath her as the other wove into Rachel's hair unable to feel anything but the wild pleasure that her tongue forced through her. God she had had some good sex in her time but this? This with Rachel was so much more. It was mind blowing, earth shattering, soul splittingly fantastic. Phenomenal even fell short of what she thought sex with Rachel was like.

All the years they had spent side by side, all the times that they had stayed up late talking or Quinn had turned to her friend in the dead of night for a little bit of comfort. They would have 'sleepovers', their code really for the times that Quinn either couldn't sleep or had woken up after nightmares. It had always been Rachel that had been able to sooth her back into a steady sleep.

When they had woken up in the morning of that first night draped across one another it hadn't been awkward. It hadn't been stilted or embarrassing or regretful. It had been amazing. It had been soft and gentle and it had fit. It was as though they should have been doing this in the first place. And they had laughed as they rested there comfortably with one another talking and letting their hands feel one another until they had made love again, this time just soft and gentle and sweet.

Three months later and things had only intensified.

Rachel had missed this part of their intimacy. For a newly made couple that were very actively sexual two weeks was a very long time to be separated. She had missed Quinn in a lot of different ways even though they had been apart before when work pulled either one of them someplace else. But this time it had been like torture. They literally hadn't spent a day apart since that night. Rachel had come here to the set hung out in this very trailer while Quinn worked or hung out amongst the set to watch. Quinn similarly had gone to the theatre to be with her.

The brunette had missed the closeness and she had been craving the physical aspect of their relationship. Not just the sex but the contact too. The kisses and the hugs, the way that they would just gravitate toward one another giving each other little touches or holding hands. They were both touchy people, particularly Quinn, and they had always shared a healthy amount of contact but it was different now with this new dynamic.

''Yes...right there...god you feel good.''

Quinn's body writhed under Rachel's talented mouth, was a slave to its talent. Part of her had been surprised that Rachel possessed such power and control with her mouth and her fingers she was imaginative and astute in her sexual prowess, but then again part of her absolutely was not surprised. She had heard Rachel's exes say things about her talents in bed despite knowing that the singer didn't like to brag about it. She wasn't embarrassed; it was just supposed to be private.

''Oh fuck baby...I'm gunna cum...don't stop.''

Quinn felt that all consuming pull in the pit of her stomach that storm that Rachel never failed to elicit. It clouded over the rest of her mind, pushing all thought and sentiment out of her head. Her knuckles went white from gripping so hard onto the sheet the other still tangled in Rachel's hair as her body squirmed and writhed. She didn't even really register the fact that Rachel had to pin her hips down with her hands as she continued to wreak holy bliss with her mouth. Quinn's undoing was the thrusting tongue into her core and her body was plunged over into ultimate ecstasy.

Rachel didn't care that Quinn couldn't remain quiet. It actually thrilled her a little to think that anybody could have been passing by her quite generously spaced trailer and hear the moans and groans that finished with a long drawled out sound that was heaven to her ears. She loved hearing Quinn cry out for her, she was very vocal and Rachel was very glad about that. She enjoyed hearing her pant now as her orgasm obviously swept through her and very much enjoyed lapping up her efforts eager to taste every last part of her lover.

When she was sure that she had thoroughly seen Quinn through her orgasm Rachel placed a kiss on the blonde's sex and stood up feeling a little smug as she looked down on her girlfriend. Quinn was still sprawled out her chest heaving with a flush across her perfect honeycomb skin, eyes still closed and her expression formed in a way that Rachel knew was inspired by pleasure. She smirked crawling over Quinn's body to lean down and coax her into a deep sloppy kiss.

''That was amazing.''

Quinn confessed breathily as Rachel finally let her breathe. Her eyes finally opened and she looked at the brunette affectionately, eyes sparkling. Rachel nodded and smirked.

''Seemed like you missed me a _lot_.''

The smaller woman teased flashing her eyes quickly as Quinn laughed beneath her.

''I did.''

''I missed you too. I very much doubt I can even hold out as long as you just did. And that wasn't very long at all!''

Quinn laughed again; it really was pathetic at how quickly Rachel had managed to make her cum. Usually she could go for quite a while before giving in,but when Rachel set her mind to something she damn well got it done. Plus, there was the fact that they hadn't had sex for two weeks and it had felt like withdrawal.

Still she knew what Rachel was getting at and Quinn decided to give her a little relief and take advantage of her position. She trailed her hand up the singer's leg easily, earning herself a little gasp. Rachel was in a skirt and she was already open to her given that she was straddling her, so it seemed perfect.

Quinn slipped her fingers between Rachel's already soaked panties her eyes watching the brunette closely as she slid the very tips of her fingers into the awaiting wetness of velvety folds. Rachel moaned as she threw back her head the simple touch causing such a slamming effect throughout her. She was so hot and so wet and Quinn could clearly see the need that literally shook Rachel's body.

''Take your shirt off.''

The blonde ordered though not harshly. Rachel complied pulling her t-shirt up over her head and dropping it nearby. Automatically, she reached around and took her bra off probably expecting Quinn's next request. As she dropped that too she was taken by surprise, lurching forward as Quinn pushed two fingers deep inside of her, causing her.

''Oh my fucking god...fuck me.''

Quinn had every intention to do so; smirking as Rachel's jaw dropped and a small frown appeared on her forehead as her head dropped down slightly. Sometimes she would make a similar face while she was singing and now every time that Quinn saw it she got turned on. She began a steady pace thrusting into Rachel groaning lightly at how tight she was. Her thumb moved to circle her clit, getting a dramatic, elongated moan as the brunette rocked her hips against her hand.

Without warning Quinn sat up never missing a stroke but looping her arm around the small of Rachel's back as her mouth went to work on one of her nipples.

''Shit Quinn! Oh yeah...''

With the soundtrack of encouragement Quinn kept thrusting her fingers as deep as she could as her thumb caressed her clit skilfully. Her mouth switched the nipples that she toyed with, randomly licking, sucking and biting them, blowing cool air on the sensitive hard nubs from time to time. And from the gravel in Rachel's voice as she moaned the way she clung to her and moved her body against her, Quinn could tell that she was getting close.

''That's it baby, cum for me.''

As though that was what she was waiting for Rachel fell over the edge and began her release. With an overwhelming force that stole her breath and rendered her silent, Rachel was cumming hard the orgasm ripping through her entire body. If asked right then what her name was there was no way she could answer. Her orgasms with Quinn weren't just that they were phenomenal, a truly cathartic release.

Maybe it had always been coming. With Quinn realising that she was gay in college and herself having being metaphorically smacked in the face with her bisexuality, maybe they were always going to reach this point. Rachel had admittedly been a little confused about all kinds of things in high school. There had been so much going on lest of all the school politics that had initially come between her and Quinn being friends. The fact that they had both set their sights on the same boy hadn't exactly helped, either.

All that had ended however once the real problems had come to light. Quinn had managed to swallow her fear and her pride to trust her enough with the biggest secret she had and Rachel had been devoted to her ever since. The high school shit had ended and the dramatics and insignificant politics had disintegrated and given way to a friendship that was constructed of steal.

However they hadn't seen what they could have been for so long. Rachel had been seduced, by of all people, Brittney in their senior year. She was by no means a virgin by that time, she had slept with Finn, but Brittney had had something quite different and unique to show and offer her. She had never looked back had begun college knowing who she was. Quinn had followed a short time later with her realisation that she was well and truly a lesbian and even going so far as to drag Rachel with her to the LGBT at school. They had attended Julliard together and they had loved every single day of it. It had been a great time for them they had gotten to start new chapters in their lives and really move on from the school.

''You are _very _good at that!''

Rachel whispered breathlessly her eyes yet to open but a satisfied smirk emerging onto her face. Quinn grinned placing soft and delicate kisses along Rachel's chest between the valley of her breasts. In all honesty she would have been quite content to just remain here with Rachel if she could have.

''Well you're not too bad yourself.''

Rachel chuckled lowering her head to initiate a slower languid kiss. Her hands wove themselves into the long blonde hair enjoying the feel of the silky strands. Quinn smelt so good she smelt familiar and soft and spicy all at the same time. The taste of her mouth, the fragrance of her hair, the softness of her skin and the flecks of gold in her eyes they were all things that Rachel thought had become like drugs to her.

Quite simply she couldn't get her fill of Quinn Fabray and she knew that one of these days she would forget herself and show it in public. It wasn't the world that she worried about knowing of their relationship it was the control they would lose over the story if they did it by accident. They had to be logical about their situation. The media was always on them both anyway, they already had a unique story.

Two small town girls once self confessed enemies, both in the same Glee club moving on to Julliard together only to conquer the dreams and aspirations. Rachel Berry had made it all the way to Broadway; she had also recorded a solo album that had sold through the roof. Her face had appeared on guest spots on some TV shows, the occasional cameo in a film and even a couple of music videos. Her career seemed to be alive and breathing and she could hardly believe it sometimes.

Quinn Fabray had landed her ass in one of the hottest roles at the moment. Heading a great cast in a dark and thrilling FBI drama, she was constantly wowing her audience with her performances. She had done guest spots too and Rachel had even asked her to do a couple of songs with her on the albums. They had sung together and Quinn had sung alone at live music nights but had yet to decide if she wanted to take it any further like Rachel and actually make music. The offers were rolling in for TV and film and she too could hardly believe it.

The girls had been happy to collaborate when necessary or requested, they had done skits and interviews together and it was fun for them to work together. Rachel had once organised for Quinn to sing a duet with her on the Broadway stage when her duet partner had fallen ill. The performance had been a sensation and the bosses had convinced her to come on and cover for the duration of the ill star.

So they were definitely already considered an intriguing oddity as well as having very separate and distinct individual success they had combined success too. The good thing was that people were used to seeing them out together and they would hold hands or hug or lean in close together. It was generally accepted for their friendship so it did give them a little freedom to enjoy their relationship outside their apartment walls when they wanted to. A few friends knew as well as some of Quinn's crew on the set given that Rachel was a regular and they had caught them making out in what they thought was a deserted corner. But so far no one had told.

Rachel just knew that once someone got the scent of blood they would follow it right back to the truth and the truth would cause a surge of new interest. Interest that would probably end up digging up the coffins that they had left behind in Lima, some of the most painful memories they had, especially for Quinn.

''I can see you thinking.''

Quinn stated gently staring intently into Rachel's eyes that had deepened with her thoughts. Blinking the smaller woman focused back on the blonde.

''I was thinking about you.''

It was technically true but she didn't want to drag Quinn into a deep and meaningful conversation over making their relationship public and the possibility it would spur someone to drag up her history. Rachel was well aware that Quinn was still at work and she had to go back on set to act her sexy ass off. That kind of conversation needed to be had when she didn't have to do that.

Quinn smiled brightly as Rachel dismounted her and they flopped back onto the bed together face to face tangling their limbs together.

''Is it pathetic that I missed you so much that it felt like I had no oxygen?''

Quinn asked quietly. Rachel narrowed her eyes at her as she shook her head running her hand along her face.

''Not at all. I missed you so much I actually cried.''

She confessed shyly watching as Quinn's eye widened as she lifted her head to prop up on her elbow.

''Did you really?''

''L.A confuses me and I got lost and I couldn't sleep very well by myself so I may have had a teeny, _tiny_ meltdown because you weren't there with me.''

Rachel admitted reluctantly having never intended on telling her girlfriend that lovely and humiliating fact. She felt her cheeks go hot as she blushed. She was Rachel Berry; she was supposed to be able to handle herself. Of course she had had the odd meltdown or two...maybe a lot more, but not over something like this. She had never missed a lover so much so hard in her life it was crazy.

''Oh my god you're blushing! Baby that's the sweetest thing I've ever heard!''

Quinn laughed gleefully earning herself a slap on the arm from a petulant Rachel as she sulked sticking out her bottom lip and trying to hide her face. Those big puppy dog eyes came out and Quinn thought her heart was going to implode in her chest because of it. Rachel had so many sides to her it was amazing.

''No it's not! It was shameful I'm a grown up damnit.''

Quinn only laughed harder actually having to hold her stomach as she rolled onto her back unable to control the rolls of laughter from pouring out. Tears started to ooze out of her eyes and she was shaking she was laughing so hard.

Rachel rolled her eyes but didn't hide the smirk on her face as she watched Quinn laugh; it was actually one of her favourite sounds the blonde's laugh. It always had been. She had learnt pretty quickly that she would do just about anything to hear it.

''I'm sorry...I'm sorry...oh god, sorry. I'm stopping. How did umm...how did the recording go?''

Quinn randomly chuckled as she tried to pull herself together wiping the tears from her eyes as she looked at Rachel again adoringly.

''It went very well, actually. I added a track.''

''Oh yeah?''

''It's a cover...well, my version of a cover. I changed it up a little but essentially it's still a cover. I added it for you.''

Quinn's chuckles stopped as she looked at Rachel seriously caught off guard by the statement. Rachel had put a song on her CD for her? That was...she didn't even know what that way. She didn't even know what to say as her mouth dropped open as her mind raced for words.

''What...what is it?''

''It's a surprise. I hoped that you would let me give you your own private acoustic performance tonight.''

Rachel bit down on her bottom lip watching Quinn's reaction curiously. It wasn't just a song; it was going to be so much more than that. Rachel had always expressed better through music than anything else and given the message she wanted to give Quinn tonight she thought it would be far more powerful delivered in a song. It didn't seem enough to say the words she had said a thousand times as a friend it had to be special and she needed Quinn to really _feel_ her words.

There was no doubt in her mind where things were progressing with them and she knew that Quinn had eclipsed her world. Everything that she had wanted from a partner she was finding in Quinn and they had already bared their souls to one another, it made it perfect. They were starting out with no defence mechanisms, with a refreshing honesty and a deep and long established trust. For those reasons exactly they were binding together more strongly than they had with any lover before.

''I would love that.''

Quinn whispered seeing the depth of thought and feeling in Rachel's eyes again, surprised at the tears that began to form. Quickly she reached out to wipe away the water falling from Rachel's eyes shifting closer to her in effort to offer some comfort.

''Hey, hey...what is it beautiful?''

Rachel shook her head sniffling as she took Quinn's hand in her own.

''Nothing, I just missed you. Can we just lie together until you have to go back on the set?''

''Of course, c'mere.''

They shuffled around until they were the right way on the bed and Quinn laid on her back as Rachel snuggled into her. All they did was breathe just enjoyed being close to one another. It was a comfortable silence without any awkwardness or embarrassment. And they were just like that until Quinn was given her reminder that she was expected to turn up to wardrobe in 10 minutes. They had dressed together brushing out their hair to make it look like they _hadn't _just had a quickie in the trailer, and Rachel happily walked Quinn over to her destination.

After milling around behind the scenes for a while Rachel left a message for the occupied Quinn that she had to go and attend to a few things and she would be back later.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again. Bit of setting the scene of Quinn's present day situation but is a bit of a shorty. Though it was good to see what she's doing and up to at the moment with her job and stuff I guess. **

**Chapter Two**

''And that's a wrap! Wonderful!''

As soon as the director called it there was a round of cheer and applause and Quinn's laugher vibrated across the set immediately. For the second time today she was in utter hysterics to the point that she was actually crying.

The actress was currently standing in the middle of a set that looked like a bomb had hit it; there were pieces of rubble realistically positioned around most of it real rather than fake. Quinn stood stock in the middle clad in her suit that was dirty and ripped patches of fake blood across the front. Her arm was still outstretched and pointing the gun that belonged to her character at the actor on the floor with the dirt smeared across her face, a large fake bruise and the blood dripping down her face from her forehead. If she were to walk out onto the street right now she would be sure to convince someone the injuries were real.

''She hit me! You all saw it!''

The man on the floor declared playfully pointing at the actress which only made her laugh harder. She doubled over as the wind was knocked out of her slightly shaking her head at what had happened. In the course of her character beating the crap out of his Quinn had gotten a little carried away and really had hit him in the head with the butt of her prop gun. She could even see the red mark that had appeared on his forehead.

''All in a day's work Joe, all in a day's work!''

One of the crew laughed helping him onto his feet. He laughed jovially accepting the hug from Quinn. It had happened before and it would happen again Quinn was actually well known for getting so into character that she could end up accidently doing something like she had. There were constant jibes on the set and now commonly when she was interviewed about her 'violent tendencies' at work! But then again her devotion to getting into character is what made her watchable apparently so she stuck with it.

''Hey Quinn, your interviewer is here.''

Quinn turned as Joe walked off to talk to the director wiping her eyes clear as she looked a small redhead. She was one of the assistants on the show and she was always on the ball with everything that was going on.

''Who is it again? I completely forgot I had one.''

''It was supposed to be Katy Han from Variety, however apparently she's ill and they sent one of her staff. He's...unique.''

Quinn lifted a curious eyebrow.

''Unique?''

The assistant shrugged as she handed her a folded piece of paper.

''You'll find out! Plus, Rachel left this for you. If it's about the 'strange noises' coming from your trailer earlier, no one heard it!''

Quinn dropped her jaw as she blushed and huffed at the same time narrowing her eyes in a playful scowl as she snatched the paper and pretended to be mad. It had absolutely no affect on the redhead who just flashed her a shit eating grin.

''I have no idea what you're talking about!''

Quinn huffed starting to walk away as she opened the paper to read Rachel's note which basically told her she had gone and would be back. Turning around the actress kept walking backward as she opened her mouth but the redhead cut her off.

''He's sitting in the office set, and I will try to catch Rachel to warn her you're interviewing. Though it's just meant to be a snapshot interview.''

Quinn pointed at her.

''I love your short ass!''

The girl laughed and Quinn turned around again making her way through the various sets toward one of the ones they used regularly. It was eerily quiet when they weren't using it and as she stepped into the very convincing bullpen office set she spotted a young man sitting at the desk her character used. There was already a trey with drinks on it on the opposite desk and she was thankful to see the coffee label on one of the thermal canisters. Right now she needed the extra kick.

''Hi, I'm Quinn.''

Quinn had never gotten quite used to this aspect of her job. Contrary to speculation it was never with this specific intention that she had gone into acting. The glamour and the glitz came because of the hard work and the long hours and along with high praise came constant criticism. It was a crazy career to have sometimes but she loved it. And to be honest she had always been most comfortable when she was exhausted yet still working with her colleagues at 3am in the morning than getting all gussied up to attend some sparkling event.

Of course she did enjoy that side of it. She liked her life but she did work hard for it. And it still felt weird that interviewers wanted to know about her or she would be invited onto talk shows.

The blonde smiled politely as she offered out her hand for the young man that fumbled onto his feet as he realised that she was approaching him. He was seriously young maybe just having left college. He was wearing a suit but he was cutely scruffy with a crooked tie. It worked for him; he was sweet enough to pull it off.

''Miss. Fabray, hello, it's so night to meet you. I'm Warren Jacobi.''

The kid was obviously nervous and as he stood Quinn realised just how tall he was like Finn was but lankier with a sweet face. He had a disarming nature which made Quinn worry because she was always a sucker for the bumbling interviewer.

''Thank you, and please it's just Quinn. I'm _so _sorry I'm this late, the shoot ran over. Do you want anything? A drink or something because I can get you one?''

Quinn babbled as she fussed around picking up the coffee pot and wiggling it at him questioningly. He nodded unsurely probably too afraid to say no but the blonde just went about pouring out two cups.

''How do you take it, Warren?''

''Oh uh, just cream, thank you.''

The blonde nodded making quick work of finishing off both of their coffees smiling as she handed him his drink and took her seat across the desk that her character usually occupied.

''You really didn't have to make me a drink.''

Quinn flicked a hand.

''Oh, don't worry about it. I'm the drinks bitch around here, the crew like my coffee.''

Warren smiled sheepishly and oddly enough made a scribble down in his notepad that made Quinn quirk an eyebrow but remained silent as she sipped her coffee.

''So where would you like to start?''

She wondered in a gentle prompt gaining a thankful look from the younger man.

''Let's start with your nomination for the Emmy award for best actress. How do you feel about that?''

Quinn widened her eyes as she took in a breath and held it for a moment trying to think how she could verbalise just how she did feel about it. It was a big thing for her she hadn't even expected it but then again she never did. Rachel was the serious award winner, not her. She had collected a SAG award last year and a couple of TV choice awards, but this was her biggest nomination.

''I feel stunned, if I'm honest.''

''Why?''

''Because when I'm here, I'm surrounded by the full team who make this show what it is. All I do is show up and play, but no matter how long my hours are, theirs are at least twice as long. I forget that the people watching can't see them, they see me and the other actors.''

Warren wrote his notes quickly nodding to show that he was listening as he did.

''It feels like a good atmosphere on this set, like everyone gets along.''

''We do, we're like a big family. It's a great place to come to work to everyday; it's a real privilege for me. The effort these guys put in is seriously amazing. I wouldn't be anywhere without those people.''

''That's very humble of you.''

Quinn shook her head lightly.

''No, it's just the truth. It's easy for me to come here and mould into a character when I get such great support. They make me raise my game because I constantly push myself to do right by them.''

Warren gaped at her for a moment before looking down to quickly scribble some more notes. He was trying to keep the fact that he was a major fan out of his face and also that he had just a little crush on his subject but he didn't think he was doing such a great job of it.

''Is it hard playing such a complicated character as Phoebe Walker?''

Again Quinn drew in a breath as she thought about it for a moment. She didn't realise Rachel at the end of the set keeping intentionally out of sight as she leant on one of the prop walls, arms crossed as she listened.

''It's challenging. It's definitely intense, Phoebe is a strong woman and she's in the middle of what's pretty much a mans world. She's a deep character, a very deep character with as many flaws as strengths and qualities. So yeah, it's interesting.''

''How do you feel about the dark themes of the plots that are often involved?''

Rachel sees Quinn hesitate like she almost flinches like she's bracing for something, but he puts his head down again to finish writing something and doesn't take the question any further.

''Difficult. That's a tough challenge for me, we get advised and shown things, it's pretty grim. But it's a dark world out there, bad things happen and they're all stories that need to be told if for nothing else than awareness. These things happen and as a society we can't turn a blind eye to them.''

Warren looked up.

''Is that what drives you to do the charity work you do? You've often been saluted for your work within various abuse campaigns, things dealing with rape and domestic violence.''

''Yes.''

''Is it something you're uncomfortable talking about?''

''I find it hard to talk about getting praised for it when I don't do the work for that reason. If it makes someone become more aware or want to step forward then that's great. Otherwise, I want people to look at the organisations, not me.''

Rachel knew that was true. But she also knew the deeper reasons that drove Quinn and her chariatable ways. They were the same reasons why she hesitated over the previous questions about dark themes because she was always bracing herself for impact. Always suspecting that someone had dug hard enough into who Quinn Fabray really was and was going to confront her with it and shove it in her face.

''I admire that.''

''Thank you.''

''You're also a campaigner for human rights, particularly when it comes to gay rights.''

Quinn smirks and nods her head.

''I know I'm a lesbian but I've checked with my Doctors and I can confirm that I have the same DNA as everyone else and I'm a good American that pays taxes and I'm not infectious or anything, so I'd really like to get married someday to someone I love. If our country tells us it's based on freedom and equality then it should mean it and let me do that, given that I have the thumbs up from medical professionals and all.''

Rachel scoffs a laugh quietly rolling her eyes but in a proud way. She had always loved Quinn's flare for the sarcastic answers when it came to her lesbianism and gay rights support.

''Does that mean there's someone special in your life right now?''

Quinn looks at him with narrowed eyes for a moment her eyes sparkling with mirth as she debates her answer. Lately she had been having to catch herself in front of people that didn't know about her and Rachel and it was so damn tempting to just come right out and say it instead of thinking up some cocky reply that neither confirmed or denied the presence of a significant other.

''Maybe, maybe not.''

That's what she settled with and she smirked knowingly as Warren pulled an interested expression noting down the response quickly. She knew he could tell that there was definitely something behind the answer.

''What do you have to say about the constant rumours about you and Rachel Berry?''

Quinn quirked an eyebrow immediately wondering whether he had just asked that out of the blue whether it was his next question anyway or whether he had put two and two together. He didn't seem like the sneaky type but you had to be careful around these reporter types. They were just doing their job technically but they would say things specifically to provoke a response.

''Rachel and I have loved reading about our affair in the papers, its very compelling. Apparently our first date was a romantic dinner after her show, for which I was front and centre! I think we're moving in together or we have an open relationsip...we're not really sure!''

Rachel had to bite down on her lip to stop from making any kind of noise that would signal her presence. It was funny because Quinn was being her typical self but also because it wasn't actually that far off base. Their first date _had _been after one of her shows that Quinn had been in the front row for but the blonde had cooked for her afterward in her apartment.

There were always a lot of rumours about pretty much everything in their lives; they had heard the ones about them many a time. Probably spurred on because they spent a lot of time together and they weren't shy about being close. Couple that with the fact that one was a lesbian and the other was a bisexual and the gossip never came to an end. But it seemed to go in fits and spurts of how intense it got and usually it died down for a while because nothing significant came out of it other than the fact that they had been friends for so long.

''You're clearly used to them.''

Warren stated in amusement.

''We are.''

''Does it affect your friendship?''

''Not one bit. We grew up together, we've lived together through college, we've worked together…rumours aren't going to break down that solid friendship. Rachel Berry is my heart, she truly is, and we've been through thick and thin together.''

''Is it true that she's being brought in to do some episodes on the show?''

The blonde grinned excitedly.

''Yes! I can definitely confirm _those _rumours. Rachel will be working with us in about 3 weeks and we're all very excited about it.''

''Can you tell me anything about it?''

''Not unless you want me to get fired! But honestly, I couldn't tell you a whole lot anyway. What precious little I do know though, I can say; it will blow your mind. I can't wait for it.''

Quinn really was very excited. Arthur, the creator of her show had approached her quite a while ago with the idea of Rachel playing this particular character. Of course immediately Quinn had been eager to listen to the details he was willing to give and knew that the brunette would be absolutely perfect for the role. It was unlike anything she had played before but that was the whole point. As soon as she had mentioned it to the Broadway star she had been interested. The timing had fit perfectly too. Rachel had just finished with her Broadway show that ended its run right before she had flown to Los Angeles to cut her CD.

Now she had a couple of weeks or so to relax before she started coming in for rehearsals before they started shooting the episodes. It was going to be great and she already got along with everyone here.

''How does it feel to collaborate with your best friend like that?''

''Wonderful. It really does feel wonderful, for us both. I love seeing her work, whether it's on the stage or doing something like this. She makes it a lot of fun, and of course she's wildly talented. So it feels great having someone so close engage in what I love to do. And I guess she feels the same, otherwise we wouldn't have worked together so much.''

Warren smiled happy to be getting such detailed responses. It was a lot easier talking to her than he thought it was going to be, which was definitely a relief to his nerves.

''Do you have any plans to record an album? We all know you're a great singer; the show is often inundated with requests to have you sing for some reason. Is it in your future?''

''I honestly don't know. There are no plans as of yet, but I can't say I never will. I love to sing, I love all kinds of music and I do play a couple of instruments. As of yet though, I've just enjoyed either doing it on my own time, or again working on something with Rachel when she's asked. My very brief time on the stage was amazing, but right now my creative efforts are definitely centred around the show and one or two other projects.''

''What's your favourite song?''

Quinn dropped her jaw groaning as she cringed and laughed at the same time.

''That is _such _a difficult question! I honestly don't think it's possible to pick just one that's superior to everything else.''

''Okay, then how about just a song you really enjoy?''

Quinn thought for a second, all the songs she loved playing through her head.

''Knights In White Satin, that's a song that I've always loved. There are many, many more, but given that I'm being made to pick one, that just popped into my head.''

Warren arched a surprised eyebrow as she jotted it down in his notebook.

''What's your favourite book?''

''Again with the impossible question! Oh my god! The Bell Jar, I think…maybe…or maybe not…it's one of them. I like to read so I have a few of those too!''

Warren laughed almost evilly seemingly enjoying her exasperation.

''How do you like living and working in New York?''

''I _love _it here. I honestly do. New York has become my home in every way and I feel so lucky to work here. I love doing all of the on location stuff and getting out there and meeting people. We don't do a _lot _of studio time which is cool. My family is here, I have a lot of friends here, I get to be near Rachel...so it's like my entire life just fits inside New York. It couldn't be better.''

The blonde enthused happily. Ohio was like distant past to her now. It had never felt like home to her but being here did and she was thankful that she got to do everything here. Quinn felt comfortable with the city and the differences it had to their small town home. The only reason she ever had to engage with Lima was if she went to see a friend that had remained there. If it weren't for them she would have cut ties completely.

''That was my last question, I think you'll be happy to know!''

Quinn laughed as he finished writing in his book before he closed it and looked at her again.

''I had a good time talking with you Warren, you should step in for Katy more often.''

Warren blushed at the compliment and cleared his throat.

''Uh, thanks, I had a good time too. I'm just glad I got through it without embarrassing myself too much, I'm a _huge _fan.''

''Of the show?''

''And of yours. I'm rooting for you for the Emmy, I really am.''

It was Quinn's turn to blush lightly but she smiled a genuine thank you.

''I really appreciate that, thank you. Do you happen to be a fan of Rachel's?''

He looked at her oddly but nodded his head, standing up as she began to rise out of her seat. She was looking behind him as she gestured in that direction.

''Good, because she's right behind you.''

Warren turned around so fast he nearly fell over. Quinn lifted her hand to her mouth to stop herself from outright laughing seeing the grin that Rachel offered the shocked young man and the amusement in her eyes. She held out a hand to shake and he did so just as nervously as he had with Quinn.

''Rach this is Warren Jacobi, and if he ever interviews you watch out for this boyish charm thing he has going on. _Very _disarming!''

Quinn introduced him teasingly getting a laugh from Rachel as she nodded.

''I will. It's nice to meet you Warren.''

''It's so good to meet you too, I love your work.''

''Thank you. I hope Quinn's been a good subject for you, she can be a pain in the ass if she doesn't like the interviewer.''

Warren shook his head quickly.

''No, no not at all she's been awesome. She had many nice things to say about you.''

Rachel smirked.

''Well I bribe her with chocolate, don't tell anyone!''

''Big chocolate fiend?''

''_Huge_.''

''Hey! Please don't give away all my secrets, I have to have _some _air of mystery.''

The blonde protested in mock grumpiness. Rachel just gave Warren a wink and let him step by her. He stalled though glancing over them both as she smirked knowingly.

''Speaking of secrets, I promise I won't confirm those _certain rumours_ in my article.''

Warren winked to signal his knowledge and Quinn pointed at him immediately as she looked at Rachel knowing exactly what he meant. She _knew _he hadn't asked that question about her and Rachel for no reason.

''Boyish charm!''


	3. Chapter 3

**I got bored because my girlfriend is working and I've been reading so much my eyes hurt so I thought I would take a break to post another chapter before going back to reading again. Heh...so there is a song in this and its called Knights In White Satin by The Moody Blues and I really love it and thought it would be a different choice of song to have them share.**

**Chapter Three**

''So when do I get to hear this mysterious song you were talking about?''

Quinn wondered playfully as she pushed into Rachel as the brunette tried to negotiate the keys that she had managed to snatch away from the blonde as the taller woman had been messing around in the hallway. Rachel had her own keys to Quinn's apartment they were in her pocket with her own but she had wanted to make a point by refusing to play the blonde's game to trade kisses for entrance inside.

Only now Quinn was pressing against her back and was smugly leaning her face in close her hands brushing her hair out of the way to expose her neck which she promptly began kissing. The contact made Rachel's eyes flutter closed as she let out a soft sigh. Quinn's other hand slipped around to her front sprawling out across her stomach as she pulled her back.

''Behave.''

Rachel tried to order but it came out as more of a breathless sigh. Quinn smiled against her skin before pressing her teeth into it lightly.

''Maybe I can't. Maybe you turn me on so much I lose my mind.''

Rachel's hands stilled in her efforts to try and fit the key into the lock and slowly turned around to lean her back up against the door. Quinn looked at her oddly with confusion and a little concern written across her face. Rachel didn't say a word for a second but her hand lifted up to cup the side of the actresses face.

Things had changed so drastically in the last 3 months. They had shifted into a high gear of the likes that neither of them had experienced before. As close as they were as best friends as much as they had started with trust and knowledge and an air of openness this was still new. It wasn't awkward but it was unprecedented. They had told one another everything over the years but there had only been superficial conversations of exactly what they were doing.

It was fine Rachel hadn't expected the deep and meaningful ones so soon not even when they were used to having them. But after 3 months of spending pretty much every day with Quinn after constantly waking up wrapped up together and falling asleep holding one another, exploring skin and passion...it was time. She had decided it was time because she had always been the decisive one in any relationship. Quinn would open up but you had to know how to get her to. The blonde would come straight to her best friend when issues arose with her girlfriends but Rachel was now one in the same so maybe it had thrown the taller woman a little.

''Do you really feel like that? About me?''

Quinn frowned slowly reaching up to let her fingers trace Rachel's beautiful face. Her hazel eyes studied every feature burning into her memory and for a moment she lost herself. She had looked at Rachel a million times before but it was different now. She always felt like she was looking for the first time noticing different things.

''Of course I do.''

She whispered earnestly as her eyes went back to the smaller woman's.

''When did it change between us, Quinn?''

The singer asked not being able to properly pinpoint the answer herself. Before that afternoon at that party Quinn was her best friend. Rachel knew she was beautiful and talented she knew she was kind and intelligent and sensitive. She knew that part of her was broken inside but the rest of her remained intact and strong and caring. Quinn had had so many reasons to crumble but she had stood strong and Rachel had always admired that.

She had watched her with various women from college until her last relationship but she couldn't remember feeling jealousy. Or maybe she had but she hadn't really known what it was. She had liked some of Quinn's girlfriends she really had and she had even advised a couple of them on what Quinn's moods meant. They had quickly worked out that Rachel Berry was like a walking talking encyclopaedia on Quinn Fabray and while some of them had gladly accepted that under the heading of friendship most had been perturbed and used it against the blonde.

Rachel had never understood why they had perceived her as a threat. Now? Now maybe they had seen something all along that they apparently hadn't been able to.

''I don't know, Rachel. I just know that it happened, and I wouldn't change it for the world. When I'm with you, I just feel...''

Quinn searched for a word that could capture everything inside of it her mouth ajar a little as she shrugged lightly.

''What?''

''Home. I feel home.''

Rachel felt her heart leap into her throat as tears began to sting the backs of her eyes. She leant up and drew Quinn into a connective deep kiss and poured in all her feelings for Quinn that had slammed into her in the past months. The blonde was taken off guard but kissed her back just as strongly and Rachel could feel the truth in the words Quinn had just spoken.

And just as quickly as Rachel had initiated it she stopped it making Quinn almost lose her balance as she blinked when Rachel spun back around and shoved the key into the lock opening the door so they practically fell through it.

As Quinn turned Rachel around by the hips leaning in for another kiss Rachel stopped her actions. Quinn found herself with a finger pressed up against her mouth as Rachel stood in front of her with a determined look on her face. Actually it kind of reminded Quinn of retro-Rachel when she had one of her schemes in her head in high school.

She frowned and narrowed her eyes in question.

''Sit down.''

Quinn nodded slipping out of her jacket as she walked across the distance of her apartment. She decided to sit in her favoured armchair the very one she had been sat in when she realised that she was in love with Rachel. She didn't turn any lights on; the early evening light was enough to shade the apartment well enough for them to see. Keeping it darkened seemed to be the best thing to keep the mood how it was. Even as the rain that had just started began to make patterns that the glass of her windows.

Quinn's apartment was a pretty cool set up. When you entered through the door the kitchen was to the right; it was open and quite spacious for a New York loft. To the left there was a large space where a big dining table sat along with Quinn's personal affects pictures on the wall and ornaments in the middle of the table. Back to the right, just down from the end of the kitchen, there were stairs that lead up to a second level. It was where Quinn had her entertainment system with a two seat couch with a coffee table. There were a couple of DVD and CD shelves against the wall and in front of them sat a baby piano and three differently styled guitars one of which was electric.

The master bedroom guest bedroom and bathroom were all down along the hallway at the back of the 'second lounge' as Rachel called the upper level. Back down in the living room area that Quinn sat in it was a sprawling space colourful and classic all at the same time. There was a fireplace with an armchair at either side of it one of which was her favourite place to sit and read in. There was a long couch with a coffee table on a huge rug a couple of plants and a stereo too. Outside on the terrace there was outdoor furniture besides her beloved armchair one of her favourite places to sit was outside.

Rachel was pretty sure that the large terrace feature was the thing that sold Quinn on the apartment. The place could have been a fall down wreck for all she would have noticed because all she had seen was that terrace. In college they had rented this crappy but wonderful studio together it was very 'struggling artist' themed and they had loved it. Rachel had secretly bypassed the alarm on the door to the roof no one else lived on the floor and no one not even the super had gone up there.

She had done it because when Quinn was struggling when she had bad dreams and woke in the middle of the night she could go and watch the night safely. That was one of her favourite things to do when she couldn't sleep just watch the world go by as she smelt the night air. Sometimes they would just sleep up there in the summer or star gaze for hours. They were some of Rachel's fondest memories.

Carrying the guitar down the stairs Rachel managed a nervous and even shy smile as she pulled a big footstool nearer Quinn's chair as the blonde brought her knees up to her chest. She watched curiously as Rachel sat down and pulled the strap of the guitar over it it made Quinn smile lightly because Rachel was so little it was just the easiest way for her to keep her grip on guitars.

Flipping her long hair back a little with a flick of her head Rachel looked down as she began to strum. She was nervous because despite the fact that everything had changed between them already it was _definitely _about to be voiced and labelled and made very very real. It wasn't Quinn that particularly scared her it was the simple terror that all of this wasn't ever going to be real. If it turned out not to be Rachel honestly thought it would break her heart to the point of death.

She pushed that out of her mind though and let her feelings take over let the emotion she felt take over the song looking up to see that Quinn had sat forward as she heard the tune that began to emerge from the guitar and starting the process of realisation.

''Nights in white satin, never reaching the end,

Letters I've written, never meaning to send.

Beauty I'd always missed, with these eyes before.

Just what the truth is, I can't say anymore.

'Cos I love you, yes I love you, _oh _how I love you.

Gazing at people, some hand in hand,

Just what I'm going through they can't understand.

Some try to tell me, thoughts they cannot defend,

Just what you want to be, you will be in the end.

And I love you, yes I love you,

_Oh how I love you, oh how I love you_.''

Rachel sung out the words with all of her heart periodically closing her eyes as she hit the more intense notes as she tended to do. As she strummed the mid instrumental though she looked straight at Quinn not breaking away as she saw the tears running along Quinn's face an overwhelmed but happy and touched look written across her beautiful face and rooted deep in her eyes.

Rachel smiled lovingly as she played happy that Quinn understood what she was telling her.

''Nights in white satin, never reaching the end,

Letters I've written, never meaning to send.

Beauty I've always missed, with these eyes before,

Just what the truth is, I can't say anymore.

'Cos I love you, yes I love you,

_Oh _how I love you, oh how I love you.

'Cos I love you, yes I love you,

_Oh how I love you, oh how I love you_.''

Rachel watched Quinn as her voice dropped to a more musical talk given that the next part was more of a poem than anything else. She also knew that Quinn loved it.

''Breathe deep, the gathering gloom,

Watch lights fade, from every room.

Bedsitter people, look back and lament,

Another day's useless, energy spent.

Impassioned lovers, wrestle as one,

Lonely _girl_ cries for love, and has none.

New Mother picks up, and suckles her son.

Senior citizens, wish they were young.''

Quinn laughed gently at Rachel having swapped boy for girl in the lyrics sniffling lightly as she thumbed away the damp on her cheeks.

''Cold hearted orb, that rules the night,

Removes the colours, from our sight.

Red is gray and, yellow is white.

But we decide, which is right.

And which is an illusion.''

She sped up her guitar once more going for the end that she had added on.

'''Cos I love you, yes I love you,

_Oh _how I love you, oh how I love you.

'Cos I love you, yes I love you,

_Oh how I love you, oh how I love you_.''

Rachel panted lightly as she finished her hand halting on the strings of the guitar and the silence was almost deafening after the melody of the instrument. The rain fell outside bouncing off of the windows as a roll of distant thunder echoed loudly across the night air followed by a quick flash of lightening. The calmness in the room seemed to contrast the storm outside but what was happening in this calmness was a much fiercer storm in itself.

''I love you.''

Rachel was still a little out of breath due to the sheer emotion that she had poured into the song but also her voice succumbed to the truth of the statement. She had said those words a thousand times but never like this. It had never meant that she had been _in _love with Quinn before. It had never meant that she suddenly felt whole that the missing jigsaw puzzle piece of her life had been found and fit into place.

Sometimes she found herself waking in the middle of the night and just lying there and watching the blonde sleep. It honestly wasn't creepy or stalker like it was sweet and romantic. She got so enthralled by the way Quinn breathed the way her face would twitch sweetly or she would mumble something in her sleep. One night she had been talking about gold stars frogs and slapping Santana, which Rachel had found hilarious.

She liked how if she stroked Quinn's back when she was muttering in a way that Rachel knew meant she was having a bad dream or a nightmare it would settle her down again and she would become peaceful once again. It made her heart swell knowing that her simple touch could soothe the other woman even in sleep. It was like Quinn knew she was there watching over her.

And that's one of the many reasons why she thought that this could easily be the most wonderful thing in the entire world. It's why she could see a future stretched out before them in front of her eyes.

Quinn put her feet on the floor and stood up fluently and Rachel sat up straight and smiled as she thought the blonde was coming to her. She didn't. Instead Quinn veered off and Rachel opened her mouth to say something but found herself at a loss for words. With a held breath and a lot of apprehension she watched as the taller woman opened a small draw at her antic wooden table and pulled out a box. Then, after closing the draw she made her way to Rachel again and knelt in front of her.

Delicately she leant up to take hold of the guitar and eased it up over the brunette before placing it gently on the ground. She knelt between the singers legs sniffling again lightly as another crack of thunder sounded a little closer this time and another bright flash of lighting lit up the apartment for a moment.

Quinn lifted up the box and opened it toward Rachel. The brunette looked at her hesitatively for a second but with a nod of permission she cleared her throat and looked back at the box as her fingers sheepishly pulled out what was inside.

It was a bracelet. It was silver or maybe white gold, and it was quite simple in nature which made it breathtakingly elegant. It truly was beautiful and again Rachel looked at Quinn questioningly. The blonde discarded the box and took hold of the piece of jewellery turning it so that Rachel could see that there was an inscription on the underside.

''Rachel, I love you with all my heart, Quinn.''

Rachel laughed gently as she read out the words and her own tears fell out of her eyes. It seemed that she hadn't been the only one with the idea of a romantic gesture to get the sentiment across. She leant her head forward to rest against Quinn's as the actress's hands cupped her face thumbs wiping away her tears.

''I love you, Rachel. I'm hopelessly head over heels in love with you.''

Quinn spoke for the first time since they had entered the apartment her voice hushed and cracked with emotion. She laughed a little too feeling the grin coming from Rachel even though more tears fell at the same time.

''I love you too Quinn.''

The brunette felt that last click that last piece truly fitting in. She felt a little dizzy because it was like she was able to breathe properly for the first time. If she thought she had been in love before and she really had then this was one of those movie moments when you realised that there were types of love that just overshadowed everything else. Maybe it was because Quinn was her best friend too she wasn't sure but it felt damn good. It felt right and she felt unstoppable and strong because of it.

Quinn was having very much the same thoughts running through her head. She had been holding onto that bracelet for a month a fact that Rachel would probably find out eventually. Right now it didn't need to be said because it no longer mattered why she hadn't been able to give it to her until now. The most important thing was that this had happened they had cemented what they had and they were stepping into a new world hand in hand. They knew one another inside out but it was time to learn each other on a whole new level. It was time to find out how they worked together and how new dynamics affected them and changed them.

Like just now. Rachel had never ever been the first one to say those three little words to any lover. Quinn knew that for a fact. Rachel liked the big dramatic gestures she liked the attention of them and knowing that she was special enough for someone to do that for. It seemed shallow but it wasn't. It was her way of being known and overcoming her insecurities that few people knew that she actually had. Quinn was ready to make her feel as special as she could but she also took heart in the fact that it had been Rachel to pull out her stops to show her she was special too and first. Rachel Berry was many things but she had never been selfish.

''Quinn?''

''Yeah?''

''Take me to bed.''

GGG GGG GGG

''Do you think we should start telling people?''

Rachel asked lightly as she trailed her fingertips in absent patterns along Quinn's back lightly just savouring the feel of her skin as the blonde draped across her. It was late...or early depending on how you wanted to look at it. Both had lost count just how many times they had made love tonight but it didn't really matter all that much.

The bedroom was quiet with only the thin sound of light rain pattering down against the windows. The storm had passed outside and now the night was just left with a soft wind and gentle raindrops. They were cleansing the streets, starting afresh for a brand new day. They had barely noticed the storm though, too entangled with one another. The room had been full of sound as passion took over and full of silences in restful moments like this. It felt like a never ending night and it was perfection.

''I guess, I mean, do _you _think we should start telling people?''

Quinn put the question back to her lover as she rolled off of Rachel and onto her side to face her instead. The question had been lingering for a while and though a handful of people knew the people in their lives at large still did not.

''Well, I have to admit that I have enjoyed a certain amount of privacy these last couple of months. We have prying eyes all around us every day, it just felt good to enjoy getting to know this aspect between us without being _watched_, you know?''

Rachel admitted as her hand found its way to Quinn's hair. She really couldn't bear not touching her in some way right now.

''Yeah I know what you mean. I love our friends and all, but it's been nice to discover this by ourselves first without them interfering or asking questions all the time.''

She really did love their friends but she also knew them. Not out of spite or anything remotely bad they would just ask question after question that maybe they weren't ready to answer for themselves yet or had only just begun to answer. It took time to build a foundation sometimes or to simply enjoy it. She was sure they would be happy for them and excited for them and Quinn had a sneaking feeling that Santana had been waiting for something to happen between them because when it came to attraction she was practically clairvoyant. Their other friends around New York and in the business they would probably feel the same and just generally be happy if they were happy enough.

Over the years Quinn had gotten to know Rachel's Dad's very well. They had become like her family too, but yet now she found herself nervous as to their reaction. Just because they had accepted her as their daughter's best friend it did not mean that they would think she was good enough to be her girlfriend. In fact there were many reasons for them not to think that.

''However, the idea of telling everyone that we're in love, being able to kiss you and hold your hand in public? It makes me giddy. I know that we're photographed all the time together doing much of that, but it does excite me thinking that everyone would look at you and know you're mine and I'm yours.''

That was a very big appeal too to not have to hide the extra attraction behind their already touchy feely behaviour. They both just wanted to live as normally as possible in the lives they had which usually turned out to be not overly normal most of the time.

''I like that thought too.''

Quinn agreed quietly as she stared across at her girlfriend. Rachel bit down on her bottom lip for a moment debating with herself whether to say what was on her mind now. Eventually given her honest nature she took in a breath and narrowed her eyes softly.

''There may be some negative consequences too, Quinn.''

Quinn nodded as she swallowed the lump in her throat briefly looking across the room to the rain running down the windows. She had thought about those consequences a lot these last couple of months. And in truth she had thought a lot about how eventually one day her secrets would be revealed. It was simply a matter of time given the nature of doing what she did. Being in the public eye especially as your career grew and grew meant that people were interested. Interested enough for reporters to dig things up and boy did she have a lot of skeletons in her closet.

''I'm prepared for that.''

''Are you?''

Quinn looked back at Rachel again.

''With you right by my side, I'd be prepared for anything. It's bound to come out at some point Rachel, and if I can control the tiniest bit of how it does, it would make it so much easier to deal with. I don't want to hide. So maybe things should come out.''

Rachel studied Quinn's eyes and face picking up on the air of confidence but also picking up on the air of vulnerability. If it was up to her no one would find out anything unless it was 100% Quinn's choice to divulge it but that was definitely not the business that they worked in. She was right it would surface eventually.

''Still, it would be a lot sooner rather than later when they find out about us. I don't know how we've managed to get this far without too many problems but that won't be the case if they find out we're together.''

Quinn nodded fixing the worried brunette with a steely look.

''Well I'm not prepared to hide us so let them do what they will. I'm ready for them.''

''I'll be there for you.''

''I know you will.''

The blonde lurched forward and took Rachel's mouth with the slowest sweetest kiss that conveyed both her love and her thanks. Rachel had always been there for her she had never felt truly alone because of her.

''Who knows already?''

The taller woman asked as she licked her lips and pulled back again. Rachel sighed as she thought.

''A couple of the guys from the show, I couldn't keep it in and doing one to two shows a day with them every day made it far too tempting. That and the fact you constantly had flowers sent to my dressing room with signed cards. Which was very sweet and romantic, by the way.''

Rachel leaned across to place a kiss on Quinn's nose still very thankful for all the flowers and little gifts that Quinn had sent to show her support and show her that she was thinking of her.

''Well I have a drama obsessed star on my hands, I can't have you going without your Tinkerbelle applause, can I?''

Rachel laughed at the charmingly cocky answer the blonde's playful grin making her roll her eyes. Quinn had always teased her about that analogy; she had never let it go. They were both highly aware that Rachel could get carried away with being the little diva that she could be but it wasn't half as bad as it had been in high school before they had made friends.

Rachel still had her moments and she did expect a certain amount of attention and lavish gestures. She still made her feelings very well known and she was still painfully honest. However now she had learnt how to deal with those things a little bit more delicately and she had learnt that the world wasn't as simple or as theatrical as she had once thought it was.

''Most certainly not! I'm high maintenance all the way baby, get used to it. Who have you told?''

The singer teased before bringing the conversation back on topic again. Quinn made a thoughtful noise.

''It's not so much who I've _told _than who have either seen or heard us at work. So pretty much the crew and cast!''

''Quinn!''

Rachel slapped her girlfriend on the arm causing her to drop her jaw.

''Ow! What? It's not my fault; they have eyes and ears you know. It's not like we're discrete around them is it?''

She defended herself as she rubbed her arm although she was unable to get made at Rachel for smacking her.

''I suppose not. How do that many people know and it hasn't been leaked yet?''

Quinn shrugged.

''They rock. Do you think that reporter boy will squeal?''

''No, I think he has too much of a crush on you to break his promise.''

Quinn snickered and rolled her eyes a little. Why guys continually got crushes on her she couldn't work out in the first place but why they did knowing that she was gay that _really _confused her! She supposed it wasn't exactly within their control; she had a couple of crushes on straight women from time to time after all. But still it was weird because it was her.

''Then I guess we can start telling people when we feel it's the right time. We don't have to rush anything, we can still enjoy the peace that comes with limited knowledge, but know if we feel we've hit a good moment that we're free to say.''

The blonde summed up liking the thought of weaving between the state they were in now and telling some of their nearest and dearest when opportunity knocked. She wasn't about to run off and create a phone tree over it, that wasn't either of their styles. It had to be a comfort thing.

Quinn lifted her head to look over Rachel's shoulder and grunted.

''I have to get up in 3 hours. I have an early shoot.''

Her hand found its way to Rachel's side and began to stroke patterns along her skin her eyes watching the effects the touch caused.

''You're going to be exhausted baby.''

Quinn shrugged.

''Nah, I'll be fine. Besides, staying up all night with you is always worth it.''

Rachel lifted an eyebrow suspiciously.

''Because of the sex or the conversation?''

Quinn gave her a charming grin.

''Both, of course!''

They both laughed gently and Rachel lurched forward to push Quinn onto her back as her mouth drew hers into a deep and hungry kiss. It didn't seem to matter how many times they kissed or touched or fucked it never seemed to be enough and it always felt like the first time.

In the end Quinn got a 2 hour power nap having sacrificed the other hour to give Rachel's body the attention it deserved. If she was tired because of it then so be it she would rather have the memories of the first night she and Rachel confessed their love be how it had ended up over just going to bed and sleeping. She was used to a lack of sleep given the work she was in so she could handle it.

Quinn had been quiet as she had crept about getting ready jumping in the shower to help wake herself up before getting dressed and writing Rachel a quick note. She had decided to let her sleep instead of waking her. The brunette had been sprawled across the bed and she had looked so peaceful that Quinn just hadn't had the heart. She knew that Rachel would be tired from the jet lag, which she never dealt with well and then with the late night she kind of deserved a sleep in. Normally the brunette would be up and busying around and doing her morning routines and workout but sometimes those did falter to how tired she was.

The blonde knew that Rachel had an afternoon interview and she also had a meeting with her agent afterward so sleeping in would help her to be refresh and awake for those. So with a kiss to the back of the head Quinn had left her lover asleep in her bed and moved through her apartment before locking up and leaving to go to work.


	4. Chapter 4

**Just a short and quick one this time but more to come very quickly.**

**Chapter Four**

''Miss. Berry, hi, I'm Jose Delano.''

Rachel smiled as she was approached by a middle aged well groomed and seemingly pleasant man. She took his outstretched hand when he was close enough to shake it; her eyes briefly scanning across the set for the photo shoot that was going along with her interview.

It had been an easy morning for her which was something of a novel experience. Working on Broadway was everything she had ever wanted and she loved it. She loved being on stage she loved getting to go to work and sing and dance and act. She loved the crowds the applause the fans waiting around outside. But she loved the little things too maybe even more. She loved the way that the stage smelt the narrow corridors that dancers and actors and crew scurried through during intermission or throughout the show as they got ready.

Rachel liked the way that it sounded when no one was there when she would stand on stage all by herself and no one was around. It made her feel so insignificant thinking about the ghosts that the stage held and thinking about just how many people had come and gone throughout the years. She liked to think about how many songs had been sung how many lines had been spoken. It made her feel part of something but it also made her feeling like she was part of something that she needed to respect and uphold. It grounded her in a way.

The brunette worked hard for her dream she committed herself to making it happen. She trained she rehearsed she put in the time she had to get her part down flawlessly. That work ethic made her a very busy woman and when the shows were running it was a very hectic lifestyle that she adopted. However when the shows finished their run she had time to relax a little.

It gave her a little freedom to step back and look over her life the people and the things in it. They became her reflective periods where she thought about what she would like to do next.

Her relationship with Quinn seemed to have timed itself well. It had been her last couple of months working _Funny Girl_ which had been an ambition in itself for her to do. It had ended on a wonderful high and she had been thrilled to have taken part in it and had a lot of fun. Quinn and she had fit around both of their schedules which some days had downright sucked but now that the show had finished they were going to get a lot more time together. Especially given that they were going to be working together soon.

''Please, it's just Rachel. I'm pretty sure that Miss. Berry is one of my Dad's!''

The brunette quipped lightly as she released Jose's hand after shaking it. She knew that he had a good reputation as a photographer; he ran clean sets and refused to do anything other. Considering that she was going to be interviewing for a teen magazine and having her picture taken with a couple of contest winners she thought that was a good thing.

''Fair enough! So, the girls are here already. Their names are Hannah Silverman and Karan Heck. I thought we could get you guys settled and I'll take some candid's as you talk then get some specific shots for the cover.''

Rachel nodded in agreement her eyes flicking over to the corner where 2 girls were being occupied by who she thought would be a representative from the magazine. As far as she knew they had been running a competition for about a month for kids to meet her and get to interview her. They needed to pull together what they thought would be a good concept for an interview. She was interested what these girls would be asking given that she didn't know yet. The magazine wanted it to be more of a surprise. Surprise was just fine with her.

''Sounds great! Do I need to change or anything?''

She watched as Jose thought for a second before shaking his head.

''You look great as you are; I don't think they'd be able to do much more. As long as you're comfortable then we're good to go.''

He smiled warmly and gestured for her to proceed onward down the studio to meet her interviewers. Smiling graciously Rachel walked forward acknowledging and smiling at the people lingering around that she thought must have worked for Jose. As she began to approach the girls the lady that they were speaking to pointed behind them and they quickly turned around. Rachel was pretty sure that she heard a couple of 'oh my god's' from the kids.

''Hey girls, I'm Rachel.''

''Oh we know...we love you.''

Rachel laughed lightly as she offered them her hand. She would greet any other interview in such a manner so she wasn't going to make an exception because they were kids. They had paid their dues by getting through the competition so she was going to consider them interviewers.

''Well thank you! So whose Hannah and whose Karan?''

There was a dark haired girl and a red haired girl; both had pretty little faces and big eyes. In all honesty Rachel had always loved meeting the kids that seemed to like her so much. They were so sweet and they hadn't let the world crack their enthusiasm yet. They tended to remind herself of her at similar ages.

''I'm Hannah.''

The dark haired girl gushed shaking her hand with a big grin on her face. Rachel grinned and looked at the other slightly smaller girl with red hair and the cutest little freckles who jiggled on the spot as they shook hands.

''I'm Karan.''

''Well I'm very excited to meet you. Do you guys know each other?''

They nodded their heads quickly.

''We entered the competition together. We're from Chicago.''

''Yeah and we got to see one of your shows before it finished and we had so much fun!''

Rachel laughed at the speed the girls were talking as they nodded at each other and grinned up at her. The singer wondered if they were hopped up on sugar or if they were just that excited.

''I'm so glad you had fun. So do you want to sit down and talk about how you won the competition?''

They nodded eagerly but Karan stood fast as Rachel and Hannah turned. Noticing Rachel turned back to look at her.

''Can I ask you something first Rachel?''

The inquisitive girl asked with a small frown on her little face. Rachel nodded and crouched down so she was face to face with the girl.

''Sure.''

''I don't want to seem rude.''

Rachel smiled.

''Go ahead.''

''How come you didn't want to meet us before? After your show?''

Rachel blinked at the girl for a moment as she wondered what she was talking about. She ran the details over the agreement that she had with the magazine but she didn't remember anything about a meeting after the show she would have welcomed it if she had. Looking up at the woman Rachel posed the silent question.

''Originally they were supposed to come for a long weekend, see the show and have dinner with you then do this the next day. But we were informed after that you wanted to split the time and drop the dinner.''

The assistant informed the singer dutifully.

''So, you flew them out here then back, and waited to fly them back out again?''

The assistant nodded. Rachel took in a breath and ran her tongue across her lips as she tried her damndest to restrain the anger that flared up. Someone had spoken in her name and she hated that. It would have been much simpler to bring these girls out once and she would have loved to have dinner with them after the show. The disappointment was still residual on their faces and they probably thought she hadn't wanted to meet them or something like that. It pissed her off.

''Well, all I can do is apologise for what was clearly a huge mix up. And to make it up to you I would very much like to have that dinner with you. Are your parents with you this trip?''

The girls nodded quickly.

''Okay, well this lovely lady from the magazine will give them a quick call while we're doing our interview and then _I _will make a quick call and make sure you can see another show tonight. Sound good?''

Although Rachel was still seething that someone had spoken for her and ended up initially disappointing these girls on her behalf she was happy to see that they were happy and excited about her second offer. It was the least she could do to restore their faith in life they would grow up soon enough but she didn't want to be a cog in making that happen any faster than it had to.

Rachel smiled at them and then gave a smile to their chaperone as she guided the kids over to the little set up designed for them. It turned out that their topic had been about bullying. Everyone knew that Rachel had had a rough time during high school and she was an open voice on anti-bullying campaigns. They asked her about school and what happened and how she had handled it. They talked about the options that kids had and that they should always feel like they had the right to speak out. They also talked about the fact that a lot of bullies had something going on which made them act like that.

It had been a good interview in the end actually more intellectually stimulating than she had had with many adult reporters. The girls had thought out their questions really well and it seemed like a very personal cause for them.

They had done the photo shoot and said goodbye until later. Rachel had called her agency to cancel her appointment because she knew if she kept it then she would lose it with someone. Instead she made her calls in order to get her promised dinner ready as well as obtaining some tickets for the girls and their parents.

GGG GGG GGG

''So, who was it?''

Quinn asked before she took a sip of her water. Rachel sat next to her on the huge steps of the court building that they were filming outside of. She had her elbows propped on her knees and her hands cradling her glum looking face. Neither of them really registered the commotion continuing around them. The crew were reorganising the cameras and the extra that Quinn was working with on the scene was talking with the director further down to the bottom of the stairs. There were blockades stopping the interested people passing by or the fans that had bothered to wait around to see one of their favourite shows being filmed. The blonde had already spoken to some of them and signed a few autographs and she would probably do the same again when they finished.

Right now though she was trying not to look like she was trying to eat her pasta salad whole because she only had a limited lunch break before filming started again.

''I have no idea. I came straight here because I was so pissed off and afraid that I would end up firing somebody.''

Rachel glowered as she muttered petulantly. Quinn smirked, finding the glower and petulance truly adorable.

''Baby, if someone is speaking on your behalf and they do something without your approval that damages you, then you're allowed to fire them. It's sloppy work, anyone can get fired for sloppy work.''

Quinn reminded gently. Rachel hated firing people. It was because she always formed an emotional attachment and sometimes it was difficult for her to separate them from friend and employee. She was just good natured like that. She tried to come off as the dominant ball buster but sometimes if she had known someone for too long she just couldn't grind the axe.

''I know that. Someone is going to be fired, trust me. I just don't know how to do it without either throwing something or getting rid of them all.''

The blonde frowned.

''How many agents do you have Rachel?''

She squeaked in disbelief. She only knew of one. The one she hated.

''It's just Darren and his two assistants...and his sectary...who I'm pretty sure do most of the work.''

''Honey you don't have to stay with Darren for his staff. He's a toad and he looks at you like he's planning to put something in your drink to make you _compliant_.''

Shudders ran through Quinn as she sneered and got angry even though she technically had no reason to be. As Rachel's best friend and now girlfriend however she was insanely protective and she had seen the look before that Darren got around Rachel. It was a cold look that only saw what he wanted and how he could most easily get it.

He hadn't started out as such a creep but as he had built up his career he had just turned into a smarmy asshole that Quinn didn't like or trust. Rachel had waved it off as that he was just shark like about his work but she had admitted in recent times that some of the things he said were starting to make her uncomfortable. But because the singer couldn't get that image out of her head from when he had been a nice guy it was harder for her to do something about. She wanted to believe that he was still in there while Quinn was simply concerned with getting Rachel as far away as possible.

''Quinn! Can you _not_ say things like that it freaks me out.''

''Sorry.''

She wasn't all that sorry.

''I have been getting increasingly frustrated and concerned about his behaviour however. I just let it slide because he was still a good agent but now? Blowing off kids in my name? I should fire him, shouldn't I.''

Quinn nodded affirmatively.

''Yes, yes you should. Right now. Do you want me to do it for you?''

Rachel looked at her girlfriend with a smirk growing on her face that turned into a laugh as she saw the mischief in her eyes. Quinn had always known what to do to cheer her up a little or make things seem better. It didn't take away from the fact that her response had been serious and she wanted her to fire him but it was sweet too because she just needed to chill out for a minute too.

Rachel stole the water bottle from next to Quinn and took a few sips as she looked around.

''Are you wrapping up soon?''

''Once we get this shot right. Why?''

''Will you come to the dinner later? I've organised a little surprise because I felt so guilty.''

Quinn smirked.

''Sure I would love to. Do_ I_ get a surprise after?''

She asked lecherously as she wiggled her eyes and nudged into the shorter woman a couple of times making Rachel laugh and try to swat her back into place.

''Stop it, Fabray! I may or may not fuck you senseless tonight, you'll just have to wait and see.''

Quinn laughed at the forwardness as she lifted her eyebrows and stared at her girlfriend. That was very much a reason to do anything that Rachel wanted.

''_Quinn_! We're shooting in 5. Hey Rach!''

Rachel gave Quinn's TV show creator Arthur a wave before he turned back to talk to the man behind the camera about whatever was going to happen. He was a nice guy and he had seen something in Quinn that he had specifically written her character around her. The more they did the more he pulled out of the blonde.

''Okay, well I suppose that's that. I'll meet you at the restaurant?''

''I'll send you the time and place. Have a good shoot okay. I love you.''

''I love you too.''


	5. Chapter 5

**Just a little thanks to those who have reviewed/PM'd it was really cool and I really appreciated it because I'm still a bit nervous about this whole posting thing. There's some more subtext in this chapter but I think after this it starts being explained and they'll be a note on before saying when. Thanks again :)**

**Chapter Five**

''God I love fucking you.''

Rachel panted heavily as her back hit the bed in a collapsed heap as Quinn's did the same next to her panting just as hard. Their skin was flushed and covered with a fine sheen of sweat from their sex efforts with ruffled up hair and a blown away expression.

Music drifted through Quinn's apartment loudly. Not obnoxiously loud but not quiet either. They had arrived home maybe an hour and a half ago stumbling a little as they laughed into one another a little buzzed from the drinks they had had.

Dinner had gone very well. Rachel had pulled some favours with a swanky restaurant and she had also used her charm to get some of her Broadway friends to come along and meet the two little girls and their parents for dinner. They had all been wonderful and friendly and Quinn could tell that Rachel was over the moon about it. The girls had been made a fuss of and got to spend time with people from the musicals that they loved so much. Their parents had been very grateful for the overindulgence. They were nice people and Rachel had been talking with them about the girls first and then generally just interesting conversation and the actress was kind of sure she had gotten emails and numbers or something. Totally Rachel.

After some pictures and seeing them off to the musical that Rachel had gotten them into the pair of them and those friends had hit the bars. They had drank danced and talked to their hearts content. Quinn had the day off the next day and so did Rachel.

Upon getting back to Quinn's apartment they had had their own little dance session which had included a _very _raunchy striptease for Quinn from her girlfriend. It had apparently been her surprise. Quinn had been all too happy to receive that and the lap dance that the brunette had given her and had been even more so turned on by the fact that Rachel acted like a real stripper and warned her not to touch her. It had been hot and the closest thing to role play that they had done together so far.

''I love you fucking me too...''

Quinn grinned breathlessly as she wiggled a finger in the air lazily.

''_All _the way from the second lounge to my bedroom!''

There was a very satisfied tone running though her hoarse voice. Rachel had made her sing like a canary and Quinn was quite positive that every curse word invented had come pouring out of her mouth tonight. Seriously Rachel Berry was a sexual stud the girl just never stopped. Why anyone would break up with her was beyond Quinn. She knew how to play the body and work it up to its seemingly maximum height before taking it up that bit further before pushing it over the edge into phenomenal oblivion. Quinn thought she had blacked out at one point.

It would have terrified her if it had been anyone else. Quinn was no angel in the sack but she had always managed to keep some control because deep down she didn't trust anyone to see her through that oblivion and back again. She was very open about sex she loved sex and she was very active and happy to explore. It was just that she didn't let herself go with her past lovers like they had let go for her.

With Rachel however she had relinquished that control at the first kiss.

''Satisfied?''

Rachel teased smugly. Quinn scoffed and nodded as she make a little squeak.

''Oh you have no idea. Really, I wish you could split in two so you could fuck yourself and see how good you are.''

''Eww, Quinn that's gross and wildly inappropriate. Besides, I wouldn't want to have sex with myself. I don't think I'm actually that attractive. Both myself and I would just focus on doing you.''

Rachel had no idea why she was entertaining this line of conversation because it was so odd right after sex. The idea of her and another her getting it on was gross. It would probably be fun for Quinn to think about in that sordid little brain of hers but not so much for her. However getting Quinn of with double the power of her? That actually sounded cool.

''_What_?''

''Well logically it would be appropriate because I think you're super sexy, so therefore my other me would too. We would have the same lust for you so...''

Quinn sat up and looked down at Rachel in a shock and concern that was wildly serious for the weird but amusing moment they were having.

''No, Rachel, forget that. You don't think you're that attractive?''

The singer fell silent as she blushed a little bit suddenly very aware that she was naked and exposed to Quinn's eyes.

''No.''

The blonde flailed as she watched Rachel get up from the bed and walk across the room to a dresser so she could pull out a t-shirt and some shorts she knew Quinn kept in there.

''What are you talking about? You're fucking gorgeous. How can you not know that?''

''Because I don't. And I don't want to talk about it.''

Rachel turned her back on her girlfriend as she yanked the clothing on before pulling her hair out of the back and striding out of the room. The dramatic exit made Quinn scramble to get off of her bed practically falling flat on her face as she got stuck in the sheet.

''Rachel!''

There was no response and the blonde sighed as she pulled out some clothes too. How had it come to this? They had had a great night up until now. There had been lots of dancing and teasing Rachel had strutted along the dance floor like she owned it and Quinn hadn't been the only one that couldn't take her eyes off of her.

Quickly the increasingly concerned actress rushed out of her bedroom and along the hallway. As she came out into the upper lounge she saw that Rachel wasn't amongst the clothes that they had shed so she continued on her way quickly making her way down the steps as she spotted the singer out on the terrace curled up into herself on one of the chairs.

Relieved at just knowing that Rachel was still in the apartment Quinn slowly walked her approach stopping in the doorway to just regard her lover. The air was warm and fresh and the soft breeze played in Rachel's long dark hair. She looked beautiful truly she did. Her eyes were staring out into the shimming lights of the city like it held the answer to life itself.

''Rachel, baby, please talk to me. I didn't mean to upset you.''

Quinn moved to kneel in front of her girlfriend putting her hands on her feet and looking up into her face. She saw there was actual pain in the smaller woman's expression along with the glint of tears in her eyes. But she didn't look at her though the blonde could tell that she was struggling to.

''I know you didn't.''

The singer whispered emotionally.

''Then what happened? Whatever it is you can tell me, I promise.''

Rachel's jaw clenched for a moment as she moved her eyes to stare down a different direction in the city. It was really nice out here and she could definitely understand why Quinn liked the stillness that the night provided. Even in a city that never slept it was still enough to be comforting. It did the same thing that the stage did for her made her feel introspective and insignificant. It was a good reality check sometimes and a good place to think.

''Don't keep things from me, it makes me nervous.''

Quinn begged as she bit down on her bottom lip frowning desperately as she looked up at Rachel like she was a child seeking an answer from a parent. Rachel had always been her touchstone; she had always depended and trusted on her to be honest. When she felt like she had no centre she had turned to Rachel to be it.

''I'm not keeping anything from you, I just don't see the point of talking about how I feel about my appearance.''

''You're beautiful, Rachel. I thought you knew that. You've been joking around that I'm only interested in you now because of your body. You've strut around in skimpy costumes and underwear. _And _you're a little sex bomb. You're so comfortable with your body in those respects, you just _danced_ for me, how can you not think you're attractive?''

Quinn's head was reeling. Rachel was a confident woman. She commanded attention she knew what she wanted and in most cases she went for it. It had been her determination and strength that had propelled her this far gaining notoriety and respect for her great talents. Rachel Berry was now a very well known name. She was adored and revered after.

Rachel was as she had always been sensational on stage. It was like being on it was like oxygen like it was just the way it was supposed to be. She was so small but she filled up the space with her presence. There had been many costumes and Rachel controlled her body perfectly during dances. She hit every cue and every note. On camera for the work she had done she was very much the same. Rachel was a perfectionist and she wouldn't accept anything less from herself. One of her parts had included a _very _hot scene that ended up with a limited amount of clothes.

She had done countless of photo shoots across the range too. And her sexual prowess was often commented on. Rachel knew how to turn it on and she knew the effect she could have on people when she did. It just never occurred to Quinn that she felt anything else but comfortable with herself.

''Because I act, Quinn.''

''But _why _do you act? I don't understand.''

''I just...I hear the voices in the back of my head still, okay? Telling me that I'm a joke and that I'm man-ish and unattractive. I can still hear them mocking me and putting me down.''

Rachel looked at Quinn but the anger and upset she felt wasn't directed at her. Quinn sat back on her heels though as she just stared at her girlfriend for a moment both astonished and guilty. Rachel had been biting back because she knew that as soon as she said that Quinn would know how long lasting the things she and her friends had put her through truly were. Before they had made friends Quinn had been an utter bitch to Rachel. She had needed someone to lash out at and Rachel had always been her prime target.

''I was one of those voices.''

She whispered as tears sprang into her eyes and her throat cracked as it dried out. Rachel leant forward and cupped her face.

''No you're not. I made my peace with you _and _everyone else, okay? It was high school. The voices are just mine.''

This was just one of the reasons why Rachel had never said much about this particular issue of hers. The voices were reminiscent of what she had been put through in not just high school but junior high too. She had put on a brave face back then had smiled brightly through the constant slushies and the constant insults. The verbal attacks and the physical shoves and pushes she had been slammed into her fair share of lockers. She had been forced to keep more than one entire spare outfit at school to change into. Her Dad's had constantly asked her why she had so much dry cleaning and why she went to school in one set of clothes and came back home in another.

The odd thing was that she had dealt with the slushies and the shoves a lot easier than she had the insults. What she hadn't dealt with as easily had been being told that she was a joke that she was just a self-centred psycho who was a mere bug on the windshield of life. All those times when she had put herself out there to be beaten down by malicious comments or apathy all those times when she had been trying to be honest or doing something she thought would help the group. Her intentions had pretty much always honourable with the exception of a handful of mistakes that any teenager was allowed to make.

Rachel had either been shunned or bitch slapped into place. Her birthday's had usually gone without any real significant parties because she had been too afraid to invite anyone. She had focused and obsessed on her dream so hard well beyond normality actually because it had been something to get her through the lowest points. She had known that all she had to do was get through school so becoming obsessed with the life she wanted after it had been like a survival mechanism for her. So she had thrown herself into it to the point of oblivion throwing herself into everything she thought may help which had only ended up making the tormenters work all the harder in most cases.

''How can you say that when I tortured you when I wasn't downright ignoring you? I must be in there somewhere.''

Quinn argued weakly feeling the carried over guilt and shame that she associated with what she had been part of back then despite Rachel's forgiveness. After finding out just how amazing the shorter girl was Quinn had never truly forgiven herself for putting her through so much and no amount of forgiveness from Rachel would ever make her change that.

She had learnt to live with it though like she had learnt to live with a lot of things.

''I wouldn't be your friend _or_ your girlfriend if you were.''

Rachel whispered sincerely. No matter what had happened to bring them together there would have been nothing that could keep them so close for so long if Rachel really did hear Quinn's voice casting negative judgements in her head. And she needed her to know that because she didn't want the blonde to torture herself.

''So why do you do everything you do to stay in shape?''

Rachel simply shrugged.

''I need to, and I'm not completely ignorant of the fact that I seem to have a certain appeal. But _knowing_ it and _feeling_ it can be two different things. I'm confident because it's what I do, you know that too as an actress.''

Quinn swallowed the painful lump in her throat as she glanced down for a moment a wave of nausea tipping into her stomach as a slew of memories forced their way behind her eyes. Memories that she had worked hard to keep at bay over the years so she could live her life. She definitely knew the difference that Rachel was talking about the one between feeling something and knowing something. Being told by people over and over that you were something didn't necessarily make you believe it.

Though that thought almost made her snort given that she had lived with a label that had been forced on her too. It was sad really how people would accept the negative feedback into them a lot easier than the positive. Humans were sadomasochists.

''Not just as an actress.''

The words fell out of Quinn's mouth in a state of almost quiet shock making Rachel drop her jaw and reel in guilt and horror as she began to shake her head.

''Quinn...I didn't...I'm sorry I didn't mean to drag that up.''

Shaking it off and straightening up Quinn cleared her throat and cleared her head. This was probably the main reason why Rachel had never brought it up and she never wanted that to happen again. The brunette was right though you got used to things as an actress you got used to parading around in underwear or got comfortable in front of a camera because it was just what you did. You knew that someone looking was interested attracted maybe but it didn't mean you had to feel it. Quinn had done plenty of things as an actress that she just saw as part of her job.

Kissing men was definitely one of those things. Actually doing any kind of heterosexual make out or sex scene was definitely some of those things.

As horrible as it was for her to have those memories sneak up on her like an evil ninja though it did remind her of her own battle with the issue at hand and it also reminded her of the biggest reason why she had won it and had allowed herself to grow and become who she was now.

''You didn't. I _do_ know what it's like not to feel it. But do you know what changed in my life to change my opinion of myself?''

Rachel shook her head in obliviousness and Quinn wondered for a second on how such a truly intelligent woman could be so damn clueless.

''What?''

''_You_, Rachel.''

The brunette frowned slightly but let Quinn take in her breath to explain.

''You told me that I was beautiful, and that I wasn't what I had started to believe I was. You said that beauty wasn't just what was on the outside, it was your mind and your soul and your personality. And you said it enough that I couldn't do anything else _but _believe it.

I have my moments, everybody does, but you restored my faith and my belief in myself. Enough to be comfortable anyway. So you have to listen to me now, okay? You have nothing to worry about. You're so beautiful that you actually take my breath away. It's not just your body, which _dear god_ woman, my knuckles literally go white I have to grip onto something that hard.

It's _you_. It's your spirit and your laugh and your talent and your intelligence. It's the things like what you did tonight for those girls. It makes you sexy and beautiful and amazing. And I will say it over and over to you like you did for me until you have no other choice than to believe me.''

Quinn knelt forward properly again and smiled lovingly up at Rachel as her shaky hands cupped the sides of her face. The brunette looked down at her with wide eyes all vulnerable but sweet and adorable. It reminded her of the looks that she had in high school on the rare occasions that the rest of them had done something heartening. Like how they had all gotten so angry over that prick Jesse St. James and his obnoxious crew egging Rachel in the parking lot. Quinn had wanted to ram something thick and sharp down his throat that would cause a sensational amount of blood loss.

If that turd came within 50 feet of Rachel ever again she would rip off something _very _important to him. Since moving to New York Quinn knew that he had tried to get in contact with her girlfriend but Rachel had told him to stick it.

Anyway murderous urges aside Quinn's heart broke a little at the childlike vulnerability in Rachel's eyes but the sparkle behind them at having this moment.

''I do. I do believe you when you say it. It's just a work in progress I think. But when you look at me, it makes me believe you see something special, and I start to feel it.''

Quinn had always looked at her like she was special after they had made friends. Even if they would have a fight over something stupid it would still be there. It didn't happen a whole lot but such a long standing friendship and two girls living together – it happened. PMS week was a bad week for them!

The look that she would never forget though was the look Quinn had given her that afternoon. Everything had been perfectly normal and Rachel had just been chatting to Tina before she had looked into the apartment to seamlessly lock into her eyes seeing there such a wealth of feeling that it had stolen her breathe and made her heart pound against her chest. No one had ever looked at her like that and even just thinking about it made her skin tingle.

It was amazing what Quinn could make her feel with just a simple single glance.

''Good, because I plan on looking at you like that for a long, long time. Because you _are _special Rachel. You just have to remember why I was who I was back then. The others fell in line with me, for that I'm responsible. But if they really thought you were all of those bad things, would Brittney really have fucked you in the janitors closet?''

Rachel dropped her jaw again as she gasped scowling petulantly as her cheeks flushed red and she slapped Quinn lightly for bringing it up and for ruining their little moment. Though she did know the blonde said it on purpose to lighten the mood and make her laugh if she could.

''Quinn! Do you _have_ to bring that up? Besides, Brittney did a _lot _of people in that closet.''

''Yes, true she did. But she _really _wanted you Rachel, and she told me that you were one of her most favoured scores. She said if you asked her to do it again she would, in a heartbeat.''

Quinn laughed as she snapped her fingers. This conversation had taken place that very afternoon that she and Rachel had gotten together. She had been stood in the kitchen with Brittney as everyone was laughing over a sing off that Rachel and Kurt was having and Rachel was following him around or chasing him predatorily. Brittney had made the comment something along the lines of that Rachel only seemed to get hotter and she would be her beck and call girl if so required. Or she would be if she weren't married already.

''She did?''

''Yeah. But you know, you're mine so no sex with blonde's that aren't me, okay?''

The blonde warned easily. Rachel giggled easily and leant forward to place a kiss on her girlfriends forehead.

''I think I can manage that! You...you have no idea what you do to me. Seriously! I think you could quite easily put me in a sex coma! I'm sorry I freaked you out.''

Quinn had a lot to brag about if she were so inclined Rachel definitely knew that from personal experience now. Living with Quinn had been interesting for many reasons. Firstly of course being an excellent roommate and best friend. But Rachel's room hadn't been that far removed from Quinn's and she had heard the noises floating out of them when she brought some girl home. Unsurprisingly Quinn Fabray seemed to have been quite the stud and now that she had been there for herself she would sure enough toast to that fact.

Rachel had developed a lot since high school. After the blinkers had come away from her eyes and she had found herself a little more she seemed to have come into her own. She had taught Finn to control himself so she could actually enjoy sex instead of only managing to get half naked before he would cum two minutes later. Her confidence had built more and more but with being royally done by Brittney in the aforementioned closet Rachel was introduced to what sex was _supposed_ to feel like. And of course being Rachel Berry she had set her mind to perfecting her skills.

The end result was what Quinn got to have now. The very sexually confident Rachel Berry. Rachel just thought Quinn should take a look at herself for a change because dear god could she make the earth move. They seemed to be two equally confident active and sensual women with matching abilities that was like setting off a volcano.

''It's okay, I just wished that you had talked to me about this before.''

''I couldn't.''

Rachel breathed out with a shake of her head for emphasis.

''Why?''

The brunette gaped slightly as her hands ran through Quinn's silky hair. Briefly the image of a broken 16 year old standing on her doorstep popped into her head but she pushed it out as quickly as she could. She hated that image because she couldn't stand to know that someone Quinn was supposed to trust in had hurt her so badly. Rachel freaked at the sheer thought of anything happening to her lover and she wasn't the only one with murderous intentions.

She may have been small she may have been cute but she could damn well kick ass.

''You know why. I felt like it was such a trivial thing and that eventually something would happen to make me feel it, so I would wait for that point in time. It was a much more acceptable option than whining about myself to someone who has been through so much more.''

''Baby I would never have thought you were whining. As your best friend I would have liked to have been there for you to talk it out. As your girlfriend, I now expect you to come to me when you start thinking these _insane_ thoughts. Because nothing that comes out of your head is trivial.

No matter what the reason, feeling like that about yourself is not a healthy thing. It took time and a _lot _of support to realise that I wasn't a disgusting, ugly good for nothing whore. We've been through different things that can't be compared; we just have to be there for one another now. Okay?''

Secretly Quinn had always felt like she owed Rachel her life. Not in a weird way that hung over her head but in a way that if it ever came down to it she would put Rachel's life before her own because of the simple fact that the singer had saved her. In many different ways over all these years it had been a gradual thing as well as an immediate one at the time.

She had had lots of support but especially Rachel's.

''Okay.''

''Good. Do you want to go back to bed?''

Rachel smiled genuinely.

''Can I hold you all night if I say yes?''

Quinn laughed and pulled Rachel up and into a tight hug. She breathed in deeply filling her nose up with the smaller woman's scent. Her skin never felt so settled than when she was holding Rachel in some way. If she were anyone else she would have had Quinn scared to death of the magnitude at which she felt for her. Never had she fallen so hard so fast. In fact Quinn could probably say that she had fought love in every capacity in the past. Sure she had been in love after losing that fight but she'd never let herself slip to this level of it before.

Rachel wasn't someone you could easily fight against though. She had seen enough people fall for her in her time to know that. It was strange to the brunette given that she had been the lowly outcast in school to gain such interest and most of the time she didn't realise how deeply people could feel for her. But Quinn saw.

''Yes please.''

The blonde agreed readily as she moved to catch Rachel's mouth in her own for a sloppy tired but loving kiss. Together hand in hand they went back inside and after locking up the patio made their way back to the bedroom. It wasn't long before they gave in to sleep given the previous nights lateness and their working schedules and going out tonight. They had been exhausted and now that everything had been dealt with they were free to just wrap up in each other and sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**WARNING**

**This is where the darker themes start coming in and it might be somewhat obvious of what Quinn's deal is to some folks because I'm not sure if I do suspense that well but hey! **

**What I have to say about it is that it is a fine blend between creativing licensing and very much real life that has been experienced. I don't want to focus particularly on what has happened but more want to illistrate how it brings two opposites together over time and the strength that people can find when they know someone need help. I also wanted to write about how a family that choses to be a family can be a hell of a lot stronger than blood.**

**So mature themes during flashbacks that might be distressing due to mentions of abuse. **

**Chapter Six**

Quinn sang along quietly to the soft music easing out of the little kitchen radio. Her mornings for the past couple of weeks had been full of early wake up calls for early morning shoots. Her particular favourite one had been getting up at 4am to film at the docks at 6am. She had been a little grumpy but by the time she had gotten to the location and she had spent time with everyone she had been her happy self again and had really enjoyed filming out there. The water had been so calm and the air had been cool and fresh. It had provided some stillness in the midst of the chaotic movement of people and equipment.

That's what she loved most about her job. It was pretty much _all _done on location. When she had gotten the part for the show she had been elated that she was able to stay in New York. She loved it here it felt like home. Ohio had never really felt like much of a home rather than a sinking hole. One of her biggest fears had been that she would get dragged down in the quicksand and never see daylight again.

Now she was here and she wasn't even living her dream because she had never dared dream about this. Being a successful working actress with a nice place to live good friends and now a wonderful girlfriend? Those were things that she had once thought would be beyond her grasp. She couldn't really ask for much more if this was to be her lot in life then she would gladly accept her fate.

The blonde smirked as she danced along to the instrumental of the song that was playing as she moved around the kitchen easily. Quinn had been surprised to discover that she loved cooking. She just seemed to have a natural instinct for it in stark contrast to Rachel who had set their kitchen on fire in Julliard. Ever since the brunette had been banned from operating the oven and from cooking anything above the skill requirement of beans on toast. The brunette had survived on take out and Quinn cooking for her. Admittedly Rachel had gotten a little better and it was hard to royally screw up her vegan cooking but she was still not allowed to cook in her kitchen.

''I love it when you sing.''

Quinn turned around and smiled wider as she kept on flowing to the music as she continued getting breakfast ready. Rachel was sat on the steps watching her with a hand loosely running through her messy brown locks.

''I love your hair when it looks like that.''

The blonde quipped back her compliment. Rachel snickered at her.

''No you don't I haven't even attempted to take a comb to it yet. What with your fascination of yanking on it during sex and the fact that I'm a shuffler, it gets tangled fast!''

Quinn chuckled and shook her head as Rachel babbled about the state of her hair. One thing that had never changed about the brunette was her long assed sentences. It was sweet most of the time completely annoying at other times. Honestly sometimes Quinn worried that Rachel didn't actually stop to breathe often enough.

The brunette was right though Quinn did have a fascination with her hair especially in sex and Rachel was a shuffler in her sleep.

''Breakfast is ready.''

Quinn ignored her girlfriend with a cheeky smile as she popped a grape into her mouth and winked at the brunette as she slid her plate across the island before turning to the coffee pot. She could hear Rachel shuffle onto the stool at the island and squeak happily at her awaiting breakfast as she poured out the steaming coffee. She had already gotten out both of their milk regular for her but soya milk for Rachel. Her veganism was still as strong as it had been back in school. Quinn had never understood it then but she had to admit it wasn't that bad. Soya milk was pretty tasty and Rachel's food was very nice. The tofu and quorn were great substitutes and tasted surprisingly good but Quinn still needed some meat every now and then. Her compromise for Rachel was shopping at a ridiculously expensive organic store so the brunette at least knew that no cows were being shot up with some kind of steroids and no chickens were being stuck in cages and nothing was getting slaughtered inhumanely.

Quinn placed the mug in front of Rachel who gave her a thankful smile as she watched the blonde sit on the stool opposite her clearing her throat before taking a sip of her own coffee and glancing at the front page of the folded newspaper.

''Quinn?''

The blonde grunted lightly as she became preoccupied with reading the morning's news.

''Are you okay?''

''Sure baby, why?''

Quinn still didn't look up from the newspaper as she flipped it over to continue reading the front page.

''It wasn't for long and it wasn't overly loud, but you were moaning in your sleep.''

Quinn looked up at her quickly and Rachel froze under her gaze for a moment. She felt a stinging in her chest as a whiplash of pain shot through beautiful hazel eyes before being chased away by a very well constructed stone wall. Rachel felt as though she had been knocked on her ass she was being shut out so efficiently.

''I'm fine. I was probably just dreaming about you.''

Yes, fine. Quinn's tone only got clipped like that when she was reeling back inside of herself.

''You don't remember?''

''No.''

Rachel watched her girlfriend as she looked away defying her attempts at eye contact to go back to the paper. Though the shorter woman could tell that the actress wasn't reading anymore she was just pretending to. There was a slight tremble in her hands as she tried to hold them still by wrapping them around her coffee mug. When it didn't work she clattered it back onto the counter.

''Quit staring at me Rachel I'm fine.''

The singer swallowed at the warning hearing the hardness behind the words. She had heard it before; Quinn had tried to shut her out a thousand times over. She had shouted and screamed at her over and over again she had said so many things to try and push her away but Rachel had never heard the words but the pain behind them.

''Baby...''

Quinn closed her eyes and sighed.

''Don't. Just...don't.''

She warned again. She didn't want to talk or rehash the past. All she had wanted to do was enjoy a morning off with her girlfriend. The next couple of days she would be working none stop so today she had just wanted to relax and spend a nice day with Rachel.

They had spent two weeks apart and after the time they had already spent Quinn had been left feeling on a high. Telling Rachel she loved her and hearing it back from the brunette...Quinn just wanted to indulge in that for a little while.

Now she felt that bubble was breaking. It made her completely lose her appetite as her back felt like it was being pushed back up against a wall. Standing up she picked up her plate to take over to the sink.

''I'm just trying to help...''

''_Fuck Rachel_!''

Rachel jumped in her stool as Quinn threw the plate into the sink so hard that it shattered. After so long without an outburst like that it seemed more shocking than ever. She hated it when the blonde got like this but she could understand why she did. It made her feel like the bad guy prodding and provoking until something snapped but she had learnt very quickly that Quinn needed it otherwise she would quite happily bottle things up until she exploded.

''Just shut the fuck up about it okay? Is that fucking possible for you, to just _shut_ your mouth? God, you push and you push and I'm sick of it. Why can't you just learn to back off instead of causing shit? All I wanted to do was have breakfast with you but now I don't even want to look at you. Get out. Just...just fucking leave me alone.''

Rachel sat through the spouting tirade quietly as Quinn got the anger off of her chest before walking away not even looking at her as she passed and stormed up the stairs. After a moment Rachel heard a door slam loudly and she closed her eyes and let out the breath she had been holding slowly.

Pushing away her plate she just sat there for a moment sagging slightly as she propped her head up with her elbow on the counter. Her eyes closed for a moment before she took in a deep breath. Despite having seen these outbursts before and having many of them directed toward her it always took a moment to let it wash over her. Despite knowing that the words weren't meant for her specifically that it was just easier to lash out at the closest person to you it just took a moment to remind herself of that and let the words go by her.

Rachel Berry had no intention of leaving though. Instead she stood up and moved around the long island into the kitchen and made quick work of cleaning up. She carefully removed the pieces of broken plate from the sink and trashed them along with the leftover food before putting the rest into the dishwasher.

Maybe 10 minutes had gone by before she made her move and walked through the apartment. As she moved up the stairs and along the hallway she heard the faint flow of the shower. Rachel didn't knock as she opened the door glad that it wasn't locked. Quinn probably thought she had gone home or was hanging around in the living room instead. Sometimes in the heat of the moment she forgot how stubborn she was and if she had remembered she would know that it was never going to happen.

Rachel shut the door again so the heat didn't escape and stripped off of her shorts and t-shirt leaving them in a heap on the floor next to Quinn's and opened the door to the large shower cubicle. As the steam shifted she could see her girlfriend just standing there with her hands leaning on the wall her head ducked as the hot water pouring down. She didn't move at the noise or the approach of the shorter woman.

The singer didn't say a word as she placed her hands on her girlfriend and slowly turned her around and let her wrap her arms around her feeling the shaking of her body against hers as she sobbed.

''I'm sorry...I'm _so _sorry I didn't mean it.''

Rachel held the distressed blonde and whispered in her ear and kissed the side of her face.

''I know, its okay. Let it go. Get it out.''

GGG GGG GGG

_Rachel had been left at home to supervise herself before. As a responsible teenager her Dad's trusted her to do the right thing and contact them should any problem arise over the weekend. Rachel had drills in place should anything untoward happen and she had learnt some basic self defence moves. One said self defence move was to knee upward and run like hell._

_However what Rachel didn't so much have a drill for was frantic knocking on the front door at 4 in the afternoon. Didn't serial killers always come at night? And didn't they tend to sneak in somehow like a creepy horror movie villain? _

''_W...who is it?''_

_Rachel screeched a little too dramatically as both of her increasingly sweaty palms clutched the handle of the frying pan that she had picked up on her way toward the door. She squealed at the thunder that had started to roll overhead as the rain had started outside. It was light now but it was getting stronger as the storm moved in. It was even getting a little dark._

''_It's Quinn!''_

_Rachel froze not far from the door as she frowned in utter confusion. Quinn Fabray was at her house? Quinn Fabray knew where she _lived_? How? Why? How? They were some of the many valid questions parading through the brunette's suspicious mind. So she wasn't being confronted by a serial killer...well...they had to start somewhere right? _

''_Quinn?''_

_Rachel nervously stepped up to the window by the door and pulled aside the net to look out onto the front porch. No one was there but Quinn so she wasn't about to get ambushed by the entire cheerleading squad that had somehow found out that she was alone for the weekend. _

''_Please let me in.''_

_Rachel's heart squeezed inside of her chest for none other reason than the desperation in Quinn's voice. She had never heard it like that not even when she had been at her most distraught. This was something else and it terrified her. Something was wrong she knew it. Something was very, very wrong._

_Quickly Rachel unlocked the door and opened it up staring wide eyed at the cheerleader that had pretty much made her life hell for as long as she could remember. _

''_Are your Dad's home?''_

_Quinn asked as she barely managed not to sob on the spot. Rachel shook her head._

''_They left for the weekend.''_

_She whispered. She felt like time had slowed down as her eyes refused to blink because it would mean losing sight of Quinn. The girl that always looked so beautiful even if she wasn't trying. The girl that had a radiant smile that stunned people when she let herself use it. The girl that dressed fashionably and was so coordinated and perfect._

_Now? The blonde stood on the porch dishevelled and shaking. Her usually perfect sunshine hair was not only lightly damp from the rain but messed up with pieces of dirt stuck in there. Her face was much the same way with dirt smeared across it and blood too. There was already signs of a bruise across the left side of it. Her clothes were in exactly the same state, dirty, damp, dishevelled and torn. _

''_Quinn...''_

_Rachel didn't get any further because the next thing she knew the taller girl had thrown herself into her arms wrapping around her so tightly that Rachel was actually struggling to breathe. The frying pan clattered to the floor as she ignored her struggles and wrapped her arms around the sobbing blonde carefully but firmly enough to let her know that she was safe now. _

_The brunette could feel the tears soaking into her and eventually they collapsed onto the floor in a heap and all Rachel could hear was the blonde's wailing. Her grip on her had never loosened but had maybe even tightened some more. She was clinging onto Rachel in absolute desperation and fear. It made Rachel feel sick to her stomach because she knew something bad had happened to the blonde and despite their past history Rachel still cared about her. They were a family inside of Glee and she wouldn't take kindly to anyone hurting her. But obviously someone had._

''_What happened, Quinn?''_

_Rachel tried to coax gently but only got some more sobs in reply. She ran her hands through Quinn's ratty and knotted hair and rocked her gently holding her as close as she could. If that was the only thing that she could do to make Quinn feel safe or give her some human warmth then so be it._

''_Sweetheart, please, talk to me. What happened Quinn? Who hurt you?''_

_Rachel eased Quinn back a little so that she could look at her and tears formed in her own eyes a little as she saw the fear in those pretty hazel eyes. They were damaged and bruised and broken. Immediately Rachel wanted to inflict some serious wrath on someone. _

_Quinn's body shook as she tried to compose herself as she let Rachel stroke away her tears with her thumbs. She had no idea why she had felt compelled to go to Rachel Berry's door of all doors but she hadn't fought the instinct. _

''_I...I can't...''_

''_You're safe here I promise. Quinn please, who hurt you?''_

_Quinn looked at Rachel before flopping forward again and Rachel made soothing noises as she ran her hand up and down the blonde's back. Her mind was reeling. One minute she had been imagining what it would be like to have her own house and thinking about putting on a DVD and now she was heaped on the entranceway floor with Quinn sobbing her heart out after what Rachel suspected was a very nasty assault._

''_He...I thought he'd stop but...oh god...he found me Rachel.''_

_Rachel held Quinn tighter her stomach flipping at the thought that this may not have been the one and only time something like this had happened. Her heart was banging hard against her chest and her lungs felt like they were on fire with anger._

''_Who, Quinn?''_

_Quinn sniffled and her body tensed even more._

''_My...my Dad.''_

_Rachel eased Quinn back again but the blonde had her eyes closed. She was biting her lip and her whole body was shaking. Rachel brushed some of the blonde hair out the way of Quinn's face taking a moment to try and compose herself too._

''_How long as he been hurting you, honey?''_

_Quinn mewled as she shrugged with a shake of her head._

''_A long time. A _very _long time.''_

_Quinn was yet to open her eyes and Rachel swallowed hard as she tried to assimilate the information. After a second seeing tears squeezing out of the blonde's closed eyes the brunette placed a hand on the side of Quinn's face that wasn't a bruise._

''_Open your eyes.''_

''_No.''_

''_Quinn, please, open your eyes.''_

_Quinn shook her head again._

''_I can't stand to see the pity you have on your face right now.''_

_Rachel stoked away the tears with her thumb softly again._

''_I think you know the reason you came here was because I would never look at you like that. Quinn, open your eyes.''_

_Eventually Quinn did opening her eyes slowly as her lip trembled along with the rest of her. She sniffed as she looked at Rachel who looks back at her with nothing but support and strength. She takes Quinn's hands and interlocks them and squeezes it securely before holding it to her chest._

''_I will _not _let anything happen to you, okay? You can trust me. But we have to go to the hospital and call the police now.''_

_Quinn panicked immediately._

''_No! I can't! Rachel no you don't understand what he's capable of...please don't make me...''_

_The tears and the clinging started again and Rachel held the shaking weeping girl in her arms once more. Her hands motioned along her back until the stronger sobs subsided to lighter ones. _

''_You need to tell someone Quinn.''_

''_I told you.''_

''_An adult. Someone who can help us. I swear to god I'll be right by your side, okay? This thing between you and I? It's done. It's history. I will _not _let anything else happen to you. Let me help you sweetheart.''_

_Quinn looked at Rachel with that pleading desperation wanting to fully believe in everything that she was saying. She had ended up here somehow so she must have known that Rachel would help her that she could trust in her. Swallowing hard she began to nod._

''_Okay, good.''_

_Rachel managed to untangle herself from the blonde and stood up before helping Quinn back up onto her feet. She ran into the living room and came back with a blanket that she gently wrapped around the blonde because she was shivering so much. Quinn looked so small and so vulnerable and defeated. She could feel the anger literally flowing through her blood but she remained entirely supportive of the taller girl as she grabbed her Dad's car keys and began to slowly ease Quinn out of the house._

''_Where are we going?''_

_Quinn asked absently. _

''_To the only adult I trust after my Dad's.'' _


	7. Chapter 7

**Warning **

**Same warning applies as the last chapter. Another flashback is included and more explanation as to how things happened for Quinn and Rachel and stuff. Very much A/U. Brings in some characters from the show who will emerge bit by bit as this goes along.**

**Chapter Seven**

''Papἁ?''

Quinn's voice echoed slightly as she called out into the house that she had just opened the door to. Without stepping over the threshold the blonde peered in suspiciously. She did _not _want another repeat of finding her parents in a compromising position that she hadn't even known was humanly possible again. It had been 5 years ago but the experience had shaken her and Rachel to the core.

Just because they had used a very similar position not all too long ago did _not _mean that they wanted a repeat performance any time ever.

Hearing no real sound or reply coming from inside Quinn ventured to step in over the threshold. After a couple of steps she squeaked after hearing a shuffle and thump before Rachel fell into her. Quinn squealed lightly as she managed to tilt around and catch her girlfriend and right them both out before they fell. When they were stood again Quinn turned around in exasperation as she saw that Rachel had her hand firmly clasped across her eyes.

''_What _are you _doing_?''

The taller woman demanded incredulously as she sized up the cringing petite brunette shifting from foot to foot.

''I do _not _want to see them having wild monkey sex in jaw dropping positions again. I needed therapy after that, Quinn.''

Rachel practically shrieked petulantly just like the little midget diva that she always had been and often deflected back to sometimes. Quinn just scoffed and rolled her eyes at the overly dramatic brunette.

''Whatever, drama queen, you spent 3 hours being molly coddled by Brittney as you recounted 'the horror' and made her do everything you wanted. That's not therapy. That's abuse of the sweetly dim.''

The actress corrected promptly making Rachel stick out her bottom lip and stamp her foot childishly as she grunted lightly. The sight just made Quinn shake her head as she smiled before walking off.

''It's basically the same thing, I _had _to talk to someone about it I was mortified Quinn!''

Rachel frowned beneath her hand at the lack of response.

''Quinn?''

Sighing in frustration as she clenched her jaw Rachel dropped her hand to see she was alone. She did a quick scan of the vicinity to find that no one was there and huffed as she propelled herself forward to go in search of her absent lover.

As she walked through the house she followed the sound of voices and laughter toward the kitchen. It was at the far back of the house so no one would have probably heard them calling before.

''Hey, you didn't have to leave me just standing there.''

Rachel grumbled as she pouted and strode into the kitchen where Quinn was lingering quietly. She didn't turn but kept staring out of the kitchen windows out to the back garden where her family were. It was a special sight and it caused a small lump to shift into her throat. It wasn't a bad lump it was a good one because the sight she had stalled at was touching. Quinn had actually been evilly amused at the thought of leaving Rachel standing with a hand over her eyes by the door babbling to herself. And after locating her family she had intended on striding out to greet them. Only she had paused so she could watch the interaction.

Rachel was still scowling as she stopped next to her girlfriend.

''Quinn?''

''I wish I had a Dad like that.''

The blonde whispered smiling genuinely but wishfully at the same time. Rachel opened her mouth as she frowned in confusion before following Quinn's line of sight outside. She sighed in realisation before smiling lightly and placing her hand on Quinn's arm.

''You do have a Dad like that.''

It was true. Quinn knew it was true because she felt it. Will Shuester had been the Father figure to her that she had always needed and always wanted. Not just her but some of the other guys from Glee too. Finn had always looked up him like one and though he would refuse the truth Puck did too. But to Quinn he wasn't just a figure; he had managed to salvage her faith in men altogether. The boys from Glee had been great but they were just that, boys. Mr. Shue had been a man and she had been forced to distrust men until he had proven that not every man was as vile as her Father.

_Rachel drove carefully as the rain began to beat down on the car. She was only supposed to use her Dad's car in emergencies but she figured this was as big of an emergency as they got. Quinn was still pregnant so Rachel was already dreading the impact this was going to have on her unborn child. Not to mention that Quinn was most obviously in a state of shock and she was hurt. _

_What the ride did do was give the blonde time to get it out. She spoke in an eerily calm voice as she leant her head on the window listening to the sound of the rain and Rachel's breathing. Quinn told her everything in a numb distant voice and every word made Rachel's grip on the wheel tighter and her jaw clench harder._

_Eventually though they made it to the high school. The parking lot was empty except for one or two cars. Rachel hurried around to the passenger's side as she pulled up outside the doors and helped Quinn out of the car. She held her closely and protectively as they slowly made their way down the hall and to Mr. Shuester office. Quinn gripped onto Rachel's hand as the brunette knocked softly on his door._

''_Rachel. What can I do for you?''_

_He asked softly thought with the hint of surprise that he had at finding her standing in the doorway. He frowned lightly as he saw the look in her eyes as she stepped aside to reveal Quinn who was holding Rachel's hand. Right away he got that looming feeling in his stomach as he stood up slowly._

''_We need your help, Mr. Shuester.''_

_Rachel whispered sadly. _

''I know, but he's not my Father, is he? I didn't grow up like those kids are going to grow up. Feeling safe in their own beds at night.''

Quinn lamented gently. If he were her real Dad then her life would have turned out so much different.

''Quinn I believe that we have all proved that family is what you make of it. May I remind you that in a technical sense I only have one true parent in my life? A woman that answered an ad in a paper is technically the other one and she wanted nothing to do with me. But Daddy did and he didn't have to raise me. But he did because we're family. He was there when I needed him despite our lack of blood between us. You have the same thing with Will. He's not your Father but he became your Dad. That's why you call him as such and he was there when you needed him. You both chose to be family so what else is needed?''

Quinn regarded her girlfriend speculatively and Rachel rocked gently under the attention having been happy with her speech but wavered in uncertainty at the look the blonde gave her.

''You really love your speeches don't you?''

Rachel smiled gently.

''One of the reasons you love me so much.''

A perfect smile emphasised her words and Quinn laughed as she closed her eyes and shook her head. Something's never changed. Rachel had grown up in many ways but in many ways she was still that dorky kid from school.

She was perfectly right though Quinn had to admit at least that much. Her life had taken a drastic change after confessing to Rachel her biggest secret and letting the brunette guide her to their teacher's office so they could get some real help. Ever since her life had been difficult in the short term but better in the long term. Rachel had of course been a huge aspect of her life from that day on but so had Will Shuester.

It was great having him in the New York suburbs. He had moved out here 5 years ago right before his son had been born a boy that Quinn considered her brother. What had happened to her seemed to have change not just her but set off a series of changes to the people around her too especially him and Rachel. Things had changed between Miss. Pillsbury and himself and they had finally gotten their act together. Maybe it would have happened anyway but taking a hard look into the evil that could exist in the world had terrified Will enough to sort it out a lot faster than it had been going.

They had gotten married and it was nice to see them happy. They had moved out here for a couple of reasons really. One was to be closer to them which was a very nice feeling. Another had been wanting to break from Lima and Will had landed a job in New York. Emma had been able to get a job quick enough too given her experience so it had been an easy move. They had found a place in the suburbs to raise a family and they were just happy and settled. Emma's OCD had eased...not completely gone but it was so much better.

Quinn had been overjoyed at the move and even more so at having a little baby brother to fuss over and babysit. They were very close and he loved it when she came around because she let him jump all over her and they had lots of fun together. It was so sweet to watch. Quinn had never had that bond with her sister. Maybe it had been the circumstances but whatever chance they had was severed when she had chosen not to help Quinn and just left her behind like that.

Quinn had vowed that she would never ever leave Kieran behind. Him or the sibling that was due in a couple of months.

''_No! Please don't! Please don't leave me. Please.''_

_Quinn screamed and cried as she refused to let go of Rachel's hand as the nurse tried to pry them apart gently. There were a couple of medical staff there trying to convince her that she needed to let her go now so they could take her into examination but Quinn was adamantly refusing to let her go. Rachel didn't want to let go either she was crying and telling Quinn she would be okay but making no effort to let go of her hand. _

_Both she and Mr. Shuester had managed to convince her that she needed to go to the hospital and now that he knew their teacher had a duty to inform the authorities. Quinn had only agreed if they specifically Rachel would stay with her. _

''_Take her in there, please. Take Rachel in so Quinn feels safe. She's been through enough, don't you think?''_

_The Glee club coach reasoned with the staff intervening on the girls' behalf. Quinn was hysterical and clearly nothing else was going to keep her calm other than Rachel. He couldn't believe this was happening and he couldn't believe the changes in Quinn after seeing her leave the choir room not a few hours earlier. As she had waved him goodbye she had flashed him a wide smile. It broke his heart that she was so beaten and hurt now._

''_Sir, we need to examine Miss. Fabray and do a sexual assault kit...''_

_Rachel shook her head._

''_I won't get in the way I promise. I promise...please, she needs me.''_

_The brunette begged frantically. The staff looked between one another for a moment and listened to the sobs of the poor girl that they were trying to help. Eventually they nodded between themselves._

''_Okay, you can come in.''_

_Mr. Shuester sighed in relief putting his hands on his head as they started to wheel Quinn away with Rachel right by her holding her hand._

''_I'll be right here.''_

_He reminded the shorter girl who nodded as she looked at him for a moment before disappearing around the corner with Quinn. He wondered how this had happened. He wondered what kind of man could break a child like that and inflict such pain upon them especially when that child was pregnant already. It was abhorrent; it disgusted him as a man. _

_All he could do was sit there in silence with tears running down his face listening to the thunder and the rain along with the distant hospital noises. Eventually there were footsteps echoing down the hall and he sniffed as he looked around as a receptionist pointed to him. A man and a woman walked up to him and flashed their badges. _

''_Will Shuester?''_

_He stood up as he ran his hands over his face and nodded._

''_Yes.''_

''_Detective Pruitt and Jenkins. You reported a rape?''_

_He nodded numbly._

''_Yes. One of...oh god...one of my students...she uh...she's in there right now...''_

_He lurched forward for a moment before turning away from them clearing his throat as he tried to get a hold of himself. He balled his hands up and breathed deeply to ride out the heaviness in his chest. _

''_What's her name?''_

_The woman asked softly putting a hand on his shoulder. He stood up straight and looked at her thankfully._

''_Quinn. Quinn Fabray. She's being examined, her friend is there. Rachel Berry. They're both 16.''_

_The man wrote the information down as Will sat down and the woman offered him some water she got from the cooler. He accepted it shakily as the pair sat next to him._

''_Can you tell us what you know?''_

_The man eased softly. Will cleared his throat again and took a sip of the water._

''_About 4:30, maybe a little after, Rachel brought Quinn back to school to my office. All I know is that Quinn went to Rachel for help but was too scared to call the cops so they came to me. I don't know much more than that other than uh...Quinn was raped this afternoon, by her Father.''_

''_Do you know his name?''_

''_Uh...Russell, I think. Russell Fabray.'' _

_The cops talked to him some more about the circumstances and Quinn's circumstances. He told them of her pregnancy and that both girls were friends in the Glee club. They discussed some details with him about what would happen asked if Quinn and Rachel had somewhere to stay wanted to find out their parents' information too. He knew Rachel's Dad's were on a weekend retreat and explained that Quinn hadn't been living at home but he would gladly make sure that they were looked after. _

_He vowed right then and there that he would take care of them both. He vowed right there that he would step up for Quinn and show her what a real man a real adult was supposed to be like._

The blonde looked down as Rachel's hand interlocked with her own and squeezed supportively. Hazel eyes moved up to lock into dark chocolate one's and she took heart in the wide eyed look that Rachel gave her. That unyielding sweetness that even in her most selfish moment in school had been there in her eyes. She squeezed her hand back and nodded before moving and led the way outside into the garden.

''S'up Papἁ Shuester!''

Quinn called across the air as she laughed at the sight of one grown man and one tiny little boy rolling around on the grass together. Both said boys' heads popped up at the unexpected voice and grinned as they saw the two girls approaching.

It had become somewhat of a thing for Quinn to call Will the affectionate name of Papἁ. At first it had been in playful teasing a way for Quinn to express her gratitude without putting herself entirely out there. It had been like a nickname. Only Quinn called him that and she had chosen the Spanish term for Father because of course he was the Spanish teacher and she loved the language. It had been too hard for her to call anyone Dad after what happened but after time had passed that's how she had started looking at him. He could have been a big brotherly figure but he had started to act more like a Dad. Hence he had become Papἁ Shuester.

''S'up Mi'ja Q?''

It was a rhetorical question from them both and more of a standard greeting. Rachel and Emma had both pointed out that they were nerds but they made no effort to hide that they really thought it was sweet. No one was going to interfere or question the bond that they shared.

''_Quinn_!''

Four year hyper kid Kieran screeched as he abandoned playing with his Dad to go running across the grass and practically did a flying leap at Quinn. She laughed and managed to catch him and gave him a big hug as he squeezed her with all his might.

''Jeez Kieran you get bigger every time I see you. Keep growing like that and you'll be taller than Rachel before you're 5!''

It never failed to amaze Quinn just how fast a kid could grow. She had only seen him last week when her parents had asked her to babysit him for an afternoon when they went to a couple of Dr appointment's. Quinn had taken him for the weekend and they had had a blast despite her going all protective as she had been followed by some nosy paparazzi who she had nearly threatened severely in order to keep her little brother's face off of the newspaper. Surprisingly enough they had. Kieran was cute but she didn't want his four year old little face spread everywhere just because he had a famous sister.

''I resent that.''

Rachel grumbled without too much offense in her voice. It wasn't like she had never been teased about her short stature before she was pretty used to it.

''Why because it's not that far off the truth?''

''Yes.''

Quinn laughed as she shook her head feeling the urge to lean over and kiss her grumpy girlfriend on the head but Kieran beat her to the punch as he leant across in her arms to wrap his arms around Rachel's neck and give her a kiss.

''I won't get bigger than you promise!''

He declared before sitting back up in Quinn's arms seemingly very content with being carried around by her. He was so affectionate and sweet and she loved him to tiny little pieces. She didn't care about the technicalities this kid was her brother and whatever came out of Emma next would be her kid sibling too. Rachel was right if it felt like family then what else was needed? Kieran didn't know any better he was four and all he knew was that his big sister was cool and he loved it when she was around or he could go spend time with her doing cool stuff.

He didn't really get the history of her life and he lived in an ignorance that she hoped he could keep for a lot longer than she had. He didn't really get her lifestyle either he just loved her for who she was and go to roll around with her and jump all over her.

''This is a nice surprise girls, we didn't know you were coming by.''

Emma smiled warmly from her seat at the outdoor table with her feet propped up on another chair. At 7 months pregnant Emma was kind of huge but in a radiant way.

''It was a spur of the moment decision. We have a day off together so the opportunity was too good to pass up.''

Rachel answered as she gave Will a quick hello kiss after he had greeted Quinn. She then pranced over to Emma who she was much more interested in to lean down and give her a kiss too before she spread her hands along her ridiculously large belly.

''Tell me any news I missed during my two weeks away. Will you tell us what you're having yet? You do actually know don't you?''

The brunette demanded enthusiastically before squealing lightly as she felt a kick under her hands. It always amazed her that there was something in there doing that. When Quinn was pregnant she had done the same thing. It had actually helped the blonde sometimes when she had become despondent. Rachel's way in would be to mention the baby or place her hands on the bump. She would end up getting Quinn to talk about the little girl inside of her and her mood would lighten a little despite the fact she had always known that she was going to give the baby up.

''Yes we do and no, we're not telling until he or she arrives.''

Rachel grumbled at Emma's amused answer before pulling herself up and walking around to the other side of the table to sit next to Quinn who had also become Kieran's human chair. Will lifted his wife's feet and sat down before placing them back down across his knee.

''There's not much that you missed either. Everything is going well and the scans are all normal. It's just a matter of time now.''

Will answered Rachel's other question knowing that she wanted to know that too. He was as excited as he had been waiting for Kieran to be born and quite honestly the gender of his kids didn't really matter to him. It was one of the reasons that they were keeping it a secret that and to keep everyone on their toes.

''My friend told-ed me that his baby bro'ver smells and cries too much.''

Kieran voiced as he played with one of his actions hero's on the table still secure in Quinn's arms but clearly his tone pointed out that he was still not happy about this invasion of another child.

''I got news for you buddy, _you _smelt and cried too much when you were a baby. Actually you still smell!''

Quinn teased him gently as she bounced her knees to shake him up therefore making him laugh as he sat back into her. She tickled his sides lightly as she watched his face scrunch up in laughter. It was a working adjustment that he was going through with this whole thing. He was sort of excited but sort of not.

''_You _smell!''

He corrected through his giggles. That just made her tickle him harder.

''I'm sorry what, I didn't quite catch that stinky.''

She laughed and kissed him before ruffling his shaggy fair hair up and let him catch his breath for a minute.

''Besides Kieran, you get to be a big brother and that's pretty cool. You can look after your brother and sister like Quinn looks after you. Wouldn't you like that?''

Rachel pointed out gently. He looked at her as he huffed thoughtfully scrunching up his face as he did which was kind of an adorable sight. He looked at Quinn for a moment who looked back at him with a shrug and an expression that was most definitely encouraging.

'''Spose so.''

He finally relented but still wasn't overly convinced. The four adults surrounding him just laughed lightly but it was Emma that looked across the table speculatively. Her eyes narrowed slightly as Quinn looked at Rachel with a loving smile across her face. Emma didn't think they had realised that their hands hand joined just under the table and she had also seen that they had been holding hands as they had come out of the house.

It wasn't overly unusual they were both touchy feely girls. They liked closeness and Rachel had always been happy to give any form of contact that Quinn had needed. But there was just something different she could tell. It wasn't in the realm of friendship the way their eyes connected and the air around them was very different.

The redhead looked at her husband for a moment but she could tell he was oblivious to it.

''So Rachel, how did your time in Los Angeles go?''

''Oh it was very productive. Cutting the album went smoothly and there were a couple of press junkets, a talk show appearance and I did a couple of songs at a live lounge. It was busy but very productive.''

Rachel failed to mention her getting lost more than once and her little meltdown because compared to New York Los Angeles was like another world. She very much liked it there she really did but when you got used to the beat of a city like New York it was just hard to negotiate something entirely different like LA.

''That's wonderful, and Quinn how are things at work?''

Quinn barely looked up from playing thumb war with Kieran.

''It's great. Been working flat out but I think I like it more that way strangely enough.''

It was true that Quinn was a work junkie she loved all the weird and wonderful hours and she didn't care if they were in the middle of a freezing cold New York City at 3am doing scenes and stunts. She loved the chaos to be quite honest.

''Uh hu and how long have you two been going out?''

''3 months...''

Quinn's answer had been as distracted as her last and Rachel snapped her head to look at her at the realisation that she had been caught out. The blonde looked up with that same realisation as her mouth hung open a little.

''Wait, _what_?''

Will squeaked in surprise. Emma smirked smugly at the caught out pair. Quinn had gone a little red but she cleared her throat before lifting her hand up and Rachel's with it.

''We uh...we're dating. We've been seeing each other for 3 months and it's, well it's pretty serious.''

The blonde saw no reason to try and hide it now that they were busted. They had had this discussion and were on the same page so she knew Rachel was fine about it too. Maybe she had come with the intention of telling them or maybe she hadn't. Quinn thought maybe she had because as much as she loved the many people in her life she wanted them to know before anyone else. She wanted to share it with them like any kid would when they found someone they loved.

Emma had always treated her so well and so kindly. Quinn had seen her be there to support Will supporting her and they had just moulded themselves into this self made little family unit. The redhead had always had a way of getting things out of her and she had been great to talk to. It wasn't a surprise to Quinn that she had put two and two together and managed the not so difficult take of getting them to admit it.

''How serious?''

The stunned man asked almost breathless with his shock as he stared at them wide eyed with his mouth still open and a confused frown across his face. Colour him naive but he had never expected this turn of events. Quinn and Rachel had always been close but he had just never thought they could cross the border to dating. He had a Father's love for Quinn in his chest and it made him protective a lot. Some of Quinn's chosen girlfriends had been nice but there were more than a few he hadn't been able to stand. Rachel had always voiced her true opinions about them too.

He saw the seriousness behind Quinn's eyes at the confession and he could tell that she felt differently for Rachel than she had for anyone she had dared to introduce to them before. She was also a little afraid of his reaction because she wanted him to approve like any daughter would.

''I love her, Papἁ. I'm _in _love with her and she's in love with me.''

Rachel and Emma shared worried glances between one another as they let Quinn and Will stare at one another like there was no one else around.

''Wow...''

Will ran a hand down his face as he stared at the table for a moment with thoughts racing through his head.

''Please say something.''

Quinn stared at him but she clutched Rachel's hand tightly. It brought back the bad memories of what had happened upon Finn declaring in song to her parents that she was pregnant. Back then she had been in so much pain and she had begged Finn not to do it but he didn't understand what was going to happen to her when he did. And despite knowing that things with her Father were wrong and twisted she still tried to get his approval. She had once thought if she were perfect enough he would stop punishing her.

It wasn't the same fear now she wasn't scared _of _Will she was scared about his opinion. She wanted him to understand how happy Rachel made her and how much they had to share. She wanted him to see how good they were for one another and that they had something special. And right now his face was all shocked and uncomfortable as though he didn't understand how this could happen in the first place.

''Quinn I...I just don't get this...''

The actress stood up and carefully deposited Kieran onto Rachel's lap before she practically ran back into the house before anyone could do or say anything to stop her.

''Quinn...''

Rachel started shuffling to get up whilst trying to keep hold of Kieran who was stood on her and had wrapped his arms around her neck so he didn't wobble off of her but Will held up his hand in silent instruction for her to stay as he got up himself and went after her.

''I don't understand what just happened. We thought telling you guys would be the easiest.''

Rachel blinked in her own surprise. God she knew that she wasn't perfect and that she had her tendencies to be selfish sometimes and become obsessed with things but she was a good person. She was honest at least and she was open and forgiving and loyal. Rachel had been the one Quinn had turned to because of those things and she had done the right thing by using her voice to stop the pain in the blonde's life. Was she suddenly not good enough for her in Will's eyes? Was he comfortable with their best friendship but not with them being together? She didn't understand.

He loved Quinn and he wanted her to be happy. He had told her that as long as she was loved and she was treated well and was happy then he would welcome anyone who could do that for her. Well Rachel was so why wasn't this welcomed?

''I think its more shock than disapproval, Rachel.''

Emma tried to ease as she inwardly cringed at her husband's reaction. He could be such a man sometimes.

''It felt like disapproval to me. I have done _everything _to prove my worth for Quinn and although I'll always believe that she's too good for me I'm prepared to spend the rest of my life justifying her love and trust for me. That's how much I love her. We can't explain it either but it's there and it's working. I mean it's _really _working.''

Emma sighed sadly as she saw the distraught in Rachel's eyes and watched as she practically sagged in her seat. Her words were determined and passionate but everything else looked like she had just been knocked on her ass. Emma knew that Rachel looked up to Will too and she too sought his seal of approval on this. Maybe in some ways more than Quinn they wanted it for different reasons.

For Rachel it was feeling like she was that awkward kid again that had been perpetually overlooked because of her outward ambition. Rachel had never done anything intentionally bad she had been trying to be seen for more reasons than her talent and she hadn't been for a long time. She had been made to feel like the only thing she had to offer was her voice so she had obsessively focused on that. But in one way or another it had been her that had led those group of mismatched misfits even if she had never been thanked for it. She had wanted to be good enough for them, and she had wanted to be good enough for him to really notice.

Emma saw the brunt of that past pain settle into her eyes as she tried to bite it back and the shun that she thought had just happened.

''Rachel you are _such _a great girl, you don't have to feel like you keep having to prove that to anyone. You've never faltered in your devotion to Quinn that isn't even a question.''

Rachel sniffed as she stared at the table trying to keep her tears in.

''Then what is it? Does he think someone else can love her better? Should we go back to her running through disposable girlfriends that didn't understand her? A model after actress after dancer after writer? Or should we go so far back so that she feels like the only way to feel good about herself is to sleep with any interested party?''

What she would have said if Kieran wasn't still on her lap was that Quinn had ended up linking self esteem to putting out so she assumed that the only way to get someone to like her was through sex. It's how she had let Puck get into her pants to get her pregnant. He had given her advanced attention that wasn't bumbling and boyish like Finn he had shown her that he _wanted _her. And if that hadn't been enough then the flip side of the complex was that her Father had smashed her worth into little tiny shards so she just thought that it didn't matter anyway because she was already a slut.

Breaking that cycle of thought in her head had been damn hard work. And though it had eventually been righted Quinn had still had a problem with really committing to one particular girl. She had tried but it always came back down to that not being able to give herself wholly due to her trust issues. She had been in love and she had had some very lovely girlfriends that cared deeply for her but in the end they had been disposable too because she couldn't take the last step. Is that what Will wanted her to go through again? Having something that wasn't really real?

''Rachel stop it. You know that's not what any of us want. He loves her and he loves you. It's just a surprise for him, he's a man and he's kind of a stupid one when it comes to these things. He just needs to understand how you went from being best friends to girlfriends.''

Rachel huffed at being told off but remained silent as she got her lecture and explanation.

''We thought it would be evident. Expected, even.''

''It was evident to me, I spotted it right away didn't I? And I am _very _happy for you both. You've always been each other's love, so it isn't so unexpected that it would develop into the real thing. To me you've always been the girl that loved Quinn with all her heart enough to one day fall _in_ love with her, to Will you've always been the girl that took care of her as though you were sisters.''

Rachel calmed a little at the explanation. She supposed it was a valid argument. It was somewhat weird to think of Quinn like a sister because that was just wrong but she could understand how someone would interoperate their previous behaviour as such. Perhaps it was due to the length of time that they had both been out and dating but had never seen one another in that way. Perhaps if this had happened at Julliard no one would have batted an eyelid.

''You really think that's all that was?''

''I do. I think when he looks into her eyes and she tells him that you make her happy and that she loves you with all her heart, he'll understand.''

The brunette smiled thankfully as she sniffed and earned herself a squeezing hug from Kieran as he held onto her.

''Don't cry Rachel I dun like it when you's sad.''

Rachel smiled as she looked at him and brushed some of his hair away from his face.

''Kieran sweetheart, do you understand what's going on with Rachel and Quinn?''

Emma asked as Rachel planted a big kiss on his face and helped him sit on her knee rather than stand on it. He shook his head as he looked across at his Mother before looking up at Rachel again. The two began to explain what had changed between them so the boy could understand what was going on and what his sister and Rachel had together.

_It was about a half hour later that he jumped out of his seat as a exhausted looking Rachel walked around the corner with her hands wrapped around herself and tear marks along her face._

''_She's sleeping.''_

_The brunette whispered looking up at Mr. Shue as he put a hand on her shoulder and gave her a squeeze. _

''_How was it?''_

''_Awful. But the baby seems okay.''_

''_Rachel, the police are here, can you answer a few questions for them?''_

_Rachel looked behind him and nodded slowly. He moved aside so she could face them properly._

''_Did Quinn tell you anything about what happened, Rachel?''_

_The woman asked delicately. Rachel nodded numbly again._

''_She told me everything. He cornered her in town and dragged her into an alley. He um...he hit her a few times and he...he...''_

''_It's okay.''_

_Rachel wipes some tears out of her face._

''_He just left her there when he was done. Like she was nothing. But it wasn't just this once, he started going into her room at night when she was 7 and he hasn't stopped. Not even after he threw her out for petting pregnant.'' _

_There was silence in the hallway for a second before Rachel spun around and threw up in the trashcan. _

_Mr. Shuester looked down as he felt the anger burning through him as the lady Detective rubbed Rachel's back and whispered to her quietly. He had forgotten who was who between her and her partner everything was such a blur. _

_As Rachel stood upright again there was a loud slam that made them all jump and turn around to see that he had pounded the wall with his fist. He just looked at it against the wall still before hearing a squeak from Rachel. As he turned to look at her to see her face he moved walking up to her and pulling her into a hug._

''_It's okay, I'm sorry. Everything will be okay.''_

_It was another hour before Quinn started to come around. Now that she had been treated the staff had admitted her into her own hospital room and let both Rachel and Mr. Shuester stay with her. The Detective's had gone to find Russell Fabray after speaking with the Dr. and taking the rape kit with them to have it analysed. They had been interested in talking to Quinn's Mother and sister too to try and get to the bottom of this family horror story._

''_Rachel?''_

_Rachel looked up quickly at the sleepy and strangled voice of her friend from her seat next to the bed. She had been holding onto Quinn's hand occasionally using her other to stroke through her hair especially when Quinn had moaned or shifted in her sleep._

''_I'm here sweetheart, right here.''_

_Quinn looked at her for a long moment before she cleared her throat and frowned a little._

''_Do you want some water?''_

_Rachel asked picking up on the signs that Quinn's throat was dry. The blonde nodded and immediately Rachel poured out some water from the jug nearby as Quinn shifted a little in the hospital bed and rolled onto her back._

''_Hey Mr. Shue.''_

''_Hey Quinn.''_

_The two smiled at one another softly both with a sadness in their eyes. The teacher sat in the corner of the room and had been adamant to watch over the girls. They had turned to him for help and he would provide it the best he could._

_Rachel gave Quinn the water and sat back down as the cheerleader took sips of it her hand absently running over her baby bump. Then suddenly as if it all hit her again she looked at the brunette fearfully. _

''_Is my baby okay?''_

''_Yes, the baby is fine. I watched them do an ultrasound myself and she's perfectly fine.''_

_By that time Quinn had passed out either from the exhaustion the trauma or the pain. Either way Rachel had still stood there gripping her hand and whispering to her as she watched the monitor as the nurse had ran the gadget over Quinn's belly. She had been kind enough to tell Rachel what everything meant and point things out on the monitor as they listened to the strong heartbeat. The brunette had been overwhelmingly relieved because if anything had happened to that baby she thought it would be the last straw for her friend._

''_And you'll be okay too Quinn, I'm going to make sure of that.''_

_Mr. Shue promised from his corner._


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N - I have all these ideas popping up in my head for other fics too so sorry for the delay! I'm wide open for suggestions about what direction to take this in for our two lovely ladies I have some chapters written but I'd love to hear any ideas out there or any particular prompts to see if I can weave in. :)**

**Warning - 2 more flashbacks mainly with Rachel and Will Shuester**

**xxx**

Inside the house there was a very different explanation process underway after Will had finally caught up to Quinn in the living room.

''I thought you wanted me to be happy.''

Quinn sat on one end of the comfy three-seat couch as Will sat on the other end both slightly inclined toward the other. But whereas Will looked at her Quinn had leant herself forward with her elbows on her knees so she hunched over slightly and looked down at the floor as her fingers fidgeted with one another.

''I do, Quinn.''

''Then I don't get it. You were there for me when I got pregnant, you were there for me when I was abused, you were there for me when I woke up screaming in the middle of the night and when I gave Beth up for adoption. You took me into your home and you made me yours. I've come to you when I've ended one relationship after another. And all that pain you've seen me through...I just thought you would be happy that the very thing I've been searching for I found in my best friend.''

Will sighed speculatively as she spoke but never looked up at him.

''I'm worried that you're mistaking your love as friends for something more because you want it so much. That's all. You know I love Rachel and I want you both to be happy, but at the same time I want to make sure that no wires have been crossed either. She's been there for you so long that you could have mistaken...''

''Stop it. Stop talking about it as though it's a mistake. Do you not think that we were worried about the same thing? Do you not think that we specifically hid this to make sure it was real before we breathed a word about it? _I'm _your daughter Papἁ _not _Rachel she's never been a sister to me.

I can't explain to you what changed but it did and it's made me happier than I've ever been. It's made _her _happier than she's ever been. Maybe we've loved each other all along, I don't know. Maybe we weren't ready. Or maybe we just had to grow up enough to realise what it is that we have. Either way, we recognised it and we let it happen. I'm not so desperate that I've convinced myself that I'm in love with my best friend, I'm just in love with her.

Every time I look at her I feel my breath hitch. When she laughs I feel like I'm floating. When she looks at me I feel known, and when she touches me I feel clean, I feel adored. She tells me I'm beautiful and because it's her looking at me I believe it. She respects me, and she makes me feel like I'm finally worthy of being loved.

Please Papἁ; _please _understand that I have never felt for anyone else like I feel for her. I just...I love her. God she's annoying and incessant and _such _a dork and is a _tiny_ person, but she's _my_ annoying incessant tiny dork. It's as real as it gets, I want to be with her for the rest of my life.''

By the time that Quinn stopped talking she realised that she was crying and she was putting her heart and soul into her words. She also realised that somehow they had managed to gravitate into the middle of the sofa so when she looked at him pleadingly it only had to lean into her a little to draw her into a hug. And nothing had relieved her quite as much as she clung onto him and knowing that she yet again had his support.

_The kitchen was eerily quiet despite the fact that two people were currently occupying it. It had been a long night and the hospital had convinced Quinn to remain there for observation just in case anything happened with the pregnancy. They had treated her injuries and now it was just a case of making sure she was strong enough to be able to go home._

_The girl was exhausted. After what had actually happened to her after school there was the exhaustion that had hit her full force that had started when she was 7. Just knowing that it would stop now and just realising that she could relax and not constantly worry that he would do something else to her made her see how heavy the burden had actually been. It had knocked her out._

_Rachel had remained dutifully by her side. Her Dad's were still coming home but there had been a problem with their flight so they had gotten stuck during an overlay so Mr. Shuester had spoken to them and promised them that he would stay with Rachel and he had never had an intention to leave Quinn alone. Which was good because Rachel wasn't about to leave the blonde's side either._

_Now though in the stark brightness of the morning they had taken a tired and sore cheerleader home after Mr. Shuester had managed to organise her release to him. Rachel didn't know how he had managed to work it out but he had and she was grateful for it. They had gotten a despondent Quinn to the apartment and he had made coffee as the tiny brunette had gone into the guest bedroom with Quinn to help her shower and change. Rachel had stayed with her until Quinn was fast asleep before silently exiting the room._

_Now she and her teacher were sat at his kitchen table at opposite sides and facing one another. She stared at his hand for a moment which was bandaged up a little given that he had bust up his knuckles after hitting that wall. She thought about what had transpired at the hospital when the police had dragged an angry Russell Fabray in to be patched up after he 'fell'. Meaning that they had found out what he had done and kicked the living crap out of him. Rachel couldn't say that it hadn't felt good to see him beaten up. Or watched as the Dr at the admit desk go along with it. _

_She was definitely not sorry that she had slapped him. It was a small hospital and there had been no way they could have sneaked him by with all the shouting he had been doing. Everyone had just been thankful that Quinn had been out like a light._

''_Is your drink okay?''_

_Mr. Shuester asked gently as he saw the brunette wince a little as she swallowed a sip of the coffee he had poured out for her. She had promised him faithfully that her Dad's let her drink it just so long as she didn't drink too much a day. She was hyper enough after all._

''_Yeah...I just...I'm not used to drinking it black. It's good though.''_

_The teacher frowned in confusion._

''_Oh. I thought you said no milk.''_

''_I'm a vegan, Mr. Shue. I took the liberty to presume that you don't have soya milk.''_

_Rachel didn't know if he knew and had forgotten or whether he had never known that about her. But it didn't matter because she never expected anyone to comply to her dietary choices because they were just hers. Why on earth would he have a milk substitute when he drank milk? It just meant that she was taking her coffee black today. _

''_I don't, sorry.''_

''_It's okay.''_

_There was a pause that wasn't entirely comfortable but wasn't uncomfortable either. The discomfort arose from the situation rather than the company. Rachel wasn't at all phased at being sat in her teacher's apartment along with him. She had been here before in fact. It was just the fact that she was reeling from this entire experience. _

''_Mr. Shuester, what's going to happen now?''_

_The usually confident and flamboyant girl asked in a tiny vulnerable voice. She was so scared. Actually that didn't cover how she was feeling at the moment. She was terrified for Quinn and of the impact this would have on her. They may not have been friends but Rachel had seen the glimpses of the girl that was beneath all that bravado she had sprouted. _

_What if this stole that girl away? What if she was too broken to ever be happy? What if they could never help her enough? What if she hurt herself or worse? Her entire family had just been ripped away from here whether it was for the best or not and that was a huge thing to have happen in a 16 year olds life. Where did she go? Who took care of her now? Not to mention what would happen to the baby she was carrying. It was all too much._

''_Well, they've arrested her Father and the police said her Mom was in for questioning. I'm not sure about her sister.''_

''_It's a mess. Her world has fallen apart.''_

_Dark chocolate eyes began to burn a hole into the kitchen table as she began to question herself. Quinn had begged her not to tell and she had convinced her to. Now the world was upside down. Was that her fault?_

''_You did the right thing Rachel. You were really great. Have you called your Dad's again?''_

''_Yeah. They're _so_ worried. They're worried about me even though they know I'm safe.''_

_Not that Rachel had ever not loved her Dad's but she really had begun to realise just how thankful she was to them for everything they did for her and gave her. They were so great, they were fantastic parents and she had never once felt unsafe with them. They had been there for her in every respect and it had never occurred to her that it could be any other way. All those times she had gotten into stupid fights with Quinn over nothing when she could have been realising that she needed help? It got to her. She could tell that it got to Mr. Shuester too. That he hadn't seen it before. But Quinn was one hell of an actress._

''_They love you, they want to be here for you.''_

''_I'm not the one that got hurt.''_

_The aspiring singer wiped a couple of tears that had been threatening to fall out of her eyes._

''_Yes you did. You all get hurt when you realise that the people you're supposed to depend on can hurt you the most.''_

''_Well that faith can get restored knowing there will always be ones you can depend on. Thank you so much Mr. Shuester.''_

_Will smiled lightly though not all of it reached his eyes. He was grateful for the meaningful compliment but he wasn't in a position to really enjoy what it meant. He was relieved more than anything that Rachel had felt that way to get Quinn to go with her to tell him. And just as he knew Rachel was hurting right now as much as he knew that Quinn's friends would hurt too so was he._

_He got to see these kids be themselves every day. They had started out as a bunch of oddballs that were always at each other's throats...well, sometimes they still were. But they pulled together when it counted and they were friends. They were a team. And he got to see them relax and be their true selves. He had got to see Quinn's softer side come out in Glee when it couldn't in the halls as a Cheerio. He got to see her dazzling smile and infectious laugh and he got to see that light in her eyes when she sung or danced. She was a beautiful girl and it hurt him to know someone had set out to break her._

_Frankly it disgusted him. He wanted to take it away. He wanted to snap his fingers and make her world better. Hell he would have taken the pain himself if he could and he felt helpless because all he could do was sit by and watch her struggle with everything that had happened to her._

''_I'm just glad you trusted me that much.''_

''_I do. We both do. After my Dad's you're the most significant adult in my life.''_

_Again he smiled and was indeed genuinely touched by Rachel's openness. It was nice to hear that despite their head butting at Glee that Rachel still trusted him so much. Then again he knew that their bickering and her constant questioning of his choices wasn't out of malice or Rachel thinking he didn't like her, she was just trying to get the best possible outcome for the group. _

_He looked down to the papers stretched out in front of him and continued to fill in the check boxes._

''_What're those?''_

_The teenager wondered curiously._

''_These...these are my applications for both temporary and permanent custody of Quinn.''_

_He confessed softly as he glanced across them before looking up to her but her attention had been switched to staring at the papers. _

''_Like adoption?''_

''_No, I'm applying for legal guardianship. She's 16, she has no grounds to apply for emancipation she can't take care of herself. Which means she could be sent to a group home.''_

_Her eyes snapped up to his upon hearing that with a whiplash of alarm evident across her face._

''_Oh my god...''_

_He held up his hand to cut her off as he shook his head and showed his determination to prevent anything like that from happening. That's why he had started on this immediately. He had talked to some people at the hospital as well as the Detective's and someone from child services to get the advice he needed. He had gotten the papers sent to the hospital and he was absolutely determined to never have Quinn spend one single night at any children's home or foster care. That was the last thing she needed._

''_I'll do everything I can to stop that from happening.''_

''_Do you really think they would let you look after her?''_

''_I have the extra room; I have a good job and some savings. I can make sure she gets everything she needs, get her to school and back. I have insurance so I can make sure she gets the help she needs. It looks positive. To be honest the system is so bogged down and there are so many kids in need of healthy homes these days that it could be the best possible solution to deal with this by letting me take her.''_

_He noted sadly. There would be no real point drawing Quinn into a world like that unless they absolutely had to like if there was no one stepping up to help her and take her in. Will was positive that someone would from Lima even Rachel's Dad would offer, but he wanted to do this for her._

''_That would be great. We're her family now.''_

_Rachel mused sincerely. Will could not echo that sentiment enough. Whether it was the protective teacher in him or his Fatherly instincts he had never been so certain or intent on doing something in his life._

''_Yes we are.''_

''Who could possibly argue that sense of romanticism Mi'ja?''

Quinn giggled into his shoulder as he dryly mocked her choice of words to express what she felt for Rachel. Some things just didn't change.

''She loves the abuse.''

The blonde quipped gently thinking about all the times that she had called Rachel a short ass or something along those lines. She would drop her jaw and pretend to be offended but the brunette knew that the only thing Quinn held for her was affection.

Will pulled back and smiled at Quinn who sniffed and wiped her eyes quickly as she smirked shyly. He watched her intently and began to see the differences in her eyes. The wealth of feeling behind them and the radiant sparkle that had always been there but was now magnified to an alarming degree. If that sparkle was there because of Rachel then who was he to really stand in the way? They were grown up women and they knew their own minds. Even in high school they had had no problem with voicing their own feelings and opinions.

''I'm sorry I scared you with my reaction. I didn't mean to make you feel like I wasn't happy for you I just wanted to understand how this happened.''

Quinn held a shrug as she pulled a face for a moment.

''Couldn't tell you exactly _how _it happened, I just looked at her one day and things were...different. To be honest we've stopped questioning it now. We just want to be together, that's all we know.''

''And you're definitely happy?''

Quinn smiled softly but with such a sincerity that it seemed to warm his chest.

''She makes me whole, Papἁ.''

The emotional blonde whispered as she looked at him for a second before biting her lip and looking down at her anxious hands before looking at him again. That's the only thing she could really tell him to prove to him that what she had with Rachel was real. And it was the truth. Being with Rachel made her feel whole and that was a feeling she had never truly had before.

It was her end run and she had nothing left she could say in way to convince anyone of anything. It would have broken her heart not to get his or Emma's approval but it would never have stopped her from loving Rachel. It did mean _so _much to her to get it though.

''Then Quinn, you hold onto it for dear life, okay?''

Quinn couldn't stop the beam of a smile from spreading across her face.

''I intend to.''

The two shared another hug until there was a little thud from the kitchen followed by low laughter. The familiar laughter of one little boy and one midget sized star. Will and Quinn picked themselves up from the couch and she smiled as he draped an arm across her shoulders as they walked through into the kitchen.

Rachel was currently wrestling with Kieran to get the water pistol that he had obviously squirted her with out of his hands and by the looks of things she was losing the battle. He wiggled around in her arms as they shuffled in circles and she tried to stop him from shooting her with the water again.

''Oh! Hey...I had absolutely no idea you were still in the house we are _so _sorry for disturbing you.''

Rachel apologised quickly as she caught sight of Quinn and Will watching her play with Kieran from the archway of the kitchen. Biting her lip guiltily she cleared her throat uncomfortable as she stood straight and therefore let Kieran keep his toy. She had been losing anyway and she was already very damp from his efforts to shoot her with the water. That kid was damn well strong for a 4 year old.

Cringing uncomfortably Rachel ran a hand through her hair and nudge Kieran as she nudged into her.

''Actually we were pretty much done.''

Quinn said gently trying to ease Rachel's concerns as she set her a gentle and loving look with a soft smile. She could see Rachel studying them for signs of a fall out but at seeing that Will had an arm looped around her and she had one around his waist and lent into him a little that things were hopeful.

''Oh.''

''Rachel...''

She snapped her head up as Will stepped forward.

''Yes?''

''Now that I understand what's happening I can see how happy you both are. And that's all that's really important, right?''

The brunette broke out into a wide grin.

''So you're okay with this? With us? Because I swear to god it just happened and it was perfect from the moment we saw it and I really, _really _love her. She means everything to me...despite the fact that she's a lanky giant that has a tendency to act like a teenage boy.''

Quinn huffed as she dropped her jaw and shot her girlfriend a playfully scathing glare that told Rachel that she was going to be in _so _much trouble when they got home. It was true though but it wasn't her fault that her hormones went crazy around Rachel. She couldn't help that her hands wanted to roam her body every time she was near and she fidgeted uncomfortably if she was left too long without being able to touch her. God sometimes she even felt like Finn having to picture hitting the postal officer so he didn't shoot his load in 2 seconds flat.

The blonde had taken a good fair share of cold showers the last couple of weeks. Especially when she had woken up from some rather prolifically erotic dreams about her lover and felt the overwhelming ache between her legs. Rachel Berry just wrecked havoc on her body and her mind what else could she say?

''Again with the romanticism! I guess it works for you guys. And yes Rachel, I'm perfectly okay with this.''

Will snickered and rolled his eyes at their behaviour toward one another. The little jibes and 'insults' that were nothing other than loving banter.

Rachel just beamed and Quinn took the necessary steps to walk over to her and wrap her arms around her tightly. She sighed in relief as she hugged the smaller woman just needing that touchstone because Rachel was her centre. When she felt like she had found her balance again she pulled back a little and gave the brunette a sweet and gentle kiss.

''Eeewwwwwww!''

Kieran effectively ruined their moment and promptly began to take gleeful delight in squirting Quinn in the back of her head with his water pistol. The blonde squealed and jumped back from Rachel and turned her gaze onto her little brother. He squealed with laughter and ran away into the house.

''Oh it's war.''

Quinn declared looking at Rachel for confirmation. The brunette nodded.

''Let's get him.''

_Rachel sat silently in the chair she had taken up residence in by Quinn's bedside. The blonde girl had been fighting sleep but she was so out of it that she didn't really know what was going on around her. She just kept staring at Rachel numbly and Rachel continued to hold her. Eventually though Quinn's eyes fell shut as she couldn't resist anymore. _

_Mr. Shuester was huddled into the corner of the room murmuring quietly on his cell phone. It was late and the tiny hospital was full of echoes and floating voices. Rachel frowned as she heard scuffles and shouts from somewhere down the hall. It piqued her curiosity because she could feel something in her chest. Something was so familiar about that noise._

_Glancing at Quinn to make sure she was fast asleep Rachel let go of her hand and walked out into the hallway quietly going unnoticed by Mr. Shuester because he'd had his back to her. Looking down the corridor toward the little reception area of the hospital Rachel frowned as she saw two uniformed police officers dragging one bruised and bleeding Russell Fabray toward the desk. He looked angry and was trying to shrug out of their grip but given that his hands were cuffed behind his back and he was doubled over a little it was impossible._

''_Stop your whining pervert.''_

_One of the cops jerked him hard and Rachel could tell it hurt the older man._

''_Doctor these...police officers...assaulted me.''_

_The angry man spat as he glared between the two uniformed men before pinning a look at the Doctor that had gotten up from his seat behind the desk where he had been writing on some charts. _

''_You fell.''_

_The other cop corrected smugly clearly not making much effort to hide the fact that he was lying. It was quite clear that Russell Fabray had had the shit kicked out of him._

''_Yeah, with the help of your fist.''_

_The older man spat viciously. The Doctor folded his arms and looked between the two police officers clearly not amused._

''_Is that true Officers?''_

_The older cop yanked on his prisoner again making him wince in pain._

''_This piece of crap is Russell Fabray.''_

''_Fabray?''_

_The Doctor repeated instantly making the connection. He had been by to check on Quinn after her examination by the nurses and Rachel thought he was nice. He was tender and he tried to make it easy for Quinn and backed off when she flinched when he got too close for her liking. He didn't even have to let her and Mr. Shuester stay given that visiting hours were well and truly over but he had said they could stay for as long as Quinn wanted them there._

''_The very one.''_

_Breathing in the Doctor stepped forward to inspect Russell's face before he shrugged and grunted._

''_Looks like your injuries are consistent with a fall, _Sir_.''_

_Russell snarled at the man._

''_You bastard, I ought to...''_

''_You don't want to finish that sentence creep, you don't wanna 'fall' down again.''_

_The older cop advised sternly. Rachel watched how Mr. Fabray quietened down obviously too scared to do anything but. She watched as the Doctor pointed up the corridor where the examination rooms were to the back. It meant that they had to drag that animal passed Quinn's room. Rachel looked toward it to make sure that Quinn was still asleep because her bed was just at an angle that she'd be able to peer into the corridor if she wanted. _

_As the cops and the Doctor marched the bastard up she stepped out into the middle of the corridor without even thinking. By this time Mr. Shuester had noticed and edged out of the room with a concerned expression as Rachel glared straight at the beaten man._

''_Rachel...what're you doing.''_

_Rachel ignored her teacher and her face contorted into something no one had ever seen her express ever before in her life._

''_How could you? How could you do that to her?''_

_Russell sniggered at her._

''_Get out of my face you little bitch. She deserved everything she got.''_

_Before anyone could stop her or knew what was happening a loud crack echoed off of the deserted walls of the corridor. Rachel had slapped him with all her might that was surprisingly strong. The telltale red mark began to show immediately._

_Mr. Shuester came up behind his student wearily and took hold of her shoulders to stop her from lurching forward to do anything else._

''_You're pathetic. Raping a little girl makes you feel like a real man but you didn't do so well against someone who can defend themselves, did you? You're just a sorry excuse for a human being and I hope you burn in hell you spineless coward. You're a monster.''_

_Everything that Rachel had been bottling in came seeping out of her now. Through her actions through her reddening eyes through the low and eerily emotionless save for hatred tone and the fact that her entire body was shaking. She wanted to kill him and to be honest if she had the chance to inflict more harm on him than a slap she probably would have. He had hurt her friend and he thought that was perfectly okay._

_Well it wasn't okay and it never would be okay._

''_It's okay Rachel, come on.''_

_The cops start to drag him down the corridor again as Mr. Shuester pulled her aside gently._

''_You'll rot in jail being someone's bitch and I promise you now you sick bastard that I will make sure she forgets you. You may think you've broken her but I won't fucking let you live in her head. I'll make sure she's happy. Do you hear me? She'll be happy.''_

_It was surprising that Quinn didn't actually wake up given that Rachel was screaming at the top of her lungs as she was being held back by Mr. Shuester as the object of her hatred was dragged out of sight. _

_The distraught girl turned into him and wrapped her arms around him as she sobbed into his chest her body racking with the emotion._

''_I hate him so much.''_

_She did hate him. She hated him more than she ever thought it was possible to hate another human being. And she was going to live up to her promise. Right then Rachel Berry vowed to make it her life's mission to make sure Quinn Fabray would be happy and live her life free of the demon that was her Father._


	9. Chapter 9

**Bit of a shorty again but brings in some other characters or talks about them to see what they're up to.**

**xxx**

Finn Hudson had been an oblivious moron in high school and had earned himself some well deserve slaps from the competing ladies in his life. His constant state of 'duh' had annoyed everyone and his holier than thou and self concerned attitude had rubbed people the wrong way.

What he had finally figured out was that he didn't want a woman like Quinn Fabray. Who was strong and opinionated and let's face it broken. Nor had he ended up wanting a woman like Rachel Berry. Who was equally as strong and also high strung and far too vocal. Both of them were too smart for him and to be honest he had never understood half the words that had poured out of Rachel's mouth. And when Quinn could be bothered to use the similar ones he had been just as lacking.

So he wasn't the smartest guy ever. He couldn't dance for shit. But he was still a nice guy who hadn't meant to cause so much mayhem. Things with him and Rachel had been on again off again up until mid-way through her freshman year at college. He had visited her and she had visited him and their weekend rendezvous had pretty much consisted of sex sex and more sex so they didn't have to talk.

And to be honest Rachel looked bored most of the time when they were doing it too. He had been pretty sure she had faked it a couple of times too.

Finally she had dropped him and it had made him think. He was no real athlete and he may have been the lead male singer in Glee but it wasn't enough to earn himself a ride to college. Instead he had chosen to stay in Lima and work with Burt. He had done some part time work in the garage since Burt's heart attack and it turned out he was a pretty good mechanic. So Burt had trained him at that.

Finn had been happy to stay in the little cocoon of a town after venturing out into the real world when he had visited Rachel. New York was too much for him. And so were girls like her and Quinn. Instead he had found himself a nice quiet girl in Lima. She was a year younger and she was so sweet and genuine and just as dim as Finn but in a very great way. They were perfect for one another and it hadn't taken them all that long to get married and start to produce babies.

So that was one Glee clubbers lot in life – to remain in Lima as predicted all of them would due to being losers.

''Yo...Jew-Drop...are you listening to me?''

Santana Lopez however was _not _a 'Lima Loser'. In fact Rachel was pretty sure that the Latina was _banned _from Lima unless she had urgent family business to attend to. Which worked well for the spunky ex-cheerleader because all she did was spit hate about the town they grew up in.

No Santana's fate in life was very different from that of Finn Hudson. Her family was loaded so it had never been so much of an issue of how she was going to escape Lima. Santana had decided to hit up Columbia and Rachel was pretty damn sure it was because Quinn had gotten into Julliard. In fact the Broadway star didn't know if her girlfriend knew this but Santana had been accepted in to quite a few colleges around the country. The fact that Santana had chosen the Big Apple reflected on the fact that that's where Quinn had been going.

Despite their petty shit Santana had always loved Quinn and it had torn her apart to find out what had been going on behind closed doors in her friends life. If it had been possible Santana had become much more aggressive and belligerent after finding out the news and had nearly ripped the heads off of any student that dared step foot near her blonde friend.

Anyway she had finished Columbia early out of sheer boredom and earned her degree before setting up the business that she had built from the ground up into a well renowned and busy organisation. PR suited Santana Lopez for many reasons. Being her own boss was the best thing for the entire world and she was a kick ass take no prisoners negotiator so she got things done like no other. That was why she was so successful now.

Right now the PR slammed her hand on top of her stylish desk which Rachel was sat in front of.

''_Yes_ Santana I'm listening. There is no need for you to scream at me like a banshee.''

Rachel snapped irritably. It was Quinn's fault that she was here it really was. That charming damn smile of hers and those roaming hands and heated breath on her skin from the soft whispers. Damnit. Quinn was the reason she was subjecting herself to Santana's ways.

''You were zoned out on me Super Swank.''

Rachel glared at her.

''Don't call me that.''

''Well don't earn yourself a reputation for being a whore in the sack. Although I have a little trouble believing it given you were _such _a prude in high school. Maybe I should take you out for a ride myself Berry.''

The brunette folded her arms across her chest and huffed like a child as she glowered and stuck out her lip slightly.

''You most certainly will _not _be taking me for a ride on _anything _Santana. I would kindly thank you for getting back to the issue at hand and leaving my sexual advancements out of the conversation.''

Santana just scoffed as she threw herself back in her seat and shook her head muttering to herself in Spanish about Rachel still being a prude and using far too many words. But she was gladly willing to get back to the little predicament that Rachel was currently in.

Truthfully though she loved to spar with Rachel. They got mad at one another and hurled insults but at the end of the day they were still friends. It pained Santana to say it but they were. She respected Berry for how well she had handled Quinn and when she found out from Mr. Shuester what Rachel had done coming face to face with that prick of a Fabray she had actually given her a high five. Not to mention the fact that Rachel had practically ripped some jocks balls off the day Quinn went back to school.

The little diva bitch had turned out to be kick ass.

''_People are staring.''_

_Quinn whispered as she held onto Rachel's hand tighter as they slowly walked down the hallway. It had been two weeks since she had been in school last and although she was terrified she knew that she couldn't hide forever. Rachel had picked her up from Mr. Shue's an hour ago and they had just driven around for a while until Rachel had parked up and had a 'breakfast picnic' that the brunette had made._

_Quinn swallowed hard as she felt the students that were in the hall looking at her and whispering. Everyone knew. Nothing could really happen in this town and be kept a secret. Everyone knew that Russell Fabray had now been arraigned and was awaiting trial for various counts of child abuse and sexual assault not to mention a couple of other things. The news had broken hard but this was the first time that Quinn had really seen anyone. She had seen her fellow Glee clubbers who had called by with well wishes and presents. They had been awkward around her mostly because they didn't know what to do or what to say. Neither had she._

_It was Rachel that had been powering her through this as well as Mr. Shuester who must have been exhausted with her late night episodes already._

''_Ignore them they're inconsequential. Just focus on little bits at a time, okay? And remember the system.''_

_Rachel advised softly and supportively and she glowered at a few bystanders and actually managed to look intimidating enough to cause some flinches and some people to look away. _

_Quinn swallowed and nodded again. The system. Rachel's plan to get her through the day. Quinn shared at least one class with every Gleek so when Rachel wasn't with her someone would be. They had implemented a buddy system and a 'freak out' system. If it was too much Quinn simply had to give a signal to her buddy and they would get her out of class with a no questions asked code word. _

_Upon that happening someone would get Rachel out of class and take her to Quinn. It was simple enough and had been agreed to by all the teachers._

''_Right. The let's bail the freak out of class system.''_

''_Hey, you're not a freak. What happened to you does not make you a freak and I won't have you believing it does. I'll kick your ass Fabray!''_

_Quinn actually smirked a little at that as she looked down at her little bodyguard._

''_You couldn't reach me Berry.''_

_Rachel scoffed and laughed. She was glad that the good natured threat had caused Quinn to at least smile a little and take her mind off of things if not for a few moments. That was of course until a giant wall of a football player suddenly jumped in their way. _

''_Yo Fabray, heard what happened to you. Now I know you're not the little prude maybe we could...''_

_The walking hulk was suddenly cut off as he squeaked like a little bitch. There were shocked gasps as Rachel sprang into action and the little midget of a girl grabbed the jocks crotch harshly. Her eyes turned that dangerous dark shade as she squeezed with all her might rendering him utterly useless and pathetic._

_As she continued to squeeze his manly valuables she forced him backward so his back collided with the lockers with a bang._

''_You would be well advised to retract your vile little opinion and keep your mouth shut because if you so much as breathe near Quinn Fabray again I will make sure you never _ever _see your genitals again and think of how much self pleasure you'd miss out on then you fucking twisted little shit. You talk to her, look at her funny, get too close or even talk about her I will chop your gonads off. Do you understand me fuckwad?''_

_There was a deadly promise in Rachel's voice all dark and contorted that made him gulp and nod in terror. She squeezed even harder._

''_I didn't hear you.''_

''_Y...yes Ma'am...''_

_Rachel had to admit she took pleasure in hearing the squeak of terror running through his voice as she sweated and nodded. He looked over her shoulder as someone came to stand behind her._

''_And when she's through with you jerk off she'll turn you over to me and I promise you no one will recognise your face.''_

_Rachel turned slightly to see Santana standing behind her to the right. Brittney was stood to her left too._

''_That's right.''_

_She agreed without releasing her hold._

''_Consider this a warning to every student in this school. You mess with Quinn then you mess with the Glee club.''_

_Puck shouted protectively. _

''_And the football team.''_

_Finn promised loudly._

''_And the cheerleading squad.''_

_Santana promised loudly still not looking away from the pleb still squirming in Rachel's hold._

''_And me.''_

_Everyone gasped as Sue Sylvester added her threat of protection and under her gaze the crowd started to scatter. Rachel finally let go of the jocks valuables. _

''_Get out of my sight.''_

_She whispered darkly. The boy limped away as fast as he could and Rachel sighed as she turned around to face Quinn and their friends. They had surrounded her protectively so no one could come close to her and Mercedes was cuddling her into her softly and telling her everything would be okay. The blonde wasn't crying or freaking out but she was a little jarred by what had transpired but looked touched and thankful at having her friends stick up for her like that. Rachel was relieved. _

''_That was totally cool, Berry. I didn't know you had it in you Jew-Drop but it was fucking hot. I think you have the entire school scared of you now. Extremely badass. You had Q's back chica. From this moment on, we're good.''_

''You aren't banging this dude right?''

Santana checked flippantly as she tapped on her keyboard quickly. Rachel pulled a face immediately.

''No! Are you obsessed with sex?''

''Well duh. If I'm going to deal with this shit I have to cover my bases Short Stack. Make sure no sexual harassment issues come to light. You ever fucked him or any of his people?''

Rachel sighed.

''Do I _have _to answer that? I don't see how it is at all relevant to him misrepresenting me.''

Santana drew in a breath as she pointed at her sort of friend.

''You have! Rachel Berry you fucking slut! Which one was it?''

Rachel sighed.

''I slept with his sectary okay? Are you satisfied?''

''No but I bet she was. How many times?''

''I don't know...six?''

''Where?''

''_Santana_!''

The Latina grinned mischievously.

''Keep your panties on for a change chica I'm only messing with you. Way to go on banging the help though, Berry. Hope she was worth the kicks.''

She was actually. But Rachel shook her head lightly and tried not to kill Santana or herself because this meeting was driving her nuts. The singer sank deeper into her seat as she huffed and rolled her eyes grumpily. If she weren't so damn mad at Darren she would have been doing this herself right now but it was probably better all around for her stress levels and her reputation if Santana dealt with it. At least when she went off on people like a loaded machine gun it _helped _her reputation. That was why Quinn had suggested that she go see Santana and get her to do the deed.

The Latina fell silent for a moment as she tapped on her keyboard and actually looked as though she were concentrating as she pulled out a file and flipped through it for a moment looking between it and the computer screen. She scribbled a few things down and Rachel let her head drop back onto the back of the chair as she waited.

Santana's office was spacious and clean cut. It was a smooth white with the back wall made of window that overlooked the city. There were some pictures haphazardly positioned around the office along with Santana's degree certificate and things like that. Rachel never failed to notice that the frame that sat facing the taller girl on her desk held 3 pictures in it.

The Lopez family were on the left hand side. The original Gleeks were on the right hand side. And in the middle there was a rather sweet and romantic picture of Santana and Brittney. The Latina was stood behind the ditzy blonde with her arms wrapped around her and their faces tucked in close to one another. Santana liked to act like a hard ass but everyone knew how she felt for Brittney.

The aggressive ex cheerleader hadn't left Brittney behind in Lima there would be no way on earth that she would ever have done that. She made sure that Brittney was always taken care of and she had sprung her out of Lima when she had left the town behind too. It had been there chance to really start a new life and find themselves and what they meant to one another.

Turned out what they meant to one another was a whole lot and Santana had put a ring on that girl as soon as she could.

''Where's Brittney?''

Rachel asked quietly as she had started thinking about the blonde. Brittney was a very successful dancer and seemed to always be busy either doing something on Broadway or jetting off to do music videos and she had even been on tour a couple of times. When she wasn't dancing though she liked to help out Santana in the office and Rachel knew that Brittney didn't have any dance stuff to do until next week besides to train.

''Annoying the fuck out of a restaurant that think they can railroad me.''

The Latina smirked as Rachel snickered a laugh at the thought. Brittney was a little slow sometimes but she knew how to get things done when she had been given a mission. She loved being Santana's henchman for work. God the pair of them together could actually rule the world. That was a scary thought to Rachel.

Santana leant forward and pressed one of the buttons on the base of her desk phone.

''Yeah get Daniel...''

''Darren.''

''_Darren_ whatever-his-name-is on the phone _right now _regarding Rachel Berry.''

Santana didn't wait for a response from one of the handful of assistants as she pressed the button again to cut off the intercom as Rachel blinked at her.

''What?''

She huffed with a shrug.

''How do they even know who you're asking for, Santana?''

The Latina shrugged.

''It's their job to know. Don't stress how I train my staff okay Berry. You want this shit sorted out so I'm sorting it out.''

Despite the fact that Santana seemed to be very flippant about her job Rachel did actually know that she was all over every single detail. It was why Quinn trusted her with her career. The blonde had never been interested in having an army of people around her. All she wanted to do was act. Santana was in charge of the things that went on around Quinn and it worked because she knew her so well that she didn't even need to think about what she would want.

The phone began to ring and the taller woman snapped it up quickly.

''Put him through.''

There was a brief pause as the call was transferred for her.

''Yo Darren its Santana Lopez. Does there happen to be a dude in your office that looks like he could beat down Iron Man? Yeah? Good. Give him _every _file to do with Rachel Berry because she's firing your sorry ass via me and if you _don't _hand everything over Captain America over there will break your arms. Got it?''

Santana slammed down the phone feeling very happy with herself and smirked lightly as she looked across at Rachel who was starring at her with her jaw practically on the floor.

''Oh please bitch I rock my shit. I had my guy on the road the moment you sat your fine ass down in that chair. You don't think a weasel like Darren the date rapist would give up your files without a little intimidation to grease the proceedings did you?''

Rachel was gobsmacked. Okay so she was beyond gobsmacked. She knew Santana was good but she didn't know that she was _that _good. Maybe that was what made her such a shark. People underestimating her because she was foul mouthed and sex orientated and downright offensive not to mention she was a gorgeous woman with a hell of a body on her. It would be easy to mistake all of that combined with youth as something that could be railroaded. It would be easy for people to assume she would make mistakes because she didn't appear to be listening or actually care. But she did.

No wonder Quinn left her career in the Latina's hands. Now she saw why the blonde had suggested it. Now that Rachel was finally in the market to find new and improved representation Quinn had probably wanted Rachel to see for herself what Santana was made of.

''Represent me.''

''No.''

''_Why_?''

''You're a pain in the ass and if you're my client I _definitely _can't tap it.''

Rachel scoffed.

''Oh trust me when I say that my being your client will not be the reason that you don't get to what you so crassly term 'tap' my ass.''

Santana sighed as she nodded her head.

''You have a point I do happen to be married.''

She was goading her Rachel could tell.

''You're insufferable Lopez. You know damn well that I was referring to my current relationship status which is most definitely checking the seriously off the market box.''

The feisty brunette yelled at the other woman who had a shit eating grin on her face. Technically Santana didn't know that yet because neither she nor Quinn had told the Gleeks about their relationship yet. Despite the fact that her girlfriend suspected that Santana suspected. She always seemed to know these things. But even if she didn't the Latina was smart enough to pick up the innuendo from Rachel that she was dating.

''You can't say no to me anyway Santana. I'm a Tony award winning Broadway star, a Grammy award winning solo artist _and _I've broken into TV and a little film. I'm too high profile for you to turn down.''

Rachel added smugly. Santana raised a crooked eyebrow.

''Yet here _you _are begging _me _to represent you.''

Rachel opened her mouth to rant some more but Santana held up her hand to stop her before she could start.

''Save me the headache Frodo. I'll take you on. I may regret it but I think Q would have my ass if I said no. Plus, I'm the bomb and you deserve adequate representation.''

Rachel smiled.

''Can I quote you on that?''

''Kiss my ass Tiny Tim and try not to embarrass me with your functionally retarded personality okay?''

Rachel scoffed and yet again rolled her eyes but she did lean forward and shake Santana's hand. There would be a contract to go through and make sure Santana hadn't put some weird sex clause in there or something but for now this was it and it was all that was needed.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks to all those who commented and P/M'd after the last chapter and I apologise if I haven't gotten back to you personally yet it's been a busy week! I'm really happy that those of you who are following seem to like how things are going and also thank you for some of the suggestions I'm endeavoring to incorporate into the storyline :)**

**Chapter Ten**

''Rachel!''

Rachel breathed in lightly as she turned her head to the side and smiled warmly as a tall fair haired woman just a little older than herself made her way through the seats of the empty theatre with a bag slung across her shoulder.

''Hey Gina.''

The brunette greeted softly as her friend approached her.

''Hey babe. You ready for coffee?''

She enquired inquisitively as Rachel made no move to get up. The smaller singer just sat there as she had been for almost an hour now. The theatre was dark but there were rehearsals going on and no one ever stopped her from walking into closed theatres on Broadway. Ever. She had a free access pass because she was Rachel Berry and these stages were her playground.

In actual fact she had slipped into the theatre today because she had a coffee date with Gina. They had been working together on the last show and while Rachel had decided to take a little downtime...or her version of downtime considering she went straight off to cut a CD and her two week break between then and filming a busy schedule with Quinn was interviews and events...anyway, Gina had signed straight onto another show.

Gina cleared her throat as she slipped into the seat next to her friend. They had met when Rachel had been signed up for her very first show. She had been determined and excited and she absolutely positively knew she was supposed to be there but the brunette had still been a nervous wreck. It wasn't a lead role that she had landed but it wasn't as insignificant as people started either. Rachel had started here in the middle instead of the bottom and it hadn't taken her very long at all to rise to the top. As soon as she had opened her mouth to sing Gina had known she was born for this.

''Miss it?''

The older woman enquired. Rachel looked at her with a nod.

''Every single second that I'm not on that thing I miss it. It's like a drug. I hated going to sleep because it was such a waste of time. I hated days off, I hated one night shows, hell I hated _intermission_.''

Gina laughed lightly as she nodded recognising most of what Rachel was saying. She didn't have it quite as bad as Rachel because she had actually had a life but this _was _Rachel's life. Or it had been up until recently and she couldn't help but the fact that Rachel kept saying things in the past tense.

''Sounds like you have an addiction honey.''

''I do...I did...I...I miss it so much already but...but I...''

Rachel got lost in trying to figure out what she wanted to say and looked at her friend as the woman placed a hand on her arm.

''You're allowed to do something else with your life you know? You're a kid...''

''I am _not _a kid. I am 26 years old!''

''Exactly, you're a kid. Do you know how rare it is for someone so young to come here and immediately make their mark on Broadway? To conquer some of the best leading roles? Not to mention your career in music outside of here. There is no way that you'll never find your way back here just because you're testing the waters. You're young, you're talented and you're smart kid. You've got the world at your feet, you should get out there and see what it can offer you.''

Rachel let out a shaky breath not in a bad way but a way that was more relief than anything else. It had been such a blinding ambition for Rachel that she got to Broadway that she had never truly anticipated anything else would happen for her. But it had and really she hadn't quite known how to deal with that. She knew she was talented but she had never expected to climb as high as she had so quickly. It was like everything had fallen into place for her.

It was karma Quinn had said. After getting slushied day in and day out while getting ridiculed and told she was nothing and just a loser. After everything that she had been put through in Lima Quinn said that being so successful was her karmic reward and it was justice. The blonde said she had worked so hard in high school that _not _being successful was never ever going to happen.

The star believed in her girlfriend when she said that and when she said more or less the same thing as Gina just had but Rachel guessed that she needed to hear it from someone that worked here too. She needed to hear it from someone that had the stage in their blood like Gina did too. The woman had taken her under her wing as soon as she had gotten here and they had made fast friends. In fact Gina was the first person she had told about her and Quinn. Not that she didn't want to tell anyone else she did but she and Gina were side by side night in and night out on that stage and it created a strong bond.

''Do you think I'm doing the right thing?''

The brunette asked seriously.

''I think that you were born to be a star. I think you will _always _have a place here and whenever you want to step foot on the stage again you'll have offers at your feet in the blink of an eye. I also think however, that you translate to something altogether different too. You're versatile and you're _so_ watchable. Follow your own instincts because you're not leaving Broadway just because you're trying your hand at something new. You can literally do it all. Hate your guts for it kid but you can! Most of us here can't and we only belong here.''

Rachel looked down for a moment. Despite the fact that she was surrounded by fans and people telling her things like that she was still a little unaccustomed to it. It still made her heart skip and her eyes go wide and caused her to get a little emotional. As much as she was the diva that could get her own way and could throw tantrums and demand attention she was also very much the small town girl that always felt out of her depth.

It was ironic. In the small town she had always been the diva that was too big for its shoes. Here she was the small town girl constantly trying to fill up its shoes.

''Thanks Gina. I guess I'm a little scared. I had this dream and I got it. I didn't think about anything else. And I'm comfortable here and I can pretend the world doesn't exist when I'm on that stage in the spotlight singing to the audience. I don't see anything else so it's not as scary.''

Gina lifted an eyebrow.

''Well honey, you just gotta think that behind those cameras you'll be in front of, there's just another audience. You don't have to remember the world is there either you just have to do what you're good at.''

Rachel had never thought of it like that. It reminded her of something Quinn had said once saying it was easy to film because you were around people you knew and trusted and all you did was stand there and play. The only difference was her audience had been sat in front of her and Quinn's were sat in front of the TV. So that kind of made a lot of sense.

''Quinn said something just like that.''

Gina shrugged.

''Well we're wise women! C'mon, you owe me coffee and I seriously need the kick after rehearsing my ass off. You can tell me all about how you're new epic love is going, god knows I need the vicarious romance given that the last time Alan bought me flowers I think I was your age!''

Rachel laughed at Gina's playfully derogatory claim of her husband and knew it wasn't true. Alan might have been a bit man slow about romance as most tended to be but he was better than most men. He managed to remember anniversaries and birthdays and even Valentine's Day...but Rachel guessed that she was responsible for that since she reminded him a week before every year, but that was their secret.

GGG GGG GGG

Quinn yawned as she unlocked the door to Rachel's apartment. It had been a _long _day and she was exhausted. The shoots had taken their time and there had been a couple of complications. Like a stunt going wrong which resulted in her severely sprained wrist. It hurt like hell right now but it would be fine in a couple of days but she had been forced to wear a stupid wrist bandage so support it for those couple of days.

That had been this afternoon and it was now rolling on to 2am. The actress had debated whether to go home or to come here like Rachel had requested her to do given that it was so late. Rachel's messages had died off around midnight when she had presumably fallen asleep. Quinn really didn't want to disturb her because she had just known they were going to wrap up late but Rachel was insistent and she had pointed out that when her Broadway run was ending and they were together she used to turn up in the wee hours too.

The girl had made her argument well and Quinn was a sucker for those big brown eyes. Hence she was now creeping into the apartment trying to be as quiet as possible as she shut the door and locked it back up again.

Rachel's apartment was situated in the heart of the Theatre District which had surprised no one whatsoever when she had declared that she was moving out of the box she had been renting when she had been stable enough to get a nicer place. From college she and Quinn had both moved out on mutual understanding that they needed to have their separate space to do their own thing and if they hated it they would move back in together.

Upon both of them becoming successful they had both been in a position to rent a nice couple of places like they were in now.

Rachel's apartment was a little more open than Quinn's in the respect that despite the actress having large patio wall windows in her living room Rachel's apartment was both wider and longer which meant she had a lot more windows. It was clean with white walls and the space was all on one level unlike Quinn's.

In the area that would constitute the shape of a bay window sat a piano with a dining table nearby and various objects like small end tables or eye pieces like antic furniture with a couple of chairs and such. There were bookshelves and instruments and all kinds of collectables along with playbills and song books.

But to the back where there were some large folding doors was the real living area. Rachel liked the feel of it being tucked into the back where she could cut everything off and just relax and be herself. She had a large comfy sofa with matching chairs and a coffee table. It was a nice little room that wasn't obnoxiously big like the other half of the divide but it was big enough to be able to spaciously relax in.

The kitchen was through a door to the far back of the apartment and her bedroom along with the guest bedroom and bathroom were upstairs. There was a spiral metal stair case just by the front door entryway that lead up there.

Seeing a tint of blue coming from the living room Quinn slipped out of her shoes groaning lightly as she did and then began to walk through the apartment. As she went she slipped off her jacket and draped it across one of the dining chairs as she walked into the living area. The doors hadn't been shut so she easily saw her girlfriend sprawled across the sofa sound asleep.

The singer was on her back and her head was propped up slightly on a cushion. The TV was on low and had now run on to some sort of infomercials and there were a few papers scattered across the floor that had dropped off Rachel's stomach. There were a couple still sat on her held there by her hand that was loosely on her abdomen.

''So cute.''

Quinn whispered to herself as she walked in slowly and knelt at the side of the sofa. The blonde picked up the dropped sheets of paper and glanced over them. Rachel had been writing. There were song lyrics scribbled next to music notes with notations everywhere. It made the blonde smile lightly as she read over them and formed the tune in her head and started to get a vague idea of what the song was supposed to be and go like.

That was the best thing about being able to understand the notes. She had never really intended on learning how to play anything but she had taken to music as a form of therapy and it had just kind of happened. Rachel had already been playing by then so she had helped her. Puck had helped her with her guitar skills and also Kurt pitched in with the piano. It was also how Quinn had learnt to cook because it was part of her therapy. She hadn't gotten it at first but like the music she had ended up taking a flare for it.

Clearing her throat Quinn leant over the couch and ran her fingers across Rachel's face. She looked so peaceful and comfortable that the blonde didn't know whether to wake her or not. It was a short debate because she figured she would get an ear full in the morning when Rachel found her in her bed.

''Rach...baby wake up.''

Quinn whispered just loud enough to disturb the air. She leant forward and kissed Rachel's face and smiled gently against her skin as she heard little grunts come out of her.

''Mmm...s'that you?''

''It's me beautiful''

''Time is it?''

''Rolling onto 2. You wanna open those big brown eyes of yours and come to bed?''

She loved the sleepy and breathy voice that Rachel used because she was barely awake and was probably more asleep than anything else. She sighed and made another tiny sweet little noise as she shook her head. Quinn smirked and stood up fishing her phone and some change out of her pocket and placed it on the floor. She put all of Rachel's papers on the floor before grabbing a blanket from the back of one of the chairs.

Stepping over Rachel the actress tucked herself into the back of the couch comfortably and spread the blanket over the both of them. Rachel took in a sloppy breath and turned toward her slightly and instinctively draped an arm over her. Quinn stared at her for a good long while as she watched her sleep running her fingers through her hair or along the soft skin of Rachel's face. Eventually her exhaustion forced her eyes to close and she floated off happy in the knowledge that she was there with the smaller woman.

GGG GGG GGG

Quinn's sleep was disturbed by the faint noises of the morning. The wakening noises out on the city streets, the buzz of the air, the people talking. There was a faint breeze that caressed the skin of her face and smelt fresh and somehow full of potential. Even though her eyes were still closed Quinn could tell that it was light out.

There were noises coming from inside the apartment too. The low and faint sounds of slow keystrokes of the piano sat in centre place of the apartment. They weren't loud or obnoxious it was almost a whispering sound that they made and the rhythm was recognisable to her as being entirely Rachel's.

With a soft wakening moan Quinn took in a shaggy deep breath as she lifting her hand up to rub her face. Immediately the movement was met with a surge of pain running through her hand and wrist and she cringed before dropping it to her side and using her other hand to run her hand across her face. She had forgotten her temporary injury.

After a moment or so Quinn's sleepy hazel eyes fluttered open and she blinked a few times to adjust to the light. She was sprawled out on her back on Rachel's couch with the blanket haphazardly strewn across her and she was still fully dressed. Looking around she could see that Rachel had drawn the divider doors closed to reduce any noise. It didn't stop the delightful fragrance of fresh coffee floating on in though.

Quinn raised her hand and blinked at the time.

''God...''

It was barely 6:30am which meant that she had probably gotten the grand total of 4 hours sleep. She was tempted to just roll over and let herself get some more but now she was awake she knew she should just get up. If she slept over she would be rushing to shower and have breakfast before getting to work and she hated to rush. Plus it meant more time with Rachel and that was never a bad thing. Unless she was in a bitchy mood then Quinn tried to hide on the opposite end of the earth.

Forcing herself up the actress moaned a little as she grabbed her phone and stood and tried to stretch out a little. Her body ached not from the sleep on the couch that was actually pretty damn fantastic and comfortable. She had slept on it more than once and now she and Rachel were more than friends Quinn had taken no hesitation on deflowering the furniture with her girlfriend.

Her body ached from the late shoot and the stunts and the lack of sleep she had been getting the last few days. She had been thinking too which she hadn't talked about yet but there were considerations and contemplations constantly turning around inside of her head. It was pretty much all connected to what was going on between her and Rachel and how she was going to deal with the what would undoubtedly be the shit storm that followed her around when the press got wind of it.

She had to handle it well. She knew she needed to keep a tight control over what happened but she just had no idea how she did that.

There was a lot to consider. She cringed at the headlines she could see in her head.

_Ex tormentor turned lover._

_Quinn Fabray pregnant by 16 – gives baby up for adoption._

_Popular TV actress still in therapy after years of abuse perpetrated by Father. _

The list went on. Yes people knew that she had been a bitch to Rachel for most of their time at school together but they didn't _really _know. They didn't know how bad she had made it for her girlfriend at that time because Rachel never named names. If someone were to really set their mind to finding out Quinn was sure there would be plenty of talkative volunteers back in Lima that would get a kick out of telling their stories.

She couldn't help but wonder where that would leave her daughter. What if someone managed to find out who she was and where she was? Quinn didn't want anything bad to happen to Beth or Shelby or their privacy be invaded. Wherever they were she just hoped that they were happy. She would get a postcard every year on Beth's birthday from Shelby just telling her that things were good and the little girl was happy. Sometimes she would get a photo but the postcards came from different places. Quinn knew it was Shelby's way of keeping her distance so the blonde wouldn't be tempted to find them.

It had never been an issue. Quinn did feel that a little part of her was missing every day and she knew that little part was Beth. No matter what had happened she still loved her even though she didn't know her. But she was still content with her decision because there would have been absolutely no way she could have given her anything that she needed. Maybe if it happened now it would be different but back then she had had zero to offer the girl and Shelby had everything to offer her. It was enough for Quinn to know that her daughter was having a good life somewhere out there.

Of course there was also her abusive past. How that hadn't managed to come out yet she had no idea but she was thankful for it. She had been a minor so her name probably had been sealed and thankfully most of her townsfolk had been so disgusted with Russell Fabray that they had locked him away and thrown out the key. People had seemed to go out of their way to give her space after that first day back at school and the blonde had quickly found out it was only that idiot that wanted to cause trouble. Everyone else had been okay. Some had looked at her with pity and she hated that but at least they weren't looking at her with blame. She could take pity over blame any day.

It had been a lengthy and hard process getting her shit together and yes she still saw a therapist. Once a month like clockwork Quinn still saw a psychiatrist to just defragment and hit base with herself and get out anything she needed to get out. It felt more like regular life checkups now though and a lot of the time they didn't even talk about her Father but she knew it was important for her to have that in her life. She figured she would need a little more time than once a month if everything was dragged up again.

If she was honest with herself though Quinn knew that she was ready to handle this. It would be hard yet but in a way cathartic because she hated secrets and ultimately she may even be able to use it to her advantage and have an even louder voice on the issues than she had now. She urged people to speak up about their abuse whatever form it takes and tell someone. Maybe it was time to say that she spoke out and turned to just one person and she survived and it was better.

''You look exhausted, Quinn.''

The blonde blinked and turned her head to look toward Rachel who was still sat at the piano seat but had twisted around to look at her when she realised she was there. The brunette wondered how Quinn could look so sleepy yet so philosophically deep in thought at the same time.

''I pretty much am beautiful. Even my bones ache.''

The actress muttered in a half hearted whine as she rubbed her face again as she sighed sloppily.

''What happened to your wrist, baby?''

Quinn lifted up her hand again and stared at the support bandage before shrugging.

''A stunt went wrong and I lost my balance. So much for all that time as a cheerleader, huh?''

She smiled softly toward her girlfriend before moving forward and placing her good hand on the back of Rachel's head as she ducked down and placed a soft kiss on her lips. She was about to pull away but Rachel's hands fisted her shirt to keep her in place so she could deepen the kiss into an open and languid one. After a couple of moments when they needed air Rachel let Quinn's shirt go and the blonde drew back slightly with a dazzled look on her face.

''I think I may just need a cold shower before my hot one now.''

Rachel smiled before accepting another soft kiss before Quinn stepped back and headed off up toward the bathroom. After watching her girlfriend disappear and her eyes no longer had her ass to stare at Rachel cleared her throat and went back to keying the notes on the piano and running little tunes before scribbling them down on her music sheet. Occasionally she would hum with the tunes as she ran lyrics through her head and what meanings and themes she wanted to convey.

Just because she had already cut her album it didn't stop her from writing more music. Nothing ever stopped her from doing that. By now Rachel thought she must have written hundreds of songs. Some of them were private and some she had given to other artists or written specifically for someone or something and others were used for her own purposes like the albums.

And no it wasn't just show tunes and those types of Barbara songs. It was all whole host of different genres and a lot of different styles and themes. She liked to experiment and do different things. It was both satisfying and challenging and ultimately Rachel thought it made her a much better and versatile artist.

Before she knew it the time had ticked onto 7:30 and there was a persistent pounding at her front door. Lifting herself up from the piano Rachel crossed her apartment to her front door and stood up on her tip toes to look through the peephole on the door. Scoffing she rolled her eyes and unlocked the door before pulling it open.

''I didn't know you could tolerate daylight Santana, did you wet the bed or something?''

Before Santana could come up with some kind of insulting good morning Rachel decided that she would come up with one first. She had never had the Latina on her doorstep so early before and it was kind of surprising. Actually it was a little downright scary.

''Sure I did but not with pee, bitch.''

Santana pushed passed her as Rachel dropped her jaw and grimaced at the same time. That was an image that she did not need to have so early in the morning – or ever at all. Evidently Santana's smiting powers were still a lot more efficient than hers.

''I did _not _need that vomit inducing image Santana. Good morning Brittney.''

Rachel found herself pulled into a hug from the perky tall blonde that was still hovering by the door. Evidently these two had been up and 'at it' for a while which was probably why they looked so...enthused this early. Rachel was a morning person anyway but she knew from experience that the girls she attended school with were not.

''Morning Rach, we brought breakfast items because we're here so early and I told San that it would be rude to come empty handed.''

The brunette smiled as she stepped aside and let Brittney passed her before closing the door.

''Thank you Britt. It isn't necessary but the sentiment is appreciated. That said, what _are _you doing here so early?''

By the time Rachel made it through the apartment to her kitchen where Santana had strolled off to and stood at the end of her kitchen island Santana had already helped herself to the coffee in the pot and poured herself and Brittney one before getting out some plates for the breakfast snacks they had brought. Most of which were unsuitable for Rachel but Brittney emptied a separate and smaller paper bag and put the contents on a separate plate before pushing it toward Rachel with a wink. That wink told her that she had made Santana get a vegan option as well as everything else.

''You're shit has been blowing up my office, midget. Here. Tell me what you want and I'll sort it the fuck out.''

Santana grumbled before thrusting some papers at Rachel with a scowl as she sipped her coffee before rolling her head and neck with a sigh.

''I knew this was a mistake you're already pissing me off by proxy.''

The taller girl muttered mostly to herself as Brittney chomped on a bagel happily and Rachel began to read her way through the items on the paper. Picking up a pen she began to either scratch things out or circle them or put a question mark against them because she wanted more details. Then she huffed and glared at Santana.

''I am _not _doing Playboy, Santana! No!''

''You're loss.''

''Yes it would be my loss – of _clothing_. I am not up for that.''

The singer declared sternly as she scrubbed it out on the list. Brittney looked up at her from where she had taken a seat.

''You don't have anything to be ashamed of Rachel you're really hot.''

Rachel blushed instantly before she took a breath and cleared her throat.

''Thank you Brittney but be that as it may I'm not willing to take of my clothes for a magazine that objectifies women and puts their base value at sex. It's deplorable. I have more to offer than that and while I completely respect those who do it I would need complete propriety and substantive reasons as to why it was required if I were ever to consider it. Besides there's nothing wrong with keeping a little something for the imagination and only sharing what's left with that who I'm with.''

Rachel hadn't actually been aware that she had been ranting as she finished off the list of things to choose between and just kept talking. She hadn't even realised what she had been saying other than that she was not going to subject herself to stripping off unless there was a damn good reason as to why.

''Oh-kay. Meltdown over something we don't care about much? And that is like the second time you've implied that you're getting your Jewish freak on with someone. What gives?''

Santana demanded as she placed a hand on her hip and gave Rachel one of those 'don't mess with me' looks. They still freaked her out after all of this time. What freaked her out more was the fact that she suddenly got very uncomfortable at the question and began to shift awkwardly as she searched for something to say. She had no idea whether it was her place to tell Santana and Brittney about her and Quinn's relationship without her present. Yes they had agreed to tell people as and when they felt comfortable but these two were a little different. Plus they had been Quinn's friends for a whole lot longer than they had been hers.

Her mouth dropped open and closed as she struggled to speak. Of course that was entirely the wrong thing to do because it added fuel to Satan's fire.

''_Oh _my god you are and it's juicy. I can tell because you _always _have something to say about everything. Whose tying your tongue short stack?''

''I uh...it's not...''

Rachel spluttered ungracefully. As though that wasn't bad enough the distant sound of a hair dryer could be heard distantly as the door to the kitchen had been propped open. The brunette sighed and closed her eyes. Worst timing ever. It would only be a matter of time that Quinn came strolling in obliviously and the cat would be out of the bag.

''Oh so it's a _girl_?''

''Or a boy with really long hair.''

Brittney shrugged lightly and was actually not so bothered as Santana to find out Rachel's secret. Not because she wasn't interested she was but because she knew that Rachel would tell them anyway when she was ready.

''Okay you guys _have _to leave. This is not how we want this to happen. I thank you for the gathering of breakfast assortments but go away, please?''

Santana simply scoffed and parked her butt onto the nearest school.

''No way Tiny Tim – I gots to see me a Rachel Berry chew toy.''

Rachel huffed and rolled her eyes as the sound of the hairdryer was turned off. Oh that was great. It usually took longer than that but evidently Quinn wasn't bothered about her hair being completely dry yet. Though it didn't matter how much time she lingered anyway because clearly her morning guests were not going to leave.

''What're you doing?''

Rachel hissed as Santana got out her phone and pressed something before she lifted it up to her ear.

''Yo Q what's up? Oh nothing much just sitting in Berry's place waiting for her little somethin' somethin' to emerge. Thought you should join in on the fun.''

Rachel groaned and flopped her top half onto the island and felt Brittney pat the back of her head softly. Could this get any worse?

''Did I mumble, Q-Tip? Britt's and I are on stake out duty in The Shire waiting to see what misguided troll Miss. Baggins here is banging.''

By this time Rachel was banging her head lightly onto the counter top of the island. This was not how she wanted to start her morning. Actually she had been planning on taking Quinn out for breakfast to ease her into the day considering the lack of sleep and the achy bones. But no instead they had been ambushed by Satan and her wife. Not that she really minded Brittney being here – just Santana.

''Since it's me can I get an upgrade from troll to elf?''

Santana actually looked confused for a minute that Quinn's voice not only came through across the phone line but eased through the air of the kitchen. The blonde was smirking as leant on the wall having gone unnoticed and still had her phone to her ear.

Brittney leant toward Santana but kept staring at Quinn with all of fascination shock and fear in her eyes.

''How'd you do that San? Are you magic? Is _Quinn _magic?''

The blonde whispered loudly as she tried to figure out what the hell had just happened. Rachel squeaked in protest from her position which was still strewn across the top and Santana lowered her phone as Quinn did the same. She winked at her friend as she started to walk toward the kitchen.

''No, sweetie. Quinn's just getting herself some dwarf diving action.''

Santana deadpanned as she watched Quinn point at her sternly as she approached Rachel. The blonde put her hand on her back as she stood right into her and Rachel stood up straight and looked up to her. It was weird because they had always been able to have some warped kind of conversation in silence ever since they were friends but this was different. Santana could see that difference as though it were physical. It still grossed her out though.

They were all disgusting and affectionate and hell even a bitch like her could see the love there. It made her want to barf because she didn't do love crap unless it was for Brittney. She didn't want to see other people's love crap and especially not this early in the morning.

''You guys _that _is disgusting.''

The clearly riled up Latina stated.

''I think it's cute. Are you girlfriends now?''

Brittney grinned at her friends completely interested in the new turn of events.

''Yes, Brittney, _Rachel _and I are girlfriends now. It's _not _disgusting and before you ask Santana it is _not _a fling. We're serious. We're exclusive. We're in love. So be nice.''

Quinn wasn't so much replying to Brittney as she was warning Santana as her attention was focused fully on her. It wasn't as though she thought her friend would be unhappy but she wanted to get her point across from this first instant. She wanted the foul mouthed PR agent to really understand what this meant and register inside of her head that it was real. Quinn felt protective over the relationship when it came to exposing it to Santana because whether she meant to be offensive or not she could say some wildly inappropriate things.

Plus the other woman would probably be dealing with the shit storm it caused when it came out as general knowledge. Now that she was steering the ship of both of their respective careers she was going to get inundated with questions and Quinn needed her to be set in her answers. Also Santana was her best friend. She wanted her best friend to know that what she had was significant and real and fantastic. She wanted her support.

''You do realise Jew-drop that you're Glee club tally is now at the high score of 5?''

''What?''

''Finn, Puck, Jesse, Brittney and now Quinn. You doing the rounds kitten?''

''_Santana_!''

Everyone flinched at that cold tone in Quinn's voice. It was the bitchy cheerleader voice that had terrified everyone at school for years Rachel included.

''Reel it in.''

The blonde ordered with narrowed eyes that told Santana that she wasn't messing around. And for a long moment no one spoke. Quinn and Santana did eye battle while Rachel and Brittney just looked uncomfortable as they looked between each other and their respective partners.

''It's cool that you're in love guys I'm really happy for you and so is San she's just cranky because she didn't get to give sexy times this morning because it's that time of the month for me and it pisses her off more than when she can't receive. I think you make a really cute couple.''

Brittney rambled sweetly as she smiled warmly at her friends. Without ever realising it Brittney was very good and very timely at interjecting tension relief in any given situation. Neither Quinn or Rachel really wanted to hear the outstandingly true account of why Santana was so pissy this morning but it did kind of explain a lot and it did burst the tension bubble.

Brittney promptly stood up and moved around to give Rachel and Quinn a hug. They smiled at her thankfully before she turned back around and went to stand by Santana and give her a shove. The Latina sighed and rolled her eyes.

''Fine – you make a cute couple. Whatever. If you're happy I'm happy. Just not as your representative because this is just gunna suck donkey balls.''

She glowered petulantly but there was actually an element of truth running through her voice at the being happy part. Brittney bounced and clapped on the spot which made Rachel laugh. The pair of them walked off together toward the piano as Brittney began to talk about something Quinn couldn't quite make out. She stood firm where she was and continued to look at her friend.

''Hey. I mean it Q. You repeat this and you're dead. Rachel's good for you. She's always been good for you. I've been waiting for this to happen since like – forever. Looks like you finally wised up and got your shit together. You deserve to be happy and so does she. It's just about time that you figured out the only people that can make that happen for yourselves is yourselves. Don't fuck it up. You get me?''

Quinn smiled gratefully as she nodded lightly.

''I get you.''

''I mean it Quinn. You start having those thoughts you get your ass into my space and I will beat you until you're smart again.''

Quinn nodded affirmatively. Santana knew her inside out. In some respects she knew her better than Rachel. Everyone knew that Quinn had a habit of self sabotaging her relationships when they went well. She had hurt people and she had hurt herself. She had usually used sex as a weapon and it had all gotten a little fucked up from time to time. Santana knew that pathology inside out. As happy and committed as she was to Brittney now there had been a time of course when she too had used sex as a weapon. She had done the whole hiding behind behaviours and defence mechanisms and sex. Rachel and Brittney never had.

How her girl and the midget hadn't realised that they were the couple destined to be Santana had never understood. What mattered was that they were there now. Her remarks had been just her usual bravado but under that she was rooting for them. And she had made a promise a long time ago to have not only Quinn's back but Rachel's too. So she would do anything to make sure that Quinn had an outlet because she knew Brittney would be all over Rachel in a much softer and sweet and sickly way.

''We got your backs chica. Gimme some love.''

Quinn scoffed and rolled her eyes but she moved around to accept the hug that Santana slid off of the stool to give her. Thank god for good friends.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N - Thank you again to all those who have taken the time to give me some feedback and suggestions and stuff. It's really cool. I was asked to have Rachel in a more indepth interview with some prompts to fulfill so here is my attempt with a 'lil smut at the end!**

**xxx**

Rachel sighed as she shouldered open the door to her apartment and stepped inside. No matter what she had been doing on the outside it was always a feeling of sanctuary that she had when entering her domain. She was always usually so busy and she came and went all the time so when she was here she had learnt to appreciate it.

Shutting the door Rachel moved over to her answering machine as the little red lights blinked up at her to signal that she had a message waiting. She pressed the play button quickly.

''Hi my little Broadway starlet! It's your Dad, just checking in honey seeing how you are. Call us when you get a chance. Love you, bye.''

Rachel smiled gently. She of course called her Dad's in a dutiful and regular pattern but she may have slipped a little in her routine given her recent activities. The only drawback to being in New York was that she was so very far away from them. The plane ride wasn't too bad but it was still a long way and until she had left for Julliard she hadn't really understood the distance that would be involved. Still they visited quite regularly around work and she visited them when she caught a break long enough and they spoke over the phone or on Skype.

Checking her watch Rachel picked up the phone and pressed a speed dial.

''Hi Daddy! Yeah I just listened to his message. I know things have been pretty busy. I have an interview in about a half hour so I just called to say hi and to tell you I have a little news. I feel bad for telling you over the phone but needs must. I'm actually at a loss of how to say it so I'll just say it – Quinn and I are dating – we're in love, Daddy.''

Rachel laughed at the reaction that came in the form of a gasp/squeal/laugh type noise. Her Father's very much liked the blonde and although she had never told Quinn this they had always asked her why she couldn't find someone like Quinn when they hadn't liked her choice of partner. Which had to be said was more often than not. They had been very polite to them but Rachel had always known the difference between them actually liking someone or just simply politely putting up with them.

The singer went through the list of question that her Father had. She him how long they had been dating and explained that they didn't know quite how or why it suddenly changed but it only took one look at each other to know it had. She said that Quinn treated her like a princess and they were just fitting into place perfectly and they had decided to start telling the people around them now that they knew themselves where they were at in their relationship.

Eventually though Rachel had to say goodbye to her Dad to run and get changed. No sooner as she walked out of her bedroom there was a knock on her door and she went over to answer it. She had agreed to a home interview and she knew that the photographer was going to be taking some pictures around the apartment. They had agreed how much they could reveal because it was still her home and she didn't want every inch of it in print but she didn't mind sharing some of it.

Rachel had of course made sure everything was perfectly clean and tidy to be photographed! She wasn't about to let in a photographer with her stuff everywhere. She had made sure Quinn hadn't left anything suspicious out either and everything was in order.

They had started out talking about the music and her favourite shows and the awards she had already won. It was more of the 'business' questions and how she got where she was and what routines she kept and things. He asked what had lead her to this apartment and how New York differed from Ohio for her and things like that. Gradually it began to get more and more personal and he looked at her speculatively from his seat to where she sat on the stool of the piano playing with some of the keys.

''Is it true that you're a kick boxer?''

Brian Dunne asked speculatively. Rachel smirked and nodded happily. She liked Brian and she had interviewed with him once before. He had some set questions he was given then usually threw in his own. He usually went in a little deeper than most but that was is style and he wrote longer articles than most too. He was pretty pleasant and easy to talk to.

''Yes! That's very true.''

''What got you into that?''

Rachel took a sip from the water bottle that sat atop the piano.

''Well actually it was something I got into with Quinn Fabray. We both come from this little tiny town and two young girls going to New York? Yeah, we decided that we needed to be kick ass!''

The brunette laughed with a simple shrug and gained Brian's amusement as well as a snicker from the photographer. It was a half truth. They had gotten into kickboxing because when Quinn finally broke from her most depressive time back in school one of the ways to get her out active and more confident was to begin training. Rachel had volunteered to go with her and they had both taken to it really well. Probably because they were used to dancing so much but eventually it had become something they had really gotten into as well as something to help keep them safe.

''Forward thinkers! So self defence is important to you?''

''Very. I'm not exactly an imposing character it wouldn't take much to knock me down or worse. I think that young people, especially young girls, would be well served learning a little self defence as well as anyone that feels like it would be good for them and boost their confidence.''

''Is that what it did for you?''

Rachel nodded quickly.

''Definitely. I felt more empowered and it really did boost my confidence. I feel a lot more capable than I did as a teenager. I've never had to rely on the skills thankfully and I do _not_ condone violence at all but I think self defence is a lot different from aggression.''

Both she and Quinn had often spoken out about the subject and they knew from fan mail or things like Twitter and Facebook that a lot of people – and a lot of girls – had looked into it or gone to something. Knowing what they knew it was a good thing. They weren't naive enough to think that if Quinn had known how to kickbox as a teenager then she wouldn't have been put through what she had been put through but feeling that confidence and having something to fall back on could be essential for somebody at some point in life.

''That's great. So you still train with Quinn?''

''Sure yeah, we do a lot of things together.''

Brian laughed lightly.

''I'm sure a lot of people would love a demonstration!''

''I'm sure they would!''

She laughed too but she also knew what was coming. Now more than ever were they being asked about the status of their relationship. It was actually a lot of pressure feeling everyone else want you to do something or be with someone – knowing that maybe they had seen something before you had. Rachel truly appreciated her fans but how they managed to see something about her without even knowing her before she knew? It was sweet and kind of creepy all at the same time. Mostly sweet though. It was nice to just be supported.

It didn't help that they were probably acting a little more couply than ever though. The other day Quinn had danced into her a little too closely to be considered friendly and she had practically been sitting on the blonde's knee when they had gone out to dinner. Not to mention the constant hand holding and the close stance they would take for photos. They weren't exactly the definition of subtle.

''I have to ask about the rumours.''

There it was. Rachel scoffed with a laugh as rolled her eyes in playful dramatics and ran her hand through her long hair.

''Wow! That question doesn't usually pop up until midway through the interview!''

She joked wryly with intensely burning eyes that possible belied the spiel that she was about to spew out.

''Did I pique too early?''

Rachel's eyes shifted up her forehead at the quip.

''Ah and with entendre! _Nice_!''

She liked interviewers that could spar with her and not take themselves too seriously. It was hard to focus sometimes because of a generic style or set of questions but her favourite was when she could bounce off of someone. It made it interesting and a little bit more exciting and even special.

Brian bowed his head slightly with a pleased smirk.

''Thank you! So how about those rumours?''

Rachel winced in mock apology.

''Standard answer I'm afraid.''

''Which is?''

''Quinn and I love each other with all our hearts, we go way back, we're very amused to read about our torrid love affair...''

Rachel wiggled her hand in gesture of the standard etcetera etcetera as her reply wavered off.

''I get it! Sorry, I had to ask.''

''It's okay. We get it.''

''That's cool. So you were quite candid in a recent interview about your high school bullying. Can I ask you a little about that?''

''Sure.''

Rachel shifted slightly in her seat as she began to play a little soft rhythm out on the piano. Maybe all her interviews should be like this – it was easier with her piano next to her to focus on when harder subjects came up. She had moved passed things yes but it didn't mean some of them still didn't hurt.

''You said that you were perpetually slushied, how did that feel?''

The brunette shuddered a little as she remembered the feeling of those slushies. They were horrible. It was very rare now and back then that she would actually drink one because she was so put off after having so many thrown in her face. Hundreds, actually.

''Awful. It was bad enough getting the syrup everywhere but the accompanying ice? Ouch!''

That didn't mean she couldn't play it cool about it now or joke a little about what happened because really what else could she do? It was done with and the only thing she could do now was lend her voice to the cause of anti-bullying.

''It hurt?''

''Oh yeah! It hurt a _lot_.''

That damn ice had stung like a thousand little tiny shards of glass.

''What else happened?''

''The unfortunate run of the mill things. Name calling, verbal attacks, physical attacks, dumpster tossing. The list goes on. It's actually ironic how inventive the kids in our town were about bullying.''

It was actually oddly impressive.

''Physical attacks?''

Rachel pointed to the little scar that was _just _crept out of her hairline in the middle of her head.

''You see this scar right here that _just _sticks out?''

Brian leant forward and squinted a little but then nodded as he saw it.

''Forced collision with a locker.''

Karofsky – the idiot had shouldered her and given his size and her size it had sent her flying head first into a locker and there had been a surprising amount of blood. It had hurt like a bitch but it had hurt more knowing that he was so willing to hurt a girl over nothing. Over stupid high school politics.

''Ouch.''

''Yeah. It was pretty brutal which is why I speak out about it because I'm aware that there is _so _much worse going on out there.''

However strangely impressive the students were from her school there really was much worse. School was supposed to be a place you could feel safe in – not a place where you had to fear a slushy _or _a weapon. It wasn't a place you should have to be worried about getting beaten to a pulp in or join a gang because it was the only way to feel safe. It wasn't supposed to make life so miserable that kids took their own lives.

''What would you say to the kids, parents and teachers out there about bullying?''

''I would say to the kids that _you _have the power. To the kids being bullied I would say that you have more power than you think and you have a voice. Use it. Talk to someone. Pick a friend or a teacher or turn to your parents. The only way bullies have real power is if no one speaks out against them.

To the bullies, whatever pain you have in your lives will _not_ be alleviated by persecuting another person. You also have a voice, so use it and talk to someone. Teachers – stop letting things slide. There was an incredible amount of bullying that went either unnoticed or ignored, watch more closely. Parents, be there to support your child and just make an open atmosphere to your child can talk without feeling afraid.''

Rachel implored earnestly. Maybe if her teachers had been more aware or more bothered things would have been different. Maybe it would be different for a lot of people. It worked for other things too. Quinn had taken the power away from her Father by using her voice and it had been her saving grace. It had taken her a while to see that she was holding the power by doing so but it had been true.

''Is it true that there was animosity between you and Quinn in school?''

''There was. There was a lot of it, actually. I was on the absolute bottom of the social ladder and she was at the very top.''

It was hard to remember Quinn as that spiteful teenager anymore. The one that had done a million and one things to mess with her or drag her down. Quinn had been responsible for ordering a countless amount of slushies - for much of Rachel's humiliation - for writing horrible things about her and getting everyone to join in. It had hurt more than Rachel liked to remember.

The feelings could catch up to her sometimes. They could give her pause. Knowing why it had happened didn't negate the feelings it had caused though.

''What changed?''

Rachel smiled in a mysterious knowing.

''We talked to each other.''

What had taken the poison out of them though was talking to Quinn – _really _talking to her. Not just because of or about what happened to her but about lots of different things. Rachel had quickly lost count of how many times or how many nights they would spend just talking and talking. From trivial things like favourite colours and flavours to more in depth things like religion, politics and even philosophy. They would get into these seriously deep and meaningful conversations and that had been their true turning point.

''And the rest is history, as they say?''

''Exactly!''

''You guys were in Glee club together right?''

''We were. For which Quinn herself took some grief. Glee club was practically a death sentence at our school.''

Rachel still couldn't work out quite why but she wouldn't change it for the world. Being in Glee club had taught her so many lessons that she still used in her day to day life now. And she had made some solid friendships.

''What compelled you to join it then?''

''Besides being a glutton for punishment? I needed a creative outlet for singing and well, in Lima that was pretty much it.''

''Was it hard?''

Rachel nodded as she ran her finger up and down the length of keys gently.

''It was exceptionally hard. It was a battle. We fought between ourselves as well as against our whole school _and_ our rivals. But somewhere along the line our little club turned into a family. It was the place we could be ourselves, the place that we could be true to ourselves.''

The singer couldn't remember just how many arguments and fights and squabbles they had had between each other. They had won things because they had drawn together often at the last minute when behind the scenes they had been ready to rip each other apart.

''Are you still in contact with those friends?''

''I am actually. Quinn too. We're all scattered around but we try our best to have regular dinners and such. Santana Lopez and Brittney Pierce are both here in New York too. It's great.''

Brian perked with interest at the mentioning of her friends' names.

''Santana Lopez has taken over your representation?''

Rachel simply nodded as she turned out a simply but sweet melody on the piano.

''It's reported that you fired your previous agent?''

It was outstanding the things that the media was willing to report on. Why would they be so interested who was behind her representation or why she fired her previous one? Did it really matter?

''We had some...irreparable differences in opinion, yes.''

Brian scoffed.

''That's a nice way of putting it!''

The singer grinned with an ounce of mischief behind it as she shrugged before taking another sip of her water one hand never leaving the piano keys as they continued to strum blindly.

''I try!''

''There was speculation that you went to Santana Lopez because you wanted to be represented by not only a woman but a lesbian too.''

Rachel just nodded casually.

''Yeah I heard that.''

''Is it true?''

''No. Santana's lesbianism and gender happen to be coincidental! Seriously, I went to her because I trust her. She knows what I want and she knows what I don't want. We've known each other a long time and despite the fact we're polar opposites we are very good friends. She's fantastic at her job and I trust her implicitly.''

''So your agenda isn't to be only represented by gay people?''

At that Rachel stalled in her piano strumming and looked at him with wide eyes and an exasperated huff as her jaw dropped a little.

''_What_? _No_! I honestly couldn't care less what sexuality anybody is. I don't have an agenda like that I just have to make choices regarding my career and that was the best choice for me right now. My only agenda regarding sexuality is to lend my voice in support of LGBT issues and be an activist for such. As long as people respect me I'll respect them.''

A gay agenda? Really? That was ridiculous. Rachel didn't want to push any agenda onto anyone. In fact she didn't want to push any opinion on anyone. She simply wanted to live her life and for people like her to be able to live their lives in relative peace and with the same entitlements and rights that everyone else had. That was it – that was her plan for world domination.

''Which doesn't always happen, does it?''

''No.''

Rachel couldn't count on her hands the amount of times that her bisexualism had been called into question or just downright torn apart. She had been called a both a great role model and an awful role model and she had been told constantly that if she didn't repent that she would go to hell. The mud had been slung at her many a time and she had always stood firm. To be quite honest she didn't care what they said. There were more yeysayers than naysayers anyway and she was who she was.

She had learnt from her Dad's how hard it could be but they had had the courage to be themselves and that's how they had raised her. In the same attitude as they had which was why she had found the strength to be who she was. What point was there in lying and being miserable? It was better to be happy in who you were and take the rougher times with the good rather than just be constantly worried and scared by hiding something.

''Was it hard for you to stand up and declare you're bisexual?''

''Yes and no. No because I'm perfectly comfortable with who I am. Yes because unfortunately it left me wide open to yet more intimidation tactics. Let's face it – girls in my position are ridiculed for coming out because it either isn't widely accepted or is considered a joke. Women coming out as lesbian don't exactly have it that much better. Gay men are forced to live up to a stereotype that is only accepted because it invites mockery. It's insane. You ask if I have an agenda and I do. I would like to see that change.''

Rachel had become slightly more gung ho than she intended but then again it was an issue she was of course passionate about.

''Do you think your sexuality threatens your career?''

She hadn't expected him to ask that and the question required a little thought. She frowned slightly as she looked down at her hands now that they sat in her lap as she had stopped fiddling with the piano. There was a ring on her finger that had been a present from Quinn a few years ago and then her bracelet that she had given her just days ago that had her love inscribed in it.

''You know I honestly don't know. I do well and I'm happy with how things are. I don't know if that's because the pocket that I'm in is more accepting or if it's because I was never closeted.''

Brian nodded in understanding – it was a complex question because maybe her career hadn't suffered that 'shock' factor that many other people's' did.

''Do you think you're a good role model?''

''For who?''

''Anyone.''

Rachel opened her mouth to respond but stalled for a moment as she held her shoulders in a shrug for a moment.

''I hope so. I'd like to think so. I try my best.''

The reporter smiled softly as his eyes twinkled lightly as he pulled out a notebook in which he had a piece of paper inside of it. Unfolding it he glanced it over for a second before looking back up at her.

''Did you know that the parents of the contest winners wrote a letter to the teen magazine that they published?''

''No...''

The singer elongated the word as she narrowed her eyes suspiciously and inquisitively. He had obviously asked her for a reason and obviously whatever he had there was about this letter. After what had happened Rachel was actually nervous about what it would say. Considering that her idiot ex agent and brushed their kids off then they would have every right to bitch about it in their follow up with the magazine.

''It wasn't bad! It was pretty amazing actually. They were overwhelmed that you went so far out of your way to give their girls not only the time of their lives but also the advice you gave them. They said you were real and honest and you were a great example of success. They also said that it was a relief to have them look up to someone so naturally beautiful, who conducts herself so well and emphasises talent before appearance. They like how you look because you're real and you're not underweight.''

Rachel's eyebrows lifted as she absorbed the information and let it process for a moment.

''You really hadn't seen that?''

''No I had no idea.''

She shook her head gently and was aware that she whispered slightly.

''How does that make you feel?''

Rachel squeaked and shrugged with a bemused expression on her face.

''I'm not actually sure I could verbalise how that makes me feel. I think for a socially challenged Jewish bisexual midget that's pretty cool for a parent to say!''

She laughed lightly and ran a hand through her hair as Brian laughed lightly too before he cleared his throat.

''Those are some of the negatives that have been thrown at you yes?''

''Oh yeah, a _lot_! But I like overturning them to my advantage.''

Which she had. There were things that she just couldn't change like her height and her sexuality or the fact that she was Jewish so why take them so seriously when they were commented on? Most people around her found her height amusing and it actually meant that she got looked after a lot. Not in a princess way but just a friendly way it was nice.

''Good for you. I guess which is the reason you seem to be a good role model. What do you have to say at being called beautiful in the same breath as essentially being told you're not overly skinny?''

Rachel laughed and fiddled with her bracelet again. She could only really think of Quinn as her words echoed in her mind and she thought about her eyes as she had spoken to her about appearances and confidence.

''You know I was recently reminded that beauty is a lot of things rather than just what's on the outside. Is it nice that they think I'm beautiful? Yes, of course it is. It's just not the focal point of my life. I have other things going on just like everyone else and I think it's a shame when people do just focus on appearance.''

Brian nodded before he gestured at her.

''But you do look good...you obviously put some effort into that.''

''I stay healthy. I exercise and I eat properly. I'm a vegan so my diet is obviously limited anyway so that just kind of happened rather than I go out of my way to go on some fad diet or something. I've done ballet for a long time. I had a dream to be on Broadway so I trained from early on to get there. I focused on my dream rather than my appearance. I'm not saying I didn't struggle with certain things or I still don't or that I don't have my moments of doubt about how I look. I think that's everyone. But I also don't think that my appearance is or should be the only good thing about me or anyone else.''

Brian looked at her for a moment and Rachel looked back at him and started to get a little worried about the silence that lingered. Gently she kicked his foot with hers and he jolted back into life.

''I think I may be in love with you!''

Rachel flat out laughed at that as well as blushed a little too.

''Don't say that to Quinn she'll be jealous!''

She joked though it would probably actually be true! He didn't need to know that though.

''Speaking of, your last significant relationship was with George Oakman. The running back for the Giants.''

''Yes.''

''Are you dating anyone right now?''

Yet again turning the bracelet around her wrist Rachel smirked before she could stop herself with _that _look in her eyes. That love struck look that was all sweet and gushing and basically said 'yipee I'm in love!'.

''I actually am, yes.''

Brian pulled an interested if not a little surprised face.

''You and George were together for a year right?''

''Just over yes.''

''There have been stirrings lately that you two are getting back together?''

It was a probing question looking for some kind of confirmation as to whether it was true or not. That maybe there was a reunion and Rachel and George would be the hot New York couple once again. However the news for Rachel was beyond a shock. Her eyes widened in surprise because she hadn't heard anything like that – not from anyone and not from her ex boyfriend.

''There are?''

She squeaked as her eyebrows lifted up quickly.

''In a recent interview George described you as the girl that got away. There's been speculation that he's been in contact with you and that people should watch this space. Are you guys back together?''

''No, we're not.''

Rachel clarified definitively. She had dealt with all sorts of rumours during her career. The papers had aligned her with many of her co-stars and others too and she was just used to it. She would either confirm or deny at the time but generally she tried to just get on with things.

''Could you see a future with George?''

Rachel struggled for a moment to find her words and ran her tongue across her lips as she ran her hand through her hair slowly.

''He's a great man and he meant a lot to me, but no. The reasons that we split up are our own but the underlying theme was simply that we had no chance of holding together a relationship. I would be very open to being friends with him, I miss him and I'll always love him but I've moved on. I'm sure that he has too.''

George really had been significant in her life. He had taught her a lot and he was a good man. He had treated her well and loved her but in the end certain things – irreparable things – had come between them. These were things that she had told no one. Not even Quinn. Everyone had badgered her on why they had split up when Rachel had obviously loved George so much and were at a complete loss as to the reasons. He had never told anyone either much to Rachel's relief. The last thing she wanted was to open that can of worms.

''So it's definitely not true? You two aren't an item?''

''No. I'm sure his current girlfriend and my current girlfriend would have noticed something like that.''

Rachel replied firmly but with enough distraction as she was lost in thought about her ex that she didn't even realise what she had said. It seemed so natural to just speak and make that reference that it didn't even register with her. She wondered what George had said about her and why and was actually concerned for once about these particular rumours. Not just because they were obviously wrong but because they could be detrimental to him and the relationship she knew he was in and because it could lead to an air of openness about what happened between them.

''I'm sorry – _girlfriend_?''

Brian latched on straight away – of course he did that was his job. Rachel blinked and looked at him for a moment as she caught up with herself and then sighed slowly as she cringed.

''Oh god...I really just did that didn't I?''

''Yes!''

''Okay, wow. I _suck_!''

She was half way between amusement and regret because she had never done anything like that before. She didn't just let things slip like that. Rachel planted her palm across her face as she shook her head at herself. It wasn't as though she particularly cared but she still wanted this to be done their way in their time after everyone they cared about had been informed first. She had only just managed to tell her Dad's let alone let it slip in an interview. It would only increase speculation now.

''So you're dating a girl?''

Rachel flicked her hand and looked back up with a 'what the fuck' expression and nodded.

''Yes, I'm dating a girl. And no I'm not going to tell you her name!''

She chuckled as she anticipated his next question.

''You sure about that?''

Rachel scoffed and nodded.

''Oh yeah! I think you've gotten enough out of me!''

There ended their interview and the only thing left was to take some proper shots and Rachel obliged in playing something on the piano too. After that Brian thanked Rachel after a little good natured teasing before he and the photographer left. After that her apartment seemed to be in relative silence and she was left to wonder a little bit about a few things.

For some reason Rachel had a looming feeling that the George thing was going to blow up in her face. She didn't want to say anything to Quinn about it. The blonde was already paranoid when it came to George and the reasons they had broken up. The actress knew how deeply Rachel had felt for him – deeper than any man that she had dated even. The fact that Rachel would never really say what happened other than that they just had wanted completely different things and couldn't find a way to compromise for each other didn't help either. Rachel didn't think that Quinn thought she regretted the split or anything but there was just a sensitiveness there that the taller girl picked up on.

And it wasn't like Rachel regretted it. She had made her decision for a reason – a damn good reason – and she would make it again given the same predicament.

X*x*x*X

''I...I made a mistake in my interview today...oh god...''

Rachel's head dizzied the same way it always did when Quinn touched her. She wasn't sure how simple kisses had turned into full blown making out or how making out and turned into her straddling her girlfriend who had slipped her hands underneath her shirt. Those oh so talented fingers gently and teasingly brushed against the undersides of her breasts over the material of her bra.

Quinn's mouth continued to slowly and lazily trail kisses along her neck, throat and the part of her chest that was exposed by her shirt. The apartment was still and quiet and Quinn's most recent script was abandoned on the coffee table and Rachel's sheet music had met the same fate.

Rather than a response the blonde simply replied by making a half interested grunt in the back of her throat as she happily continued her exploration with her mouth and her hands.

''I let it slip that I uh...fuck baby...that I have a girlfriend.''

The brunette gasped and arched into Quinn's hands as they palmed squeezed and caressed her breasts after slipping under the lace of the bra. Skin against skin caused her to groan and sigh and squirm on Quinn's lap as her head dropped back a little as the sensations swallowed her. Her own hands were tangled in the blonde's now mussed up hair.

''I hope she's nice.''

Quinn muttered into her skin before biting her gently then licking over the spot. Rachel mewled gently at the action. Then Quinn's hands pulled out of her shirt and an instance later she was pulling her top over her head and once again those warm hands found heated skin. Rachel shivered as her girlfriend trailed her hands up the sides of her ribcage. One wrapped its fingers there firmly though still gently before the other slipped under Rachel's bra again as her mouth kissed a path down her chest until it met a material covered nipple.

''Quinn...so good...she's...she's nothing compared to you.''

Quinn chuckled lowly in her throat and bit on Rachel's hard nipple lightly before looking up briefly.

''Charmer.''

Promptly Quinn's mouth attached itself to Rachel's other nipple as her hand cupped the breast that she had just given up.

''I uh...I told my Dad's about ah...about us.''

It was becoming increasingly hard to make words let alone intelligible conversation as Quinn worked her magic on her body. She just did things to her that sent her out of this world. Things that could seem so simple but were enough to implode her world. Like how her hands were now creeping around to her back and deftly unfastened the obstructive clothing item and moved her fingers to curl around the straps at her shoulders.

The actress drew her head back as she slowly began to pull down the straps as she caught her bottom lip between her teeth as her eyes glistened mischievously as she looked at her girlfriend.

''I hope it went down as well as I will tonight.''

Rachel looked at her with a heat in her eyes as she tossed the bra aside haphazardly leaving Rachel completely topless. Though her skirt did nothing to keep her honour considering that it had hiked itself up once she had straddled her. The brunette hadn't been wearing any socks or shoes which just made Quinn's job all the easier. It was less to pry off of Rachel and though she enjoyed stripping her it was still all the better not having to yank off shoes that were determined to stay on.

''Nothing goes down as well as you baby.''

Again Quinn smiled seductively at her girlfriend.

''Charmer.''

She restated before attaching her mouth to Rachel's neck again. The brunette gasped and moaned at the same time as she sank her teeth into her skin before licking over it to stop any irritation. Her hands curled around perfect breasts and made slow and tantalising movements and strokes. Her thumbs brushed over those still hardened nipples as her fingers squeezed and moulded those delicious mounds.

''Quinn...you're fucking killing me.''

There was a clear frustration in Rachel's cracked and hushed voice that thrilled the blonde. Rachel didn't take kindly to being teased for so long. A little teasing usually was okay but when she was building her up so slowly with no signs of immediate release? No Rachel didn't take too kindly to that and she got more frustrated the longer she was made to wait. Quinn was sure by now that the brunette was hot and ready to go and was undoubtedly wet for her.

''Consider it your punishment for spilling our secret.''

Quinn wasn't actually mad. It was just convenient and she knew Rachel knew there was nothing behind the words except for the message 'I'm taking my time with you so deal with it'. The blonde couldn't give a flying fuck if everyone knew that Rachel had a girlfriend. She couldn't give a flying fuck if the speculation upon them grew all the hotter because of it. And she really couldn't give a flying fuck if it was discovered early that she was that girlfriend. At some point they would know anyway and it was actually a nice feeling that Rachel had made the slip because she couldn't possibly keep it in.

Her family knew and now Rachel's family knew and that was the most important thing. Sure it would be nice to spread the word around their friends first – or the friends that were left to know – but if it broke before then Quinn would just be happy that both sets of parents had known first.

Rachel remained silent as she took the painfully slow torture as Quinn indeed took her time with her. She made a very elaborate examination of her breasts and gave them ultimate attention and dedication. As her mouth played her hands crept around her hips and moved to cup her ass under her skirt. Rachel moaned and murmured as she fisted Quinn's hair and periodically her shirt.

It felt like a lifetime passed by before Quinn even attempted moving her fingers to unwrap her skirt from her body and when she did her hands simply wrapped around her hips as Quinn dragged her mouth into a languid and sloppy kiss. Rachel bucked her hips forward in what was pretty much a state of desperation now and she felt the blonde's mouth smirk into hers. Quinn had the self control of a Navy god damn SEAL.

''Quinn please...''

Rachel panted hotly as she ripped her mouth away from her girlfriends as she felt as though she was losing the little vestiges of control she had left. It wasn't that she doubted that she could actually cum from just what the blonde was doing to her and in fact she knew she could but she wanted Quinn to touch her. There was a powerful and urgent ache pulsing between her legs and if Quinn didn't do anything about it soon Rachel thought that maybe she would actually die.

''Please what, baby?''

The blonde murmured back into her ear as she placed single kisses down the side of Rachel's face. She had a small pant of her own because she was aching and throbbing too and it took a lot of will power to not just throw caution to the wind and fuck her girlfriend senseless. To just take her like she wanted her to and have her cum already. Quinn wanted it slower than that and she wanted to blow Rachel's mind like a bullet to the brain. Getting her off in a torturously slow way was always satisfying and to be honest it was fun for her to drag it out too.

''Just fuck me already...please...I need you to touch me.''

The actress smirked into Rachel's skin again. It wasn't like hearing your girlfriend so desperate and hot and begging you wasn't totally awesome. Having her in the palm of her hand and pleading like it was for dear life made Quinn's head spin. Right now the entirety of Rachel Berry was in her hand – literally straddling her lap and right there for her to take and fuck and love and hold. The massive phenomenon that was Rachel just wrapped up in this tiny beautiful and currently quivering package. She could barely get her head around it.

Feeling her composure waver slightly Quinn began to relent. It was time that she put Rachel out of her misery because she didn't plan to just stop at making her cum just once. So if she wanted to get on with that she needed to give Rachel the release she was seeking. Her right hand slowly – because she couldn't cave completely – began to trail its way toward her sex. By now Rachel's panties were inconsequential – she had soaked completely through them.

The brunette grunted sharply as Quinn slid her hand to cup her securely. She squirmed slightly in her hand at first but then her body tried to angle and arch into her touch as it sought purchase on her palm.

''Like this?''

Quinn asked heatedly before licking up the length of Rachel's neck. The brunette shook her head.

''No. More.''

The blonde dragged her hand away and felt the shivers it caused to run through her girlfriend before she slipped her fingers underneath the waistband of those panties. Her eyes flittered as her eyes rolled back in her head as she felt the welcome awaiting her.

''Fuck Rachel...baby you're so hot and wet.''

Quinn _really _had to fight to keep it together then as her fingers explored the wet heat and ran through velvet folds as she breathed heavily into the crook of Rachel's neck. Her movements were still slow but she was definitely a lot less composed than before now.

''For you. I'm so hot and wet for you.''

Rachel corrected/added in a heavy pant as she arched into the touch as she growled gutturally. After waiting so long and being pushed and pushed into heights only Quinn could take her to Rachel knew she wouldn't last long. As those long and talented fingers ran the length of her most intimate place the singer already began to see stars.

Quinn watched Rachel's face as it contorted into concentrated pleasure as her fingers eased their way to her clit and began to circle it gently still with slow movements. Her hips bucked and there was a noise emanating from the smaller woman that Quinn could listen to for the rest of her life. The brunette held onto her tightly as her eyes closed and her breathing hitched. She looked so beautiful – so radiant. The blonde loved knowing that only she got to see Rachel like this. That so many people imagined being with her and having her and wishing she was hers. Well she was _hers_. For some reason that Quinn wasn't going to argue with Rachel loved her and she was the only person on earth that got to touch her to intimately.

''Look at me, Rachel.''

The blonde whispered as she slipped two fingers into her lovers heat. She was so hot and so tight and so fucking silky and perfect. The move made Rachel yelp heatedly and keen drift from the back of her throat. It took her a minute to let her eyes flutter halfway open. Those dark orbs of hers staring intently and even a little wildly back at her but Rachel wasn't in there. There was something altogether primal there as her mind left and gave way to what she was feeling. Quinn swore she could see everything there was to see in Rachel in these moments.

She slid her fingers into Rachel in a slow and steady pace which she was sure was antagonising somewhere in the brunette's head but she was still getting what she wanted. The blonde angled her hand so that she could thumb her hard nub of nerves at the same time and already she could feel Rachel's body begin to hum. Quinn's free hand found its way to cup the side of Rachel's face as she locked in their eye contact intensely.

Within the matter of seconds the walls around her fingers began to contract and squeeze around her and Rachel moaned an elongated moan as she started to climax. Quinn kept her steady rhythm going to guide her girlfriend through her orgasm and she could literally see Rachel explode through her eyes as she came around her. The wet explosion gushed around her fingers and her hand as Rachel's body piqued and shuddered through her hard and deep orgasm.

The singer moaned as she shuddered one last time before flopping slightly so that her face rested against Quinn's as she panted heavily.

''I hate you.''

Rachel muttered into Quinn only barely managing just above a whisper. Quinn simply smirked.

''You love me.''

She corrected lovingly as her hand ran up and down Rachel's back softly. Carefully she drew her fingers out of her girlfriend and leant back into the couch as she waited for Rachel to regain her senses. To be honest she didn't know how reading her script had turned into kissing which had turned into making out which had turned into straddling which had turned into sex. It just seemed to happen when it was Rachel next to her. Not that she would ever argue. When it came to the brunette Quinn was happy to be painted as the teenage boy – always eager and ready to go.

''I do love you, Quinn. So much.''

Rachel whispered sincerely. Quinn pulled the brunette as she heard the emotion running through her voice so that she could look at her properly. She lifted her hands to Rachel's face to brush away the hair that had fallen forward before cupping her face. One of her thumbs ran across those beautiful lips.

''I love you too Rach. Is everything okay? Did I upset you?''

Quinn's brow creased slightly as she started to get a little worried about the look in Rachel's eyes and the sudden emotion that had cropped up. But Rachel kissed her thumb and shook her head a little.

''No, beautiful. You're just...you're so perfect. I just want you to really know how much I love you.''

Smiling Quinn kissed Rachel's face.

''I know, Rachel.''

X*x*x*X

Quinn shouldered her way back into Rachel's apartment carefully after saying good morning to one of her neighbours before making her way inside. She held a drinks trey with a strong latte and a soy mocha for Rachel. She also gripped onto a takeout bag with their breakfast in it and had the morning's paper tucked under her arm.

Striding through the apartment and getting to the counter in the kitchen Quinn dumped her keys before letting the paper drop and putting their drinks and breakfast down carefully. She was about to turn around to get some plate but something caught her eye in the print of the paper and she picked it up to read it properly.

''Rachel Berry claims unknown 'girlfriend' in midst of rumours of getting back together with ex boyfriend hunk George Oakman after Giants star confesses residual feelings and hints at established contact. All will be revealed in tomorrows in depth interview with the Broadway star...what the fuck?''

No sooner as the words had left her mouth Rachel emerged from her bedroom. Having obviously realising that she was alone and pulling on some boy pants and a vest the still sleepy brunette stumbled out into the kitchen and smiled as she set eyes on her girlfriend.

''There you are, where'd'ya go I woke up all alone.''

Rachel mumbled sleepily through a small yawn as she rubbed her eyes and pattered barefoot toward the counter. On any other day Quinn would have found the display so adorable. She loved Rachel's sleepy moments. They were far and few between because Rachel was an abomination of nature because she woke up perky and ready to rock and roll.

Right now though her mind was swinging into a place that Santana would kill her for. All because of the fact that she had seen George's name. And before she could stop herself her demonic cheerleader side just took over as she threw the paper at the brunette.

''Maybe you should call up your fucking boyfriend then, huh? I can't believe you Rachel. What the fuck have you been doing behind my back?''

Rachel looked completely stunned. She looked from her irate girlfriend to the paper and back up again in alarm. Seriously, they could not have tried to fuck over her relationship more if they had tried.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N - Again a thank you kindly to those of you who commented/PM'd I really appreciate the feedback. I totally agree also that Quinn is doing some slight over reacting (wow, instead of Rachel for once!) but hopefully it will be understood why. I hope that I'm portraying her well through this and I hope to shed a strong light on her and by proxy Rachel and the strength between them. As always I am very open to thoughts/suggestions :)**

**Warning - A little flashback for Quinn here and some of the darker things she got up to.**

xxx

''This is a total misunderstanding Quinn.''

Rachel stated firmly as she lifted the paper up as she looked at her girlfriend unflinchingly. Quinn had begun pacing and the look on her face actually scared her.

''You need to do better than that Rachel because I'm about to walk out of the door.''

The blonde threatened angrily as she shot her a dirty look. Rachel flinched under the heated gaze and suddenly felt like she was that girl back in school that was terrified of her main tormentor despite that Quinn never lifted a finger against her. She had given orders though and right now she felt like that kid that knew something bad was coming her way as a gift from Quinn Fabray.

''I was blindsided, okay? He brought George up because of those rumours that I hadn't even heard about. I didn't do anything wrong.''

The singer tried to defend herself as she flopped the newspaper back onto the countertop. She knew this wasn't Brian's fault and that the paper had probably run it as a tactic to gain interest or something but she wished they had picked something other than George to slap over the headline.

''Has he contacted you? Do you want him back? Do you still love him?''

Rachel blinked at the offensive round of questions and started to get a little pissed off.

''No. You're being paranoid. Please just calm down so we can...''

''_You were in love with him_! Don't tell me to calm down! Don't tell me to do fucking anything. You tell me the god damn truth about him. Right now, Rachel.''

Quinn yelled harshly. Rachel flailed as she felt something snap. If this is what it was going to take to get her girlfriend to stop spiralling and to get over this weird paranoia once and for all about George then she had to do it. She had no real choice.

''I broke up with him for _you_! George asked me to marry him and I said yes but I ended it because of you.''

The brunette revealed firstly as a shout but then her voice faded into more of an emotional whisper. She had never ever told anyone that. She had never wanted to tell Quinn that. As far as she was concerned it had never happened. She just wanted to get on with things and have it never come up to see the light of day again.

She dragged her eyes up from staring at the paper to look at Quinn's face. Understandably – she was stunned. Her mouth was agape and her eyes were wide and shocked and stared right at her. The pacing had stopped and Rachel wasn't even sure if Quinn was even breathing right now.

As Rachel reflected she couldn't stop the tears from watering up in her eyes.

''Quinn you were...you were fucked up and you don't remember what happened that night. I never wanted to put that on you.''

Quinn looked at her oddly as the realisation of her words started to sink in.

''I was...I was there?''

Rachel nodded sadly. God she really didn't want to be doing this.

''You had started the show and at the time you hadn't figured out how to deal with some of the stuff in it and it got to you, remember? During the hiatus you were – you were hurting. Sophie had left you because you had pushed her away – again, and you didn't know how to balance things out right then. It was just a low point in a pretty good summer. You came to my apartment that night and you were so, _so _drunk. Again.''

''_Quinn! Oh my god...''_

_Rachel squeaked as she saw her best friend slumped and huddled by her apartment door her hands clutching a bottle that had been all but drunk. The blonde was awake but completely out of it. It wasn't the first time in the last couple of weeks since her girlfriend and her had broken up._

_It had been a long, long time since Quinn had been like this and Rachel knew it was partly her figuring out how to deal with herself and partly the fact that she had sabotaged a relationship to the point of no return. That was somewhat of a habit for her. It hurt Rachel that Quinn hurt herself by never being able to give that last part of herself – to not trust to that level where you could let yourself truly fall. _

_The Broadway star had turned the corner of the hallway laughing jovially with her boyfriend until she had seen her best friend and then all bets were off. She immediately dashed to her side and missed the annoyed look on George's face as he hovered in the hallway._

''_What're you doing, sweetheart?''_

_Rachel whispered as she had to literally hold Quinn's head up for her to look at her. Those dull hazel eyes looked back at her loosely and almost emptily. She knew Quinn knew it was her and that was a good thing but she just looked so unlike herself. Almost worse than when she had looked at her that night she had come to her home for help._

_Quinn wasn't unprofessional – this would never be happening if she wasn't on hiatus. She had held herself together until she was free to fall apart. _

''_Why the hell do you put up with this?''_

_George demanded grouchily as he watched Rachel fawn over Quinn. He was sick of the blonde's suddenly erratic behaviour and the fact that it always seemed to be Rachel that was picking up the pieces for her. She was a grown woman and she was acting like a child in his opinion._

_Rachel ignored him as she held one hand under Quinn's chin and stroked through her hair with the other._

''_Quinn, sweetheart? Did something happen?''_

_Rachel really despised asking things like that again but leant forward to listen to what her friend was trying to whisper to her. After a moment she nodded in sad understanding._

''_I know baby, it's okay. C'mere.''_

_Pulling Quinn into her the brunette wrapped her arms around her carefully and held her tight. Quinn didn't cry or make any kind of sudden movements she just let Rachel hold her tightly. She kissed her atop the head and whispered to her gently. _

_Quinn was scared. She was terrified that she would never outrun her past and that she would never let herself be happy. _

''_Call her a cab she can sleep it off at home.''_

_George grumbled angrily oblivious to what was underlying in the situation. Rachel glared up at him._

''_I will do no such thing. She's staying here with me.''_

''_I don't understand what the hell goes on between you and her. Nobody does.''_

_He pointed out. They were best friends but they took it to another level in his opinion. Everyone commented on it. The pet names and the constant physical contact and the time that was devoted to each other? Sometimes he wondered who Rachel was really dating. He didn't get it and it was difficult to have his time cut short for a friend. It was hard playing second fiddle when he knew he should have been first._

''_So what?''_

_George was a placid guy with a big heart but he didn't hesitate on calling something out when he took issue with it._

''_So what? Do you know how degrading it is for anyone in your life to come _after_ the best friend? You just said you'd _marry_ me Rachel and the first thing you do is ignore me for her.''_

_It had been such a good evening up until now. Everything had gone according to plan. He had bought the ring a week ago and had been waiting for his opportunity. Quinn had already messed his plan up by 'needing' Rachel with her the other day so their dinner plans had been rearranged for tonight. He had gotten them a near private table at a nice restaurant and he had asked Rachel to marry him. His world felt complete when she had said yes after shaking out of her stunned silence._

''_My being your fiancé _or_ your wife for that matter does not mean that I belong to you. I'm never going to be your perfect little woman. I've been dating you a year and god knows I love you but Quinn has been there for my _whole_ life, George. Do you get that? Do you have a friend like that?''_

_The tiny brunette challenged in demand. George had never acted like this and it immediately threw her back up because it was about Quinn. Her protectiveness and loyalty shifted into overdrive just like it always did if anyone should make trouble or a situation was out of hand._

''_No, but I have family. And I don't ignore you for anyone.''_

''_Quinn is my family. I really don't care if you understand that or not, or anyone else for that matter. You should just know right now that it is never going to change.''_

_It seemed effortless to say. George had never really spoken with this much feeling about her relationship with Quinn before – upon their meeting and starting to date she had explained to him that her best friend was her family. That she couldn't explain why but they were bound together and that was that. He had never taken too much issue with it. They had been dating for this long without a problem but now there was one Rachel was speaking with a resolution and conviction and even threat that George had never quite heard before._

_It was said as though it were a fixed thing and he needed it not to be. He needed his now fiancé to realise how heavy this made a relationship. It was practically an affair at this point. How could you agree to marry someone and have someone else take priority over them? He knew that all best friends had to be a little bit in love but this was ridiculous. _

''_I need it to change. I need to know that you'll put me first. That you won't go running off to her instead of me. That you won't take her phone calls or put up with her turning up like this.''_

''_Is that an ultimatum?''_

''_I don't want it to be but if it has to be then yes. I'm not saying you can't be friends with her but...''_

_He trailed off and Rachel snickered and rolled her eyes._

''_That's exactly what you're saying. I love you so much. I do. I want to marry you and make a life together. I've accepted your life. Your family and your idiotic friends that think they're awesome because they can throw a ball around. I've accepted that one good bad blow and you could die for a game, George. A game. _

_Your brother is a jerk that insults me constantly because he thinks I'm white. I love you and that's your life so I accept. But I have a life too. And all I've ever wanted from you is to respect it. Quinn is part of that life and it will never change. _

_You have no idea what we've been through together and I will never, ever tell you either. I will always be there for her just like she's always there for me. If you can't respect that, if you can't accept it, then I'm sorry but I cannot be your wife. I'm sorry.''_

_Somewhere along her speech Rachel had begun to cry and she had pulled off the ring that he had given her and held it back up to him. She literally shook with the sorrow she felt but she couldn't marry someone who gave ultimatums like that – particularly not about Quinn. There was no force on the earth that could stop her from being there for Quinn._

_Rachel had put up with those things that she had spoken of. The fact that George's brother had a problem with the fact that his brother was dating someone who wasn't black too – and the fact that as a football player George left himself wide open to serious injury and worse. If she could negotiate through that then there was no way he couldn't not negotiate around her friendship with Quinn. He was being petulant and it was showing a side of him she hadn't seen before. A more chauvinistic side that she didn't like. He really was a good man but she couldn't do this with him._

''_Can't we just talk about this?''_

''_Why? You gave me an ultimatum. I can't be with someone who does that.''_

_Rachel stated as she still held Quinn close and tried to wipe the tears away. Every time she did more fell._

''_I can't believe you. You're just picking her over me? Do you realise what you're giving up?''_

_Rachel blinked at him before she looked at Quinn again. The taller woman was slumped into her arms and her fingers pushed back some blonde hair gently. She could not even put into words how much hurt she was feeling right now. George was...she couldn't even describe him. He had been so good to her since day one and he had treated her so well and even in their most heated arguments he had never made her feel like this._

_But it wasn't even a question. Lifting her eyes up from Quinn again she nodded once._

''_Yes, I do. I love you. But she's my soul mate. I will always chose her.''_

Rachel swallowed the hard lump in her throat as she finished the summery of what happened in a cracked whisper. Tears had begun to fall from her eyes and she sniffled as she wiped them away with her hand. She didn't know exactly why she was crying. Perhaps that the memory perhaps at the residual hurt,or just because she had never wanted to do this.

Eventually she looked back up at Quinn who she had looked away from her at some point in the recounting of the situation.

''I told him to leave and he did. I hauled your ass inside and you had no idea what happened in that hallway. You were already so hurt over Sophie bailing on you that I couldn't tell you what really happened.''

Quinn opened and closed her mouth a couple of times as she tried to formulate a response as a thousand thoughts danced across her eyes and face.

''I can't...Rachel...''

''There is no one – _no one_ Quinn, that I want to be with more than you. There never has been. I am completely and hopelessly yours. Do you understand that? What we had went deeper than what I had with George and what we have now? It eclipses the sun, okay? You've always had my soul and now you have my everything as well. I'm just...yours.''

Quinn literally couldn't catch a thought quick enough. They ran through her mind so quickly that it was empty. She obviously remembered having a bad few weeks that summer and Rachel as always had been there for her. And when Rachel had split up with George she had been there for her right back. They had figured things out together and helped one another to cope.

How could she have never told her this? How could she have given up so much for her? It was staggering.

''I can't believe I did that to you. You were heartbroken Rachel.''

Quinn husked emotionally as she bit her lip and shot Rachel a wounded look. She was crying too but it was for Rachel and what she had done without her ever knowing.

''It was my choice. It has always been my choice. The truth is I've always loved you more. I would have broken without you.''

Quinn shook her head as she stepped back. All she could keep thinking was that she had ruined something so precious to Rachel. That she had just wrecked her life. Maybe she would have missed out on this if it had never happened but that didn't mean that Rachel couldn't have been happier with George. How could they ever know? Maybe she would have babies by now and be wonderfully happy and leading a great life.

How would they ever know who she should have been with and who would make her happiest in the long run? At least George didn't have the nasty habit of self destructing and sabotaging every relationship he stepped into. He had been willing to offer Rachel something real and hadn't been scared to do so. What had she done? She had bailed herself out of every relationship and even with women had walked away from her it had generally been because she had made them.

''I...I'm sorry I need to think. I'll call you.''

Quinn muttered as she dropped her eye contact. Before Rachel could even protest Quinn had picked up her keys and was out of the door leaving her girlfriend stood there in silence in her wake.

Rachel had always known that Quinn's 'I'll call you' was a death sentence.

X*x*x*X

Quinn had already taken a muscle burning run through the city before she had made it home to drag her ass into the shower. The exercise had done little to alleviate the thoughts whirling through her mind and the sickening feeling that had taken up residence in her stomach. In the shower the water had been hot and powerful and she had just stood there letting it burn into her.

This felt like a familiar road. An all too familiar road.

The blonde hadn't lingered at her apartment because she didn't want to find Rachel using that damn key that she had given her. So she had dressed quickly and grabbed a bag and a camera and headed out. She had no idea where she was going but she just walked. She signed a few random autographs and smiled pleasantly for requested photographs as she had stumbled into fans and it seemed surreal to be doing that in the midst of her personal life hitting the ground so hard that it bounced.

Quinn found herself angry at Rachel for keeping such a huge secret when she knew she hated them. Then again the brunette had been trying to protect her so she could kind of understand. Quinn hated to be molly coddled though it was the worst feeling in the world. She hated being tip toed around like she was some fragile doll that would break if she was told the truth.

She wasn't under any self delusion that she was perfect or that she wasn't screwed up or didn't ever screw things up. Quinn knew for a fact that she was and she did.

Sighing Quinn lifted up her camera to take another shot. It was a hobby that she indulged in that usually helped her to think and made her feel a little better. Central Park was a wonderful place to go anyway but it had a lot of places to take pictures of. Right now it was alive and brimming with activity.

Just as Quinn was about to take another shot of a little boy and his sister she was forced to take a step forward as she felt something fun into the back of her legs. Turning around she looked down at a little girl – maybe four or five – who looked a little confused as to why she was on the ground right now.

''Hey, are you okay?''

Quinn knelt down and helped the little girl sit up. She was so cute with curly blonde hair and precious little blue eyes. Those little eyes looked upset though as they blinked up at her sadly.

''I losted my Mommy.''

The actress looked around to scan for signs of any frantic looking woman running around looking for her daughter. She saw none. Shoving her camera into her shoulder bag Quinn looked over the little sniffling girl and brushed her hair back gently.

''Did you hurt yourself?''

The girl shook her head.

''What's your name sweetheart?''

''Lucy.''

''Okay Lucy, I'm Quinn. Let's see if we can find your Mommy, huh?''

The girl nodded and let Quinn pick her up as she stood up. It made her latent maternal instincts stir a little at having a little girl sat on her hip and clinging to her. She pushed her own feelings aside though as she looked around the park again. There were a lot of families and kids moving around but as of yet no one looked terrified that their daughter was missing.

Lucy said her Mom's name was Claire and that she was tall with brown hair and blue eyes. Aside from that Lucy had no other details to offer. She couldn't remember where about they had gotten separated and she couldn't remember where she lived or anything like that. If she had had a phone number she would have called it so she could meet this Claire somewhere and give her back her kid. Unfortunately she had nothing to go one except for a vague description from the little girl in her arms.

Quinn thought that if she couldn't find the woman within 15 minutes or so then she would find a cop or the nearest precinct or something.

''M'scared.''

Quinn looked at the little girl.

''It's okay sweetie, we'll find your Mommy. She'll be looking for you right now but if we can't find her then we'll go find a police officer to help us okay?''

The actress reasoned gently. She gave the girl a reassuring squeeze and ran her hand through her hair gently. She really was a cute kid and it flipped her stomach to see her so sad. It seemed that they were both scared right now.

''Will's you stay wid me?''

''Sure honey.''

''Do you has any babies?''

The little girl squeaked curiously. Oh out of the mouths of babes.

''No, I don't sweetheart. I'd like to one day though.''

The blonde girl offered her a sweet smile though she was still obviously upset. Her little hands clutched onto her, one tangled in her hair and the other fiddled with the necklace that she was wearing. Quinn wondered if Beth would have done this. If she would have shucked her up on her hip like she had Lucy and carried her easily with the little girl clutching her tiny little hands on her as she did. She wondered what kind of conversations they would have had together.

Sometimes she found herself fantasising about Beth. About how soft her hair was and how it smelt. What the sound of her voice was and even more so what her laughter was like. Out of all the little things that she wondered about Quinn found herself desperate to know the sound of her daughter's laughter. But she wasn't her Mom and she didn't get to know that. Shelby was her Mom and from the yearly update – which was already a kind gesture – she was taking wonderful care of her. Beth always looked so happy and her eyes sparkled brightly and that was all Quinn truly cared about.

What she said to Lucy was true, too – she did want kids of her own one day. She always had but she had never found anyone to settle down with to go that far. That was until of course there was Rachel.

She wanted kids with Rachel.

Lucy kept asking her questions for the next few minutes as Quinn made her way through the park and the blonde wondered if the girl was going to grow up as a reporter or a Detective because she pried half of her life story out of her in that time. It was pretty sweet.

''Lucy, is that your Mommy over there?''

Quinn pointed across a wide stretch of grass to a woman that seemed to fit the child's description and was also frantically running around. She was shouting something but she was too far away for Quinn to make it out. Lucy looked over and sat up in her arms immediately.

''_Mommy_! Thad my Mommy! You's founded her!''

The actress felt a surge of relief wash over her and she quickly began to make her way across the grass and held onto Lucy securely as she bounced happily and waved emphatically to try and get her Mother's attention. She kept shouting but her voice was too high pitched and weak to gain the woman's attention. As Claire turned on her heel to walk in the opposite direction Quinn lifting her hand up to her mouth and put a couple of fingers in to whistle loudly.

''_Claire_!''

That the woman heard. She swung around and immediately caught sight of them and made a weird relieved type noise as she bolted toward them. Lucy laughed as she got nearer to her Mother and held her arms out and tilted forward. As soon as Claire got close enough she swooped up her daughter and cried and laughed at the same time as she hugged her tightly.

''Oh my god oh my god you're safe. Oh thank god. Lucy don't _ever _run off like that again. Do you understand? Not ever again.''

The woman was so happy to have her daughter in her arms that she hardly sounded mad – just emotional. Lucy would probably get in trouble later but for right now it was just one giant relief that nothing bad had happened to her. It was understandable and Quinn would have probably been shaking and crying like she was too.

''M'sorry Mommy I didn't means to get lost-ed n' I founded a nice lady dat help-ted me finds you.''

The girl rambled all at once.

''Well we need to thank the nice la...oh my god your Quinn Fabray.''

Claire looked at her daughter's rescuer to become even more shocked to find herself face to face with the TV actress. She had forgotten the outside world for the long moments of just knowing that Lucy was safe and as she looked up she was hit with realisation and the words just fell out of her mouth.

Quinn smiled softly and ran her hand through her hair.

''Hi.''

Lucy chose that moment to sit up in her Mother's arms.

''Quinn is really nice Mommy she help-ted me n' she wants babies likes you n' she's sad too 'cos she felled out wid somebody she cares 'bout n' so she came to da park 'cos she takes lots of pictures!''

Claire and Quinn both looked at the girl as she poured out the information she had retained.

''Wow, okay. I'm so sorry if she interrogated you, she's kind of...inquisitive.''

Claire blushed lightly at the realisation that her daughter had probably been talking the actresses' ears off and maybe had asked one too many questions. Quinn just smiled though as she shrugged lightly.

''Oh don't worry about it; you have a lovely daughter I'm just glad that we found you. Besides I think she kinda helped me out a little bit too.''

Quinn smiled brightly though still with the world of emotion she had been suffering since this morning. Being with this little girl for only a short while had made her think without realising it. Maybe because she had been able to focus on something else for a while it had let her process somewhat.

So she wasn't completely over the incident at Rachel's apartment and she still didn't know how to feel about everything and yes she was still worried that Rachel had made a mistake but she knew in the pit of her stomach that she wanted certain things from life.

She wanted love and she wanted a family. She wanted those things with Rachel. Not that she hadn't felt that before but right now it was so clear to her. Rachel meant everything and that's why this was hurting so much. The one person that she would usually run to in a time of crisis like this _was _the person she was running from right now. It scared her.

Quinn couldn't bear knowing that she had caused so much pain in Rachel's life because she had been there in the aftermath of her and George's leaving. It had crushed Rachel and she had done that to her. She had forced her hand in splitting up with a man that she loved – someone who could have given her so much. A man that didn't come with the baggage she came with. He could have made her so happy – offered her a normal and happy relationship and life.

What if she was simply second fiddle to that? Rachel hadn't told him to leave because she had been _in _love with her she had told him to leave because she refused to give up on the cause that was her best friend.

Claire had insisted on thanking Quinn in some way for finding and returning her daughter and eventually Quinn had managed to convince her that a simple coffee would be fine. She didn't really want anything but apparently Claire wasn't about to take no for an answer so she had insisted that coffee was perfectly fine.

That's how she ended up sitting on a park bench with the other woman watching Lucy play with some other kids on the playground.

''She seems like a handful.''

The blonde mused with a smile as Lucy squealed loudly and ran around with the other kids as they played some game or other. Claire chuckled and nodded slowly.

''She certainly is. I'm just happy she's here; we had been trying for so long before I got pregnant. Now I wonder how we managed life without her in it. I can barely remember life before Lucy.''

''She's a lucky girl having a Mom like you. Not all of us are so lucky.''

Quinn said it with a smile and a genuine sincerity. She really was glad that the kid had a decent Mother that thought the world of her and would clearly do anything for her. The actress wouldn't forget that lost look she had seen in Claire's eyes and the instant relief she had at clapping eyes on Lucy again. Relief was actually an understatement – it was like life made sense again and her heart had begun to beat once more.

She wished that she'd had a Mom like that. That was so caring and loving and supportive. Given Lucy's sweet and curious nature and the ease in which she had asked her lots of questions clearly meant that she was well nurtured. It meant that she was just a happy little girl that loved her Mommy and probably a Daddy judging from Claire's wedding ring.

It was nice to see. But Quinn still knew that she had said to much as she felt Claire's eyes stare at her speculatively. She knew she had said too much but she couldn't fathom the energy to care.

''Well we can all make up for the sins of our Mother's.''

Quinn looked at the other woman quickly as her mouth fell open a little and her brow creased in a frown.

''It took me a long time to figure out that I wasn't the alcoholic, neglectful woman that my Mother was. My relationship with Lucy is everything I always wished mine was with her. When I finally allowed myself to be loved and to love I ended up getting everything I ever wanted.''

Claire explained at the questioning look that Quinn gave her. The blonde swallowed the lump in her throat. It seemed that she had a lot in common with this stranger from the park. It struck something in her not just because Claire seemed to have suffered a similar family fate but also because she had managed to overcome it and changed her life into something quite different. She was also managing to be the kind of Mother that every child deserved.

''Well I guess therein lies my problem. I'm not sure I know how to do either of those last parts. I have a nasty habit of sabotaging every good thing I have. Including what I have now.''

Claire smiled warmly.

''Is that why you're in the park rescuing little girls?''

Quinn laughed and nodded as she glanced at her coffee cup for a moment.

''Pretty much. I'm trying to work out if she loved him more than me. Or if she would have ever been with me now if things hadn't turned out the way they did.''

The blonde confessed sheepishly. There was no doubt in her mind how much she loved Rachel. She was her world for so many reasons and it literally made her heart ache to think of her losing what they had been building. It hurt her just as much to let herself wonder if things would have been different – if she hadn't turned up drunk that night – would Rachel have married him therefore never falling in love with her? It had been pure fluke that she had even been available to fall for her – what did that say about their relationship?

''If she loves you – truly loves you – does it matter? Life throws curveballs and whatever happened led you two to being together. If it's real then who cares about how it happened, right?''

Quinn looked at the other woman. She sounded just like Rachel. Rachel who was probably sat at home upset and worried and blaming herself. Rachel who was probably ready to believe that this was the beginning of the end because she had walked out with the hollow promise that she had never kept with any other woman in her life. God why did she have to hurt her all of the time?

Why did she have to inflict pain so much? It was like she just infected everyone around her. Rachel was just trying to love her and Claire was right despite the way it had happened she still loved her. Quinn didn't doubt the depth of Rachel's love for her and she had believed her when she said she was hers. But did that really matter if Quinn was only going to expose her to pain all the time?

Quinn talked a little more to Claire and they had ended up having quite a decent conversation. Once the 'celebrity factor' wore off and Claire forgot that she was talking to an actress she just talked as though they knew one another and it was a nice feeling for Quinn. It helped her to gain some perspective as well as dispel some here and there advice and insight of her own.

Eventually Quinn had swapped emails with the woman which she usually never did but they had established somewhat of a bond. After saying goodbye to her and to Lucy the thoughtful blonde began to stroll around some more.

After roaming the streets and taking more photographs and posing for a few as well as signing more autographs Quinn ended up at one of her favourite cafes. As she settled into a plush leather armchair with a huge cup of coffee where she could stare out the window and people watch.

After a while Quinn picked up her phone and quickly typed out a text.

**Q: **I need you. Meet me at Daisy's. Q xx

20 minutes later and one seriously pissed off Latina was sat across from Quinn with a scowl on her face and her arms folded across her chest. She had listened to the quick and snappy and rather uncomfortable explanation that Quinn had given her and now the blonde fidgeted under the scrutiny.

''You have _got _to be fucking kidding me.''

''San...''

''No. Shut up. When I said I would beat you until you were smart again? I didn't think I would be doing it this fucking soon. Are you just like – a total moron? Do you _like _being dysfunctional? Look I get it, okay. You were fucked over and shit Q, living with that everyday must be agony. But you've let yourself come so far in so many ways.

You live in a swanky apartment in New York. You're a successful actress. You're gunna get an Emmy for crying out loud. Why can't you just let yourself be loved? That little midget worships you and god help me for saying this but she's a sweetheart. Do you get the moral of the story of what happened with her and George, blondie? She said you were her soul mate. Even then.

She was in love with you even then but she just didn't know it because you've always been there in her life. You've always been in love with her too – why the fuck do you think that you turned up at her door instead of mine? Just...will you just let yourself be loved for once and stop thinking that you're not worth it cos you are.''

Quinn shook her head slowly as she bit her lip and tears slid out of her eyes.

''I'm not.''

''Yes. You. Are. Just because your Father did what he did...''

''No. It's not about him. What he did wasn't my fault and I know that. What _I _did Santana – what I did, what you had to pull me out of, that _was _my fault.''

''_Q I know you're in there get the fuck out here right now.''_

_Santana barked aggressively as she banged so hard on the door of the motel she thought it might fly off the hinges at any moment. There was the telltale signs of movement inside along with a little thump and clatter but no one came to the door._

_It was late on a Friday night and she had been getting her mack on with the ever delectable Brittney but then Rachel had called her in a frantic panic that she had 'lost' Quinn. Apparently they had been out for a walk (which Quinn wanted to go on by herself but Rachel insisted on accompanying her). When she went into a store to grab a drink for them both Quinn had vanished._

_So here Santana was looking for her friend while Rachel was probably ready to call the police by now. Brittney was still with her and Santana was hitting up the places that she knew a screwed up teen would go. Unfortunately that included the very seedy motel on the very edge of town. After interrogating the manager she found out her friend was indeed here._

''_I _will _knock this door down and drag your ass out of there.''_

_The Latina threatened. Her outward disposition was anger and aggression but Santana felt something very different on the inside. She felt panic and fear and a lot of feelings that she always claimed not to have. This was her best friend and the lump in her throat and the stomach that flipped in her gut told her that she was in serious trouble and the last vestiges of innocence that anyone was holding onto had been obliterated. Especially for Quinn. _

''_Hey, how about you either come on in here and join in or you get lost?''_

_Santana glared at the guy that finally snapped open the door. He was vaguely familiar – maybe one of her sisters' classmates which would put him at maybe 22 or 23. He was that rock star scruffy looking with no shirt and had obviously just yanked on his jeans to answer the door. He was all tattooed and piercings and he looked at her in a way that made her skin crawl._

_The schoolgirl looked into the room and saw the messy bed and the liquor bottles and pushed the guy aside as she strode in toward the blonde that she spotted huddled on a chair near the bed. She had her feet on the edge of the seat and hugged her knees to her chest. Her hair was all messy and Santana didn't bat an eyelid to the fact that she was naked._

''_Hey.''_

_The brunette said softly as she crouched down in front of Quinn. She had to swallow the upset that threatened to burst out and force tears out of her eyes at the look in Quinn's eyes. This empty, demoralised look that Santana didn't think anyone should ever have inside them but especially not a 17 year old girl. Quinn looked at her with that look mixed with desperation, fear and hurt. _

''_Hi.''_

_Santana put her hands on Quinn's face supportively. _

''_I'm taking you home now, okay?''_

_Quinn nodded._

''_Yeah.''_

_Santana turned and stretched out to grab Quinn's jeans and the sweater she had apparently been wearing and helped her shrug them on. She made sure there was nothing hanging around of hers and picked up her discarded underwear and the t-shirt she had worn under the sweater as she took hold of Quinn's hand and squeezed it tightly._

''_Where the hell do you think you're taking her? We were having a good time, right baby?''_

_The idiot guy protested as he hovered by the door. _

''_This girl is 17! Get the fuck out of our way and don't you ever, _ever _look in her direction again.''_

_Santana pushed him out of the way so hard that he actually stumbled back onto the old shell of a chest of drawers and then they were out of the door. Neither one of them said anything as Santana confidently lead Quinn along the walkway and down the steps into the parking lot. She was just relieved that she had her with her and she could take her home again. _

_As they got to the car Quinn leant against it heavily. Santana stood in front of her and cupped her face again, rubbing away the slowly emerging tears from hazel eyes with her thumbs._

''_What's wrong with me?''_

_The blonde asked softly with a cut up and self loathing voice. Santana sighed slowly._

''_You're hurting, Q.''_

''_I hate myself. I just...you should just have left me there. I deserve everything I get.''_

''_Hey, that's my best friend you're talking about there. Some fucked up things have happened to you but you are _not _worthless and if you say that again I'll kick your skinny white ass. I get wanting to fuck the pain away or whatever – you trying to prove to yourself sex is all you're worth but Q you have got to stop this. Screwing random people in seedy motels? Do you understand what could have happened? _

_You can beat this 'cos you're stronger than you think and you have me to push you and I will. You think you need sex to get you through something then fine, you come to me and _I'll_ fuck you senseless. Just not this – don't do this. Please? I'm actually begging you here.''_

_Quinn stared at her friend with the most bewildered look that had ever graced anyone's face throughout time. Santana was crying and she could see the love in her eyes and the actual sincerity in her voice was overwhelming. She had come here all alone looking for her and the blonde had no doubt that if the door hadn't have been answered she would have kicked her way through it. Now she was offering to be there for her like that so she wouldn't do this again? _

_It actually might have been one of the nicest things anyone had ever said to her in a weird way. _

''_Why...why would you do that for me?''_

_Santana didn't hesitate in her answer._

''_Because I love you, Q. I love you and I have your back – you're getting through this, whatever it takes.''_

''We all know what I did. After the baby was born I must have screwed half the town...do you realise what could have happened to you coming to find me like that? What am I even thinking dragging someone like Rachel down like this? She's so...perfect and I destroyed a really good thing for her. George isn't tainted or broken or fucking any of those damaged things. I am. I'm damaged goods – why did I ever think I would be good enough?''

As it turned out Quinn had never cashed in on Santana's offer despite knowing that the Latina had been serious. She would have slept with her if she had needed her to just to stop her from going somewhere else. Quinn may not have gone about it so dangerously again but it's not like she had really stopped. Fucking the pain away had turned into sleeping around and sleeping around had turned into switching girlfriends. Somewhere along the line she became a womaniser instead of a slut – she didn't understand the rules of that except the difference of age.

''Have you met your girlfriend, Q? Because I think you need to be re-introduced. The girl is your biggest fan. She knows exactly what you've been through – more than the rest of us. She has always adored you. She's the girl that slapped your Father and practically ripped some jocks balls off your first day back at school.

She's been there for you with open arms and unconditional love. You must be retarded if you think she thinks you're tainted. So you slept around – so what? Everyone is damaged in some way but it doesn't mean shit. Think of it the other way around – if it were Rachel would you think she was tainted or whatever?''

''No of course...''

''No, you wouldn't. You'd just love her – like she loves you.''

Quinn sighed as she was cut off by Santana and frowned thoughtfully. Biting her bottom lip she dropped her eyes from Santana's to her phone. It was hard to even shut Rachel out. She didn't want to and all she really wanted was to go home and wrap her up in her arms and hold on tight.

Last night had been so wonderful. All the quiet and whispered words as they had stretched out on the couch together after making love. The way that Rachel looked at her as her fingertips drifted across her skin. Those eyes and that smile made her heart flip just thinking about them.

Quinn checked her messages and saw only one from Rachel. The only one she truly needed.

Rachel: _Come home. R xxx_

Quinn was so sick of herself. She was so sick of doing this over and over again. She pushed people away and convinced herself it was for the best because she was damaged. She convinced herself that no matter how well she did and how good her life was underneath it all she was still infected. She didn't even believe it was true anymore – but it was just the excuse she used to not throw herself into things. Because people hurt other people. Not even little girl's were safe from their Daddy's and so therefore in her head that meant her heart wasn't safe with anyone.

Only Rachel had been taking care of it for almost 11 years.

X*x*x*X

One very guilty and sorrowful actress walked back into Rachel's apartment perhaps 30 minutes later. The space was still and quiet and for a moment Quinn's heart stopped as her breath paused as her ears listened for signs that Rachel was home. There was nothing to indicate that she was. That was until the blonde heard a faint noise from the kitchen. Relieved she began to walk toward it.

Silently she leant on the doorframe to gaze at her girlfriend. Rachel solemnly negotiated around her kitchen as she dragged things that she needed across to the island she stood at. She looked tired and worried and just plain sad. It made Quinn feel nauseas to see. This wasn't just the puppy dog sad eyes they were forlorn and lost.

After a moment of staring down at the chopping board utensils and ingredients that Rachel had dully pulled together as though she had forgotten what she was doing with them in the first place – the brunette lifted her head and looked straight into Quinn's eyes.

''You're home.''

She stated softly not exactly knowing what she should say. Not knowing what Quinn was going to do or say. Her heart thumped so hard against her chest she thought she was going to faint.

Quinn offered a faintly reassuring look as she stepped into the kitchen slowly and neared the island with a sheepish expression.

''It's my turn to cook, right? It's not like I can leave my girlfriend to starve to death.''

The taller woman offered lightly as she smiled gently and dared to lift her hand up to push back a strand of silky hair from Rachel's face.

''I'm still your girlfriend?''

Rachel whispered hopefully as she blinked up at the blonde. She let her hand find Quinn's and squeezed it gently. She watched as the mixture of emotions danced through those hazel orbs as she tried to remain composed.

''For as long as you'll have me.''

Rachel moved to wipe some of the tears that slid slowly down the blonde's face.

''That would be forever, then.''

Quinn surged forward and wrapped her arms around Rachel tightly as she let everything come out. Like demons being exorcised from her she sobbed and released the ghosts and the shackles that had been keeping her from ever loving someone wholeheartedly and that which told her that she shouldn't. All those voices telling her bad things in the dark when the world was still and she was wide awake she was forcing out of herself now.

And like that night a million years ago she held onto Rachel and let Rachel hold onto her as she sobbed and they ended up in a heap on the floor.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N - Once again thanks to everyone that have commented its been really cool. And thank you to the couple of prompters I hope I'll do them justice and they do emerge in this chapter but will also carry over a little bit to fulfill them too :D Hope this is a delicate balance of love, laughter, lust and heartfelt friendship!**

**XXX**

Quinn hadn't slept. She was on too much of a high. Running from hot to cold to hot again had triggered her insomniac habits. She got like that sometimes. When her mind ticked over or she was being super creative. Sometimes when she was overly emotional or just wholly apathetic. She had done a lot of sleep avoidance back in the day –too scared to sleep because of the nightmares so she had pushed herself to ultimate endurance and staved off exhaustion for as long as possible. She had looked and felt like the freaking walking dead.

This wasn't like that now though. It was just that everything that happened her brain was on overload as she thought about everything and anything. Everything about her past and how and why she had sought Rachel of all people to confide in and how easily she had given her the control. How really Rachel had always had that control in her life because Quinn had been slightly dependant on her ever since. Not in a needy incompetent way but a way that just meant that Rachel had always been in the centre of her life and she always gravitated back toward her.

She thought about the life Rachel had given up and how irrational it was to try and compare this one to that because of course they would be entirely different. She might have married George and been totally miserable within a year or two. They might have fallen in love anyway and Rachel would have been put in an impossible position of choosing between her husband and her. It could have gone a million ways and it wasn't fair to anyone for her to hold up those possibilities to cut herself off with.

Yes she was terrified but she knew she could make Rachel happy or at least die trying and that's what had to matter. She may not have any experience in doing it but she wanted to and she loved Rachel so much and her heart was already hers. It might as well have had 'property of Rachel Berry' tattooed on it. Its something that she had never given anyone else before so she believed this could work. She believed in Rachel.

The blonde stood on the end of the bed and pointed the camera at the sleeping brunette. It was morning and she knew Rachel would be waking up soon and the shading was perfect. Her position in the bed was perfect.

Rachel was stretched out on her stomach with her face turned onto her right cheek so her face was toward the windows. Her right arm was stretched out under the pillow; her left arched just out on the mattress a little. Her hair was draped across her perfectly and she looked so peaceful. Her back was at a perfect arch and the side of her breast was just a little exposed discretely. She was perfect. The thin white sheet was pooled around her legs the hem of it barely reaching to the curve of her amazing ass. Her skin was perfect contrast to the covers and the light from the windows cast perfect shading. All in all Quinn had been unable to do anything other but grab the camera she had left here and snap some pictures. It was a shutter camera with real film.

So that's where she came to find herself now. Stood on the bed angling her camera lens down to snap the beauty that was a sleeping Rachel Berry.

The clicking was her undoing though because the brunette stirred just ever so slightly and Quinn could tell that she was waking up.

''Don't move baby.''

Quinn advised gently as she pressed the shutter a couple more times. Rachel grunted sleepily.

''Mmm…what're you doing?''

''Taking your picture. You look so beautiful and peaceful.''

Again with the clicking. Rachel indulged Quinn's photographic moment. She loved cameras and had a lot of them and they actually both enjoyed photography. This wasn't the first time that Quinn had taken her picture there had been many times when they had been out or with friends and things like that. Quinn had the uncanny talent to catch her in a thoughtful moment when she was staring out into space. She had great timing.

Rachel couldn't help but turn a little so that she could look up at Quinn properly. She bent her arm so she could prop her head up and look up that the blonde towering above her. She could see her smirk from behind the camera and arch an eyebrow.

''Careful Rach, you're flirting with a very tasteful nude pose there.''

The taller girl teased with a mischievous chuckle as she snapped up some more pictures. The new angle was indeed quite more exposed than the other but mainly showed off Rachel's form rather than bared her unmentionables. Just a little more of the side of her breast. She was a little more awake but caught between being sleepiness and wakefulness. Plus a little mischief of her own.

What really came through into the camera were the comfort and the love in those dark eyes of hers.

''What if I just flirt with the photographer?''

The brunette wondered slyly. Quinn grinned as she snapped some more shots swaying from side to side a little for angle purposes.

''Well she has a girlfriend that's dumb enough to keep her, so I don't think you'd score with her.''

Rachel dropped her jaw in mock offense at being called dumb but the sentiment didn't go unacknowledged. She knew what Quinn was saying and she knew that in the light of day they could get on with their lives together while working on anything that came up. Quinn was trying to tell her that she was okay. A little shaken still and obviously thoughtful with plenty of things that would turn over in her head – but okay.

''So…what if I entice her? What then?''

''How would you do that?''

Rachel smirked with more than a little mischief now as she rolled around properly making Quinn drop her jaw and lower the camera slightly to look Rachel in the eye properly. The sheet was low on her abdomen exposing her athletic v but kept her modesty at the last possible inch. The rest of her was exposed though and Rachel tucked her right arm under her head the left still draped on the mattress. Her hair spilled around her like a mane and she was just breathtaking.

All that irresistible skin on show made Quinn's breathing hitch and her tongue roll slowly across her lips.

''Really?''

Rachel made a barely there nod as her eyes sparkled up at her girlfriend. Quinn smiled down at her before lifting the camera up again and taking a series of shots. It was clear how much she was being trusted right now because Rachel didn't just let people take naked pictures of her. She was careful about that kind of thing and Quinn knew even though Rachel had done all but naked she was still shy on actually going through with it. She'd consider it for Broadway probably TV but only if it was substantive to the plot.

''Is this enticing enough?''

The brunette questioned suggestively feeling oddly comfortable in front of the camera like this but only because it was Quinn behind it.

''You're beautiful, Rachel. Truly.''

The gravity in Quinn's hushed voice made Rachel flush just a little knowing that Quinn really thought that she was looking at the most beautiful thing in the world. It was weird that she could strip down and do things on stage or in front of cameras – kiss people and touch people and be in costumes and underwear and she didn't even blink. She could wear whatever she wanted to wear and she didn't blink. But this? Someone calling her beautiful in the way Quinn did? It sent her dizzy and made a lump form in her throat and her skin tingle.

It's because she wasn't just bare to Quinn she was truly exposed because the blonde saw right into her like she was transparent. Even with the people she had loved she had never quite felt like that before. Quinn's intensity could not be rivalled.

Quinn bit her lower lip as she daringly angled her foot to pull the sheet away from her girlfriend fully. She knew it might have been pushing it a little bit but she couldn't resist the temptation.

''I better get to sleep with the photographer now, girlfriend be damned.''

Rachel grumbled playfully as Quinn looked like a kid on christmas day behind that damn camera she could see her practically bouncing on her feet and feel the mattress beneath her vibrate gently. She continued to bite her lip as she snapped her pictures happily and it made Rachel happy to see her girlfriend like that. Eventually though she got impatient and pushed Quinn's leg with her foot.

''Payment please!''

The blonde laughed before she compliantly flopped down onto the bed and tucked herself into Rachel's side. She lifted up the camera and clicked it a couple of times to get them both together in the shot. Then she turned and continued to click as she looked at Rachel before closing the short gap between them and kissing her slowly and thoroughly. When she was satisfied she rolled over Rachel and put the camera on the bedside table the same time as she pushed a cotton covered thigh between Rachel's legs.

''I have 45 minutes to rock your world but then we have to meet Santana and Brittney for breakfast.''

Rachel didn't have time to object because of the welcomed kiss that was placed on her mouth. There were definitely worse ways to wake up and start the day.

X*x*x*X

Oh the glory of a phone tree was indeed grand as was the glory of gossip. As it turned out neither Quinn nor Rachel had had to do much to get found out by their collective friends. It wasn't Santana or Brittney that had spilled the beans nor Will or Emma or anyone from the set or any of Rachel's stage friends.

It was however the tiniest of slips from Rachel's Dad's. They had been unaware that they weren't supposed to say anything to anyone – so when Burt Hummel had casually asked how things were going for Rachel in New York as her Dad's had enquired about Kurt over a bust exhaust on their car the preverbal cat was let out of the bag. And that's how it had gotten started.

Burt had learned of the new development between Rachel and Quinn and Finn had overheard too. The news had travelled right back to Kurt and within the day the entire Glee club had been alerted because Kurt trying to keep a secret? It just didn't work too well.

The first call had been Tina's to Rachel. Unknowingly the self proclaimed goth had called the brunette while she was pacing around wondering if there was still a relationship to be talking about with Quinn – but she had relented and smiled as she recounted the happenings to her friend.

Tina Cohen-Chang was the author of some rather popular vampire books that were much more adult and believable and well – _better_ than crap like Twilight and Harry Potter. She lived out in Los Angeles but frequently travelled here and back to Ohio for various business and personal reasons. Tina had married a man by the name of Clay Walker and she now had a 2-year-old son – Kai. He was a sweet little kid.

So that was the fate of one Tina Cohen-Chang (a name she had kept for her books). Anyway she had been very pleased over the phone and demanded that the next time she was in town that they catch up for Rachel to tell her everything in person and to see this transformation with her own eyes. Then came the 'why am I even surprised' speech which Rachel began to get the feeling they would receive from a lot of people.

When Quinn got home last night Rachel had gotten a couple of texts from various people telling her they would be in touch to demand information. She had simply shut off her phone once Quinn was home and concentrated solely on her. It turned out that they had only been mildly hungry so after having a little soup they had just talked for a few hours before falling asleep.

Quinn had agreed to reschedule her therapy to bring it forward from the end of the month after she told Rachel that she wanted this over with. She just wanted to let it go now because she was too tired to hold onto it anymore. Quinn was done – she was ready to move one wholly with her life.

Rachel knew that meant full exposure to Quinn and that was fine but she wanted to make sure the blonde spoke to her psychiatrist about all of this first to fully prepare herself.

The second call had been Kurt. Who had actually gotten both of their voicemail until Quinn had a break in filming and called him back as she grabbed a couple of things from the craft table along with a bottle of water.

''Well it's about time, Miss Fabray.''

Kurt's precise tone greeted her over the line. The blonde rolled her eyes as she wondered over to a table to put her food down.

''Kurt, I have maybe 30 minutes to eat, pee and be myself until I have to do a photo shoot, a run through and late night filming after which I will be falling into a coma in my trailer. What do you want?''

Quinn's tone wasn't harsh more than it was just busy. She knew what Kurt wanted already and she didn't need him dragging it out. Rachel had alerted her of Tina's knowledge so they were expecting the onslaught of all their high school friends at some point or another. It was just she was so very busy today and she didn't have time to play 20 questions with an indignant gay boy.

''Fine, Miss Diva, I suspect that you know why I'm calling and I must say that I am rather indignant that I had to find out about your romance through my delightfully oafish step-brother.''

Quinn smirked despite herself. Kurt's tone was playful but there was a hint of real exasperation too because as close as Kurt and Finn had become there were still some tentative or awkward patches of their relationship. Kurt still liked to consider him a hub of information and became annoyed if Finn heard anything before him. Especially when it came to romances.

The blonde briefly wondered what Finn made of their new development. Not that she actually gave to much weight to his opinion on the matter but he was after all Rachel's ex-boyfriend and even longer ago hers. Their romance had simply been a teenage puppy love kind of thing. More infatuation and adhering to social norms than anything else but Rachel had really actually loved him and he had loved her.

Quinn was never sure how that had actually happened though. Rachel was smart and talented and high maintenance while Finn wasn't exactly the brightest only moderately talented and could definitely not be bothered with putting in the effort for anything more high maintenance than the latest COD game. He had been incredibly supportive of her and all but Quinn knew he had found all that effort – well too much effort. He had been a little annoyed at times when Rachel would casually shrug off plans with him to be with her.

''Huh…''

Quinn may have stumbled upon a little epiphany there. Maybe it was true – maybe she and Rachel had always been in love and had never realised it. If even back then Rachel would cast aside her romantic involvement for her maybe it had always been there. All that hate they had thought they held for one another – maybe it had just been love all along and everything that had happened had stopped them from realising it until now.

''What?''

Kurt asked eagerly. Quinn shook her head and cleared her throat.

''Uh nothing, how did Finn take the news?''

There was a small and distracted grunt from over the line.

''Like a wounded puppy. I believe he still expects Rachel to be lost in a world of misery and haplessness without him, despite the fact that he's now married.''

''Jackass.''

''Now Quinn, while I concede our gentle giant is not the sharpest tool in the box, nor the most sensitive or emotionally enlightened of men – however he is still my brother.''

Quinn rolled her eyes at the reprimand. She didn't know why she suddenly turned into a stroppy teenager who felt like she had to go into competition with Finn. Perhaps it was because she always felt underneath it all that he had had something that was meant for her. However happy she would be with Rachel from now one – he would be there.

He would be the boy that helped her lift Glee off the ground and the boy that told her she looked pretty like she was (despite later claiming she dressed funny and inappropriately commenting on her physical features) he would be a whole host of Rachel's firsts. Her first 'real' kiss with a boy her first real boyfriend – she had lost her virginity to Finn for crying out loud.

Quinn normally didn't do all that jealous and possessive crap but with Rachel she couldn't seem to help herself.

''I'm sorry, okay? It just annoys me how stupidly conceited he can be whilst playing the victim and thinking it's okay to still moon over your high school sweetheart when you have a perfectly adorable cookie cutter wife at home with all those babies they have. He still acts like Rachel did something wrong by achieving greatness and dumping him.''

The blonde grumbled. It was true. Finn had always been mad at Rachel for what she achieved. He'd told her she was getting too big for her boots or something stupid like that. He'd told her that she was becoming untouchable because of her 'fame hunger'. What he really meant was that he couldn't handle her. Quinn knew that Rachel had been in two hearts whether to let the fairytale of being with your first love go in favour of moving on because it was okay to become a woman. Finn had perpetually remained a boy; eventually it just wasn't feasible for Rachel to remain with him.

''Yes well, that aside he does seem vaguely happy for you both.''

Quinn knew that Kurt was lying. Finn would think that Rachel deserved better than Quinn and that she must have done something akin to tricking her into being with her. Not in a dastardly evil plan kind of way but just a childish high school kind of way.

''Anyways, moving on from all things Finn. Are you coming out? Have you told your parents? This is so exciting! I presume Brittana knew, oh this will be such a press storm for Santana.''

Quinn smirked at Kurt's enthusiastic rambling questions he was practically squealing.

''I think now that the gossip tree has been activated, pretty much all our friends and family know now. And yes, we do want to announce it but we'd like to wait for the right opportunity at the right time. Which will probably be sooner rather than later now the press have claimed Rachel has a girlfriend.''

All of a sudden the actress was smirking stupidly as she chatted about options with her friend. In the little time that she had Kurt had made some great suggestions on how all of this could be handled. He was a sweetheart really he was. When bad things happened to you you really got to see how your real friends were and seriously – it had shocked Quinn to see who had pulled through for her the most.

''_This is nice.''_

_Quinn mused from her position on the couch. She was half curled on it with her feet dangling off of the side. Kurt was currently sat on the floor where his pedicure kit was stretched out beside him on a cloth and he was carefully making an expert job on her feet._

_It was a warm and sunny day and after they had finished their 'mini make over' they were going to go out and get some ice cream and take a stroll through the park. Right now music drifted throughout the living room that Quinn could now consider her home. She was gradually relaxing into a steady routine – it hadn't been that long since things had happened and she was still trying not to be a burden to Mr. Shuester. But slowly and surely she was feeling more and more like she belonged here rather than anywhere else. _

''_It is, isn't it. You're a breeze to hang out with, Miss Q.''_

_Kurt smiled up at his new friend. Who knew that Quinn could actually relax and be fun? She was completely different from the bitchy and cold cheerleader that tortured people – including him – in the hallways. Though he knew now that she had a reason for that and for him there was nothing to forgive and forget. He was just happy that she was able to let her guard down enough now to be close like this. With all the other boys so far at school Quinn would flinch if they crowded her even if it were Puck or Finn. Well actually she didn't mind Artie too much but the others were still a working progress. She'd smile at them with a sad and apologetic smile but they understood and remained considerate to her feelings and needs._

_Whether it was because he was gay that she let him touch her Kurt didn't know, or whether it was just him for some reason. Either way it was a good sign. Normally it would just be Rachel that could get into her space without so much as a flicker of discomfort. The other girls could but Quinn wasn't quite as relaxed as she could be yet. Santana and Brittney were the only pair behind Rachel that could ease into her space and the girls too remained considerate and would just remain close without being invasive. _

''_I'm sorry we've never really hung out before. I should have been nicer to you.''_

_Kurt looked up again into guilty hazel eyes. _

''_Nonsense my love, you were a peach when you wanted to be. We've all been pretty horrible to one another in general – I suppose we all have our reasons. The important thing is that we pull together in times of need because that's what family is supposed to do. So we are.''_

_Quinn just smiled appreciatively though her eyes still contemplated. For long moments Kurt happily continued to pamper her feet while they listened to an assortment of music drifting from the radio in the corner. Occasionally one or both would hum a few bars to the song as Quinn ran her hands over the large baby bump she carried._

''_You're really gentle, Kurt.''_

_She whispered softly as she watched him go about his work. He seemed to be enjoying it as much as she was. He glanced up and smiled in thanks._

''_Thank you, I've never been all too heavy handed.''_

_No he really hadn't. Even though his Dad was the typical gruff, hands on everyday man he had still taught Kurt to be a gentleman. He remembered vaguely how his Father had treated his Mother when she had still been alive and it had been with a beautiful kind of grace that had taught Kurt a lot. His Dad respected her and cared for her – by extension he respected and cared for women. That had been passed down to Kurt too. He might have been gay but he was still a boy – plus his Dad hadn't known that he was gay yet when he had been teaching him how to be a gentleman. _

''_Can I ask you something?''_

_Quinn whispered cautiously. Kurt nodded as his brows knitted together in concern as he picked up on the serious air that drifted from his friend. She worried her lip between her teeth and seemed anxious for something to be answered._

''_I've been wondering…I mean I know I can ask Mr. Shue but I already feel like a big enough imposition as it is…but I need to know. I need a man to answer this and I don't think I can ask Puck because he already feels guilty about what happened between us now, and Finn's with Rachel so – is it okay I ask you something, as a boy?''_

_The blonde rambled quietly as her voice shook a little bit. Kurt swallowed in light apprehension as he nodded and kept as much of it off of his face as he could. He wanted to be there for her and if she trusted him enough to ask something that had been on her mind and clearly causing her difficulties then he wanted to be there to answer._

''_Yes, of course.''_

_Quinn nodded and reached forward to grab his hand tightly._

''_What my…what he did to me…was it my fault? Did I make him think like that or do…is it just what men do?''_

_Kurt sighed gently and put his equipment down before rising to slid up onto the couch next to Quinn. He reached out his hand and tucked some of her sunshine hair out the way of her face and behind her ear._

''_No, sweetie, it wasn't your fault. It was wrong of him – just plain wrong. The way I understand it is that to meet their own sick needs, some people inflict pain and suffering on others. It never was, or ever will be, your fault. Men don't do that; good men care and respect other people. They care and respect for women and girls like Mr. Shuester does. There was something wrong with him, not anybody else, least of all you.''_

''_I keep wondering – trying to figure out why. Why me? Why that? Why when he preached and preached about sin and deviance he would make me feel so bad.''_

_Kurt pulled Quinn forward into his arms and wrapped his around her as she cried softly. His heart broke for her. She was seeking reason seeking some sort of absolution and atonement for evils that had been visited on her. _

''_He is a sick and twisted man, Quinn. It makes good men sick that he did those things. You may never get the answers to why, but we're all here to help you move on. He's pathetic; he's the weak one. You told, that was really brave honey. One day you'll find yourself out there in the world somewhere feeling stronger than ever and doing what you want to do, because you're strong, and you're beautiful, and you're Quinn freaking Fabray! Okay?''_

_Quinn couldn't help but laugh lightly and nod into Kurt's chest. She sniffled as he gave her an affectionate squeeze._

''_I think I got your shirt all wet, I'm sorry.''_

''_It's just a shirt sweetheart, I'd rather have you than it.''_

''Kurt, I'm getting my call for the photo shoot, okay? Thank you for all your suggestions, we may take you up on one.''

Quinn nodded to an assistant that was wildly gesticulating to her and she began to get up from her seat as she explained the Kurt that she had to leave apologetically.

''Any time Miss Q, call me when you get some time.''

''I will, love you.''

''Love you too.''

Quinn quickly hung up and trotted off in the way of the assistant and her day was swallowed up again by all things work. It was a busy day but she felt good. She felt like herself again – or maybe not again – maybe she just felt refreshed and new in some way she had never experienced before.

The more she thought about the positive things that had occurred even in the midst of the most horrible trauma in her life the more she realised that actually she had been pretty blessed. She realised that with a combination of things that she really had come a long way. Maybe she had been running away at first – away from her life in Lima. Now? She had made a home and a life and she hadn't been running from anything but herself for a long time.

Quinn was pretty tired of running. The more she thought about it the less afraid she began to feel about putting everything on the line. If she fell then she fell, at least she would have been honest and done it her way. At least she would have Rachel to be there and a support system that had been established for so many years.

So – maybe it was time for Quinn Fabray to come clean to her legion of fans and the gossip hungry monster that was the press.

X*x*x*X

5 days and sleeping in her trailer later – Quinn found herself roaming the sunny streets of New York. It was her first day off for almost a week and a pretty none stop filming schedule and leave it to Rachel to be busy. She would be joining their production after the weekend to begin her rehearsals do some promo shoots and let make up and wardrobe drool all over her for a little while until they got the specific look that the character needed. Her first script had arrived and in true Rachel Berry style she had been studying it to the point of obsession.

In all honesty Quinn had been more so than normal because she was so excited about having her girlfriend around and being able to work with her again.

Right now though she didn't think of too much work she thought about the little boy that was sat on her shoulders happily and enjoying the free ride. Kieran laughed jovially as she whirled around and laughed too as they eased around happily. Quinn had her camera looped around her neck and she was also holding a couple of shopping bags. She had purchased a couple of things for herself Kieran and her home, as well as Rachel.

''You okay up their buddy?''

Kieran bounced on her and cheered as he put his hands on top of her head.

''Yep!''

''Awesome. Let's go to the toy store before we go meet Rachel for lunch, how's that?''

Kieran cheered again and she chuckled as she continued on her way toward what was probably New York's most famous toy store. Quinn loved spending time with her brother like this. He was just such a good kid and enjoyed experiencing things. It was a sister-brother day but they were making an exception by having lunch with Rachel before they would be on their way again to do whatever it was that Kieran wanted to do.

Her brunette lover had called in the morning to ask if she would meet her for lunch because she had a couple of things she'd like to talk to her about. Right now she had been whisked away to do some work on the promo of her album and finalise all the last decisions before it was produced. They also wanted to go over some concepts for music videos with her and stuff like that. It was all very exciting for Rachel so by proxy Quinn was just as excited for her.

The next hour was spent goofing around like a big kid with Kieran which garnered quite a bit of attention from passers by savvy fans and of course – the paparazzi. By now they must have snapped a million shots but Quinn and Kieran ignored them. They hadn't done anything to violate the precious space that Quinn liked to keep between them and her baby brother so she hadn't given them much attention.

She had dutifully signed a few things and stood in a few pictures for people but mostly no one had really bothered her when they saw she was with Kieran. They'd taken some pictures or videos or whatever but she didn't care too much about that. They'd had a crowd when they were jumping over the giant piano and then they had explored to see what Kieran wanted to take home from the toy store. Quinn knew she'd get lectured by their parents for adding to his toy supplies but she didn't much give a crap! She was the hip big sister she got the privilege of spoiling him.

So by the time they made it to the restaurant where Rachel was waiting both of them were starving (and still had a handful of paparazzi straggling behind them). Quinn opened the door and Kieran ran in without a care in the world and made a beeline for Rachel who stood up at their arrival.

''Rachel!''

The brunette laughed as she picked him up and spun him around easily before she sat him on her hip and gave him a big kiss. He grinned happily and Rachel glanced at the following blonde that was now carrying quite the few bags.

''Oh my god, did you guys buy the whole toy store?''

She demanded lightly with amusement running through her voice. Quinn dropped the bags next to the table and shrugged nonchalantly as she leant forward and kissed her girlfriend on the cheek as her hand placed itself onto her hip for a moment. To anyone taking pictures outside it was probably the most innocent thing she could do right now mainly though she just wanted to greet Rachel. It's not like they were going to get all hot and heavy in front of Kieran anyway.

''Almost, hey.''

''Hey.''

Rachel smiled widely and her eyes said everything she couldn't to Quinn right now. The three settled down and ordered some drinks and Kieran was quite happy to sit on Rachel's knee for the time being. He chatted to her about the morning so far and he showered her some of his stuff and he also gave her the present that 'he had gotten' her. He had picked it out in one of the stores. It was a t-shirt with a rainbow on it.

See in Kieran's head Rachel liked rainbows – a lot. He had heard her talk about rainbows before he was sure and she had a diary with rainbows on it and even a bandana that she wore sometimes. So finding a t-shirt with a rainbow on it had made his day. He had demanded that Quinn find it in her size so he could give it to her at lunch. What Kieran misunderstood was that it wasn't a rainbow – it was the rainbow flag.

So of course Rachel loved it and had laughed infectiously as Kieran had grinned around his straw as he guzzled his milkshake.

''Quinn got-ted you a gift too…well two's I think but she dun let me see one.''

Rachel looked across the table where Quinn had gone rather bashful and red as she ducked her head a little and rubbed the back of her neck.

''I'll give you that at home…''

She mumbled before clearing her throat and pulled out the child friendly restaurant appropriate gift that she had bought Rachel. It came in the form of a small box and Rachel took it gently. As she opened it Kieran peered into the box too (given he was still on Rachel's knee and her arms were looped around him).

''S'a star!''

He squealed proudly. Rachel smirked and looked up at Quinn before she looked at the dainty necklace that she had been given. It was a soft gold and the chain was small and delicate and the star was beautiful. It had a gorgeous blue topaz stone set in the middle from the more modern and zodiac assigned gemstone for her December birthday. Topaz or turquoise were readily acceptable and very lovely as representations of her birthstones.

''I was going to give it to you when you came onto the show Monday, but Mr. Big Mouth here told you so you can have it now. I checked, you can wear it if you want to during filming.''

Quinn offered as she gave her brother a gentle nudge but smiled and winked at him all the while. It didn't really matter when Rachel received her gift so long as it was by or on Monday to acknowledge her presence there and give her a good luck type of sentimentality.

Despite her most earnest claims to the contrary Quinn knew that Rachel was nervous about her upcoming entrance to the show.

''It's beautiful, Quinn, thank you. Of course I'll be wearing it.''

Quinn smiled as Rachel's eyes twinkled at her and if they were somewhere else the brunette would have been kissing her senseless. But they weren't and after a few soppy minutes of shooting each other what Santana would only describe as sickening moony eyes they got on with lunch.

Kieran was happily tucking into cheeseburger and fries – still on Rachel's knee – and the brunette easily negotiated him whilst eating her salad and Quinn had opted for grilled chicken.

''So, I'm being asked to come onto Broadway to guest on _Phantom Of The Opera_ as Christine Daaé. It would be after we'd finish filming so there would be little confliction.''

Rachel announced happily in excitement. Quinn's eye widened a little and her jaw dropped.

''Oh my god, you _love _Phantom! That's great Rachel.''

She enthused happily.

''You wouldn't object to my taking the offer? I said I'd think about it a little.''

''Why? I mean – why would I object? Also, you don't need to ask me sweetie, you're a grown up!''

Rachel smirked and rolled her eyes as she nodded in agreement.

''I know that. It's just I planned – _we _planned – on not having to maintain that schedule for a while.''

That was true. Rachel was by no means stepping away from Broadway for or because of Quinn. She was simply wanting to try new things and challenge herself to see what worked for her. However they had both acknowledged that not having the nightly performances would free up a lot of room for their relationship.

Rachel was simply being a good girlfriend and asking for input on her decision by her significant other. It was something to talk about and make sure that signing up for that schedule once more – even if she was simply to guest star the female headline for a little while – wasn't going to throw a spanner in the works.

''Rachel you should definitely jump on it, you've had a list of your favourite musicals of all time that you always wanted to star in at least once, and this is on it. You'll be amazing.''

Quinn reminded easily. Rachel's list was practically famous amongst their family and friends and the top end of them had been crossed off as Rachel had conquered them. This would be yet another feather in her cap as they say. She wasn't about to let her pass it up just for her.

''We've worked with that schedule before and we were just fine, don't worry about that.''

The blonde added before taking a sip of her water. They had had at least a month when Rachel had been finishing her run on the stage and things had been fine. When you really wanted to you could make it work – at least they lived in the same city and understood their scheduling issues.

''I also…an offer came through Santana for a lead role on a TV spot. It's New York based, it's pretty much a done deal that it's going forward. They're just looking for the right cast. I just, it's something we really do need to talk about. Just not here.''

''Why?''

''Well, think along the line of The L Word – just based in New York and different.''

Quinn's eyebrow shot up in both intrigue and speculation. Immediately she caught on to why Rachel wanted to talk it over in private. If she got the hint right – and she had – then that role would be pretty intense and well now she was expecting some sort of nudity to be involved in it. Or close to it. And obviously some lesbianism which meant that Rachel would be getting all up in some other girl's or girls' grill.

She took another sip of water.

The three of them settled into a steady conversation and Rachel had ended up rubbing Kieran's tummy for a while after he flopped back into her and declared he might have eaten too much ice cream because he felt weird.

Eventually, after he started feeling a little better Rachel had to leave and Quinn picked up her brother so she could carry him for a while until he felt better. The kid had definitely over done it with his ice cream sundae.

X*x*x*X

By the time 6pm rolled around and Quinn carefully shouldered into her apartment – Kieran had been asleep for at least half an hour. They had spent the entire day out and during the movie that he had begged to see – he had fallen asleep. The boy was just flat out.

Right now he was draped over her shoulder and she dropped their stuff onto the floor before closing the door again and locking it as he mumbled something in his sleep before making a little snoring noise with a big sigh. She smirked and started to make her way through her apartment.

''Hey baby. Aww, you wore him out!''

Quinn looked up and smirked at Rachel as she plodded down the few steps from the second lounge. The blonde dropped her jaw at the sight of her girlfriend and had to remind herself not to actually drop the sleeping boy in her arms.

Rachel was wearing an oversized white shirt and nothing else. The hem reached the top of her thighs just enough to cover her modesty and her hair was still damn from the shower she had obviously taken. The top of the buttons were buttoned just enough to keep her decent and it was needless to say that Rachel hadn't thought that Kieran would be coming home with Quinn. It hadn't been the plan – but given that he was out like a light Quinn had called home to say that she'd keep him for the night rather than dragging him all the way home.

''Jesus Rachel…''

Rachel frowned slightly as she momentarily forgot her current state of dressed and just looked confused when Quinn swallowed obviously and continued to stare at her.

''What?''

''You look…holy crap…''

Rachel looked down and suddenly remembered that she was just wearing a shirt. Smirking she stepped forward slowly and shrugged gently.

''Well I didn't know you were coming home with Lil' K here so I may have dressed a little too provocatively in hope to seduce you rotten given that we haven't had any quality time together this week.''

She paused briefly.

''By that I mean I want to get laid. So go put him to bed so I can do you in yours.''

Quinn almost fell over her feet as she sprang into action. Carrying Kieran into the spare room it didn't take her long to set him down and get him changed. There was a supply of Kieran's stuff here for when he stayed over and things like that and the exhausted boy didn't even come close to waking up as he was changed out of his clothes and changed into his jammies.

Making sure he was comfortable and all snuggled up Quinn ruffled her fingers through his hair before she leant forward and placed a kiss on his forehead.

''Sleep tight sweet boy.''

Quinn smirked and eased out of the room knowing that her brother was settled. As she closed the door her attention turned to something entirely separate from the innocence of a little boy and right onto one sexy as hell girlfriend. Rachel was perched atop her piano in the second lounge and Quinn smirked as she walked toward the front door. She could practically feel Rachel's eyes boring into her as she bent down to rummage in her bags. Pulling out a box Quinn turned and made her way up the few stairs and directly over to Rachel.

Without preamble the blonde pulled the brunette's legs apart and pulled her ass further forward to the edge eliciting a small gasp from Rachel. Quinn stood between those beautifully shaped legs and put the box she was holding on top of the piano before grabbing a fistful of Rachel's hair and pulling her down into a deep and instantly heated and forceful kiss. Like their mouths couldn't survive apart their aimed to dominate the other as tongues caressed and controlled made soft and hard patterns and swirls. Rachel bit down on Quinn's bottom lip for a moment before running her tongue along it.

Her breaths came in ragged heaves as she attacked the blonde's mouth again hands clutching at the back of her girlfriend's head to force as much friction between them as possible.

''What if Kieran wakes up?''

Rachel husked into Quinn's mouth as she arched herself against the blonde's body to try and release some of this pent up desire she had for her. Quinn shook her head as her mouth back to attack Rachel's neck one hand holding the brunette's face and the other having moved down to cup the top of her ass.

''He won't.''

Rachel's hands clutched Quinn's top in arousal until she was able to move again after Quinn sucked on her pulse point. She practically ripped the material off of her and Quinn compliantly lifted up her arms in order to help Rachel strip her before she went back to devouring the skin along her neck.

''What if he does?''

Rachel countered again as her head dropped sideways. She really liked it when Quinn did that to her neck. The blonde growled before she licked the length of Rachel's neck and sank her teeth into its base hard enough to elicit an aroused hiss but not enough to leave much of a telltale sign. It was all about how long you did for and Quinn had learnt to keep her timing accurate as to minimise Rachel's marks along her skin that would be visible to others.

''Do you want me to put the monitor on?''

Rachel nodded eagerly at the offer. Quinn sighed and reluctantly retracted herself from Rachel looking rather hot and flushed. Rachel leant back on the piano and watched as Quinn shuffled around and routed in draws around the apartment before she found was she was looking for. She didn't know why she still had these – they were left over from when she had babysat Kieran when he was younger. Still if it made Rachel feel better having them on then so be it.

Quinn went about her mission of sneaking into the bedroom and placing a monitor next to the bed. Kieran was flat out asleep - she was sure a freaking bomb could go off and he wouldn't wake up. She made her exit now that the monitor was placed and practically ran up back to the piano.

Rachel had amused herself by looking in the box that she had discarded there. The brunette looked at her as she tangled the shiny pair of handcuffs that had been in the box with an arched eyebrow. Also in the box there were silk ties a silk blindfold and various oils and assortments for a rather sultry session in bed. Including a little squeeze bottle of spreadable chocolate – of the vegan variety.

They stared at one another for a moment and then as though they had thought it at exactly the same time the two women bolted toward Quinn's bedroom with everything in the little box of wonder that Quinn had purchased very covertly earlier in the day. It would add to the little chest of wonder very nicely.


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry for the delay my g/f Alex is full of some stupid virus so been playing nurse and not the good kind! Again anyone that has any ideas/prompts/suggestions please PM me some how because I'd really like to know if there is any :)**

X*x*x*X

''_And in entertainment news this week there's a whole lot of speculation going on over Broadway star Rachel Berry's admittance that she has a girlfriend. Pictures surfaced over the weekend of Rachel and her long time friend and TV actress Quinn Fabray as the two looked cosy together in Central Park with a little boy believed to be Quinn's brother. These pictures have reignited the intense speculation that the two are more than friends._

_Amidst these's rumours Rachel had joined the cast of A-City as a series guest star and will be working alongside Quinn and co-star Benson Crew. The show has been highly praised and is expected to clean up at the Emmy's next month in which Quinn has been nominated for best actress in a drama series. _

_Given that the pair have never confirmed nor denied a romance taking place between them – we're left to wonder if Rachel's confession is a move toward them finally revealing what their fans and the entertainment world at large have thought is likely for quite some time. _

_We'll be watching this space. And in movie news_…''

That's what the media in general all had to say about the matter of Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray as Rachel was welcomed on set Monday morning. Most of everyone she knew already from her visits to Quinn and chatting to everyone behind the scenes as she hung out to watch her friend turned girlfriend work. Now she was part of that work crew and despite the butterflies she had in her stomach she had started to enjoy herself immediately.

They really were all so great and Rachel could definitely see why Quinn had so much fun at work and why it was so easy to shoot through the night, in the early morning or any kind of intimate scene – they made it so easy. So when they had sat around and gone through the scene after going to wardrobe before doing a quick photo shoot suddenly the two of them found themselves acting opposite one another.

All they did was bounce, too. Evidently being in love made it easier to create the edgy chemistry between their characters and they weren't afraid to throw themselves into it and act like they quietly hated one another. Rachel was pretty damn good at the sweetly menacing demeanour and Quinn wasn't afraid to really maximise how that would annoy the hell out of Phoebe. All in all it was the best first day ever.

''Yo, Jew Drop and Audrey Hepburn, get over here.''

Both Rachel and Quinn looked off the set behind the cameras at the rather ungraceful beckoning of their friend/manager. Santana's usual style made them both roll their eyes but reluctantly they both responded to the names she had decided to yell them over with. Though at least Quinn's was a little more gracious than Rachel's – a fact which made her pout.

''What are you doing here Satan-a?''

The brunette demanded huffily as she scowled. Santana didn't look up from the papers in front of her that she had dumped on an empty desk but she smirked a little at the comment.

''Original, Stubbles. Since you opened your mouth first I'll start with you. Here's your contract for Phantom that I finalised for you.''

Santana all but shoved the paper into Rachel's face. The brunette grabbed it in shock and her jaw dropped a little wider as she glanced over the details quickly.

''How did you…Santana, how did you negotiate so quickly?''

Santana shrugged and offered out Rachel a pen.

''I keep telling you I'm the shit, Berry. Is the price good for you?''

Rachel gaped as she took the pen and nodded.

''It's…seriously, Santana, how did you do this?''

Quinn leant in toward Rachel almost conspiratorially.

''You probably shouldn't ask that question. She gets it done, just go with it.''

Rachel looked at her girlfriend still in shock at how fast and well Santana had managed to ensure her contract. Not only was she being paid rather generously she was getting the better deal out of the whole thing. She couldn't argue against the terms because they worked in her favour so she signed the contract. She honestly didn't want to know how Santana worked – it was probably best that she didn't as Quinn suggested. Especially knowing that the Latina had someone that was like 'Captain America' on her payroll.

The PR in question snapped the contract back before handing her a piece of paper with a detailed itinerary on it.

''Excellent. Now here's your public appearance schedule for the next month. I have taken into account the suggestions Homo-Boy made about outing you two. You're **both** going to the diversity ball and you **will** act like a couple. It's about damn time that you stopped letting this speculation shit go on – I'm sick of the freaking calls and emails about it so let's just get this over with.

Tiny Tim here would refuse to do it at a fundraiser or the Emmy's in case it looked like a stunt and Q here would take exception to doing the big announcement over a stiff interview. So, you chose someone you like, trust or owe – I don't really give a shit – and you give them the scoop to be published on the day of the ball of which you **will** be stepping out of the car with your one and only after posting via Twitter how barf worthy in love you are in confirmation. And that will be that. Got it? Okay, moving on…

Quinn and Rachel both stared at Santana with their mouths open as she continued her well thought out tirade without stopping to ask them if it was actually what they wanted to do. Apparently it was tough shit if they didn't.

''Have you made a decision about the offer you have like the total whipped pussy you are?''

''Yes.''

''And?''

''I'm taking the part.''

Santana nodded and wrote something down in a little book that she tended to carry around with her.

''Freaking fantastic. I'll work it out. Q – here's your schedule. It takes you up to LA and I've taken the liberty of booking a hotel and fitting you into the talk shows pre-award ceremony. You also have some offers, I've accepted 2 and you need to tick of the rest. I want your decisions back by the end of the day.''

Santana took in a breath and stepped back.

''Kay ladies, have fun and all that – I don't really care. I have a sex date with Brittney over her lunch so I'm outs.''

Santana was gone like a flash leaving the two actresses standing there and blinking after her.

''Whirlwind Santana strikes again.''

Quinn mumbled as she swore the dust settled after the hasty departure. She of course was used to Santana's 'business head'. She may have seemed unprofessional but in reality she was the complete opposite. Santana was shrewd and extremely efficient. She simply wanted answers from you as her ward and she would do the rest. What happened behind the scenes she never really bothered you with. Quinn was very respectful of her best friend's talent at her job.

''Is she serious about this?''

Quinn nodded and gave Rachel the best reassuring look that she had as she squeezed her hand gently.

''She on top of it, that's all you need to know. She's the best Rach. And I think she's onto something with the whole coming out thing. It might be the easiest way. If we each pick someone to give the story to it'll be so much easier. It means we control what information gets sent out, it'd be more personal, we can both make a comment on our social network sites directly to the fans. It makes sense. And I owe Warren Jacobi this, he kept it to himself when he didn't have to.''

It was actually a good proposition Rachel thought; both Santana and Quinn had a point. And it would be the most natural way to do it – to just turn up somewhere being a couple like it was the normal thing and maybe answer a few confirmation questions, pose for some pictures and then have fun at the ball. It did mean that they could take the time to ease into life as a public couple.

Plus Quinn was right they both had people in the media that had done favours for them and they owed a tip of the hat or exclusives to so that way they could even pay some debts.

''Let's do it, yeah. Everyone knows and we're ready so let's go for it.''

Quinn beamed as she grabbed Rachel up and spun her around quickly – no one stopped in their movements because no one was surprised at the display of affection between them.

''I know I said I liked having us to ourselves but now I know we're 'coming out' I'm just feeling so ready. I want to be able to treat you like I want to treat you whenever we're outside of the apartments. I want everybody to know how much I love you.''

The happy blonde explained softly as she stroked through Rachel's hair gently. Right now she felt like nothing could get her down. Rachel was hers and she was Rachel's – their careers were going smoothly, working together was great and all their friends and family were behind them. Things were perfect. Quinn didn't even give a damn whether she won or lost the Emmy nomination. All she wanted to do was keep living her life like this – and right now even the prospect of having her past discovered didn't scare her.

''We've come such a long way.''

The brunette whispered hoarsely. The woman that was stood in front of her was the same face that had looked at her with hatred and contempt all those years ago. It was the same face she had been tortured by and feared and cried about. Quinn had the same deep hazel eyes that were purely dazzling. The protective walls were still in shape but a lot less defensive now and Rachel was allowed beyond them. They were still very much the window to Quinn's soul but you had to know where and how to look into them to see her secrets – her girlfriend had the tendency to hide in plain sight.

Her hair was just as bright and silky like the sun itself purposefully graced her head. Quinn had styled it differently over the years including having it shorter (which had looked amazing) but it was back to its long locks that framed her face like a mane. Her features were just as beautiful as ever having refined even more than when they had been in school. She was just positively beautiful – even looked regal sometimes.

And that smile? God Rachel loved that smile. She would do anything and everything she could to see Quinn's smile because it made butterflies flap in her stomach every time.

Quinn was like an elusive goddess that just never truly grasped how breathtaking she was. She had a legion of fans not only because of her beauty of course but because she had a beautiful personality too. Quinn didn't treat them or anyone dismissively and did her best to share and support. Her Twitter account was always being updated and she was always posting things on her sites and answering questions for people.

Quinn cared. She truly felt for people and she used what she had now to try and make a difference. That was the Quinn Fabray that Rachel had always known was hidden under the monster. But the mask that she had worn had only been mistaken as a monster – instead it had been one very terrified little girl trying to hide in plain sight.

It seemed unfathomable the amount of distance they had walked together after one sullen rainy afternoon. A journey that had lead them through so many ups and downs all the way to the truth of their hearts.

''If every day of my life was necessary to get me to this one with you and I had a choice to go through it all again – Rachel I would – every single second. Because of you.''

Rachel didn't know what to say to that – what could _anyone _say to that? It was probably the biggest statement anyone could make in this world. To know that was just how much someone loved her – how much Quinn loved her – it was a little dizzying. She had been there to see what hell Quinn had come from and the sincerity in her voice and saying she would again if it meant they could be together like this blew the brunette away. Not that she would ever have that happen because just no. But to have it said to her face with so much meaning and feeling behind it made her heart sing.

It was a damn good job no one was really paying them too much attention because their mouths didn't break away for a good few minutes – they didn't really much care about the tears that had been shed but the had been moaned at by the make up department. They didn't care because they had each other.

X*x*x*x*X

_She stared at the table intently though without much thought going through her head. She was completely exhausted. Her bones ached her head hurt hell even her skin was tender. She felt like a freaking zombie. All she really wanted to do was go and crawl under the covers of the bed and sleep for as long as she could._

_But she couldn't. She couldn't sleep. She wouldn't sleep. The images that were behind her eyes were damn well enough to contend with but if she slept? God when she slept the demons crept into her head and she remembered everything. He was always there and she could never get away from him. He made her feel like dying and if she didn't wake up screaming she woke up wailing._

_Mr. Shuester had a hint of a black eye to attest to her violent reactions when she tried to defend herself from her dream without realising that it was him trying to wake her up. For long moments she would cower away and shake and cry and it would take him forever to calm her down. They were long nights for both of them. Many times he would have to call Rachel on the phone so that she could talk her down – at times she had even come all the way over in the middle of the night to be by her side._

_Things were a little better. She would let him touch her because she knew now the difference of his touch – it was softer and gentler and reassuring. It was a Father's touch that she took comfort in and began to trust and feel protected by._

_It didn't stop the nightmares though._

_So here she sat with a big mug of hot milk that she had heated up on the hob. It still felt a little strange being here but she was getting used to it. Her stuff was here now so her room felt like her own room and Mr. Shuester respected her privacy. It was becoming a safe haven. It was becoming home. _

''_Hey.''_

_Quinn looked up surprised to see Mr. Shuester hovering in the doorway rubbing his eye with a sleepy and scrunched up face. His usually perfect hair was all stuck up from sleep and he had some gruff around his face. It actually brought a smile to her face._

''_Oh Coach Sylvester would probably make me a Queen if I took a picture of you like that!''_

_She smirked shyly but with a hint of that sweetly sarcastic wit that everyone had been so used to. Yes it could be cutting when she wanted it to but it could also be very funny and dry – especially when she was being adorable at the same time. No one had seen much of that recently. So the emergence of it now at 3am made Will chuckle as he nodded and ruffled his hair up some more._

''_Will that woman ever leave me alone?''_

''_Highly doubtful.''_

_He grunted lightly as he gestured to the mug she fiddled with in her hands._

''_What you got there?''_

_Quinn glanced down at her half drunk hot milk and shrugged lightly._

''_Hot milk – I kind of zoned out though so its just kinda luke warm now.''_

_The thought made her grimace. Hot milk was great – crappy barely warm milk sucked. She pushed it away a little because the smell of it was getting to her and her baby hormones seriously did not like that smell. Ordinarily she would have drunken coffee considering the hour and her mission to stay awake but being pregnant her options were limited. She had settled for milk because she liked the taste and it was soothing._

''_I'll make you some more.''_

_Quinn shook her head with a soft sigh._

''_Mr. Shue, it's okay. I don't want to keep you up – I do enough of that.''_

_She protested because she already felt guilty enough for pretty much completely taking over his life. He had been so great and he had never even blinked. He never got angry at her for waking up in the middle of the night – he never got mad at her for her snappy behaviour when she was being defensive – he never got annoyed by the hysterics or the bouts of depression or anything like that. His space had been completely compromised but he didn't seem to care. They would get home from school and he would chat away to her while he cooked like it was normal._

_Quinn had started therapy now – which he had organised with Miss. Pillsbury – and he would take her and pick her up and he'd be there if she wanted to talk. And she did a little bit – she was starting to open up a little bit because she trusted him. She started looking at him as much more than a teacher and she knew he was someone she could depend on. Like Rachel and her friends he was a pillar of strength. He had done all of this to make sure she would have a home._

''_You know you can call me Will right? And you're not keeping me up, I happen to like me some hot milk too – especially when it has a dash of vanilla in it. And you know what? It's even better when I have company to drink it with over scrabble!''_

_The blonde smirked beside herself as he gave her a cheesy grin with a look in his eyes that told her that he wasn't going to leave her alone so she could just deal with it. _

_A half hour later Quinn was practically doubled over in laughter. Their aim was to make the most weird and wonderful words they could possibly make and call each other's bluff on them. It was pretty funny and they had bickered over a few words already._

'''_Ylem' is so not a word!''_

_He protested in triumph and confidence. Quinn flailed as she nodded._

''_Yes it is!''_

_Will crossed his arms suspiciously._

''_Then what does it mean?''_

''_Ylem is the term used for the original hypothetical substance – or condensed state of matter – that becomes subatomic particles and elements. It basically means that it's the primordial plasma that's formed in baryogenesis…don't even get me started on what that is!''_

_There was silence for a moment as Will stared at Quinn in utter bewilderment as she easily rattled off the scientific explanation of her chosen word that he had never even heard of. Really he was the adult and the teacher here but Quinn had just explained that like she was a science teacher or something that had studied the subject for years. She had said it with the comfort level he spoke Spanish with._

''_What? I'm on the honour roll for a reason you know. I do pay attention contrary to popular belief!''_

_Quinn quipped good naturedly as he blinked at her. Okay so she was a little bit of a secret nerd – so what? Was it a crime to study? Well – maybe considering she kept it a secret – but anyway she was smart damnit not just a blonde cheerleader. She did pay attention in classes and she took some AP classes and had made honour roll. _

_Another half an hour later found Quinn fast asleep with her head propped up on Will's shoulder in front of the TV. After not being able to concentrate on scrabble anymore they had sat in front of the TV and Quinn had found some late night Power Puff Girls marathon. Of course she had told him that if he told anyone that she adored the Power Puff Girls then she'd take that picture for Coach Sylvester. Now she had finally drifted off into a comfortable sleep._

_He stood up and gently scooped her up – even pregnant she wasn't all that heavy for him. He tracked through the apartment and went into her room and put her back into bed and covered her up. There was a security light on – because she still wasn't ready to sleep in the dark – so he stood and watched her for a moment. _

_He hoped that he was doing enough and he thought it was only a good sign that she was much more relaxed around him and the house now. That's all he wanted. It wasn't perfect – she was in pain and angry and devastated and he knew a large part of her hated herself. He knew that she still harboured shame and guilt and blame – but that level of healing would come slowly and surely._

_He turned to leave but paused at the doorway as she murmured._

''_Will?''_

''_Yeah Quinn?''_

''_Will you teach me how to play the guitar?''_

_He frowned in confusion at the oddly timed question but shrugged lightly._

''_Sure.''_

''_Will?''_

''_Yeah?''_

_There was a small pause._

''_Thank you.''_

_She didn't mean the agreement to have him teach her how to play. She didn't even just mean what he had done tonight – staying up with her like that so she wasn't lonely and left alone with her thoughts. She meant everything. She meant his attitude and his support and just every big and small thing he had done or was doing for her. _

_Will smiled with a nod as he glanced at her just peeking over her covers. She had wrapped herself around the long pillow that Rachel had bought her to be comfortable with the baby bump – and also a stuffed sheep, which was also from the brunette gripped in her hand. _

''_Good night, Quinn.''_

''_Night.''_

X*x*x*X

''_There's a little black spot on the sun today _

_It's the same old thing as yesterday _

_There's a black hat caught in a high tree top _

_There's a flagpole rag and the wind won't stop _

_I have stood here before inside the pouring rain _

_With the world turning circles running 'round my brain _

_I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign _

_But it's my destiny to be the king of pain_…''

She loved doing this. The whole unplugged feel of the stage big enough to squeeze on a medium sized band to perform in front of the darkened club. Quinn loved the intimate vibe and the essence of the whole thing – of it being about music and just being able to come and jam and have a good time and listen to some good music. Or as it turned out sometimes to sing or play with various people or by herself.

It was no secret that this was one of her favourite places to frequent.

''_There's a fossil that's trapped in a high cliff wall _

_That's my soul up there _

_There's a dead salmon frozen in a waterfall _

_That's my soul up there_

_There's a blue whale beached by a springtide's ebb_

_That's my soul up there_

_There's a butterfly trapped in a spider's web _

_I have stood here before inside the pouring rain _

_With the world turning circles running 'round my brain _

_I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign _

_But it's my destiny to be the king of pain_…''

Rachel was effortless on the piano – they must have sung this song together a million times over. It was one of Quinn's favourite songs on the Alanis Morissette _Unplugged _album and she preferred it infinitely over The Police's original. Perhaps that had something to do with the awesomeness she considered Alanis Morissette. When you were a girl lost in the world and struggling to breathe and find your place and trying to muster the strength to fight? Alanis was a saving grace. The lyrics, the music, the feeling – every song had become a soundtrack for Quinn. Moving from angry to hurt to freeing to wishful – Alanis had it all.

So when she had started learning the guitar and other instruments her obsession with her had truly taken flight. If she ever performed anywhere like this she liked to try and squeeze in a song just as her own private thank you to the woman for providing music to cling on to.

The piano was set toward the back of the stage so Rachel was behind her but Quinn sat to the front and had turned to Will because they were both playing the guitars and instead of Rachel backing her up he was. There was one more guitarist on stage – a musician from the club that they had all played with before. They were all friends here and it was here that you could be recognized for your accomplishments yes – but you got to be yourself and you could just chill out and be with and about the music.

''_There's a king on a throne with his eyes torn out _

_There's a blind man looking for a shadow of doubt _

_There's a rich man sleeping on a golden bed _

_There's a skeleton choking on a crust of bread _

_There's a red fox torn by a huntsman's pack _

_There's a black-winged gull with a broken back _

_There's a little black spot on the sun today_

_It's the same old thing as yesterday _

_I have stood here before inside the pouring rain _

_With the world turning circles running 'round my brain _

_I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign _

_But it's my destiny to be the queen of pain _

_I'll always be queen of pain_

_I'll always be queen of pain_.''

As the song ended the enthralled audience clapped and cheered. Quinn just smiled and blushed as she tended to do because it was obviously Rachel who was more used to playing in front of audiences like this. But she did enjoy it herself and she really was considering the music route like Rachel had. It was a definite consideration.

Standing and tucking her guitar to the side she stepped over to Will as he laughed lightly and she wrapped one arm around him while the other pushed her guitar back. Standing up right again she gestured for him to stand up with her. He took her offered hand and she pulled him up and laughed at his modest expression.

''Thank you – thank you for listening and letting us play up here. My Papἁ here – Will – taught me how to play and even after all this time I'm still learning from him. Thank you for teaching me so much.''

She gave him a kiss on his cheek and squeezed his hand to punctuate her affection and her gratitude. He garnered a round of applause and Quinn gestured back to the other man on the guitar.

''And thank you to Ivan who is just a legend. And Miss Rachel here on the piano who is just far too talented for her own good! Again, thank you so much.''

There was more applause and some cheers and the musicians on stage began to move around to put there things away. As Quinn and Will put away their guitars Rachel shared a few words with Ivan before they all made way for the next people to take to the stage. As Will and Ivan went to chat and Quinn and Rachel made their way to the back of the club. Through an archway with a dividing curtain across it there was a better-lit and secluded sort of VIP room. It was in this room that the pair's guests had been shown into as they were packing away.

The room unlike the main space was bright and clean cut – with white walls and smooth lines it was incredibly sheik and comfortable – very celebrity like as people would expect to see. Though to be honest neither girl spent much time in here because they like the atmosphere outside and liked to see the musicians that appeared.

''Hey guys, how ya doin'?''

Quinn called happily as she stepped into the 'white room' first – Rachel was only a couple of steps behind with their hands interlocked. The two reporters that they had extended invitations to tonight sat there looking around with expressions that mixed curiosity excitement and nervousness. They were definitely intrigued and they perked up when they saw they were being approached.

The table that the two had been seated at was extremely comfortable. Quinn and Rachel both took seats opposite them and Rachel immediately set to work in opening the wine that had been awaiting them in the ice bucket.

''Wine?''

Both Warren Jacobi and Amy Farmer nodded slowly – clearly wondering what was going on and highly speculative of the entire situation.

''You guys were really great.''

Warren offered sweetly as he watched Rachel pour white wine into four glasses. He wondered if it was a trait for them both to serve their interviewers drinks because now for the second time that's what had happened in their presence. Amy didn't know what was going on either – they had been sat at a table together for the performance and although they knew of one another they had never met. Their invitations seemed to be a mystery to them.

''Thanks Warren, and thank you for coming. You too Amy.''

Quinn smiled warmly as Rachel gave everyone their glasses and tried not to laugh at their expressions.

''Your Dad is a really good musician, do you play with him a lot?''

Amy wondered lightly. Rachel scoffed into her glass as she had been about to take a sip.

''Put them in a room together with musical instruments and then watch the law of physics take over.''

She joked in a quiet mumble before taking her sip. Quinn threw her a mock off look but it was entirely true. It was like a gravitational pull and when she got the chance to play with Will she would gladly take it up – not that Rachel could say she faired that much better. But both she and Emma had lost them both for hours at a time because they were just happy to sit in a room and goof around with music and jam together.

''It's a Father – daughter thing.''

Quinn responded while still 'glaring' at Rachel. Then she cleared her throat and remembered what they were supposed to be doing and looked back at them.

''We're sorry for all the mystery in asking you to come but there is a good reason, I promise. When we decided to do this you were both who we immediately thought of. Warren – I owe you big time…''

''And Amy, you defended the sincerity of my bisexualism last year and I very much appreciated that.''

Both reporters nodded in understanding for their reasons on why the actresses stated they had asked them here. Warren immediately knew what Quinn was referring to and was immediately beginning to put some pieces together as Amy still looked curious but understood that Rachel felt like she owed her in some way.

''The long and the short of it is that we both trust you and feel like we owe you something in return. So we're giving you our story.''

Quinn finished off in clarification. The two of them sat there with the reporters just staring back at them as if waiting for further explanation. Amy was the first to break as she cleared her throat.

''What story?''

She prodded. Rachel gestured between Quinn and herself.

''_Our _story. We're announcing our relationship – with each other. A romantic relationship…''

''I think they get it!''

''I was just making sure it was clear.''

''The words 'announcing' and 'relationship' pretty much covered it.''

''Well I like to be clear Quinn, unlike you who left it entirely vague with the whole 'our story' business. We've discussed this – I use the big words and you sit there looking pretty!''

Rachel grinned a shit eating grin as she batted her eyes at her girlfriend who dropped her jaw in exasperation and drew back her head as she laugh laughed and half blew out a puff of air in that 'oh you're so dead' way. Rachel just began to laugh mischievously.

''Don't make me pull out the Scrabble high scores, Berry. Last I checked you were my _bitch_!''

Rachel scoffed and rolled her eyes as she flicked her hair and looked away from Quinn dramatically.

''Well you cheat! You use all those stupid physics words no one has ever heard of. I suck at physics – it's not fair! It's the only subject I was bad at.''

Quinn folded her arms across her chest and lifted an eyebrow.

''Rachel you got a B! In what world does that suck? You're just making excuses for why I totally own your ass at Scrabble.''

''Fine, you know what – you suck at Battleship.''

''_Everyone _sucks at Battleship because _it _sucks!''

Rachel scoffed again and took another sip of wine as she narrowed her eyes at Quinn before they both remembered that they were being watched. Bashfully they looked at the very amused sets of eyes watching them and turned a little pink.

''Sorry.''

The brunette mumbled as she took another gulp of wine to try and forget she had just embarrassed herself by bickering with Quinn about board games.

''No please, continue, we're highly entertained here!''

Warren teased as he gestured between them. Amy chuckled and shook her head as she made a few notes on the writing pad she had brought with her which she and Warren had both been doing as the actresses had forgotten themselves. It was actually good for them to see because it gave them context for their respective articles that they would be writing.

Everyone was used to their displays of affection and their good-natured bickering and all that kind of thing because they were friends. If they were near each other then some sort of goofing around was going to happen. They had jumped in on each other in front of interviewers and cameras and all kinds of different things before. Rachel had answered questions on Quinn and visa versa and there had been lots of punking and jokes going on between them for everyone to see and laugh at.

This was definitely different. It was the same old them but there was no mistaking the change between them.

''You can make us sound a lot cooler than we were just then right?''

Quinn rolled her eyes at herself as she had been thinking much the same thoughts as Rachel but chuckled as she too sipped her drink.

''Okay, so the point was to give you an actual interview so you had something to write about and not argue over how Quinn cheats at board games – so lets do that!''

The blonde rolled her eyes at Rachel's last shot over the Scrabble thing (which she was so much better at even when Rachel studied the dictionary to prepare) and relaxed back into her seat. She just wanted to wind her up because she just knew that she would get 'punished' for it later.

''There has been rumors about you two for years – how long have you actually been together?''

Amy started with the most logical question. It was probably the first thing anyone would want to actually know due to the heavy amount of speculation they had anyway.

''We've been together for a few months. Before then nothing has ever happened between us other than friendship. We grew up together which is why we've always been perceived as being so close – obviously we've just been very used to each other. Plus you know, the whole lesbian-bi thing.''

Rachel answered easily as she looked at Quinn for a moment for affirmation. The blonde just nodded in agreement as she took Rachel's hand comfortably and gave it a squeeze.

''What changed?''

Quinn exhaled a long breath of air as she tried to sum up what had changed exactly. She thought she was beginning to understand a little better now. After her little meltdown and Santana's verbal bitch slap at the coffee shop the blonde had a fair few theories on why it had taken so long for her to either realize or actually fall in love with Rachel – she had a hunch it was probably a mixture of both.

Rachel glanced over at Quinn with her own theories obviously running through her eyes but restraining herself to answer because it was hard to get around the whole story without the _whole _story. She didn't want to say anything that Quinn would be uncomfortable with – that would have to come later and with preparation and a chance for the blonde to sort out how she felt about everything. This was just meant to be an announcement of their relationship.

So for a moment all they did was look at one another and use their silent language to communicate.

''I think in the transformation from enemies to friends

''I think _we _changed. In school we changed from enemies to best friends – and there was always a lot going on back then. We've both been in different relationships and working and all kinds of stuff. The way we see it is that during all of that we overlooked our feelings for each other. I think we had to wait to realize _and _actually fall in love both at the same time.''

The blonde summed up as best she could. It was true – they had probably just been blinded by the obvious. With all the commotion and everything that happened in their lives – it had just gone unnoticed somehow – mistaken as friendship. It was easy to do. They had been sort of acting like a couple for years they just hadn't realized that that's what they were supposed to be.

''Why continue to deny anything was going on between you?''

''We wanted the time and the space to explore this aspect of us like everyone gets to. It's ours and we wanted it to remain like that until we were ready.''

Rachel said as she leant forward and topped everyone's glasses up dutifully.

''So no one knew?''

''Our family and friends know now, but no – no one knew.''

Rachel scoffed as she gave her girlfriend a look.

''Except for your entire cast and crew.''

''Not my fault you couldn't keep your hands or your _mouth _to yourself when you came onto the set. Discrete thy name is _not _Rachel Berry!''

That was pretty much how the entire interview went. It consisted of the pertinent questions that both Warren and Amy thought needed to be included and their perception of the relationship and then just happy and sweet fluff and meaning that it needed. Some back story and little stories to throw in.

The rest was just chitchat with drinks and all in all it had turned out to be a rather pleasant evening. Quinn – as ordered by her best friend – had her choices back to Santana and did not ask about her 'lunch' date with Brittney.

There had been agreements shared about the day the articles were to be printed – the day after tomorrow – and things had been sorted. So far so good – it felt like a healthy step and a positive step. There was no apprehension with either of them about taking this step – no apprehension from Quinn about the fact it was really her first step in what ultimately would lead to her secrets being revealed.

They took the rest of the night to relax. Will had shared a couple of drinks with them but had been on his way soon after because he didn't want to leave Emma alone for too long despite her assurances that she was perfectly fine (and they had said she probably was relieved to get rid of him for a little while). In this particular bar it could feel like old times – it could feel like they weren't celebrities and they could just relax and enjoy the atmosphere – join in on whatever the band was playing and dance and talk.

Or as it ended making out in a corner booth that was hard to see for anyone else. So the girls had returned to Quinn's a little drunk and giggly and more than just a little bit amorous.

So of course 'amorous' had lead to further things…

''Harder...''

Rachel stalled slightly at both the desperation and the bite in Quinn's request. It was actually more of a demand and though despite she was very used to receiving orders from the blonde in bed tonight she stalled – unaccustomed to this particular method of sex.

The brunette singer had known about quite a lot of Quinn's predilections in bed. The blonde was definitely an experimental lover and during college Rachel had heard some rather interesting sounds floating out from her girlfriend's room. As they had engaged in a sexual relationship she had begun to find out why.

This was the first time that they were using a strap on together even though Rachel knew that Quinn had used one many times before. It was hers after all and when they had been getting heavy tonight the actress had asked her to use it. Rachel found it impossible to decline with the way those eyes had been looking at her and her hands had been doing _phenomenal_ things with her breasts. It wasn't that she was opposed to using it at all but she did have to wonder why Quinn wanted to.

''Rachel...fuck me harder. Please, I need you.''

Rachel panted as she braced herself over Quinn and began to thrust harder as she watched her closely for a moment. Quinn's head pushed back into the pillows and her mouth was agape and she looked completely submerged in pleasure. There was seemingly nothing untoward going on and it spurred Rachel on as her thrusts turned into heavy pounding. Her abs burnt a little and she could feel her body hot with the exertion but it was in the best way. She had to admit that having Quinn under her like this was a heady sensation.

The blonde's hands gripped her sides or her back or her hair and could never settle. Rachel was pretty sure there might be some red marks down her back in the morning but she didn't care. Quinn once again dragged her fingertips along her skin as she moaned loudly and Rachel ducked her head to kiss and nip at the blonde's sticky exposed neck.

The pounding was frantic now and as Quinn sucked in a breath and her body tensed beneath her with hips lurching up and tensing she knew that her girlfriend was tipping over the edge.

''Cum for me baby. I want you to cum hard for me. I want you to look at me when you do.''

Quinn swallowed hard and forced her eyes to open and looked up at her girlfriend. Those dark chocolate orbs were almost black with desire and even through all that lust Quinn could see the conviction of love and respect that backed it up. Seeing the combination sent her plummeting over the edge and she kept her eyes connected to Rachel's as the orgasm ripped through her.

''Rachel...oh my god...''

Quinn held onto her lover as Rachel rode her through the orgasm and only slowed as her body began to relax. Finally as Quinn collapsed fully down onto the mattress of her bed again the brunette slowed to a stop and hovered her over as she panted and placed kisses everywhere her mouth could reach until Quinn was ready to be coaxed into a kiss again.

''I love you...thank you.''

The actress wrapped her arms around Rachel tightly as she panted still and kissed her shoulder. She liked her weight on top of her Rachel wasn't heavy by any means and it was a good weight not a bad one.

''I love you too.''

After another moment Rachel kissed Quinn again before slowly drawing out of her and rolling onto her back. That had certainly been an interesting work out for her. It was only the second time she had ever used one of these in her life and being on the giving end instead of the receiving end was certainly an adjustment.

''You're worried that I go to some dark place.''

Quinn said knowingly without having to ask or even look at Rachel. She doesn't make a move to turn onto her side because for the moment she's still recovering from her orgasm and the effort of sex. But she can feel Rachel's eyes on her despite that the brunette doesn't move either.

''A little.''

''I don't. I just enjoy variety. I don't think about what happened to me, I don't think about him, and I'm not trying to hurt myself. I just enjoy sex and I enjoy it even more when it's with someone I love and trust.

It took some time to understand that sex didn't abuse me, neither did something like this. He did. You know I don't use it to self-destruct anymore. I'm happy and I'm healthy and using toys like this is just an exploration of sex. Which I very much enjoy having with you.''

Rachel couldn't help but smile and even a small chuckle escaped her throat. It's not that she thought that Quinn wouldn't be able to enjoy it like this or had some ulterior motive that always had to lead back to a dark place but to her it had come a little out of the blue because Quinn had never brought it up until tonight.

Still – Rachel supposed that they were steadily exploring how far they could take each other and how far they wanted and were willing to go. It didn't seem so odd that they hadn't tried it yet because everything had just been progressing – though the brunette thought that a sex life with her and Quinn meant that they were always be progressing and experimenting. She could handle that.

Rachel tilted her head to the side as she felt and saw from the corner of her eye Quinn do the same thing.

''You made it your mission to heal me Rachel and you did.''

X*x*x*X

msrachelberry

Rachel Berry

Looking forward to the diversity ball tonight and even better that I can show up hand in hand with my beautiful girlfriend quinnfabray. Faberry is now official :D

quinnfabray

Quinn Fabray

rachelberry = love

X*x*x*X

By the time they made it out of the car and onto the carpeted entrance to the ball it felt like the whole world knew their news. Their Twitter posts alone caused a surge of responses and were immediately picked up on by every and any media outlet. Keeping to their word Warren and Amy held their stories until the last print to be published that day complete with a pair of couple pictures which they had done yesterday to add to the articles.

So when Quinn stepped out of the car first with a sloping and knowing smirk and held her hand out for Rachel to hold to help her out of the car the roar of excitement and questions and demands for pictures was almost deafening.

It was a whirlwind but the best thing about it was that they got to be themselves – they got to grip each others hands and smile politely for pictures and actually act like the couple in love that they were. They answered some questions and laughed a little with people and signed some things for fans before they got ushered into the building to meet an awaiting Santana and Brittney who had arrived a half hour earlier.

All in all it was a great day.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N - Bit of a strange chapter but felt it was necessary. I do need some advice though on what happens next in regard to Quinn and her award nomination and also if anyone knows the procedure of such an event would you care to enlighten a poor little Irish girl? Anyways - as always suggestions are welcome and definitely any opinion on whether she should win/lose and on the ins and outs of glitzy stuff like that then give me a shout!**

**XXX**

_Quinn! Over here! We love you! Over here!_

Quinn was a little flustered by the merging of voices all competing with one another to gain her attention. She hadn't expected the onslaught of fans to be gathered by the entryway of the studio. It was early and the streets were pretty quiet so far and the air had yet to lose its chill. Still there was a sizable group of fans hanging around the doors with things to sign and cameras to take pictures with. There was a little motley crew of paparazzi too because more so than usual neither she nor Rachel had been able to shake them for very long since they had announced their relationship.

It was very early and Quinn hadn't slept much after long hours of shooting. Even today she had a late afternoon call that would lead into the small hours. She was up early to get to the dance studio that belonged to Brittney – the blonde which was currently by her side – and after here she would be going straight to her therapist's office, then she was going to an InStyle magazine shoot/interview before going to a read through for the next episode's script – then she would start filming.

''Hi, who should I make this out to?''

The blonde asked with a tired but warm smile as she turned to the next person in the huddle who had a magazine with her. It was easily recognisable as Warren's article with her and Rachel's interview and pictures of them separately and together. The girl in possession of it handed her a purple Sharpie with a nervously excited beam across her face as she bounced on the balls of her feet.

''Olivia please, thank you so much. I came down because I wanted to say thank you for being so open about your sexuality and stuff. You're It Gets Better video is awesome and it really helps kids like me know there's something better than what happens at school. It's nice to have someone to look up to. God, I'm rambling again…apparently I do that.''

Quinn laughed lightly as she listened to the complimentary ramble. The girl – Olivia she presumed – barely stopped for breath as she excitedly splurged out what she had come to say. Which was actually pretty awesome. The rambling part reminded Quinn a little bit of Rachel – down to the way that the girl tut at herself and rolled her eyes as she caught herself doing it. It was pretty damn sweet really.

It was probably her favourite part of what she did when she met people that she somehow had managed to have a positive affect on. It was why she was so willing to be open like that and getting one person – especially a teenager – say something like that to her made all the 'you're going to burn in hell' crap totally wash over her like water rolling off a ducks back. At least she was helping someone in some slight way. It was one of the best feelings ever.

''You shouldn't stop doing that, it's cute. You having a rough time at school Olivia?''

The girl shrugged a little and hiked up her bag on her shoulder a little more.

''Sometimes I guess. It's just hard to be different.''

Quinn observed the girl in front of her a little. She was dressed a little rock chick and had colour in her hair and badges all over her bag. She was definitely alternative. But she had a sweet face and there was a little sparkle in her eyes that reminded her of Rachel too when they were in school and she dusted herself off when anyone metaphorically pushed her into the dirt. It was a strong sign.

''Yeah it is. It will get better though, not perfect – but better. You gotta hang tough 'cos when they're still trying to figure everything out they'll be eating your dust. Kay?''

''Okay! Thanks Quinn! Could I maybe have my picture taken with you?''

''Sure sweetheart. Uh…B? Could you take a picture for us?''

Brittney hopped up from signing her own merry band of fans' things with a happy smirk as she nodded and held out her hand for the girls' camera. Quinn moved to stand next to her and looped her arm around her and gave her a squeeze as Brittney promptly snapped a couple of pictures just to be sure.

''Thank you so much you totally made my day!''

Quinn chuckled at the girls' excitement.

''Actually you pretty much made mine. If you stick around for another half hour or so I'm pretty sure a particular brunette will be arriving.''

''_Really_?

Quinn nodded with a lopsided smirk as she signed something to a guy called Greg because when you got asked so sign multiple items all at the same time you kind of got used to talking and listening to and retaining names at the same time.

''Yep, our secret.''

15 minutes later and both Quinn and Brittney managed to get inside after signing copious amounts of stuff, taking many pictures and talking a little with a few people. Quinn had sent her girlfriend a text telling her to look out for the kid she had talked to – the girl had just pulled on her heartstrings a little and she really had reminded her a little of Rachel which was always a good thing.

Now that she was inside though the actress began to get her mindset focused. They were here to rehearse the choreography that Brittney had done for Rachel's newest video for a song that she would be releasing.

The concept was pretty simple. Most of the video would be just Rachel and herself doing a waltz/tango ballroom dancing type dance together and toward the end Rachel would be tempted by 5 other dancers who essentially challenge Quinn but would ultimately lose. Brittney would be one of those dancers and somehow – Quinn had absolutely no idea as to how – Rachel had managed to convince Santana to do it too given that she was such a good dancer too. The blonde really didn't want to know what kind of deal Rachel had had to agree to – or what she had put Brittney up for doing for Santana!

The moral was that it was mainly going to be the pair of them together locked in this dark and seductive kind of waltz type thing and nothing would separate them. The song was written about them so to Rachel it made all the sense in the world to have her in it and Quinn couldn't say no very easily to her girlfriend.

''Q? Can I ask you something?''

Brittney wondered from her stretching position a couple of feet away. Quinn looked up at her and nodded quickly.

''Of course Brittney.''

''Are you and Rach gunna like, get married and stuff now?''

The question kind of floored Quinn because she hadn't been expecting anything like that. Brittney had the tendency on asking the most poignant and massive questions sometimes.

''Uh, I don't know B – maybe one day. Why do you ask?''

The dancer shrugged as she moved in her position to stretch out another way. They were going to get in a little extra head start since Quinn would have just a little more dance to learn for the start of the video than Rachel. Hence why she was here at a stupid hour – plus the brunette had had a short but very early set call this morning.

''Sometimes I kinda think Santana and me getting married was a bad thing.''

''_What_?''

Okay – alarm bells. Major alarm bells with full on panic going on right now. Her strangled squeak could attest to that.

''Brittney…what…are you telling me you're thinking of leaving Santana?''

''Leave her where? She gets mad when I wonder off and leave her somewhere. I get lost a lot.''

''No, honey – I mean splitting up with her. Like you don't want to be married to her anymore?''

Brittney gave her the most confused look she had ever shot her way.

''But I love Santana. She's the best thing that ever happened to me I love being married to her.''

Quinn started to relax a little and the tightness in her chest that she suspected felt like a heart attack for people began to slacken off.

''Oh, well good. Then why do you think getting married was a bad thing if you love being married to her?''

This time Brittney looked up at her with the saddest and guiltiest expression she had ever seen.

''Because I sometimes think that the only reason I am is because of you. Because of what happened to you. And what happened was really bad Q and it stopped you from realising that you loved Rachel for like, all this time. And how is it okay that I got what I wanted with Santana when you were going through the worst time of your life? Kinda makes me a sucky friend.''

Quinn was still frowning a little in confusion as Brittney blurted out her conclusion that she had obviously come to after turning this idea around in her head for quite some time. She looked honestly torn about the whole thing – and every guilty and as though she had no idea what to do about it.

It threw the actress quite a bit she had never known that Brittney had felt like this. She had found out a long time ago about Santana's reaction to the news when it had reached the other Glee kids. It hadn't been a good one. Apparently things had been thrown (and broken), long Spanish rants had been never ending and it was the first time most of them realised that Santana did actually have the ability to cry. Apparently she was only stopped by the guys from going all 'Lima Heights Adjacent' on Russell but for real. She'd ended up a sobbing mass at Brittney's house so the story had gone. Quinn however had heard all of this from anyone but Santana because her Latina friend had been nothing short of amazing and hadn't talked about that part of her reaction.

''You're wrong, Britt. It wasn't the worst time of my life. Every day before that? Yeah it pretty much felt like hell in a black hole. But when you're talking about? I suddenly got reminded that I had these amazing people in my life that were there for me when I needed them. You were all nothing short of amazing, B. I'm happy that Santana came to her senses with you.

Horrible things happen everyday. It's a good thing when positive things come out of them like you and her. You were and always have been the best friends that a girl could ask for.

As for Rachel and I – well, whatever the reasons the only thing that matters now is that we're happy. You're happy and we're happy and that's all that matters, right?''

''Right! Thanks Q, I love you so much. And I'm glad that you and Rachel are together now, it's totally awesome.''

''Thanks B, I love you too.''

Quinn laughed as Brittney practically pounced on her for a hug and the shifting of weight made them both topple over onto the floor with squeaks and more laughter. Brittney was seriously like a human teddy bear. If anyone ever needed a hug then Brittney would gladly just sidle on up and give them one. She was so affectionate and genuine with everyone. Like just now the worry had been real but she had been honest because it didn't occur to her not to ask or lie about it. Quinn liked that about her.

She had always thought that Brittney had a special quality that she wished more people had. It was something that most adults lost – they gave up their sense of wonder and it was a crying shame as far as the actress was concerned. Maybe if people kept hold of it for longer or never let go like Brittney then maybe people on mass would be happier.

X*x*x*X

''I don't need to be driven to therapy, you know.''

Quinn pointed out huffily as she sank into the passengers seat of the car as Rachel navigated through the mid morning traffic. They had had a rather intense dance work out with Brittney and Santana and things had gone well. Rachel however had insisted on driving her across town to her therapists office but in that parent way. She had been organising with Santana over things and told the Latina that she was going to drive Quinn and drop her off and it had made the blonde feel like she was a kid.

''I know.''

Rachel responded neutrally as she glared at a car in front of her before pulling off to the right. Quinn side glanced her girlfriend darkly.

''I don't. I'm a big girl. I'm quite capable.''

''I know.''

Quinn let out a frustrated breath at the once again neutral response.

''Rachel, why do you think I'm going to skip it?''

Rachel sighed as she glanced at her for a moment before looking out onto the road. She was quiet for long minutes and Quinn just waited. It had been a long time since she had blown off a therapy session. Sometimes she had to change the times or reschedule because of work but that was just standard practice for anything in the life of an actress.

''I don't think you'll skip it. I just…you don't talk to me about how you're feeling about things being so open and it makes me worried that it's too much and you'll regret doing it or regret more than that because it's the first domino to fall toward the inevitable truth so it's just a little reassuring that you're actually going is all.''

Quinn lifted an eyebrow as Rachel jabbered on without a breath and she stared at her girlfriend like she had suddenly sprung a third head.

''Okay, do _you _want to go to my therapy session?''

She asked sardonically though kind of seriously. Rachel huffed indignantly and Quinn continued to glower. She didn't know where this sudden stupid idea had come from – Quinn was pretty damn sure that she had done nothing but communicate her feelings on this whole thing. She had been an extremely willing participate on announcing their relationship and she had voiced her awareness on what other information about her would eventually follow.

What else was needed? What else could she say?

''How about how you actually feel about it?''

Dr. Morales probed astutely. Quinn grimaced. Rachel hadn't said anything else in the car and the rest of their journey had been made in silence. They had shared a brief kiss and muttered exchanges of goodbye's and love yous before Quinn had exited the car. Now she found herself sat on the leather couch in Dr. Elena Morales' office squirming a little under her knowing gaze.

Stupid psychiatrists.

''What am I supposed to say about that either?''

Dr. Morales held a light shrug as she gestured with her hand.

''Whatever it is that's festering inside of you.''

Again – stupid psychiatrists.

''I'm…I'm terrified. And confused. And so, so angry.''

''Why?''

Quinn flailed.

''Because I don't like feeling exposed. I don't like feeling that I belong to the public mass. I didn't become an actress for any other reason that I like to act and play parts and bring characters to life. Why does that mean I owe everyone every piece of me? Why is it any of their business what I've been through? I'm going to have to live it all again and they won't even get it. I'll be exposed – again. I'll be vulnerable – again. It'll feel…it'll feel…''

''It's okay, you can say it.''

Quinn bit her bottom lip as she tried to control herself and let out a shaky emotional breath.

''It'll feel like being raped all over again. But the worst of it is that part of me wants it to happen. It's a crushing secret and I think sometimes what if letting it happen works for me? What if I'm freer because of that? Then I start thinking how fucking insane and fucked up that is. I just equated it with rape and I _want _it to happen? That's just…I don't even know what that is. Am I asking for it? _Was _I asking for it? It's just so stuck in my head and I know that when it happens – more so than ever before – I'll be 'that' girl. I'll never be able to do anything to get rid of it, will I?''

Quinn hadn't expected even half of that word vomit to splurge from her mouth. That's the kind of thing that tended to happen in this office though. Her therapist was good at her job and she found ways to drag information out of her that Quinn didn't even know was there. Sometimes it was kind of annoying but completely necessary.

''I just…I put my life back together and it doesn't mean anything, does it? It's okay to be there every single day and that's all I'll ever really be.''

''You're afraid that one of the sum of your parts will become the whole.''

Dr. Morales summed up – she had a unique way of doing that – of putting everything you felt into a nice neat little metaphor that was far easier to understand than a giant waffle like what she had just come out with. But Quinn related to that immediately. It was like suddenly it made sense. In her own head it was all confusing but having it said back to her like that – yeah that's exactly what she was feeling.

Being a public figure could be hard because there was a massive downside to it. Generally it was fine and people respected their boundaries. The gossip mill always churned and being followed around by nosey shutterbugs was something you were forced to get used to unless they crossed a really bad line. People had their opinions and Quinn had heard the bad ones with the good ones. She had developed an attitude that accepted anything constructive but not anything that went beyond that. Like the time she was ambushed by a stupid right wing conservative religious reporter. There would always be people out there that didn't like you for whatever reason and that was okay. Not everybody could like everyone, right?

Quinn didn't mind sharing. She really didn't. There was a lot of information out there about her – things that people just liked to know. She had been asked for all kinds of personal information and views and opinions and likes and dislikes. People knew her favourite colour – they knew her favourite film – they knew all kinds of things. They knew every time she had a girlfriend and every time she broke up with one. They knew she liked photography and all kinds of things like that.

Some people had made up their minds about her because she was gay. And people were going to make their minds up about her because of her abusive past. She was going to be tarred with that brush in their eyes for the rest of her life without an escape.

''I'm not afraid of being judged anymore – you sort of have to get used to it. But this is different. I've worked so hard for it not to define me – but to those that don't know me well enough, it will. It'll be all they'll see and I'm so much more than what he did to me, and what I did to myself. My life has become so much more.''

''I know you know this, but I feel like we need to revisit it.

There is no such thing as un-emotional sex. Sex is always, without fail, a physical release or outcome of some kind of feeling. Whether that feeling is love, pain, hate, too much or too little self worth, loneliness…there's just no such thing as sex without feeling. Sex is also built into our self-esteem and belief system in some way shape or form. We have control of it. It's ours and it's intimate and private and we get to chose who we give it to because the general concept is that it is a choice and its ours to make because we own ourselves.

When that control and that choice gets taken away – it inflicts conflict on everything it's attached to causing a crisis in our sense of self. Many survivors of rape, including yourself, come to the conclusion that your control is none existent and therefore you're not worth anything except sex – which ultimately destroys your esteem further because at the same time you want someone to have sex with you to make you feel you're worth that much – it makes you even more demoralised and has the opposite affect.

And that's because your control is still questionable. It's because the once good associated motivations behind sex have turned into negative ones because something happened to you against your will. And with all the pressure society has today about being responsible and especially for girls to not give away something and to not let a man take something away from them – ultimately feelings of blame filter in.

No one asks to be raped. Not a child, not an adult, not a woman or a man. There are no circumstances where sex without consent is acceptable. Not if the victim is drunk, if they are 'provocatively' dressed, if they're too afraid to say no, if they're assaulted, or if they don't understand that it is in fact rape.

Rape is different to sex because it is driven not by the seeking of pleasure, but of control and power. Sexual arousal comes secondary to those very specific motivations. It's to gain more and exert control and power by taking away those of another person.

You're control was taken away from you. Now you're sat there asking yourself if by exposing yourself in a very intimate way it equates to the same thing. But the key factor you're missing right now is that you're _choosing_ what to do. You have the control to speak out and say this is something that happened to you in your past, and the control to keep it hidden.

Quinn you're very candid around the issues of sex. We know you have a very explorative and adventurous sexual drive and you're motivations behind them are once again positive ones. You love Rachel and you trust in her so you freely chose to explore your physical intimacy with her in the ways you do. You have your control back and you've used it to achieve some very wonderful things.

I don't think your apprehension stems directly from the fear that some people may see only one thing about you, or that being so exposed would be a metaphorical equivalent to rape. I think it has more to do with the fact that you worry that if you give away the control you have established then you will let those negative motivations and feelings creep back in.

I also think there is only one person that you worry about only seeing that one part of you if so many other people do or if it's in the public forum.

I think that you've formed part of your self worth through Rachel's eyes, and therefore by giving up your control will make _her _see you differently and will make _her_ motivations change.''

Quinn sat in her seat with such a stillness that she may as well have been a statue. The only movement that could be seen was the very small movement of her chest to suggest that she was breathing and the tears that began to slip out of her eyes.

The words that the other woman was saying slammed straight into her and right into her heart. She could recognise them easily and despite having not been able to see them quite so clearly she knew them. She felt them.

They were a complicated mass of tangles inside of her gut but they were there. Nothing in her life would ever be straight forward – or almost nothing. Her love for Rachel was straight forward but apparently everything that came with it wasn't.

''I can't stand the idea of her looking at me any other way than how she does right now.''

The actress whispered hoarsely.

''Has she ever?''

Quinn thought about it. From that first moment Rachel had never looked at her the way she was afraid she would. From the moment that the brunette convinced her to open her eyes when they were 16 there had never been anything but a respective adoration and understanding. Every time that Quinn did something stupid like sleeping around and had to look Rachel in the face about it there was never anything but understanding. There was an acceptance and determination and a sadness that wasn't about her but for her. It wasn't disappointment it was empathy.

Why was she so fucking stupid sometimes? The woman had been devoted to her since the second she had turned up at her house. She had given up her fiancé for her because she _didn't _see one thing in her. Rachel's voice had been the strongest and the loudest in convincing her that she wasn't a freak, that she wasn't damaged or fucked up or tainted or disgusting. In fact she had acted like it was a personal insult every time Quinn had said something remotely close to that idea.

It was funny the things you missed when they were staring you straight in the face.

''Okay, I get it. I have issues about letting myself be loved so I'm pulling everything back to this one thing to maybe try and sabotage it, right? Sabotage myself?''

Quinn's brain hurt with epiphany goodness. Dr. Morales smiled softly as she gestured at her.

''Perhaps you should be the therapist.''

The blonde had to actually laugh at that as she rolled her eyes and accepted the box of tissues from the other woman.

''I feel like a total asshole.''

''You're not an asshole. You've been through an inordinate amount, Quinn, at a very young age. Will it ever completely go away? No. But you have to remember yourself that the sum of your parts is not greater than the whole. You have come such a long, long way – you've rebuilt your life and yourself and you should be incredibly proud of yourself for that. The good things you get in life – you deserve them. And don't say that you don't, because you would say the same thing to any other survivor.''

''Hey, you can't tell me what to do!''

''I can and I will! I know you believe wholeheartedly in those concepts because of the work you do with survivors. Because you've let yourself become who you are – and that's a massive key in recovery. Giving yourself back your own control and knowing that you neither gave it away, or can be blamed for having it taken from you. You have it and you can use it. You're in control and you have the power.''

X*x*x*X

''Where's Benson?''

''Oh, he's in his trailer grabbing a nap.''

Quinn smirked evilly as her eyebrow arched and a mean plan drifted into her brain. Benson Crew was one of her best friends. The moment they met they had sort of fallen in love with each other. They were what Santana termed as 'bros' and they were like little kids with the amount of mischief they got up to. They were always pulling pranks and goofing around together.

They spent a hell of a lot of time together given that they were the leads on the show and they had to get all up involved with intense scenes not to mention their characters were in this deep love with each other that they hadn't acted on yet. But there were intense scenes where simple gestures were almost a metaphor for something else kind of like how it was for Mulder and Scully. They were getting closer though but of course it wasn't that simple and things were going to get complicated with the storyline and how it was going to explode – Rachel's character was definitely part of that.

Today they had a scene where they would have to be stripped down together for some emergency quarantine procedure in the scene. Quinn was comfortable with Benson. He was older and a much more established actor than she was so she learnt a lot off of him. He was easy to work with and he made it easier to do her job when she was with him.

They had constant interviews together and photo shoots together and appearances together so it was a good thing that they got along so well.

Quinn stealthily snuck into her friends' trailer and bit down on her bottom lip to keep herself from laughing. She stalked quietly along the passageway and toward the back where the large bed was. Benson was sprawled along it on his back sleeping quietly. Not for long because Quinn quite happily jumped across him and laughed loudly as she did so.

''Oh my god woman how much do you weigh?''

Benson groaned in a cough after having the air unceremoniously forced out of him. Quinn giggled but slapped him on the chest indignantly.

''Shut up! You're like 200 pounds you big baby!''

It was true. Benson was an extremely strapping guy with a large well build frame that all the girls gushed over. He was definitely imposing and totally and utterly ripped to perfection. He was gruffly hansom with dark hair that usually looked like he had just rolled out of bed. He normally had a thin layer of gruff across his face.

Quinn squealed as he grabbed her and easily spun her around as he tickled her lightly before dumping her off to the side.

''I suppose I can deal with a gorgeous girl jumping on me in the middle of the afternoon.''

The blonde scoffed as she once again slapped him but this time on the stomach.

''Don't flatter yourself stud! Rumour has it I'm down with the ladies!''

Quinn quipped as she made herself comfortable on 'her side' of the bed. Benson scoffed through his yawn as he scratched through his hair and sat up a little.

''And you don't consider me a lady? I'm offended! Where've you been all morning when I've been slaving away?''

''Oh don't even…dance rehearsal and therapy. Care to trade our respective mornings?''

Benson shook his head quickly. He was not gifted with the dance by any way shape or form. He just got picked on for tripping over his own feet. Benson grunted as he outstretched his arm in the universal sign that offered a snuggle.

Quinn smirked and shuffled up and pretty much draped herself over him with her head propped on his shoulder. It was nice to get a hug after therapy. She smiled as he gave her a kiss on top of her head and gave her a squeeze. In actual fact Benson was like a Mother Hen. He was the same way with his son Jonas who she adored to little pieces. He was 2 years old and regularly came by the set. That was when everyone abandoned all sense of work ethic and instead went to play with the baby!

Benson's girlfriend had dumped him with their son and hightailed it to 'greener pastures' unknown to anyone.

''I have a confession to make.''

He spoke after a moment. Quinn just grunted lightly because she was just a little sleepy and Benson kind of make an awesome pillow.

''I know your secret.''

''My secret?''

''Do you remember last year when your trailer sort of…broke? You bunked with me a couple of days before it got replaced and we were practically living together 'cos we were behind in the production?''

Quinn nodded as she yawned.

''When we virtually lived at work for a couple of weeks?''

Benson nodded.

''Yeah. Well, I never told you but…the times you slept in here you had some pretty aggressive nightmares. And you're a sleep talker so…I heard things. Things that you probably go to those therapy sessions for.''

''Why didn't you tell me?''

Quinn moved her head to look up at him but didn't immediately pull away. He was trying to tell her tentatively and with the affection of a friend he wasn't trying to make her uncomfortable.

''I figured you'd tell me when you were ready, if ever. I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable. But despite my dazzling good looks I'm not just a pretty face. I know this thing with you and Rachel will open up the can of worms eventually – and I know you – I know how you think. And I just wanted to let you know that whatever you do, decide, or happens I'll be right here to back you up. I also wanted to let you know how awesome I think you are – definitely the strongest, most remarkable woman I know. Plus you put up with me and that's like, a miracle in itself! Just…you have friends that'll stand behind you whatever you do.''

Quinn sat up a little and turned sort of at an odd angle so she didn't pull away but propped herself up by her elbow so she could look at Benson properly. She didn't speak for a long moment because she didn't quite know what to say about that. A whole year had gone by with him knowing about her because of her nightmares that came and went? And throughout all that year he hadn't acted differently or looked at her differently.

Benson still chased her around with a water gun. He picked her up and threw her over his shoulder like she was a doll. He spun her around in bear hugs and goofed off with her. All those times that she had just needed a hug he hadn't thought anything of it other than that they were friends and that's what they did. It didn't stop him from doing anything they would normally do.

He hadn't molly coddled her. He hadn't treated her softly. He hadn't been weird when their characters dealt with difficult abuse plots. He had just been himself. He had just been her friend and that was it. Exactly what she would want and expect of him.

They spent the next half hour talking about it. Or rather Quinn giving him a very brief but pertinent explanation of what had happened. It centred mostly on things that had happened after. She told him about getting pregnant and going to Rachel for help and the way she had found a family through it. That her parents had taken her and made them her daughter. Russell was still doing time and she hadn't heard from her Mother or her sister since the court proceedings were over.

''He ever gets out you send him to me and I'll teach him a few things about being a man.''

Quinn scoffed lightly.

''Yeah you'd have to get passed Rachel first, she already chewed him out and slapped him across the face. After the cops beat him up. He'll get out soon. His first parole was denied but his sentence is over next year. 11 years 6 months.''

There was a strong knock on the trailer door and an insistent voice that they were both due at wardrobe in 5 minutes. Quinn sighed and ran a hand through her hair as she sat up but looked down to regard her friend. Reaching out she stretched her palm across the side of his face gently.

''You're a great friend Benson. Thank you.''

Benson just smiled and shrugged a little before planting a kiss on her forehead before hiking himself up and helping her off the bed too.

''C'mon gorgeous – let's go get half naked together!''

The actor moaned as he got smacked upside the head as they made their way out onto the lot. From there on the two began to squabble like little kids until the nudging started which turned into shoving. Shoving turned into actual light and pseudo fighting which ultimately Quinn lost because as Benson lunged for her she squealed like a pansy and tried to run away.

That didn't work. Instead – after a few minutes – Benson walked through the rest of the lot and into wardrobe with Quinn thrown comfortably over his shoulder. Her protests had turned into childish giggles which did not surprise anyone that turned their way.

''Anyone wanna sign for this package I got here?''

He declared loudly as he bounced Quinn a little bit on his shoulder which made her grunt lightly.

''Quit it Benson!''

It didn't change from there on out as the two continued to behave like the little kids they could behave like. Their scene took much longer than necessary because they couldn't keep a straight face with one another. They were in high kid gear and they kept fooling around and pulling pranks and every time they looked at one another they kept laughing.

No one really seemed to care – in fact it kept the atmosphere lively as the afternoon turned into early evening then into late evening and the night.

X*x*x*X

''So, Kurt is keeping the dresses in LA so any last minute adjustments can be made there. He's also booked us in for the standard hair and make up pre-show. We're staying at The Beverly Hills Hotel and we have an updated itinerary we should go through along with a checklist…''

Rachel squealed as she was cut off in her rant and she tried to clutch onto the couple pieces of paper that constituted said itinerary and checklist. Rachel had her 'all business' head on – the one that reminded Quinn of the bossy and unyielding teenager that would go head to head with anyone in Glee over what the best set list was.

During the past week and a half she had been organising _everything_. Santana had already booked them into shows and interviews left right and centre and Quinn was already going to be doing a little bit of filming because their production was going to take advantage of an on location shoot. She was also doing a quick cameo guest star in a comedy that was filmed in LA. So it was barely going to be a break as it was. Apparently not even the break she thought it was going to be if Rachel had her way.

All this fuss was just plain weird for a girl from Ohio. Sure it was fun to get dressed up and enjoy some glitz and glam every now and then but it was still weird! Kurt had insisted on taking care of their fashion for the awards and they trusted him enough to do so. Not to mention the fact that he was making quite the name for himself in that world.

''Quinn!''

The protest came through a rather girly giggle as Rachel couldn't hide her amusement at being cut off given that Quinn had wrapped her arms around her and pulled her down onto the sun chair that she was sat on. Though it wasn't sunny – it wasn't' even daytime. She had come up onto the roof armed with a few beers and a rug. Rachel had followed her up and had been pacing just in front of her as she had been reeling off of that paper.

''That's my name, don't wear it out.''

Rachel nudged into her girlfriend and knowing that she wasn't about to be let go of she just stretched out comfortably and snuggled into her girlfriend. Quinn more so than her had been working most of the week so any and all chances to decompress were taken gladly. Rachel had been on the set for her scenes and had hung out and had been busy with her own work stuff.

''Well when you win this Emmy then your name will definitely be more worn out than ever! Have you written down something for acceptance?''

Rachel replied matter of factly not completely willing to let her bossy moment go. She knew what Quinn was like in her years since high school she had become quite 'liberal' and rather laid back in her attitude. If Santana hadn't made such arrangements then Quinn would still probably not have booked anything toward the West coast. She tended to forget about these things.

Simply but her girlfriend was like a kid playing in a sandbox. The toys and the sand were the acting opportunities that she got to have and everyone outside of the sandbox that watched her were important but the glitzier toys outside of the box she wasn't all too bothered about playing with.

''No! Rachel I have better things to do with my time, okay? I have scripts to memorise and all that stuff, I'm not sitting down and writing something like that when I don't need to.''

''You don't think you'll win?''

Quinn shrugged nonchalantly.

''Eh not really. Can we order something to eat? I'm starving.''

Rachel looked at the blonde with a perturbed look across her face like she was trying to figure some big secret out. Quinn blinked up at her as she waited and sipped from her bottle.

''What?''

''You really don't think you'll win, do you?''

''Rach, why is it so important? We're gunna go and have fun and glitz it up and rub shoulders with some awesome people that we both really like. I'm going to genuinely applaud for _any _of those women because they're veterans in our field and I think they're fabulous. Good times! Right now though I need _food_!''

The brunette laughed and shook her head in exasperation. Sometimes she thought she could smack Quinn upside the head and yell at her. The blonde really didn't have a damn clue how good she was. Quinn didn't take compliments overly well and she just enjoyed what she did. Which was great because it meant that she wasn't arrogant or anything – but it also meant that she could be a bit clueless.

She didn't think about just how talented of an actress she was. She attributed all of her shows success to everyone else but her part of it. She didn't think about the reasons she constantly got requests and scripts sent to her for varying things. Rachel fully believed that she could and most likely would win this award. She also fully believed that she would win many others.

But for now she had to settle for feeding her girlfriend.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N - Very sorry for those of you who do read this for the giant gap in posts. This is due to some family circumstances involving chronic illness and university obligations. Hopefully will run a bit smoothly again. And once again thanks to everyone that's sent me a message that's really cool and anyone that has any ideas/suggestions I would love to hear them. Thanks.**

XXX

Quinn stared silently out of the window of the plane watching the tiny landscape below drift by but only half taking it in. As they eased across the country toward the West Coast the blonde actress had become somewhat contemplative as thought cascaded through her mind.

She was thinking a lot about Beth. Wondered how she was doing and what her laugh sounded like – whether she was good at singing or if she was into horses or skipping or anything at all really. It was hard not to know those kinds of things. If she liked Disney over Warner character's or something silly but essentially important to a kid like that – things that a Mom should have known. Things Quinn wished that she knew.

If she liked clouds on a sunny day and spinning around until sickness set in or if she liked to swing in the playground – whether she liked milkshake and pancakes and books.

Sometimes she wished things were different. Sometimes she wished that she still had her little girl but the way her life had been when she was born the blonde knew that she could never have provided anything close to what Shelby could. Beth would have been dragged into the insanity of her life and Quinn didn't want to put that on an innocent baby. She was happy where she was and that was the most important thing at the end of the day – Quinn had no desire to upturn her life.

Still it was hard to be a Mother without a child. You still felt those pangs inside – the connection and the instincts. At least Quinn did. And she hoped that's what they were because as far as Mother's went her biological one had definitely had something wrong there. Those instincts had been well and truly buried and if they hadn't been then she had simply ignored them. Either way she was a lousy excuse for a Mother. If she hadn't have known what was happening under her own roof then maybe Quinn could have forgiven her for that but just not when she did know.

Emma on the other hand was the complete opposite and at least now she had a base off which to jump if she were ever to have any more children. Quinn wanted a family even though she was scared of having one – it was just a desire in her chest and with things turning out like they had with Rachel it was now more than ever easier to see kids in her future – their future. It was easier to see the future full stop.

The blonde glanced at her girlfriend who was sleeping soundly in the seat next to her – Rachel was covered in a blanket and was turned to face her in the chair that she had lowered. She looked so cute. Benson was on the opposite isle leaned back a little too with Jonah sat on his knee and they were watching some cartoon or another quietly laughing. Benson had his arms wrapped around his son and it looked so natural and beautiful.

Quinn turned back to look out of the window. Soon they would be landing in Los Angeles and they had to get straight to work when they did. Arthur was already there because he had come a day in advance to set up everything for the LA shoot and they would be meeting him at the studio to do some back-to-back interviews before they did a photo shoot. Then they would be doing a quick read through and she and Rachel would be rehearsing the fight that their characters would be having. After that they would be free!

They didn't have too much planned. It had been a long week anyways and they would be tired today so the mutual plan between them so far was to go back to the hotel and relax – maybe have dinner there or just order room service and slob around for the evening. Considering the business of this visit it might have been the best thing to do.

Plus Rachel had promised they would have some alone time in LA.

''_Mmm…Quinn…stop it…''_

_That was actually painful to say for Rachel – really it was. She didn't want Quinn to stop. She wanted Quinn to continue and forget about the world. Right now she was pushed up against the shower cubicle wall with Quinn's mouth either smothering her own or causing rather ridiculously wonderful sensations by kissing liking and biting down her neck. Seriously – she already wanted to explode. _

_But she had a mission – she had to remember her mission. Her mission was to have hot shower sex with her girlfriend – no! Wait – her mission was to resist hot shower sex with her girlfriend (which made her innately sad) and get her out of the apartment. _

_They had a date to make…_

''Quinn_! Oh god…''_

_Rachel squeaked as she felt the blonde smirk against her neck as she bit her gently – that didn't cause the squeak though – Quinn's fingers running along her inner thigh _very_ close to the very distinct throb between her legs. _

_They were late home because the production had been gruelling and the weather had been unexpectedly horrible and it had just been a shitty afternoon to film. Eventually though they had gotten what they needed and so Rachel was trying to rush them through getting ready and dressed to go to Quinn's parents' to bid them farewell because they left for Los Angeles in the morning._

_Rachel had thought a joint shower would be a good idea to save time. There was a fatal flaw in that theory that she had overlooked – Quinn's hormones and her inability to say no to her._

_Her eyes fluttered shut and she sucked her bottom lip between her teeth as her resistance began to waver. Quinn kept touching her in all the gloriously right places and she began to see patterns behind her eyelids. _

''_We can be a little late…''_

_**45 minutes later**_

''_Uh, Rachel c'mon…please?''_

_They had spent the last 45 minutes – or rather Rachel had spent the last 45 minutes – struggling to clothe Quinn and herself. Apparently giving in to the other woman had been a very big mistake. She had barely managed to get them dressed and had to try and contain Quinn's apparently raging hormones as they got ready. And just when they had gotten to the front door Quinn was trying to get them to stay home again._

''_Baby…we committed to dinner at your parents house.''_

''_Well let's un-commit, they won't mind. We'll go for breakfast instead. Please baby…''_

_Again with the neck thing – god that drove Rachel crazy. She had to be firm though she had to be strong. She sighed before rolling her tongue along her lips slowly._

''_Quinn…''_

''_We'll be so busy in LA – with the talk shows and the interviews and the awards and the filming and everything else. Let's just take tonight for us.''_

_Wow – a compelling argument. When she said it in that way Rachel had to agree that LA wasn't exactly going to be a holiday. They had jobs to do and it was pretty much a business trip in its essence. So the temptation to hide in the apartment the whole night and stay naked and fool around was wonderful. If not for the plans that she had already made that were now irreversible._

_So gently Rachel pushed her girlfriend a few inches away from her._

''_I know, baby – but we don't have time in the morning. Let's just go and have a good time, okay? They're already expecting us and it's a little late to cancel. I promise you that when we get home I will sex you up good and proper and I promise we will find time in LA for just us. Okay?''_

_Quinn sighed that 'I give' sigh but her features were soft and she nodded in agreement. What the hell – she was dressed already right? So she kissed Rachel once more than then let herself get lead out and into Rachel's parking garage to climb into one of her beloved cars – the yellow mustang – and head on over to her parents' house. It wasn't that she didn't want to go she very much did but she also wanted some decent time with the brunette which in their line of work could sometimes be hard to come by._

_Still they were going to be together most of the time in LA. They had their hotel suit and they were doing all that pre-award crap together. They were on some party list or another for after the show and Quinn was pretty sure they were doing an interview or two together courtesy of Santana saying that they needed to do some couple things. She guessed it was going to be fun. And the filming they had to do was a lot of one on one time for their characters. _

_So by the time that they got to her parents house she was chirpy and excited and glad that Rachel had dragged her out. 30 minutes late wasn't so bad._

''_Why is it so dark? Do you think they went out? Oh my god! What if Mami went into labour?''_

_Rachel bit her lip lightly as Quinn gasped in panic at the assumption that Emma had gone into labour as they stepped into the darkened house that Quinn seemed to have completely missed that the door was unlocked. _

_She didn't get to answer before the lights were flicked on._

''Surprise_!''_

_There was a loud chorus of cheers followed by a wave of party poppers exploding and noisemakers and lots of laughter and cheering. Quinn's mouth practically dropped to the floor as she blinked in complete shock. Right there in front of her were the group of people she had once hated and then come to view as family. The people who had been there for her when she needed them and evidently had conspired to drop what they were doing in their lives to group together here in New York to give her a send off to LA tomorrow. There were streamers and decorations and they were wearing shiny party hats and there was a huge banner that said 'good luck Quinn' across it._

''_Oh my god! What the…oh my god!''_

''_We can't go to Los Angels with you but we wanted to do something to wish you luck so here we are.''_

_Artie explained with that cheeky big assed smile that was so endearing and adorable. Artie was a little more of a snappy dresser these days but he was still a total nerd. He had managed to go rather well for himself and had set up a small computer and AV business in Ohio that contracted out to all kinds of locations. It wasn't an empire but it wasn't exactly shabby either. _

''_Not that you need luck 'cos you're so gunna win!''_

_Tina added excitedly. Everyone nodded rather enthusiastically._

''_Yeah Quinn, we believe in you.''_

_Quinn looked across the room at Finn who had a polite and even shy smile on his face. She thought that he would be upset or something that she was dating Rachel now but he just looked sort of resigned – like maybe he had been but had gotten over himself or something. Given that he was married and all then that really should have been what he did because he and Rachel had not been together for a long time now but she guessed your first love was always the hardest to let go of. Still he was here and he was giving her his support so she wasn't going to belittle that or worry too much about what he thought about her and Rachel._

''_Plus, we wanted to see _this_…''_

_Kurt wiggled his finger between the two of them and their firmly tangled hands because Quinn hadn't let go of her girlfriend's hand yet._

''…_for ourselves.''_

''_You're gunna win!''_

_Quinn laughed as Kieran ran at her and she swooped him up quickly. She glanced at Rachel then at her parents and then at everyone else still in complete shock. The whole Glee club was here._

''_I…I don't know what to say…really…I guess its kinda fitting 'cos you guys – you guys saved me and I wouldn't have gotten here without you. So thank you – again – for being here for me.''_

_There was a huge cheer and within an instant Quinn got bombarded and engulfed by her friends. Music was turned on by somewhere and she had a feeling Santana shoved a beer in her hand while she was being crushed in a Mercedes hug after Kieran had left her for greener pastures called the buffet table._

''_Hey.''_

_Rachel turned around and smiled at her ex boyfriend as he tentatively approached her as she wondered into the kitchen to get a drink._

''_Hey.''_

''_It's uh – good to see you.''_

_Rachel hadn't seen Finn since the last group get together at Quinn's apartment – the very same time that they had gotten together. So needless to say she had spent less of her attention to him and a lot on a certain blonde – Rachel couldn't even remember most of the conversations she had with anyone but Quinn that day._

_Finn still had that boyish and awkward way about him as he rubbed his hands on his jeans a little and shuffled his feet as he shot her a dopey-eyed look._

'_It's good to see you too, Finn. You look good.''_

''_You do too.''_

''_Thanks.''_

_They stood there awkwardly for a moment before Rachel cleared her throat and swept some hair aside._

''_How're Sadie and the kids?''_

''_Oh they're good! I have a picture if you want?''_

_Rachel nodded and he hurried to pull out his wallet and opened it up before handing it over. She took it and smirked at the scene. _

''_They look a lot like her.''_

''_I know, that's best right!''_

_The brunette chuckled as she rolled her eyes and handed Finn back his wallet. _

''_I'm happy for you – you got what you always wanted.''_

_It had been exactly what he had wanted. For so long in school Finn had thought that he wanted something similar to Rachel. In the end it turned out that he had wanted something completely different. He wanted to be the small town man – he wanted to have a simple life. Going to New York had apparently shown him that he didn't like the world so much outside of Lima. People were difficult to figure out and at least he knew where he stood in Lima. He didn't have the same gusto that Rachel had – being out in the world hadn't done for him what it had done for her._

_He wanted a steady job and a life without risk or drama and he wanted a family. He thought maybe Rachel would get it out of her system through going to college but it had only given her a higher platform on which to shine and stand out on. She had hit Broadway with a bang and really he shouldn't have been surprised – he always knew that she had been amazing, it was just there were so many amazing people that never got the opportunity to show it. Rachel had and it had been too much for him. She had been too much for him._

_So he had watched from afar as she had excelled and stepped away from him. Deep down he knew it had been the right thing for her to do. She had advanced and she had been with people that stood a better chance of handling her – of understanding her and being what she needed. She had dated and as she got more notoriety her chosen partner at the time and she would be featured and he would hear about it from the papers and the TV. _

_He didn't know how she and Quinn had come to be – in all honesty he wasn't sure he wanted to know. Finn wasn't all that sure he would understand it either. Rachel and Quinn had always been creatures unto themselves – they had very rarely been understood. What everyone did know however was their devotion to one another. It had started so long ago and he had never truly gotten their relationship but he supposed it wasn't his place to either. _

_He nodded and looked at her intently as he put his wallet back in his back pocket. She had the feeling that it would come out more than once tonight._

''_So did you.''_

_Rachel sighed shakily as she ran her tongue along her lips and let her eyes linger on his sneakers for a moment. _

''_Finn…''_

''_Are you happy?''_

_The sudden question and interruption – which was a good interruption seeing as Rachel had had no idea what she had been going to say – made her look up quickly as she tried to work out his disposition. Still she nodded affirmatively with a conviction and truth behind her eyes._

''_Yes, I'm happy.''_

''_Can you just answer one question? Did you love me? You know – back then? Or were you always just in love with her?''_

_That was fair she guessed. He deserved an answer because if she had been in the same position she would have asked too. It was an odd situation to be in – knowing that you had been so secretly in love with someone that even you hadn't known for so many years. Quinn had said it kind of perfectly in their interview – they were waiting to both realise they were in love and to actually do the falling in love part. It had been there and it hadn't in so many varying shades and degrees and ways that it was impossible to pick apart._

_The one thing she did know was that it didn't mean they had never had genuine feelings for anyone else._

''_I loved you, Finn. I loved you a lot. Nothing will change that. We just weren't made for one another – it took me too long to realise that and I'm sorry if I hurt you. But it would've hurt more if we had pretended.''_

_God she had been ridiculously in love with the boy that she had known in high school. She had thought Finn was everything she ever wanted or needed at one point – despite the glaringly obvious differences between them. In hindsight she should have known they would never work or translate outside of that high school love phase. It was still love but they had been so young and naïve and idealistic. _

_He wasn't enough. He fell short in so many areas that Rachel couldn't even contemplate pretending anymore by the point that she had dumped him. Their relationship had weakened and filtered out with the distance and the realisation that they were living in two different worlds and when you just had sex to avoid actually talking then that was pretty much the final nail in the coffin. If they had gone any further with it it would have hurt so much more._

''_Yeah, I get it. I just – part of me still kinda wishes that we were made for each other. But I love my wife and kids and you love Quinn. You've always been together – she needed you more than I did. I'm glad you're both happy.''_

_Rachel leant forward and wrapped her arms around him – as best she could anyways – and gave him a squeeze. Somehow she knew that all the unresolved stuff that had always floated between them was now resolved. Maybe there would always be something just a little unresolved because Rachel could still tell that a little part of Finn still wished certain things because he had never gotten over his first love – but it didn't negate his feelings for his family now. _

_It was just the way it was and Rachel was just relieved that something had finally clicked into place and that there wouldn't be any particular awkwardness or even any ill will. _

''_That means a lot to me, thank you.''_

_She pulled back and shifted over to the cooler to grab a couple of beers one of which he handed to Finn. Maybe they could actually be friends like they used to be now because after college they had been friends but there had always been that wall between them and she had missed his goofy ways and stupid remarks._

''_And maybe after you guys have gone to LA and have a few days to spare you can come back to Ohio and visit us.''_

''_I'd love that.''_

_They toasted by a clink of their respective beer bottles. _

XXX

''How many more of these do we have?''

Rachel whined as she shifted in the directors styled chair that was placed in the middle of the set that constituted as the FBI bullpen of the characters they were working in they had so many interviews lined up that it was making her head spin.

Benson was on the other side of the set and there were other characters dotted about and also Arthur the shows creator was being interviewed with some writers too. They were mixing and matching – Rachel had been sitting with Quinn for almost 20 minutes who had previously been with Benson. The next time they moved Rachel would be with him and Quinn would be with Arthur. It was like a freaking dance.

''You don't normally get shifty during interviews, what's up?''

Quinn took a long swig from a water bottle before passing it to her girlfriend who exhaled slowly as she took the bottle. Quinn fiddled with her phone – reading over texts, emails and generally just seeing what was happening. She had updated her Twitter and all that social network addictive stuff already and she was kind of getting hungry. It occurred to Quinn that she probably should stop eating like a frat boy but she figured she did enough exercise to compensate.

To Rachel and everyone else Quinn was being the height of casual and laid back about the whole awards thing. She wasn't doing or acting any kind of different which really was totally her style. Though to Rachel it was a tad infuriating because she expected some kind of reaction however little. But nevertheless that was the woman she loved and she'd rather have this than some obnoxious 'the world loves me' girlfriend.

''My ass keeps going numb, most of the questions are exactly the same and I think I'm sort of addicting to filming…I'm beginning to worry about myself!''

Quinn laughed out loud at the confession and Rachel's pout.

''Well I'd consider that a good thing since you're becoming a TV actress soon to have her own show.''

''No, ensemble show…''

''In which you have a lead role. Stop feeling like you're cheating on Broadway baby, it gets it.''

Rachel took a long drink of water and contemplated for the minute or so it took for the next entertainment interviewer to be shuffled toward them and directed to the chair facing them. There was a woman and a scruffy looking camera guy who set up easily. The woman introduced herself with a polite smile and a shake of her hand and explained that the angle her bosses were going with was for the classic '10 things people don't know about…'.

However considering the current 'Faberry fever' unlike Benson who would do it for himself they were asked to do it for each other. At least it was a change in the interview format.

''Do you want to go first?''

Quinn wondered politely as she looked at Rachel who shook her head and made a 'after you' gesture with her hand. Quinn looked back and smiled thoughtfully.

''10 things that you don't know about Rachel Berry…hmm…''

''Be nice!''

Rachel warned teasingly making Quinn roll her eyes.

''I'm always nice! Okay, let's see…oh okay! Rachel has always been a sleep talker and a sleep shuffler. She once gave a friend of ours a black eye back in school at a sleepover because apparently she was running away from a giant tadpole!''

Rachel was never going to live that down. Kurt had been the unfortunate victim and had woken everyone up with a loud squeal as he covered his eye and made a commotion. They had all realised that Rachel was asleep and muttering insane things about said giant tadpole and was squeaking in dismay herself. Santana had been doubled over in fits of laughter and her phone had barely been wrestled out of her hand to take video with.

''Umm…I'm not actually sure if a lot of people know this but she's named after Rachel Green from Friends.

The girl is _obsessed _with coffee – unsupervised she will drink her weight in caffeine then ping off of every wall around! But she makes really great coffee.

Uh – Rachel will set fire to your kitchen – she cannot be trusted with cooking our college apartment can attest to that!

She's obsessed with skee ball – seriously, she's _so _good at it.

Rachel is…terrified of spiders. Insanely terrified of spiders – just the thought of one being anywhere near her sends her into this like – total freak out and she'll jump on anything nearby and just wait to be rescued no matter how long it takes!

Umm – Rachel is actually very humble. She finds it difficult to take a compliment.

Oh! The 'Monica dance' from Friends? Uh the one where she always dances in that big suit for flashbacks? Rachel just randomly starts doing it! Do it now!''

Rachel rolls her eyes in mock exasperation and slips out of the chair and promptly does the 'Monica dance' which earns laughter from Quinn and hoots and catcalls from Benson across the set. He was grinning like a little kid and Rachel just stuck her tongue out at him as she slid back into her seat.

''See, it's very funny. How many is that?''

The blonde looked at her girlfriend who she just knew would have been keeping better track than she was.

''8.''

''Okay. Rachel has secret tattoos that I would be shot for if I revealed!

And last but not least…umm… Rachel really loves to drive. She has a couple of classic cars that are her babies! She had a particular thing for mustangs.

And that's 10 things about Rachel!''

Quinn rocked from side to side in a half assed 'happy dance' complete with floppy jazz hands. Rachel laughed as she ran a hand through her hair before taking a quick sip from the water bottle.

''My turn! Okay – Quinn is claustrophobic. Small spaces totally freak her out so when you see her in the tiny little box interrogating bad guys – she's totally going insane.

She's a natural blonde.

Quinn is a _huge _NFL fan. Huge. Her, her Dad and Benson are like – crazy glued to the TV during game time.

She's a freaking scrabble genius. Seriously – don't ever try to play Quinn Fabray because you will lose.

Unlike me Quinn is a very good cook, she's very natural and likes to cook for other people.

Hmm…let's see…she's a big reader. She can go through a book in days.

Quinn loves photography – she owns at least, what – 13 cameras? Yeah, around 13. She takes really great pictures.

Hmm…three more – let's see…she's allergic to coconut. It's very bad – there's blotching and swelling…just bad.

Quinn _loves _a night sky. She will take up residence on the roof quite happily and stare up at the stars all night. In fact I'm pretty sure she'd love a home with glass ceilings just for that reason.

And one more – Quinn is a bit of a science and science fiction geek! The science part is how she wins scrabble all the time, which is unfair, but I guess she aced it for a reason. So those are 10 things you know about Quinn Fabray that you didn't before!''

X*x*x*X

Rehearsing with Rachel helped take the edge off of her thoughts like exercise tended to do. There was something about martial arts that had always seemed to quell the storm inside and getting to do it with Rachel was always fun. They had trained together so it was easy to do it for the show since it was part of their norm. It was actually a very hard and gritty fight due to their characters' feelings of hate and what was happening throughout the storyline so they just threw everything into it. They were even using batons at one point so it was a good way to take the edge off for sure.

When the work was all finally done and the two of them had rolled into their hotel after being discovered by a hardcore group of fans near the studio the actresses were led up to their suit which was _very_ nice. As soon as they had set eyes on it they had read each others' mind – hot tub!

So that's how they had ended up sitting in gorgeous heated and bubbly water letting it knead out knots and relax each and every muscle they had as music drifted out of Quinn's docking station as they sipped some wine that had been there waiting for them. Yeah so maybe this trip definitely had some serious perks to it.

''Okay – so you're going to have to find another date to the prom, 'cos I'm _not_ getting out of this water!''

Rachel joked in that 'oh my god I'm in ecstasy' tone as her head was flopped back onto the tubs self and her eyes were closed and she looked all kinds of comfortable. She was so tired and the water was really good after training – her shoulders were stretched out along the shelf with her left hand fondling the neck of the wine glass gently. She was in complete bliss right now. It was definitely just what you wanted after a flight, countless interviews and then a good workout. Especially when you got to share it with the woman you loved.

Quinn was sat directly opposite her looking just as content. Her eyes had drifted closed too and only her head was above the surface of the water right now but as Rachel spoke the blonde cracked an eye open as she smirked wryly.

''You're a little late for prom, babe! But I agree…I think we should get a hot tub, like – right now!''

''I'll call Santana and tell her to make it happen.''

Quinn chuckled as her other eye finally opened and she looked across at Rachel. It was definitely impossible not to appreciate the sight before her – Rachel was positively glowing. Really – she seriously wanted a hot tub at home now it seemed like the best idea in the world.

They both fell into comfortable silence again as the bubbles did their work. Quinn was sure she had almost fallen asleep until Rachel nudged her with her foot and she breathed in quickly and looked across at her properly through squinty eyes.

''Huh?''

''I asked what you were thinking about. Also I didn't want you to you know, drown in here.''

''I was thinking about Puck.''

Rachel blinked across at her and waited like there was more to come. When there wasn't her eyes narrowed.

''You're thinking about Noah? In the hot tub? Naked? Right across from your naked girlfriend in the hot tub?''

Quinn snickered and rolled her eyes as she nudged Rachel back.

''Not like _that_, obviously. I've just…been thinking about things and they have to include him, you know? I talked to him a little at the party and I dunno – there's just a lot of stuff going on in my head lately.''

Rachel nodded as she frowned a little in thought as she listened to Quinn's words and thought about the man in question. He had been a disaster back in school when everything had come out. He had turned himself inside out with guilt for adding to Quinn's pain and thinking that he had maybe made her feel like she had to do something like what she had always felt.

Rachel remembered his face when he had turned up at the apartment one night – and Quinn had told her what happened between them when they had talked.

''_Quinn? A-are you awake?''_

_Rachel tapped on the door tentatively as she peered around Quinn's bedroom door. The blonde had gone for a nap a couple of hours ago leaving Rachel and Finn in Mr. Shuester's living room while their teacher went to an interview for his petition to take over guardianship with Miss. Pillsbury. _

_Groggily Quinn lifted her head off of the pillow and squinted at her friend._

''_Noah is here to see you, honey – is that okay?''_

_The blonde sat up and nodded as she ran a hand through her hair before running it over her face to try and wake up. A moment after Rachel disappeared from the door Puck emerged in it. He had his hands in his jeans and he was fidgety and his head was hung and he just hovered there. Quinn thought maybe Rachel murmured something to him because he looked to the side and nodded before glancing at her for a moment before looking down again._

''_You can come in Puck, its okay.''_

_He shuffled in a couple of steps and pushed the door almost closed – not all the way because Rachel said not to close the door. _

''_I uh...didn't mean to wake you up – I can come back another time if you want?''_

''_No it's cool. Are you okay, you look sort of – un-Puck like.''_

_He shrugged and his head hung again and for a long couple of moments nothing happened. But after a minute Quinn realised that Puck was shaking. Squinting she leant forward a little._

''_Puck...are – are you crying?''_

_A sniffle followed her question and immediately she took to her feet and shuffled over to Puck who was indeed crying. Without even thinking about it she wrapped her arms around him – pulling his down to cradle in her shoulder as one hand rubbed his back and ran the other through his Mohawk. He didn't move for a second but eventually he loosened his arms to gently hold her._

''_M'sorry...m'so sorry.''_

_Was all Quinn could hear emerging from her shoulder. She managed to move them to sit on the edge of the bed and not knowing what else to do she just sort of cradled Puck until he started to calm down a little bit. They hadn't talked much since the bomb had hit – he had leant her his support and all as everyone had but they hadn't really been alone and so far he was the only real person besides Rachel that she had touched so much. _

_Eventually he lifted his head and rubbed his face as he cleared his throat to try and 'man' himself up a little bit._

''_You're not like – gunna tell everyone I cried like a big pansy are you?''_

_He asked sheepishly. Quinn couldn't help but smile and scoff a little before shaking her head._

''_No.''_

_He nodded in appreciation and fiddled with his own hands._

''_I feel so bad, Quinn. If I'd've known – if...I would've...we wouldn't...I...''_

_Quinn put her hand on his upper arm gently._

''_Puck – Noah, its okay.''_

''_No it's not! 'Cos now I'm not just kind of a jerk that blew his chance 'cos I let my little dude make stupid decisions – and I'm not just the idiot that got you pregnant. Now I'm another guy in your life that took advantage and made you feel like you weren't worth anything when you are – you're worth everything. I don't wanna be that guy I just wanted – I don't know what I wanted but I never wanted this for you. I never wanted to pile onto your pain and I did. I'm such an asshole.''_

_He was so mad. He was mad at himself and he was mad at that man that she'd had to go home to everyday. If he had just known he would've helped her – he would've punched his lights out. Instead he'd added onto her problems because he'd done his thinking with his dick and never bothered to wear a condom._

''_No you're not. You didn't know – I made sure no one knew. We both made a mistake okay but it doesn't mean you're an asshole. You tried to be there for me and you're here for me now.''_

_Puck just shook his head and watered up again and dropped his head onto her shoulder._

''_Please forgive me...please...''_

_Quinn just held him again and kept whispering that she forgave him. _

Rachel didn't think he had been quite the same after that. Still the typical Noah Puckerman but changed somehow she had never been able to quite describe it. But she did agree with Quinn and she had reinforced that belief when the blonde had told her what happened the next day.

Quinn cared a lot for Puck – she cared what he felt and what happened to him and how he was doing now. When they saw one another they had a clear bond that was special and separate from everyone else of course it was they had made a life together. Rachel had never interfered with that and she had never felt jealous over it as it was a platonic love but part of her wondered if he would be the kind of man that a different Quinn would end up with. She'd have to overlook like – a thousand things because he was him after all but still he had a good heart.

Anyways, the brunette knew her girlfriend. She could see in her eyes the length of those thoughts.

''You're planning something.''

Quinn smirked and shrugged lightly.

''Maybe.''

_The party was in full swing. Quinn had properly spoken to everyone and had a great time catching up and laughing about things. She missed being a collective group a lot where they could see one another everyday like they had back in school._

_Quinn was actually glad that Rachel had managed to convince her to come out – though she still intended to have the brunette fulfil her promise. But it was nice to be amongst family and it was fun. There was lots of talking and laughing and dancing._

''_You having fun?''_

_Quinn smirked as Rachel came up to loop an arm around her neck but in her other hand was holding two bottles. The blonde took in a deep breath as she nodded as her hands found their way onto the smaller woman's hips. She leant forward and kissed her softly – gradually coaxing her into a deeper kiss. _

''_Again - hot baby mama and my American Jewish princess – smokin'!''_

_Puck had not changed. He was still the fickle and sex crazed boy he had always been and was hiding his heart underneath that until he had to use it. He winked lecherously at the two with his perverted smile that made Rachel scoff and roll her eyes with a shake of her head and Quinn so smack him upside the head before she pulled him into a hug. _

_He wrapped his arms around her in a big bear hug and she squeaked when he picked her up and spun her around – Rachel just chuckled as she walked off to check on what Sam was talking to Emma about. _

''_I'm so proud of you.''_

_Puck whispered genuinely as he set Quinn back down onto her feet. He gave her a squeeze and let her go but she took his hand and led him outside into the cool air of the evening. _

''_S'up Q – I'm not sure if you know but you're kinda taken and I think Rachel would squeeze my balls off so...''_

_He cringed as he received yet another smack though this time it was across his stomach._

''_I needed to talk to you, genius. About – about the baby.''_

_Puck's face suddenly dropped serious and slightly solemn as he tucked his hands into his jeans pocket and hunched over slightly as he toed the ground with his shoe. Quinn sighed slowly and stepped forward to tuck her fingers under his chin to get him to look up at her. He looked as guilty as he had always looked when this subject came up. Quinn had tried to convince him that he hadn't done anything wrong – that they were just teenagers and he had no idea what was going on with her when they had slept together. _

_He had never forgiven himself no matter what anyone had said. The thing about Puck was that he came off all badass and idiotic and uncaring but he had a heart of gold. Sure he got sent to juvenile detention and did some absolutely dumb stuff but still – he was a good guy beneath it all. He had genuinely liked Quinn and he had been jealous of Finn for being with her. So when she had showed a little interest in him he had been so full of himself. He always came in second best to Hudson so when the HBIC herself flirted with him a little he hadn't thought about anything else than getting her into bed._

_She had been a little insecure that day – nervous even. If he had looked in her eyes hard enough then he may have noticed the sadness there and the destruction that had been wreaked inside of her. But he didn't because all he could think about was doing her. It pained him to think that he had been another guy that did something she didn't truly want. Even if Quinn said that it was her choice and despite being somewhat tipsy she had consented._

_He just never forgave himself._

''_Hey, c'mon – don't. Whatever the circumstances at the end of the day we made a pretty awesome little girl, right?''_

_Puck chuckled lightly and nodded still with his head ducked as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He opened it up and held it up to reveal the latest picture that Shelby had sent. He looked forward to the yearly updates no matter how brief they were and he had kept every picture just like he knew Quinn had. Shelby always sent the letters to his Mother's place back in Lima probably because it was really the only address that had ever remained permanent for him that Shelby knew given he moved around a lot. _

_Quinn took the wallet and flipped through the pictures with a teary smile before she handed it back. _

''_I think about her everyday.''_

''_Me too.''_

_Puck tucked his wallet back into his pants and cleared his throat._

''_Do you uh – do you think Shelby would ever let us…I mean I guess she doesn't have to send us these but do you think…''_

''_I don't know, Puck.''_

''_Does Rachel know anything about where she is?''_

_Quinn just shook her head faintly. _

''_No, she's never really heard much from her. I guess it wouldn't be that hard to track her down, but she looks so happy in those pictures…I don't want to ruin that, you know?''_

_She was scared – terrified really – of seeing the daughter that she had given up. But she was just as terrified not to. But what could she tell Beth? Meeting her she would have to tell her who she was and why she had let her go. The girl would think that she didn't care or love or want her but giving her up had been the hardest thing she had ever done. If she ever met Beth then she would have to explain to her what was going on in her life then – and she was a kid she didn't deserve to know that monsters really did exist. She deserved her childhood – one that Quinn had never had. If she met her she would only be taking that away from her, right?_

_But she wondered – she thought about her everyday. _

''_I uh, I wasn't going to talk to you about this for a while – I guess until I'd figured everything out, but you're here so…I don't know exactly how or when it'll happen but I'm not keeping Beth a secret anymore. With everything happening in my career and with Rachel it won't stay like that anyway – and personally, I need to get out from under it Puck. Coming clean about her – about everything – is the only way I know how to do that. I just didn't want it to happen without you knowing about it first. Obviously I'm not going to tell anyone you're Beth's Father or anything but I just didn't want to spring it on you.''_

_Puck just looped his arm around the blonde and pulled her into him. She looped her arms around him again and just sighed softly as she listened to his heart beat underneath his chest. He was warm and he smelt nice and he was incredibly strong but incredibly gentle. He was like Benson in that way – although her co-star was a little more robust they were both big well built guys. Guys that once upon a time she would have been a little weary off because of their size and her experience but they were good guys. Puck had always been a good guy he had just been a little wayward sometimes. Quinn couldn't really judge him for his indiscretions when she had made many herself. _

''_Q – I don't care if anyone knows it was me or not, I get it. Do what you need to do and I'll back you up.''_

_She nodded into his chest but remained silent just kind of content in the contact. It was strange because when she was younger she hated physical contact. It was a bad thing – something to be afraid of especially with men. She had either flinched away from it or she had just endured it for the sake of appearances. Then she had used it as a self-destructive tool – one that had Rachel and Santana and her Dad all kinds of worried._

_Now? It was a good thing. The contact was good and she craved it and sought it out and she valued it. A simple hug or a touch of an arm or the caress through hair – the amount of pictures she'd had taken of her when she was wrapped around someone or holding their hand was probably uncountable. It was safe to her these days and the negative had turned into a positive. _

_Eventually she had learnt that she could be in control and that she could take her life back for herself. Physical intimacy – whether it was sexual and intimate or the lightest and simple gesture shared between friends – was hers to accept or deny and enjoy and feel. _

_Of course when you had a best friend and then girlfriend that was Rachel Berry you didn't stand much of a chance of getting away with not liking contact. Brittney was also touchy feely – Santana wasn't but what she did share with her was substantial given her own usual reluctance for it._

_So that's why she ended up stood outside of her surprise party just hugging Puck silently for almost a half hour until sounds of cheering from inside drew them back in._

''Whatever it is you're thinking about doing Quinn, I'll be right by your side.''

Quinn smiled across at her girlfriend and nodded.

''I know. I asked you not to let go of my hand Rachel, and you never have.''

XXX

Quinn was calm. Rachel was not. Quinn was the definition of composed and relaxed – Rachel was the definition of a nervous/excited mental patient.

''Sit still, baby.''

The blonde slid her hand onto Rachel's knee as it continued to bounce at an inhuman pace. It wasn't as though Rachel had never attended an award ceremony before because she had been to plenty. She hadn't even been this kind of nervous when _she _was a nominee so Quinn had no idea what had gotten into her girlfriend.

Maybe it was because she had refused to get worked up over the nomination so Rachel had done it for her in some kind of sympathetic symbiosis thing – which was…well it was just very weird and Quinn wasn't sure what to say about that one. But it was kind of sweet in a way.

Maybe it was because they had always attended award ceremonies together before as just friends and joked about being dateless so they went together. This really was the first thing on this level that they were attending as a couple and the closest thing to it had been that diversity ball back in New York. There was still lots of speculation going on about them and they were still being stalked by paparazzi and had requests up to their eyeballs for interviews and photo shoots and anything else that people could think of. Quinn thought that they really should have had better things to report on than the details of their relationship but this was the entertainment business so technically it was one of the biggest stories right now.

Arthur had been inundated with feedback. Some people complained to the network anyway at putting a lesbian as lead female on a prime time show but it was like this whole thing had poked those people with a stick to remind them that she was a heathen and they hated her. Not that Arthur gave a crap and thankfully the network saw it as a good thing for them right now because they were getting more good attention than bad.

Anyway Rachel was officially insane and she herself was just enjoying the ride through LA from their hotel to the ceremony. As soon as Rachel had cracked open an eye this morning she had been one massive ball of hyper energy. As soon as Quinn had tried to roll over and hide under the covers from Rachel's insistent prodding and demanding she wake up she had been one massive 'yes dear' girl and had just gone along with things.

She had been showered and moisturised and sized up and fitted with her dress and her hair had been done and her make up had been done and she felt like a human doll. Still, it was kind of exciting and she did like the dress it was very pretty and it was nice to glam up every now and then. Rachel looked fucking gorgeous and elegant and Quinn was pretty sure she'd spend the whole night gawking at her than paying attention but that was okay with her.

''I can't believe your so calm. How are you so calm, Quinn?''

The brunette demanded in an almost affronted huff like it offended her that Quinn was being all laid back and relaxed. There was a tangled mess of nerves inside her stomach and all she had to do was go to this thing, pose a little bit, hold Quinn's hand and have a nice time watching things play out. That was it – that was her job today. To be the supportive girlfriend. A role she was _very _comfortable with. She had even turned down to sing so she could do that. Her – _Rachel Berry_ – passing up an opportunity to make sound in front of people.

''I don't need to be nervous, Rach.''

''Why not?''

Quinn turned her head to look at her properly and meet inquisitive and nervous big brown eyes.

''Because I have you to hold onto.''

Those big nervous brown eyes widened impossibly further as they turned from nerves to mush at the softly spoken line.

''Aww! That's so sweet, Quinn – stop it, you'll make me cry and ruin my make up!''

The blonde snickered and rolled her eyes as Rachel gave her an affectionate nudge as she looked down and Quinn knew that the comment hadn't been rebuffed or as easily dismissed at it had sounded. Rachel never dismissed much of anything she was just being humble.

Tomorrow was one of their only days off in Los Angeles. After that they were doing some filming and they were booked in for various talk shows and appearances before they went back to New York. The days before this had been busy too but there had been a little something that Quinn hadn't expected whatsoever.

There was a mass of people just – _everywhere_. You couldn't look in any direction without setting eyes on somebody and you could barely hear yourself above the noise of screaming fans and talking voices that all blended into one. To be honest it was really disorientating.

Quinn had stepped out of the limo expecting something very different to this, she didn't know why. The air seemed to move with the sound and excitement and it was over whelming. She had never gotten used to the tidal wave that came with appearances like this. She had held out her hand for Rachel and the brunette had eased out of the limo too and squeezed her hand tightly. The girl was still a bundle of nerves but to everyone that wasn't Quinn she was the picture of calm.

Quinn thought Rachel looked beautiful. Her hair was like a silky mane framing her face and it made her look adorable and beautiful and the essence of sexy all at the same time. She had chosen a silver dress and the thing looked like it was moulded to her and again, it looked so effortless. Considering all the vile things that Rachel had worn back in school the transformation was always kind of striking. Not that Rachel hadn't looked beautiful back then because she had, nothing could really tone down her beauty, but some of those combinations had just been so wrong.

Still, what the hell right? She had been seemingly happy enough in what she wore and that's what mattered at the end of the day. At least she had been comfortable enough to be herself unlike most teenagers, Quinn included of course.

She was thankful that Rachel was here with her. Of course they had been to things together before, she had seen Rachel earn awards and she had picked up some herself but this was the biggest award she had been nominated for so far in her career and Quinn couldn't be happier that she was getting to share it with Rachel in this context. In the context that she got to walk up this carpet thing holding Rachel's hand because she was her girlfriend. It was the best feeling.

There were a lot of calls and shouts aimed at them and there were dutifully standing for lots of pictures and answering questions when they got snagged in the chaos. It was a lot to take in.

''Are you gunna take a turn on the glam cam?''

One interviewer wondered after a couple of questions to which Quinn just smiled pleasantly.

''Maybe.''

Rachel squeezed and tugged on her hand to get her attention.

''Maybe? Why maybe?''

''I don't want to stand on a moving circle of death, okay? I'll fall off it!''

Rachel laughed at Quinn's absolutely crazy sense of logic but she guessed if anyone could fall off of that thing it would probably be Quinn. How she had been a cheerleader and an actress that did plenty of stunts almost everyday astounded her because sometimes she could be the clumsiest woman on the earth.

There was more of the same hustle and bustle activity as the two crept along the carpet closer to getting inside. But just as Rachel got snapped by some savvy entertainment reporter Quinn was hauled up some freaking giant steps to go and speak to Ryan Seacrest. Did they not know how god damn hard it was to walk around in heels and dresses like these? Were those steps really necessary?

''Congratulations on your nomination Quinn.''

He beamed with that far too pleasant smile.

''Thank you.''

''It's your first Emmy nomination – you gotta be feeling pretty excited right now?''

She nodded with a chuckle as her eyes widened for a moment and watched the mass of people just below. Okay so the stairs provided a pretty cool view.

''This is all very exciting, yeah. Everything is so chaotic though, but it's fun. It's great to see everyone, too.'

Ryan nodded along with everything she was rambling off as she either kept looking at him or looked at the crowd with a gesture toward them like she had ADHD and couldn't concentrate. Maybe she did have – maybe that's why she was always bouncing around so much. Or maybe it was because she was **far** too many cartoons containing Pooh Bear and Tigger and all their friends when she couldn't sleep.

Could you get infected with bouncy Tigger germs through the TV? Maybe.

''So how're you feeling about your chances tonight?''

''Who me? Oh, no way man! Benson though, Benson will kick butt with the rest of the guys. I think I saw him around somewhere in a tux, I need a picture of **that**!''

''He doesn't dress up too often, huh?''

''No! The man barely puts a shirt on, the ladies would love being on our set!''

Quinn had no idea why she was stood up on this mountain waffling about shirtless men and tuxedo's. She was positive that it was because Rachel was like – a million miles away without her hand anywhere near to hold onto. She needed to get the hell down from here and back to her girl.

''I bet! You're looking positively stunning, what're you wearing?''

Besides a dress? Really? Was that all anyone ever cared about. She told him about her dress and smiled and nodded and actually behaved and didn't make him struggle to ask her questions. Maybe it was the altitude of first getting up on this thing that made her go a little bit crazy for a minute there. But she never knew what to say to Ryan Seacreast at the best of times.

''So, while I have you here I have to mention the sensation that is 'Faberry Fever'. Rachel is looking positively radiant. This is a good time for you right now. How is it working together?''

''It's really great, Rachel's super professional and talented, and she's got a lot to offer from being on stage for so long, so yeah it's great working with her again.''

''I bet she's rooting for you tonight.''

''Yes, I think she is she's very nervous. She's been bossing Benson and I around all week to get us ready for tonight – we probably wouldn't have been otherwise. We're so lazy!''

Ryan laughed because he could probably easily imagine that particular scenario. He had interviewed her and Benson together before and they were like two little kids. Trying to get them to sit still and behave and talk seriously was like trying to gain world peace.

''Well I'll let you get back down there and I wish you all the best for tonight.''

''Thank you.''

Things moved so quickly from there. She had thankfully found Rachel again and moved through the herd some more before Benson had managed to find them. They smiled and posed and chatted and did all of that stuff before they went inside to find their seats and before anyone knew it the ceremony began.

It was a little disorientating actually. Quinn had a moment of haze where Benson had looped an arm around her to stop her from wobbling over but made it seem normal. It was just a moment of feeling so out of sync – this was the life that she had now when she had come from a very different place. Sometimes it just sneaked up and bit her on the ass. But once she'd had a little water and they had gotten sat down she had felt better. And the show was really great so that had distracted her too.

When it came to her category she had been so into watching that she had almost forgotten! Rachel nudged her and held her hand in excitement as the names of the nominees were read out.

''And the winner is…''

Of course there was pause for dramatic affect – couldn't possibly do without the dramatic affect now could we?

''Quinn Fabray.''

Quinn didn't actually respond more that she waited for this woman to get up and make her way on stage. It didn't even occur to her that she was being a little dense and that that was _her_ name. Even as everyone clapped and the theme music from her show started and the lady announcer rambled off weird facts about her it didn't actually hit home.

It took Rachel grabbing her by the shoulders to get her to focus and listen to what she was saying – which was 'you won'. Rachel hugged her and so did Benson and Arthur leaned across to give her a kiss and a little numbly Quinn began to make her way up onto the stage.

The thing was – she had never gotten around to thinking about what she should say if she did win. So she had no clue what to do! She could practically see her parents and brother and Santana and everyone jumping around for her, which made her feel warm and helped her come back to reality a little more – it felt like it was their win too because she literally wouldn't have been here without them. Or definitely at least, she wouldn't be the person she was without their support.

She was congratulated and handed the award on the stage and she swallowed the lump that had lodged into her throat as she stood at the podium looking out onto the sea of people. She still didn't know what to say – so she just started talking.

''I uh...wow; I don't know what to say. Literally. To the women that I was nominated with I'd like to say thank you for being so inspiring and truly amazing, you all made me want to do what I do so this is more of a tribute to you than me.

I of course want to extend my thanks to Arthur for giving me the opportunity that you did, for trusting in me to bring your creation to life. Benson – thank you for constantly making me raise my game. And thank you to every single person that works with me every day wherever we may be – you make our show what it is.

I think I owe my friends a huge thank you for getting me here – for believing in me. I love you guys so much. I couldn't have made my way here without you.

Rachel, you're not only the love of my life but you saved it too and you're my inspiration and my strength.

This is a great honour and I tribute it to my parents. Papa, Mami, without you I simply wouldn't be here. I'm proud to be your daughter and I love you. You too little brother.

Thank you.''


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N - So half strategy half prompt here. Thanks again all who read and I hope to have a more or less steady stream to the endgame. As always tips/suggestions/prompts/anything are appreciated. Especially fluff prompts because with angsty stuff coming there will need to be some healthy amount of fluff (and smut!) to compensate!**

XXX

''_I don't want to in there. Please Daddy, I'll be good.''_

_She hurt enough and it was hard to breathe enough without being shoved into the closet at the end of the hall. It was so closed in and she could never breathe and she was so scared. He didn't stop marching her toward it though with his huge hand holding the material of her shirt between her shoulders. It was actually scarier when he didn't speak than when he'd say things to her – even horrible things. Things that Dad's shouldn't say to little girls. Things he never said to her sister._

_It had to have been her fault. She'd done something wrong and if she could only figure out what then she could fix it. She could fix herself and be good like her sister and this wouldn't happen. He wouldn't hate her and he wouldn't hurt her. _

''_Please – please I'm sorry I can't breathe in there. I'm sorry!''_

_He just shoved her in roughly and the door slammed closed before she even realised that the carpet beneath her hands and knees burnt. The closet was small just a little storage closet and it had no windows. It was tall but slim and the air was thick. The door was like every other in this house – chunky and solid so it didn't let any good air or light in. _

_So she was trapped. Trapped in this tiny suffocating cage. And no matter how hard she cried – no matter when she threw up in the corner – no matter how hard she pounded on the door – no one ever came. _

There was no air. Her skin was sweaty and cold and clammy she gasped and wheezed because her throat felt restricted and she clutched at it helplessly as she forced herself to sit up. For a moment all she did was panic and she felt sick and dizzy and hot. There were thick covers smothering her and she couldn't move. She was trapped again and the darkness had set in. Was she still in that closet?

There was a painful pressure in her head and she didn't know what was going on but she knew enough to be frightened when something moved next to her. Things moved in the closet sometimes she didn't think she was alone in there in the darkness.

''Quinn…it's okay. It's okay baby I'm here.''

Quinn blinked through painful tears that stung her eyes as a light went on and the movement beside her was revealed. Rachel sat up properly after leaning over to the lamp on the nightstand to shed some light into the hotel room. Quinn was tearful and shaking and looking downright fucking terrified and disorientated.

Unfortunately Rachel had learnt the specific looks in Quinn's eyes when she had nightmares. Most of the time she could even tell what she was dreaming about if she started making enough noise in her sleep. This look was the closet look. This look was why she was claustrophobic and why every now and then they had to sleep with the light on.

She had been learning these things since they were 16 years old. It was a travesty.

The brunette took the clammy face between her hands and made Quinn face her directly so that she could establish some eye contact to start to bring her back to the here and now. Eye contact helped – it helped her focus and remember that she wasn't trapped back there.

''Look at me, okay? Just look at me and listen to me – you're okay. It was a dream and you're here in bed with me. It's just you and me, Quinn. Just breathe for me, okay?''

Rachel kept hold of Quinn's face and tipped her head so they were forehead to forehead and their breath mingled together. Quinn's hands were clutching her and slowly but surely everything started to slow down. Quinn's breathing started to slow and she was obviously putting effort into that and her grip didn't exactly loosen but it had a different feel to it. Her body didn't shake quite as much.

''I love you. S'just a dream. I got you.''

Quinn nodded against her head and Rachel moved to place a long kiss on her forehead. She hated this. She _hated_ this. She hated that the woman she loved had to live with this in her head. She hated that previous to that her best friend had to live with this in her head. She hated that previous to that her weird sort of nemesis at school had to live through this. And she hated that anyone else in the world had to live and deal with this too. She fucking hated it and it drove her fucking nuts.

Rachel turned and leant back to grab the glass of water on the nightstand because another thing she had learnt was to keep a glass of water there for the times like this. It helped. She leant Quinn back enough to hand her the glass.

''Here.''

She helped Quinn take it and watched carefully – lovingly – as she drank it shakily while she reached up to gently brush back strands of dampened blonde hair. To her there was no one stronger in the world.

''Better?''

Quinn nodded and looked properly at Rachel now with still slightly hazy eyes but eyes that were focused enough and knowing enough.

''Yeah. Sorry.''

''No apologies. Do you want some painkillers?''

Quinn nodded because she thought her head was going to explode. Rachel nodded too and clambered out from the overly thick hotel covers and plodded her way to the bathroom and back – climbing across the bed and handing Quinn the pills. She had just enough water left to take them.

The brunette fluffed up her pillows and leant back on them so she was half lying and half sitting and guided Quinn down to hunker in beside her and cuddle in. She wrapped her arms around her and kissed her head gently.

''Time is it?''

''Just after 4.''

Quinn murmured and went silent for a moment. She enjoyed Rachel fingers running through her hair in that soothing way she did. She could hear her heartbeat rhythmically beating away under her chest and that was soothing too. She smelt good and she was warm and loving and comfortable.

''What if I close my eyes and I wake up there?''

''You won't. I won't let you. You're staying here with me.''

''Okay.''

Rachel kissed Quinn's head again.

''How about you close your eyes, and I sing you to sleep and stay awake for a little while to make sure you're dreaming nice dreams about me?''

Quinn actually chuckled a little at that and Rachel smiled as the blonde nodded in agreement. So that's what she did.

XXX

The buzz in the studio was always a good one and today was no different. The hostess made her entrance to the usual excited fanfare and Quinn smiled as she watched the monitor – briefly forgetting that actually she was right there and not watching it on TV at home. Or as she did a lot of scanned You Tube to find funny moments and cry with howling laughter over them.

Being on The Ellen Show was one of those things in her current life that seemed insanely surreal. Because she had been a kid watching her on TV and repeating Finding Nemo quotes and being proud that someone so awesome was 'one of her people'. Now she was right here awaiting her own entrance.

''We have a great guest today fresh off of her Emmy award _win_ for best dramatic actress, she's been on the show a few times and she's a joy because well – I do lots of horrible things to her and it's fun!

She's now terrified of me and she can't even get away from me in New York – here's a reminder of when I went to visit the set of A-City for a behind the scenes with actress Quinn Fabray.''

Quinn laughed and nodded to herself in agreement because she _had_ been one of Ellen's victims more than once before. She fell for her antics every time. A video clip rolled of Ellen approaching her familiar trailer and gleefully pointing at the sticker on the door with her name on it. Ellen then squatted down toward the side of the door and waited for a moment. The door opened and Quinn watched herself go from not paying much attention because she was just opening her door to step out of the trailer and go on set when Ellen jumped up with a roar.

So of course she screamed and fell ungracefully a la Taylor swift style – straight onto her ass in a heap in the trailer doorway moving out of terrified to absolutely hysterical as a string of beeps covered up her colourful language. Good times! She was sure that shaved 5 years off of her life.

''So funny! This was also after I got there. Here's what I found when I first went onto the set.''

Ellen indicated a new clip where she is walking along set quietly talking and explaining she's arrived early but got the go ahead to go on set. She's talking about the business and hard working feeling before she stumbles on both Quinn and Benson fast asleep. They're in a hammock that they apparently but up and Quinn is sort of tucked into him and all snuggled up and of course he's shirtless as Benson tends to be when he can!

''Hard working people! Please welcome the lovely Quinn Fabray.''

Quinn carefully made her way around the corner with a smile still chuckling in amusement before she gestured in exasperation because the picture has been left on screen. She laughs though and gives a wave before being greeted in a hug by Ellen.

''Hi!''

''Oh my god – why do you do these things to me? Look at that! You're so horrible to me!''

She gestured at the screen with a light blush. So typical that she managed to catch them like that. That hammock had been awesome though she thought they needed to find it again. It had lasted a week on set before someone 'hid' it or something but it was super comfy so maybe it was time for a scavenger hunt to bring it back. Maybe this time she could coax Rachel into it.

''But it's so much fun. Don't worry, I'll take it off there's more pictures to come.''

''Oh god!''

''You were so flat out I even had time to draw on your faces!''

The picture switched to one of them asleep in the same position but Ellen had scrawled all over their faces which earned laughter from everyone else as Quinn sat herself down with an 'I'm going to kill you' look. She had to hit someone up for that though because she didn't have it and it was funny.

''In my defence, I'd just like to point out we hadn't left work for like – _ever_, and that hammock was the best thing ever and Benson is super comfortable – you have no idea.''

''Do you sleep on him a lot?''

Quinn laughed and tucked some hair aside as she nodded and went a little red again because that sounded _so_ weird but she did. A lot.

''You know actually I do! I jump all over him and he just throws me over his shoulder or spins me around, I feel compelled to touch him all the time. Well who wouldn't, right?''

She gestured at the picture and glanced to the audience and nodded with agreement when there were appreciative hoots and hollers. Then she leaned toward them with her hand at the side of her mouth in that way people did when they were telling you a secret.

''Photoshop ain't touched that!''

There were whistles and Quinn laughed again before paying attention to a chuckling Ellen as she sat at attention. Quinn always felt strange on chat shows – even the ones she liked the best. It was the surrealism again.

And today was even worse given the way she had woken up. It was a delicate line to balance up her two worlds. One so dark and cruel and one so bright and shiny. The young woman that people here or people that would watch wouldn't see the nightmares or the demons in her head. They'd see the cheerful actress that was probably sweet and polite maybe – not the terrified, torn and tattered girl that probably would be dead by now without serious intervention.

Certainly not the girl that had woken up in a cold sweat with her senses going haywire. They all had an assumption about how her life had gone. No one saw past the glossy veneer into the darker depths and she had never let them either. No one saw past to her mentioning parents or friends or a brother – no one tended to bring up her dating habits and when they had it had been called 'serial dating' – as though she were looking for the right person.

They saw what she let them see. They saw what she wanted them to see.

''How important is it to have that relationship on your set?''

''It's essential. The hours and the location shoots and the material we use – it's absolutely essential as a whole, you know the cast and crew alike and we all have that. We're a little family. But yeah, Benson and I are like the _naughty_ kids – we wind each other up and have this little sort've…bromance I guess, he's wonderful I adore the man. He's a perfect gentleman and he motivates me, he's very genuine and despite walking around half naked most of the time when he can he's very humble, he just likes to be comfortable!''

''It's a good job your not distracted by him!''

Quinn's mouth dropped open as she laughed along with the knowing chorus of laughter from everyone else and leant forward slightly as she looked at her hostess' cheeky grin.

''I know right? Although even I can appreciate _that_, the man is a god! I guess if I was so inclined he may be my type of gentleman. That might get me in some trouble…''

She pretended to ponder for a moment but then shrugged with a dismissive grunt.

''Quinn, congratulations on your win last night – it was well deserved.''

''Thank you so much.''

''It's very sweet that you're blushing!''

This is where she tried to hide behind her hair because her cheeks were burning. It was even worse that Ellen joyfully pointed it out.

''I haven't quite processed it in my head yet. It's sort of a surreal experience; I don't actually remember most of it. There was lots of dancing after though, that was fun.''

That was true. She still didn't quite remember everything from the ceremony. She _sort of_ remembered Rachel telling her but not really – it was like a hazy dream or something. She remembered lots of smudges and echoes but she did remember clapping for Benson and Arthur. She remembered taking some after ceremony pictures and then going to an after-party where she spent most of the evening dancing. Lots of dancing with Rachel.

And that she remembered because she remembered the heat of her and the way her body fit close to hers and she remembered smiling into kisses and just being relaxed. Maybe it was all the tension that had come flowing out and just took the opportunity to let lose.

She had spoken to her family and friends and her phone had been bombarded with messages from them and her social networking accounts had blown up slightly too.

''You're face was _so_ shocked!''

''I know! I mean I haven't actually _seen_ what happened, but I know that I didn't move and Rachel was all _snap out of it! You won!_ It was a little mind-boggling.''

''Well it was funny to see and I laughed at ya! Not _with_ you, _at_ you!''

''Oh thanks a lot!''

''You're welcome. No, I really think it was deserved.''

''Aww thank you.''

''You're speech was lovely, I thought. There was a lot of recognition of others there.''

Not for novelty. Maybe some people would think it was for novelty but she guessed soon enough they might figure out that her words were meaningful and true. She had a lot of thanks to dish out to a lot of people and this was just the beginning.

''Well you know, there's not just me. No way would I be here getting to do something that I love to do without all those other people. Especially the show itself. Those guys work _super_ hard, they're still going after I'm done so it does say a lot about them. You can't have a good actor without having a great production first.''

''Do you know their reaction yet or is it something you have to find out when you get back to New York?''

Quinn giggled and rolled her eyes.

''No I have lots of kind messages, but my first job in New York will be to fetch the cake and to try and figure out what they've done to my trailer. They like to keep my grounded so it'll probably be full of shaving cream or goo or something!''

''Well the whole show did well, Benson included. Which doesn't surprise me, it's a fantastic show. Totally addictive.'

Quinn tried to agree as she nodded while sipping some water quickly.

''It's great fun.''

''Do you know in advance what's going to happen or is it a surprise for you too?''

''It's a little of both, to be honest. There are _some_ things that I know. Super doper secrets I can't tell you, but for the most part I'm ripping through my script every week sat on the edge of my seat and _gasping_ at what's to come!''

To emphasis her point Quinn exampled the maniacal look she got as she pretended to rip through what was presumably a script. Because it was like that because she was a high-class nerd.

''Any juicy spoilers you can share? Anything between this little triangle going on?''

''Oh with uh…with Benson, Rachel and I? _Not_ really…I can't remember how much of that has been screened. But I can tell you – it's _good_. You will flip your lids if you're a fan of the show – expect the unexpected…and then some!''

She bounced on her seat a little and smiled evilly. She liked to torture fans with innuendo it was fun.

''Okay well that's just mean! Tell us now!''

''Okay – we all quit and move to Miami and become surfers. That's the secret!''

''See now you're just making stuff up.''

''Yes!''

She shot her hostess a 'sweet' and 'innocent' smile like butter wouldn't melt. She usually got out of trouble with that grin and big puppy dog eyes – it definitely worked a lot on Rachel – but Ellen laughed and shook her head in resistance as she pointed at her accusingly.

''You're digging a hole for yourself here because I have a bone to pick with you.''

Quinn cringed and drew back her head.

''Oh god…what did I do?''

Immediately she looked around for someone sneaking up on her or anything weird like vats of water or goo or anything suspicious. The coast seemed clear though and she turned back to Ellen once more. You had to be on high alert on this show!

''I had a guest on my show a few months ago, and here's what she had to say – take a look.''

Quinn looked up at the screen and laughed right away when a clip from the show that Rachel was on when she was in Los Angeles recording her album and nodded knowing what was going to happen.

''_So direct question, _are_ you and Quinn Fabray dating?''_

_Rachel laughed and flicked some hair aside with her hand as her tongue rolled across her lips before she drew in a breath._

''_We're best friends, we have been for a very long time and we love each other very much. All this speculation is _so_ crazy, it's like…well we have other friends that are girls, why us? But hey, we laugh about it a lot. There might have been the odd time that we may have played up when we've seen a sneaky photographer tailing us when we're getting coffee or something.''_

Ellen glared pointedly as the clip ended and Quinn was just flat out whole heartedly laughing because she just found it funny. The way Ellen was 'offended' and 'annoyed' and also the way Rachel had just spewed a bunch of bullshit to avoid a real direct answer. It had seemed so easy and she had been so composed when really they had been 3 months in then. That had been the trip where she'd gotten lost and cried and right then – right during that filming – Rachel had been missing her.

''I have a bone to pick with you. She so lied to me!''

The affronted hostess grumbled as she pointed at the screen and tried _not_ to laugh. Quinn ran a hand through her hair and nodded still trying to control her chuckles.

''Well she played you, yes. Rachel thinks if she says enough words the answer will get lost in them!''

''Well she was right! And you know, that face and smile…you can't help but trust her and then BAM! Lies! Because you _were_!''

''Yes, uhm…yes, by then yeah it had been 3 months…I think? Yes. And we're very sorry!''

Insert charming smile right there.

''Sorry for lying or sorry for dating?''

Quinn scoffed and flicked a hand.

''Well _not_ dating 'cos that's kinda nice!''

''_Was_ there something going on before?''

''No. The whole way through school, living together at college, and everything – right up until the day 3 months before that clip – nothing. Not a thing. Just best friends.''

''What changed?''

The two word question that _everyone_ had been asking since their announcement. No matter what without fail every interview alone or together had had the words 'what changed' in them. And usually she had Rachel to look at for a second with that confused and interested look because she would sure have loved to know too.

It was something she had thought long and hard over but eventually you couldn't keep following your tail around in circles.

''Honestly? No idea! There was a dinner and festivities being had at my apartment with our friends from our high school glee club – we get together every month or so if not more – but yeah, Rachel was there and talking to a friend of ours and there was a look and that was it really.''

''A look?''

''Is that normal? It's cheesy, I know. I dunno, is it normal to look at someone and think 'huh, there it is – right there'?''

She pointed into the air as though the pinpointed answer was there. _Was_ that normal? Did it matter? Not so much.

''When it's at your best friend? Maybe!''

Quinn laughed and shrugged gently as she sipped her water again. It was hot in this studio.

''Probably wasn't all that normal actually! Not sure what it was, but that's the key moment, it was the look and then yeah, the dating started.''

''Is it hard to date someone you know _so_ well? How does that happen for when you like, go out and sit there thinking 'well what can I say that she doesn't already know'?''

Quinn smiled. She smiled at the feeling and she smiled at knowing she was going back to a hotel room that had Rachel in it and they would be going back to New York to their life shortly and smiled at remembering their first handfuls of dates.

She thought it was going to be hard to conjure up something to talk about with Rachel on a date because if there was one person in the world that knew her inside out it was Rachel. The girl that had seen her bruised and torn and crying and in all kinds of pain. She's seen her shit drunk and through all the shit she had gone through. So then she had seen her become stronger and live her life and do what she liked to do – she'd seen her laugh and have good times. So what possibly could she do or say that the brunette didn't know?

How could it be different than sharing with a friend? How could it be different from sitting across a restaurant table with a friend drinking wine and talking over food?

It really was different. And special.

''You know I thought that too but it was easy. There was this whole new side to delve into and it was interesting, and for us it was just exciting and cool. It was fun getting to see new things.''

''You should see the smirk on your face!''

''Shut up!''

God she was blushing again.

''Well I think you make a very adorable couple and you can warn Rachel that next time she's on the show there will be revenge taken! We're going to a break right now but we will be back in a few moments with some fun and games! Quinn Fabray everybody.''

XXX

''Tell me you love me.''

''I do – I love you.''

Quinn kissed her again – hotly and deeply and the perfect measurement between slow and fast. All lips and tongue and teeth with heated and jagged breath mixing and hitching together. It was a heady sensation to be kissed like that – like you were the most revered most beautiful and important person in the world.

The hot tub bubbled around them because after tonight there wouldn't be that much of an opportunity to indulge. Tomorrow was the last day of LA filming and then they were off back to New York in short order the next morning. So they were taking the opportunity.

She was suspended in pleasure. Just cocooned in heat and bliss and possessiveness and glory. Her body was on fire – a willing victim to the onslaught of euphoria. Her left hand cupped the side of Quinn's head holding her firmly but gently as their mouths danced together in time with their bodies. Because her other hand was in what was possibly the most divine place of all – fingers buried in hot velvet depths. Depths she never got tired of this.

She never got tired of feeling Quinn and she never got tired of Quinn feeling her. She was in her too – so deep and so powerful and so glorious. The blonde was sat on the little ledge/seat thing in the tub and Rachel had just floated on over and straddled her. It's not like sex wasn't a regular thing because really – _that_ would've been a lie – but the brunette knew that her girlfriend needed her like this right now.

After the dreams and the whirlwind of activity and the chaos and being out on the streets just trying to be an ordinary couple and having fun – now was _their_ time. Now was for them to connect and make time stop.

And this was one of Rachel's most favourite things in the world. The feeling that there was no past or any future – or any time to worry about that was all over shadowed by staring deep into Quinn and having her do the same as bodies connected and synchronised together.

What's more she knew that Quinn needed this because she could see in her eyes what she was going to do. She could see in her eyes that when they got back to New York she was going to disclose to the world what she had been through. She could see how terrified that made her feel and how vulnerable but she could also see how much she needed it to survive and how she thought it might even help if she spoke out.

It was her mission in life to make Quinn happy. It had been her promise and her vow and what she had endeavoured to do in one single solitary and solemn second. She'd do anything and she was going to help her do this. And she was going to help her live and stop time so she could breathe and forget.

This was how they were supposed to be. Entwined in every way – making each other happy and content.

''Rachel…''

Quinn sighed/moaned against her mouth and Rachel nodded as she swallowed and curled her fingers in blonde hair a little tighter.

''I know. Don't be afraid I'll take care of you. I'll always take care of you. I love you.''

''I love you too…oh god…''

Just like that she fell over the edge and feeling that was the only thing left Rachel needed to do the same and within an instant all of that took over. The pleasure and the satisfaction and the gratification that spread through them both like lava from an exploding volcano. That's what it felt like every single time – like a hot, active volcano bubbling and intensifying until it erupted.

Long moments were just spent in that feeling until Quinn very lightly chuckled against her girlfriend's mouth.

''That uh…that was kind've intense!''

''I know, right!''

The blonde smiled at the amused reply and kissed Rachel leisurely.

''Thank you for taking care of me.''

Rachel looked at her and swept her hand through her hair in gentle caresses and Quinn felt like she was being stared straight into. The brunette shook her head minutely.

''No, thank you for letting me.''

XXX

''Oh my god! Oh my god! Toss me a gun – toss me a gun!''

Rachel shrieked at the cold water currently running down the nape of her neck where she had been unceremoniously shot – it ran underneath her FBI attire and down her spine causing her to wiggle oddly as she tried to adjust to the cold of the liquid.

It had been Quinn that had run up and shot her before running off again she knew that much and someone tossed her a huge water rifle. She pumped it and spun around eagerly running off into the lot to get her own back and show everyone who was boss. Benson was out there too along with a few other cast and crew. It had been some intense filming today so apparently this was how they were blowing off some steam.

''Get back here Fabray!''

Rachel was on a mission. She took out anyone that dared to try to get her too of course howling with laughter all the while as she tried to pinpoint her girlfriend. Quinn was still decked out in her suit with the FBI vest strapped to her and her sunglasses on – so looking pretty kick ass right now. And she had an advantage because she was using all that stupid training that was ingrained in her now and using cover spots and tactical manoeuvres.

In the next 10 minutes Rachel ended up soaked – being spun around by and thrown over Benson's shoulder – and laid flat out on her back on the ground overcome with laughter. The chaos continued around her until there was a shriek from Benson and he dramatically flopped to the floor. Then Quinn's head popped into view – just upside down.

''I shot Benson for you.''

She informed with a cocky grin.

''Traitor!''

The giant of a man objected in a rather shocking high pitched kind of squeak – to say he was so big he could get his deep voice to go pretty high. He panted on the ground not far from Rachel and Quinn just shrugged with a grunt that clearly said 'I don't care' in it.

''Thanks baby – but too little too late.''

Rachel lifted her gun and got Quinn right in the face making her scream in surprise and double over with laughter as Rachel laughed triumphantly.

''Wohoo!''

''I now like her best. Let's replace Q with Rachel!''

Benson yelled loudly still huffing and puffing on the floor. Quinn scoffed in exasperation – turning and emptied the rest of her gun at him.

''Suck it!''

She tossed her rifle onto his stomach and he groaned running a hand through his now soaking wet beard and sighing heavily. He knew when he was beat and he was definitely beat – that's usually what he got for back talking Quinn though. They had run practical jokes on each other from the get go and he had to admit he was impressed/scared by her inventiveness when setting him up.

At least they were done. Tomorrow they would be returning to New York and things would go back to normal not that anything was remotely normal about working here. It had been a whirlwind with all the goings on – the awards and the filming and the public appearances and interviews and Q&A sessions. It had been worth it though and the show had done well at the awards and Benson too had won his nomination. Anyways after all of the effort and commotion it was nice to just let go and end it with pure silliness and fun.

Just as he hiked his knees up to set his feet flat on the floor Quinn pushed the gun off of him and he groaned loudly as he plonked herself down on him, legs on either side of his sides and her back leaning against his legs.

''Seriously though – how much do you weight?''

Quinn bounced on him for revenge on that and there was not one groan but two because Rachel made a set out of him too and leant against Quinn.

''This isn't fair! I'm being attacked by lesbians!''

Rachel smacked him.

''I'm bisexual, thank you very much. We're missing something. Where's Jonah?''

It was only a moment later that the boy in question came running out to jump on the 'Daddy boat' too and there was absolutely nothing Benson could do. He moaned as everyone laughed at his current predicament. Not that most men would really mind being sat on by the two women that sat on him they would actually enjoy it but he didn't see them as crudely as that.

He saw them as two people that equalled themselves out. Like somehow they were kind of like two sides of a coin – for one to exist the other had to as well. Even as enemies it sounded as though they had been drawn to one another – fed off one another – in a weird way taken care of and readied one another. Even in animosity a bond had grown so strong that one girl had relied on another with absolutely no reason to compel her to. Because they just were.

But it wasn't just a case of Rachel being there for Quinn, or just that she took away most of her pain and made life bearable and made life life again. Quinn did the same for Rachel. She took away _her_ pain and gave her strength – strength she needed to cope with the life she had chosen because deep down Rachel Berry had always been a sensitive soul that her business would have gutted and tainted.

Quinn gave Rachel the ability to still believe in romantic endings and fairytales and the frilly shiny things in life. Quinn gave Rachel the ability to remain who she was – to be that girl that dreamt a thousand dreams and took endless amounts of crap for it.

So it was a balancing act. That's what he saw when he saw them together. It's what he saw before the inevitability of their romance.

Rarely in this world did anyone get a story like that and rarely did anyone get to say they were made for each other.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N - I have to be honest and say I'm not sure why I'm bothering to post this if FF net is only going to take it down because let's face it, it has sex, violence and a song in it! For those that haven't heard FF net is stripping all stories that have those kinds of content in them - which will pretty much end up being half the site, right? **

**If you're as opposed to this as me you'll go to Change (dot) org and look up FF net and click on the petition that is at the top, saying stop the destruction of FF net. There are thousands of people on here and even more stories that would be at stake - maybe yours and mines favourite you never know. **

**So I think I'm going to try and wrap this story up in light of this so it may have a chance of actually staying up for a while as a complete story to those who have been following along. I wouldn't like to leaves the few of yous hanging!**

**Thanks - and just a warning - there's some of that explicit sexual content coming at ya right nows! I trust as adults you'll make the decision to read or not read it as you'd like ;)**

XXX

It was late when the plane touched down in New York. Neither Quinn or Rachel had slept on the journey back they had just cuddled up together in the quietness of the space they had been in and silently – comfortably – enjoyed the ride back, looking forward to finding themselves home again. As great as the hotel with all its hot tub glory there was never anywhere quiet like home. It didn't matter which apartment they actually rolled into, but they had agreed it would be Rachel's.

Santana had arranged a car to pick them up upon their return so the only thing they really had to do was get through the airport. It was quiet so far as they made their way through security, holding hands unless they absolutely had to let go. It was Rachel that took the lead and Quinn just happily followed her guidance.

''The car is just over 20 minutes out, baby. There's been some kind of accident it's stuck behind.''

Rachel informed as Quinn grabbed luggage off of the baggage claim. They only had one pull along each, anything else followed behind them. Rachel put her phone back into her pocket after reading the message from the car service and took hold of the handle of her rolling bag with one hand and reached up to tuck an unruly strand of blonde hair into place with the other, her thumb tracing the skin of Quinn's face as she did with a soft smile.

''Let's just hop a cab.''

Rachel shook her head at the suggestion as they moved away to find somewhere relatively quiet to wait.

''Do you remember the last time Santana organised a car and you hopped a cab instead? She almost ate you whole!''

Quinn giggled rather triumphantly about that because she still took a great deal of satisfaction for messing with the Latina's plans. Only the little plans – which for some reason made Santana intensely furious. Sure she could have a fling with some model but god – hopping a cab instead of waiting for a car that took Santana like, 10 minutes to organise? It was a big no.

''Quinn Fabray – messing up Santana Lopez's world since forever.''

Rachel snickered and rolled her eyes before reaching up to bring their lips together in a confident and connective kiss that boasted love and adoration. Quinn of course instantly loved the feeling of Rachel's lips on her own they were warm and soft and Rachel always tasted so unique. And as the brunette sought entrance to her mouth Quinn gladly granted it happily.

And of course they lost all sense of time and space standing there in a deep lip lock in which tongues duelled and explored and many minutes easily slipped by. Within those minutes their bodies had pressed into one another tightly as hands held hips or cupped the sides of faces and necks. Not obnoxiously outrageous or provocative just a stolen moment between a couple that loved one another and hadn't seen the crowd of people edging in – lots of paparazzi that were eager to snap shots and such, but also just bystanders and fans that had poured out at the late hour.

Neither wanted to stop their impromptu kissing session but it became more apparent that they were not alone, and given the hunger that was beginning to seep in it wasn't a bad idea to stop so they reluctantly and slowly pulled apart both a little out of breath.

By the time they had gotten through the throng and signed autographs and taken some pictures and answered a few questions they finally made it to the car. It was a relief to get in despite the rush of excitement that came with each public encounter that had one or both of them connecting with actual fans that were interested and engaged, and some very thankful for their representation. That was a huge deal for them both and they liked hearing other peoples' stories. Still, it had been a long week and after that kiss and with the tiredness turning into hyper excitement it was definitely good to be going home.

Thankfully it wasn't too far, and in no time at all Quinn found herself pinning Rachel against the wall of the elevator that lead to the brunette's floor. Their mouths assaulted one another as a fight for dominance broke out Rachel's hands tangled into her hair and the brunette moaned into her mouth as Quinn pushed a knee between the shorter girl's legs. She liked the way that Rachel's body responded by arching into her almost desperately. It was with reluctance and sheer will power that she pried herself away as the doors slid open and something pinged to signal that this was their floor.

Rachel grabbed her hand, pulled her out of the elevator (almost forgetting their bags but remembering at the last minute) and towed her to the door. She fished her keys out from her jacket pocket and as Quinn slid up behind her with her hands roaming her midriff and her mouth attaching itself to her neck, Rachel tried to shove the piece of metal into the lock. It took her a few distracted attempts, but eventually she twisted it and the door opened wide causing them to stumble through.

The alarm began to beep and quickly Rachel tapped in the code on the panel before shutting the door and locking it again before sliding a key chain across it. Yet again the singer found herself pushed up against something as Quinn backed her up against the door. Her hands slid onto Rachel's sides as her mouth went to explore her neck again. Rachel willingly leant her head to the side to expose herself to the blonde's wondering mouth.

''God you have no idea how much I want you.''

The blonde whispered heatedly. Rachel's hand fisted in her hair as another roamed over her ass. Rachel sighed as that wonderful mouth sucked on her pulse point softly.

''I want you too.''

The hands on Rachel's hips moved upward to skim her sides and the edges of her breasts before they made it to her shoulders and ducked under the material of her jacket in order to slip it off. Rachel pushed off of the door forcing Quinn back as she let the jacket fall to the floor in a heap. Her own hands skilfully went to work at popping buttons on the blonde's shirt before pulling her out of it quickly as their mouths duelled together again.

Moans escaped into the darkened space and there were thumps and clatters as they periodically bumped into something. They laughed into each other's mouths as Rachel squeaked as she almost fell over the back of her couch. Quinn managed to pull her straight again and recapture her mouth.

By the time they finally made it into Rachel's bedroom they had left a trail of clothes behind them. They had helped one another strip out of the material obstacles and the last thing to come off just at the threshold were Rachel's jeans. Her t-shirt along with Quinn's shirt and jeans had been shrugged off somewhere in the darkness leaving her and now Rachel in their underwear.

''You are so fucking hot.''

Quinn ground out heatedly as she pushed Rachel against her bedroom door roughly. Feeling so much skin against her own set her alight and the blonde felt every nerve ending split to their rawest capacity. Quinn could honestly say that she had never been this hot for anyone in her life. She just always wanted her so much and being here with her and pressed up against all that delicious skin and breathing in her scent was sending her crazy.

The blonde bit and licked against Rachel's throat eliciting a guttural purr in response that turned her on even more. The brunette snaked her hands around Quinn's lithe body and deftly unclasped her bra. Immediately small but eager hands smoothed across her skin until they made contact with supple firm round bare breasts.

It never failed to surprise Quinn the amount of strength that Rachel possessed as she found herself pinned against the door instead with her girlfriend's mouth eagerly attaching itself to her breasts. Seriously – Rachel's mouth was just obnoxiously talented at everything it did.

The smaller girls hand palmed and squeezed her other breast skilfully and her fingers scraped, rolled and flicked her nipple in random patterns. She was in full control and Quinn was definitely happily to let her be. For now.

''You taste good, baby. I can't wait to have you on my tongue.''

Quinn groaned at the heated purr against her chest and her head hit the wood behind her as her eyes rolled back. Now that's all she could think about Rachel doing. Her hands tugged her hair in urgent need to push her downward so she could feel that tongue inside of her, but Rachel simply laughed a teasing mischievous laugh that rocked her to her core. Quinn also moaned in disapproval as the brunette stepped back from her.

Rachel rid herself of her own bra so the only thing on display now was smooth tan skin after she also eased her panties down her long legs and tossed them aside. She made a come hither gesture with her finger and Quinn moved as though she were possessed by magic.

She wrapped her arms around Rachel's body and kissed her for all she was worth again, feeling that she needed the feel of her mouth against her own to live. Her hands ran the length of her back before easing down to cup a lusciously firm round ass that she squeezed –Rachel groaned into her mouth.

Then she found herself shoved onto the bed with her very naked and hot girlfriend straddling her and she moaned as that mouth kissed and nipped its way from her neck back to her breasts. It was all Quinn could do not to lose control altogether to clutch at bed sheets and fist the soft material in her hand as the other wove into Rachel's hair once more.

A cry ripped from the back of her throat as she felt roaming fingers ease their way into her wet folds.

''Oh fuck Rachel...''

Rachel smiled against her skin at the breathy cracked and heated moan that escaped Quinn's mouth. She liked hearing her name on the other woman's lips especially in a ripped cry like that – it just never got old. The brunette moved up to take the blonde's mouth again and was met in a desperate eagerness as she let her fingers travel the length of Quinn's heat. She was so wet and ready for her that it was intoxicating. She felt like silk to her fingers as she dipped a finger deep inside of the writhing blonde whose hips arched up as Quinn broke their kiss to push her head back with a gasp. Rachel watched the pleasure dance along Quinn's concentrated features as her thumb glided over her clit and made small intricate circles around it as she added another finger into her.

''You feel so good, Quinn. So tight around my fingers.''

Rachel husked into the blonde's ear. Quinn moaned and the brunette licked up her neck before she began to kiss her way down along her flushed and writhing body. Rachel paid close attention to her navel and she also paid a lot of the attention to the tattoo that hung low underneath it so low that part of the tribal design would be obscured by the waistline of panties and sprawled out across the v of her runners figure.

Then Rachel was placing a kiss on the blonde curls she found before her tongue was replacing her thumb and stroked along the sensitive nub – Quinn muttered and moaned beneath her, hand still gripping the sheet as the other fisted brown locks. Then Rachel pulled out her fingers and replaced them with her tongue instead using her thumb to continue lavishing attention on Quinn's clit as she speared her with her tongue.

''Fuck...oh god...''

Quinn was losing her mind as surges of heat swept through her powerfully and she could barely restrain herself as she writhed and moaned intelligibly under Rachel's attention. God that mouth was magical. Quinn knew she wasn't going to last much longer and Rachel was pushing her closer and closer to that edge. Her fingers slipped into her again and her heels pushed into the mattress so hard that Rachel's remaining hand wrapped around her hip to steady her as her mouth worked over her clit once more.

The blonde felt that drag in the pit of her abdomen – that all consuming pull of the tight coil inside and soon enough it was surging in hot pulses. Quinn forced her eyes open and she glanced down at the brunette and seeing her head between her legs like that threw her over the edge. In an instant she was plunging into painfully pleasurable depths as the world blacked out and a hard orgasm ripped through her forcefully.

Rachel kept right on pumping in her fingers and working magic on her clit without relenting as she came and soon enough she was spinning into a second orgasm that she cried out at and moaned loudly into almost in a state of panic. Her body went into spasm and her muscles contracted and her throat cracked dryly but it all felt so fucking good. Cumming around Rachel's fingers and mouth felt so fucking divine and it never got old.

Satisfied Rachel relinquished possession of her prey and let Quinn relax in a sated heap atop her bed. The brunette happily and a little smugly remained there to lap up her efforts as she slid her fingers out of the murmuring blonde and cleaned them off too. She kissed the insides of her thighs the blonde curls and made her way up the lean body that was heaving desperately. Her skin was flushed and sticky and her limbs were limp.

''Oooh you're in so much trouble now…y'know – when I can move.''

Rachel chuckled at Quinn's 'threat' as she stroked through her hair and periodically placed kisses along her face.

''Move in with me.''

Quinn's eyes flicked up at the airy comment that Rachel used like she was passing a comment on the softness of the bed linen or the weather.

''_What_?''

''Move in with me – let's live together. Technically again! But you know, it'll be the same bed this time. I don't care where, here or yours or somewhere new – I just want to come home at the end of the day, and home is where you are.''

''Are you serious?''

''Yes.''

''I'd love to live with you. It was nice to get the experience of living alone and everything, but I did miss you when we moved out. I'd love to live with you again.''

Quinn smiled as she twiddled some of Rachel's long hair in her fingers immediately getting a flapping of excitement in her stomach at the concept of moving in together. They had always lived in peaceful co existence in college they had been good roommates and there had never been too much discord. So living together as a couple was even better and inevitably the only way to go in their relationship.

It seemed like a comfortable and natural step really considering that they hardly spent time and nights separately unless it was due to work. And even that would be changing up as the show came to its finale and Rachel began rehearsals very soon for her guest role on Phantom Of The Opera.

Then Rachel would be transitioning into her own show while probably always having some time on Broadway because that's where her heart was. It seemed that they were definitely in for being New York based for quite some time, which was perfectly fine with Quinn. She was orientated here too, work was here, Rachel was here and her family and friends were here. And they liked Los Angeles and travelled back and forth – and perhaps one day they'd end up there, but New York was home. As long as they could both work here they would be here – and even if they had to move, it would still be home and they would keep a home here to come back to as often as possible.

The real sucky part was when you had to go elsewhere to film – she had spent 3 months in Pennsylvania a few years ago shooting a film during a summer and there was a lot of flying around for visits – but such was life.

It was an hour later after the two had slipped into slumber – now the twilight hours of the morning – that a shrill noise broke the peace in the air. The couple were happily wrapped around one another and both sated and comfortable were sleeping comfortably until the disturbance.

And as Quinn started to be dragged out of a rather pleasant dream she started to realise it was Rachel's home phone and she was closest to it so she reached out to blindly grab it.

''Hello?''

Rachel groaned and rolled over so Quinn took the opportunity to try to focus on the voice on the other end of the line. She breathed in and ran a hand over her face before letting the breath back out.

''Santana…don't be vulgar…''

As if that would ever happen.

''_What_? No I heard you – yeah, be there soon.''

Quinn slammed the phone down and practically leapt out of bed. Rachel had woken up a little more with Quinn's raised voice and lifted a sleepy eyebrow as the blonde began to look around frantically before decided to flick on the lights – which of course was just a treat for Rachel's corneas.

''Whoa – what's happening? I think I'm blind.''

''Sorry baby, we need to get dressed and go the hospital.''

Rachel sat up immediately in panic.

''What? Why?''

''Mama's in labour.''

X – X – X – X

It seemed like forever to get to the hospital from Rachel's apartment but due to the hour in reality it didn't take long at all. Rachel had called down to the 24 concierge to get a cab there and it only seemed to go very slowly. Quinn was bouncing her knees the whole way there and this time it was Rachel that had to calm her down as opposed to just a handful of days ago it was Quinn calming her down.

When they got to the hospital they made a beeline for the maternity wing and were thankful that no one seemed to be aware that they were turning up here so it was pretty smooth sailing.

''Hi.''

''How can I help…you?''

The nurse behind the desk looked startled to say the least as she looked between Rachel and Quinn and then swallowed the lump that formed in her throat.

''My Mom is having a baby!''

Both the nurse and Rachel stared at Quinn who was currently bouncing on his feet with her hands flat on the counter and generally looking wide eyed and crazy. Rachel snapped out of it and looked at the nurse.

''Emma Shuester?''

''Oh, of course. Yes, Mr. Shuester is currently in with your Mom but there are a couple of ladies here with a little boy in the private waiting area.''

''Santana? Is Santana here? With my brother? How'd they get here so fast?''

Rachel put a hand on Quinn's hand.

''Quinn, calm down, you're turning colours.''

Quinn promptly let out a puff of air and both the brunette and the nurse smirked but didn't say anything, and the nurse came around the station and gestured them to follow along. Given the hour there weren't many people around – all the rooms seemed to be darkened and people were sleeping.

''Please just let me know if you need anything. You shouldn't have a long wait; I think they're fixing your Mom up with a room right now.''

''Thank you.''

The nurse nodded at Rachel and then stepped out and closed the door behind her. When Rachel turned around she blinked as she saw Brittney virtually climbing on Quinn to give her a giant bear hug – it actually looked like she was squeezing her to death.

Santana rolled her eyes but a smirk tugged onto her lips, and her arms were wrapped around Kieran who was fast asleep in his pyjamas on her knee.

''So what's happening? How's Emma?''

Rachel asked as she walked passed Brittney and Quinn who were muttering between themselves in their bear hug.

''She's pushing a freaking human out of her vagina, how'd you think she is hobbit?''

''Santana!''

Santana simply shrugged.

''She's fine, the hard stuff is done. Shue's already been out to say they're both okay. Of course you and Q would've known that if you weren't ignoring your cell phones because you were too busy humping like bunnies. Gross, by the way.''

Rachel promptly pinked up – Santana had obviously seen certain pictures and taken a step toward the obvious. Their phones had indeed been in clothes that had been left strewn along the apartment.

''Anyways, B and I were there anyways, baby sitting Special K here. Stayed because we'd both had a little too much to drink to drive home. So here we are. You missed all the waiting, so actually you should count yourselves lucky, my legs are numb.''

Rachel smiled and made a gesture toward Kieran as she sat down beside her friend and they shifted the sleepy boy onto her knee instead. Santana groaned as she stood up and stretched.

''Hey, Q let go of my wife – she's not your inflatable doll, maul your own girl.''

And here was the delight that was Santana without any sleep. Quinn rolled her eyes and Brittney smacked Santana on the shoulder before going to sit next to Rachel and rest her head on her shoulder sleepily – yawning slightly but smiling as Santana enveloped Quinn into a hug too.

''I'm proud of you, babe. You kicked ass.''

Santana squeezed the slightly taller woman before pulling back enough to give her a kiss and then stepped back a little and met appreciative, knowing eyes with that deep-seated friendship they shared.

Quinn wasn't deluded about how much work Santana did for her. She had made it a point in her work to kick down any and all doors that she needed to – and Quinn was positive that all of her secrets had remained that way because of Santana and her protective ways. She always came through for her no matter what – which was why the blonde knew she would be with her when she unleashed all those secrets herself.

Santana Lopez had helped her be the actress she was – she knew her inside and out which meant she knew exactly what she wanted to do and Quinn had never regretted any role she had taken during her career so far because she had been given the right choices and opportunities via Santana.

''Thank you.''

Quinn knew that Santana understood it was more than a thank you for the comment. The Latina just smiled with a nod before the door opened and gained the attention of the 4 women.

''Hey! What's happening? Is everything okay? Is Mami okay?''

Quinn demanded in that crazy tone again as she bombarded her Dad with a hug as he hovered in the hallway looking happy – like, _seriously_ happy.

Will chuckled.

''Everything is fine, Quinn. Emma had the baby.''

He beamed happily – it was a proud Daddy kind of smile.

''It was a quick labour all things considered, but everything is good. Healthy baby, healthy Emma.''

Quinn's jaw was dropped slightly and she didn't know quite what to say. There had been a little bit of time left on the pregnancy but hey, apparently the kid wanted out and if everyone was healthy then all was right in the world.

The blonde laughed and hugged him again and grunted when Rachel squealed and joined in – Brittney was now carrying a sleeping Kieran and stood next to Santana with a grin. So there they were in a clump in the middle of the doorway.

''Congratulations. _Now_ will you tell us what the baby is? Can we see it? Where's Emma? Are you prepared for this – she's early.''

Rachel rambled enthusiastically. It felt like she had been waiting forever to find out the damn sex of this baby. She hated not knowing things like that she _needed_ to know this kind of information.

''Yeah, the nursery is all set – we're more than ready. Emma is fine; the Doctor is just in there with her for a moment. We'll go in when they're done. And yes finally you'll know what the baby is, Rachel.''

She nodded with a 'damn right' grunt and rubbed up and down Quinn's back as the blonde bounced on the balls of her feet. Just like Kieran she knew her girlfriend would adore and spoil this kid rotten. If there were a best big sister award then Quinn would most likely win that too.

After a few minutes they were given the go ahead to go in (in small numbers as it was late so Santana and Brittney opted to go in after) and the two women beamed at the sight of Emma sitting in the hospital bed holding a little bundle that soft grunting sounds drifted out of. The baby was swaddled in a white and pink sheet so immediately Rachel gasped.

''It's a girl! Oh my god you had a girl!''

She whispered because that's what you did right? In all the movies and TV shows everyone hushed down around the new babies and it was exactly what they had done when Kieran was born too. She stole into the room and over to the side of the bed as Quinn rounded the other side as she leant down to give her Mother a kiss.

''Are you okay?''

''I'm fine sweetheart. We're both just fine. And we're very proud of you, Quinn. You did so well.''

Quinn shrugged as she looked between Emma and the baby with a squishy pink face that was barely peering up at her through heavy little eyes.

''You're the one that pushed a baby out of you, I just let Rachel dress me and managed not to fall over in front of anybody.''

Emma rolled her eyes and laughed with a shake of her head. It could be very difficult to get a compliment through to Quinn sometimes. There had been a big celebration in their house when Quinn had won and though they had told her how proud they were over the phone it was never the same as in person. But now the blonde was even more evasive of compliments when there was a new life looking right up at her like she just knew that it was her big sister and she was going to dote all over her.

''Do you want to hold her?''

Emma asked as she glanced between the two women, not knowing who to pass her to first. Given that Rachel nodded so hard her head almost fell off and Quinn's snorted in amusement at that, Emma lifted her Rachel's way and the brunette's face became studiously focused as she eased the baby into her own arms. When she got her steady she cradled her with one arm against her body and lifted her hand to move the cloth to see her little face properly.

''You are so beautiful. And tiny. I forgot how tiny babies are. We're all gunna take good care of you.''

The baby gurgled and Rachel smiled as she stroked a finger delicately over her face. And of course Rachel was teary because she was a big girl like that.

''What're you going to call her?''

The brunette asked as she looked back up after a couple of minutes of just being suspended in gazing at a brand new life. It was always striking to her how that worked. That something wasn't there, then it grew and grew for so long and then it was here in the world with all this potential laid out at its feet. This baby certainly was lucky being born into this family. She had no idea what was coming to her and no idea of the wider family that she was yet to meet.

Rachel began to move around the bed so she could give the baby to Quinn but didn't miss the looks that passed between Will and Emma. Immediately she began to get suspicious but she focused on passing the baby off carefully and got a little lost in watching Quinn's eyes as she smirked down at her sister.

She leant down to whisper something to her and place a kiss on her forehead but none of them heard what the words were. The babies eyes were wide and fixated on Quinn and Quinn was just as focused on her.

Sometimes Rachel wondered what things would be like if Beth was still here. Of if Shelby let some sort of contact happen rather than the yearly pictures. It was nice to have that but in a way she thought it may have been a little torturous for Quinn and for Puck.

To just get this tiny, one second snippet of her life when there was so much more that they wanted to know. Rachel knew that sometimes Quinn wished that she had made a different choice, just like she knew that Quinn tended to think she had made the right one. She was relieved that she seemed to be having a good life, and though Quinn would never ever say it to Rachel – she sort of trusted a woman that had major regrets of losing out on having one daughter would by doubly devoted to giving this one the best in life.

She wondered about kids sometimes. It seemed to her as though their relationship was only drifting in one direction – toward the engagement and marriage and what usually came next for a lot of people. When they had quiet moments or Rachel watched Quinn doing something from afar she would just find her mind drifting to that. She would think it was too early in the relationship to think it but then again they had been waiting a long time for this. It had been happening for years it's just neither of them had known it.

Fate was a funny thing. Rachel didn't actually believe in the whole concept of fate because she liked to think that everyone had some control over their lives. But she did believe in a sort of kismet – a little bit of fate and fortune, some damn good luck and coincidences. So that perhaps that kismet had put her and Quinn in the same place at the same time to let them see that they were two halves of a hole.

She didn't believe that what happened to Quinn was fate because that was just far too horrifying to even contemplate. These happenings in life flared up and they were almost uncontrollable – as though you were watching something happen in slow motion. It had upset the balance of their little kismet scenario but they had righted it back out now. They got their in the end. But the positive about all of that is how close they had become.

''We do have a name but…it's up to Quinn whether we use it or not.''

Emma said with a smirk and finally making Quinn come back to the real world after being entranced by the baby for long, long minutes.

''What? Why?''

Will stepped up by Rachel, who leant into him with an arm around his back so he put one around her shoulders and gave her a gentle squeeze.

''Well, we wanted to name her something special. Maybe after someone we both loved and respected, and would give her strength. And we don't know anyone stronger than you, Quinn. So we though maybe, you'd let us call her Lucy. Because she deserves a second chance in life, and she was perfect just the way she was.''

Quinn hadn't been Lucy for a very, _very_ long time and there were negative associations there, they knew that so they knew that it might be a big ask. They were fully prepared for her to say no, and that had thought about other names too. But they were hopeful about this one.

The blonde looked between them, then at the baby and then exhaled slowly but a little shakily. Lucy shared a lot in common with Quinn – they had both suffered through the pain. But Lucy had never really been given a fair shake. Quinn had prevailed but she thought maybe that was because of her former self somehow, there but never seen and maybe had been an unyielding source of strength because she got lost in the depths of so much complication and anguish and angst.

Maybe her Dad was right. Maybe she did deserve a second chance. Maybe she deserved to have a real life in a real family with real parents.

''I uh...I'd be…that's…I wasn't all that strong but I had strong people around me, but I'd be honoured. She'll be a wonderful Lucy.''

Quinn husked with no small amount of emotion and some tears in her eyes. Actually they _all_ had tears in their eyes but they weren't bad ones. Quinn smirked down at the baby again – baby Lucy – and sniffed a little as she watched those little eyes watching her. It was kind of weird but amazing being somebody's namesake.

''Well I think that settles it then, right honey?''

Emma stated happily as she looked at Will with a decisive nod. He smirked and nodded too as he gave Rachel a squeeze again.

''Yeah I think it does. Lucy Rachel Shuester.''

Rachel smirked happily and did the 'classic' awe, too involved in watching Quinn again to realise what he'd said.

''That's so lovely…wait – _what_?''

She looked up at him completely shocked and he laughed lightly.

''Apparently every Lucy needs a Rachel. She needs a name with heart too.''

Rachel blinked a couple of times.

''But…but I drove you crazy. I _always_ argued with you and stormed out and – and did I mention the crazy?''

''Trust me Rachel, I remember the crazy. But without it you wouldn't be who you are and who you are is all heart.''

Rachel smiled softly because her voice simply wouldn't work right now. If she opened her mouth it would just be some sort of weird noise and she would probably cry all dramatic like and end up being a puddle on the floor or something. Quinn would never let her live it down and call her an emotional sappy pansy for the rest of her life – so she just sniffed a little and smiled and tried to portray through watery eyes how much she treasured those words.

She loved her little family. They were an unusual group when she thought about it. Most high school friends drifted apart and got on with their own lives and only saw each other in passing or at reunions or just said hi on social network sites or something. And sure there were other people that that happened a little bit with from back home, but they as a main group had just remained close. Maybe it was always going to be like that – maybe it was because what happened with Quinn had dramatically altered all their lives and the way they related to one another.

Either way she was happy that they were all still close in some way. They saw one another when they could and god the texting alone was pretty much everyday and there was a hell of a lot of calls running between everybody. They all probably kept the phone companies busy.

So Baby Lucy got passed around the four of them like she was in some strange show and tell, and Santana and Brittney got to come in to meet her too, but eventually she fell asleep and left them to adore her by themselves – Kieran like his sister was flat out asleep and also got passed around on human pillows.

Eventually they were turfed out other than Will and the 4 separated, Santana and Brittney heading home while Quinn and Rachel took Kieran home with them. The blonde carried him upstairs and Rachel pulled aside the bedsheets in the spare room so Quinn could put him down gently. Rachel took off his shoes as she smirked at how adorable he was and how one day maybe it would be their kid instead of a little brother type – and then Quinn covered him up.

''Quinn?''

The soft and sleepy mumble was loud enough for Quinn to just catch but it was barely there. She perched on the side of the bed with a smile.

''Hey Special K, we're at Rachel's okay? It's very late so you should go back to sleep.''

Kieran's eyes were barely open enough to see but he looked happy with this sudden change of destination. He was with his family so he didn't really give a crap that he had been somehow transported during sleep.

''Missed you.''

''I missed you too, buddy. How's it feel to be a big brother?''

Kieran smirked softly.

''Cool! Will the baby play with me?''

Quinn just laughed gently. He probably thought that the baby was going to be boring and his Transformer's were still the most interesting things on earth or something like that. Or whatever cartoon he was into right now – he swapped and changed a lot with his cartoon affections – amateur. Quinn totally committed to her cartoons.

''You gotta remember that she's _brand new_ okay, buddy? So be nice to her and really, really gentle okay? Don't go screaming around her you'll frighten her. She'll play tons with you when she gets a bit bigger and until then – you still have me to play with, okay?''

''Kay!''

The blonde planted a kiss on a chubby cheek and squeezed him in a hug before she stood up again.

''Go back to sleep kid, we'll go see her in the morning okay? Love you.''

''M'kay – love…''

That was it – that was all she got because a second later and he was asleep and snoring a little bit and she shook her head with a roll of her eyes before she stepped out of the room and pulled the door almost closed.

When she got to Rachel's room just before she went in she flicked the hall main lights off and left the soft, little side wall lamps on so there was just a little light left over in case Kieran woke up and couldn't see – and then went inside. Rachel had already changed into some shorts and a t-shirt and had tied her head up.

''He's snoring his little head off.''

Rachel snorted her amusement and climbed her way into her bed – which considering she was so small it was rather huge. Quinn got changed too after grabbing something out of her draw and did the same. Instantly Rachel snuggled into her.

''Well, Miss. Fabray – you gotta be feeling pretty damn good right now.''

''Oh yeah, why's that?''

''Mmm, well within a week you've won an Emmy award, had a baby named after you and agreed to move in with your very delectable and talented girlfriend. That's some week!''

Quinn chuckled lightly and flicked a hand nonchalantly.

''Eh, all in a weeks work. It has been pretty cool though. Every time I think nothing more can get better it just…does.''

Rachel grunted sleepily as she yawned into Quinn's chest.

''The universe owes you. It's paying up big time.''

''It's just…nice to have family.''

''Hmm. Mmm – speaking of family, my Dad's are visiting next week. I love you.''

Interesting way to break that piece of news – casually and sleepily just slipping it into conversation before a sweet and adorable term of affection before dropping off into slumber, not that Quinn was horrified by the prospect of a visit by the Berry men. They were awesome and she loved them dearly. This actually would be the first visit with them as a couple though – what with work and them being busy it had been a little longer than usual between visits.

But hey, next week was good – it was great even. It was going to be interesting.

X-x-x-x-x-X

Rachel giggled with unadulterated delight as she ran at her Dad's as they emerged. Right now she didn't care about the observing crowd in the airport or give a damn about the paparazzi that had shadowed her here. Her Dad's were in her city and that's all she really cared about right now.

She was _so_ excited.

Hiram caught her and spun her around happily before she jumped all over Leroy too to give him equal attention. It had been a long stretch of months that they had been able to visit. Normally they managed to sort something out every couple of months or so, sometimes more. But she hadn't seen her parents since before she and Quinn started dating and that was a fair long while now.

Of course they constantly text, emailed, called and did the Skype thing but it was never quite the same.

''I'm so happy that you're here!''

Currently Rachel was in the middle of her two Dads' who were significantly taller than she so she looked even smaller than usual – but she kept beaming and looking between them happily.

''Quinn wanted to come but she couldn't.''

She added quickly as the three began to meander to nowhere in particular because they were all just following one another.

''Is she filming?''

''They did an early morning shoot yeah, but at the minute she's doing her thing at the sexual violence centre and then she has a meeting with Santana and a producer.''

Somehow – no one knew how – they ended up at the baggage claim and Rachel wondered why the hell her life seemed to revolve around the damn baggage claim lately, but just shrugged because she didn't really care.

''Oooh, new role?''

''Yeah a film role – they want her to play Grace Kelly.''

''Wow! I can see that.''

Rachel smirked – probably everybody could see that, Quinn did have that resemblance about her. Santana seemed enthusiastic and had been discussing the project and finding out about it and talking to the main people to make sure it'd be a good fit before she even took it to Quinn, but she was definitely excited about it. And from the little that Rachel knew of the concept it would be great.

''Well she can tell you how it goes later, because we're going to meet her at our favourite restaurant tonight, and we have some news for you. However, before that and after we've taken your bags home, you're daughter is taking you to lunch and you are going to tell me _ever_ piece of news you have!''

The happy men readily agreed and after they grabbed their bags they headed toward Rachel's apartment as they traded comments about the city. Then they chided Rachel that her apartment had visibly changed and now they could see Quinn all over it and she just bossed them around to be faster so they could go get something to eat.

''So, baby girl, while we have you all alone your Dad and I would like to talk to you about Quinn.''

Rachel was sat facing her Dad's over a small round table that was currently filled with their lunches. They each had a club sandwich and Rachel had a salad and they all had some water and a coffee each. Ever since she had come to this city – all throughout college – she had been coming here. And when you found a great source of food in a comfortable place in this city, you didn't forget it – even if you managed to get famous.

Anyways – the brunette held up a hand to stop them in their tracks.

''I'm fairly sure I know what you're going to say, Will said the same things. He was worried at first that we had mistaken our feelings because we've always been best friends and everything, but we haven't and he came to see that, as you will if you have any reservations.''

The older men looked at her and remained silent through her response and then looked between one another wearily.

''No honey, we don't have any reservations. If anything it's about damn time. And even from Lima we can see how it works. We wanted to ask how she is.''

The last comment had a weight to it that was far too familiar to Rachel and made something twist in her stomach. When her Dad's had come home that weekend when they had released Quinn from the hospital Rachel must have cried on one or both of them for at least an hour solid, it was kind of hazy who she got passed between now but she knew they had been there. And because she had refused to leave Quinn they had remained too – the four of them in a sad vigil in Will Shuester's apartment.

And they had had to watch her help her because she had been weary of the three men, which was even sadder but understandable. But they had been helpful and understood when Rachel stayed nights out of the house and things like that. They were great and they had been very supportive and they wouldn't be asking in _that_ way without a reason.

''Why? What's wrong?''

Leroy grimaced uncomfortably.

''It's just – there were some…whisperings. Lima is a sleepy down and it does love its secrets, but even the ugliest of secrets can make it to the surface. We just had some…concerns. There wasn't anything specific but one day – maybe soon – there could be.''

He explained softly. Rachel gazed at her forgotten about salad thoughtfully for a moment as she thought about that. Was it the first crack in the bubble that surrounded the first part of Quinn's life or was it just because a small town girl had made a big win? A girl that had been in a club of 'losers' that was proving everybody wrong? There was no way to know.

''Quinn is happier right now than I've ever seen her. She's stronger than I've ever seen her. If something is going to break, she'll handle it – but truth be told, I think she's working up to making it happen by fitting all the pieces together. She's planning something; I can see it in her eyes. There's something going on in her head and when she's ready, she'll tell me. She's not without her scars and their affects – the nightmares and such, but she's honestly in the best head space I've ever seen her in.''

Hiram smiled.

''Well that's because of you, honey.''

Rachel shook her head.

''It's _not_ because of me. Or – it's not _just_ because of me. She's different – stronger, happier, comfortable and more accepting of herself. I think some of the issues she still held over what she did after Beth have been let go. She's got a great career, she has people that she loves constantly surrounding her, she gets to be creative all the time – she helps people. And yeah, I may have helped in some way, but I think it's more to do with the fact that she realises that she'll never be defined by one thing, and someone can love her without seeing that one thing. I think she's finally figured out that she's worthy of things – and love. There are always going to be nightmares and bad times, especially next year – but she's free. She's freeing herself.''

Leroy and Hiram gazed across the little table at their impassioned daughter that spoke so vehemently because her words were full of love and pride and belief. When Rachel had been a baby they had only hoped that she would have a healthy and happy life. They resigned themselves to letting her be who she was and to support the dreams that she had. They worked hard to make an open household that Rachel could breathe in and grow in. They had tried to be there for any important time and to be attentive and loving. They wanted to make a strong daughter that could look forward and be loving as well as being open to loved.

Yet Rachel had become so much more – not of their accord but her own. They had watched their baby turn into a little girl, the little girl turn into a child and a child turn into a woman. And on the very cusp of the child turning into a woman – catastrophe had hit. Her world had been shaken to its foundations with what happened to Quinn.

But their girl – their sweet little Barbara obsessed baby girl – she hadn't faltered. Not once. From the first second she had come out swinging – she had been there and she had stayed the course and though it had been her sometimes to sit in a corner and cry or throw something against the wall in sheer anger or frustration – she had pulled through with the belief that she had in her voice right now.

Everybody had listened to her. Her voice had been strong and maybe Rachel hadn't realised her influence over Quinn – and Santana and Puck and any one of their friends, but it was strong and she had ignited and Mothered and nurtured and protected this thread of love and honour and survival through all of them. No man left behind – that might as well have been their motto. Rachel was the team leader that had tactically woven through every problem supported by a talented team who had each their own skills and strengths.

That was their daughter. This – right here – was their daughter. A tiny girl that took on the world and won. A tiny girl that had promised the enemy that her wounded soldier team member would survive and live and be happy and successful – she and the rest had carried her until she could limp, and supported her until she could walk – and walked with her until they could all run together. Somewhere, they hoped that Russell Fabray could see exactly what this woman was doing with her life, and how absent he was from it.

''Why are you looking at me like that? It's kind of freaky.''

Rachel stared back at her Dad's with a weirded out expression and they just chuckled with a smile. Hiram reached over to cup and squeeze the side of her face gently for a moment, as he should his head.

''We're just happy to see you, sweetheart. So – tell us about this adorable new baby.''

X-x-x-x-x-x-X

''I am _so_ sorry I'm late.''

Quinn apologised as she approached the table that Rachel and her Dad's were sat around and laughing about something or other. Immediately when her presence was therefore announced the two men stood up, as did Rachel to greet her.

''It's no problem sweetie.''

Leroy swooped down from his great height to kiss Quinn in greeting and wrap his arms around her. Quinn hugged him back as best she could but she was mostly just using one arm because her other was clutching a large canvass type item that she hadn't let go of yet.

''Things just unexpectedly ran behind and then I got stuck outside – somehow our dinner plans have been announced to the world.''

It was Hiram's turn to give Quinn a hug and kiss in greeting as she quickly explained her reason for being late – she was even a tiny little bit nervous sounding, like she had been rushing and apprehensive that she was indeed late because she needed to make a good impression.

''I think it's time we changed our code word.''

Rachel thought mostly to herself because her Father's were too busy fussing over her girlfriend.

''Aww, you don't have to apologise sweetie. No harm no foul. You look absolutely beautiful – as always.''

Hiram let her go and moved back from leaning awkwardly across the table.

''Thank you – you both look kind of handsome yourselves.''

Rachel rolled her eyes as both of her Dad's instantly squared out and puffed their chests proudly but then paid attention to finally getting to greet her girlfriend. She reached her arms up to loop around Quinn's shoulders to pull her in for a hug too.

''Wow, Rach – you look gorgeous. Is that the dress you got in LA?''

It was a silvery shimmery type 60's dress and Rachel did look all kinds of beautiful – and hot. Especially with her hair let down and the ends curled just slightly. Rachel really had no idea just how damn sexy she was.

''Thanks, and yeah it is. So thank you for that! How did things go? What're you holding?''

Quinn moved back slightly and lifted up the portrait of herself and Rachel that she had been given outside. Rachel gasped as she looked at it and studied the lines and soft colours. It was obviously hand drawn and initially sketched out before gentle tones of colour had been added where necessary. Their skin tones and eyes and clothes – it was all so beautiful and it stood out from the white of the background other then where slight shading had been strategically placed.

''A girl gave this to me outside, she drew it herself.''

''That's amazing. Is she still out there?''

''I don't think so, but I got her to write down her email so we could say thank you properly.''

Rachel smiled and placed a kiss on Quinn's cheek because she thought that was sweet – though her girlfriend did tend to do that kind of thing. The blonde squeezed the arm she still had around the brunette and gave the large picture to one of the staff of the restaurant who had patiently waited to take it and put it somewhere safe until they were finished.

Quinn cleared her throat lightly as she sat down and looked around the table and picked up the waiting glass of wine in front of her.

''So, what're we talking about?''

''Well, how about what happened at your meeting? Rachel tells us you may be portraying the lovely Grace Kelly?''

Leroy suggested happily as he not so subtly studied them both – how their interactions had changed and how even the air was different around them. How Quinn had been so preoccupied when she had arrived that it hadn't even crossed her mind that previously it hadn't been normal to greet Rachel with a kiss on the lips or a hug quite as intimate as that. They were just so natural together. It made them happy to see that.

As Father's of course they had to accept Rachel's choice in partner and their daughter did have a taste only specific to her – she didn't have a type exactly, she just saw it when she saw it. And they really did like Finn very much – but they had had _nothing_ in common whatsoever. But they had left well enough alone. And they had watched Rachel's relationships start and fail at the same time as they had watched Quinn force herself into very short time spans of casual relationships mostly, and wondering when they would see that they were actually just perfect for each other.

They had it all – the charisma and the trust and the things in common and the friendship and insight and passion. Finally it was with relief that they knew – they were absolutely certain – there would be no more Rachel calling in the middle of the night broken hearted. No more of that because this was sticking.

''Well…''

Quinn looked around quickly to check no one was listening even though the tables were actually very spaciously set out here unlike some places where you may as well have been eating with everyone else.

''I said yes…so I guess you're looking at the new Grace Kelly.''

Quinn had already talked to Rachel about what she knew of the project and everything and there would be some time for Quinn away from New York but all in all it was something she really wanted to do under the right circumstances – mainly being the concept of the film and with that all ironed out she had no reason to say no. It was literally a dream roll and it would undoubtedly be the biggest film roll she'd ever done – plus she was the lead so that was all kinds of awesome.

''Congratulations that is so exciting! Tell us everything you're allowed to!''

By the time they had stopped talking about the role – which inevitably lead on to the two main locations that would be switched between, Los Angeles and France – the conversation lead onto Grace Kelly herself until it came to a natural end and coincidently the end of the appetisers that they had each ordered. Of course the Berry men knew practically so much about the Princess that they could almost write a book, but that was helpful because Quinn was now a sponge when it came to any and all tid bits, opinions or knowledge about Grace Kelly that she didn't already know or didn't share the opinion of. It would all help her in the long run.

''So besides the wonderment that is each of your careers, and of course your new baby sister that we'll be meeting tomorrow, what other news could you possibly have? Except for stories of your exploits of course, even though there is _plenty_ in the magazines that we always say we won't read but then we do…because we can't help it, it's fun!''

Rachel rolled her eyes at Hiram and then glanced at Quinn with a questioning look and the blonde nodded. Currently Rachel had her elbow resting on Quinn's chair and her fingers were playing with her hair absently and Quinn's own hand was resting mid-thigh – sometimes playing with the hem of her dress. It was easy because they were sat close and neither of them really realised most of the time they were doing it because it was just so natural to touch.

The brunette smirked as she cleared her throat and shuffled on her but slightly to sit up a little straighter.

''We do have something else to share with you, and we haven't told anybody yet. Quinn and I are moving in together. Obviously we have lived together before but this time…''

Rachel lost her words a little bit because she had turned to look at her girlfriend and got caught up in how green her eyes were right now.

''It'll be how it should be! That's wonderful, we're very happy for you.''

''Yes we are. We finally have someone we whole-heartedly approve of for our little star. And Quinn, though you've always been family to us let us welcome you into it again – we're glad that Rachel finally chose the right one.''

Rachel was about to defend her own honour right then but Quinn just squeezed her thigh gently to stop her from ranting about her previous choice in lovers.

''Thank you, that means a lot.''

''So, tell us everything – are you keeping one apartment or finding somewhere new?''

Rachel squeaked happily.

''We decided to find somewhere new, so it can be just ours and a blank canvas for memories.''

The conversation flowed easily for the rest of the night and they talked about everything and anything – from work to Lima to a cruise the Berry's were planning on taking and lots, lots more. They were excited about seeing Rachel perform at the end of the week and planned to come back to see her in Phantom Of The Opera too. And they were also excited because they would be going to the set when Quinn and Rachel had a scene together that apparently was a major twist – one in a thrilling series that lead to the finale they were filming very shortly.

It was going to be a fun packed week for the Berry men and they were just actually happy to be around Rachel and seeing her this happy – because Quinn wasn't the only one that was the happiest she had ever been. Rachel was too.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N – Hi guys, sorry for the big gap in updating. I've put the chapter's on Live Journal because of the whole ff net crap as a just in case thing. I haven't really found any community's yet or anything but I haven't had a good root around yet either. So they're just on the account I made. For anyone on LJ its http / **sineadorebel** dot **livejournal** dot **com**/ I still think ff net are total wankers but what can you do? So that's where things will be stored just in case I get all censored!

Also there's a warning for a flashback.

GGGG

''Sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry – I can't believe I'm so late, I'm so sorry!''

There were few things in life that Rachel detested – but one thing she certainly did detest was being late. She had always prided herself on being punctual and she had always set her timing accordingly so she could be just that. Actually, if she was on time then she considered herself late. It was just something that had been instilled in her from a young age as both of her Father's were extremely punctual too. Especially when another person or an appointment of some kind was made, she thought it was rude to schedule something with somebody and then turn up late. So Rachel had only ended up being late a handful of times in her whole life.

Apparently this was included. She had been shown up to the apartment that her girlfriend and their realtor were inspecting because she had been supposed to meet Quinn 15 minutes before hand – which she hadn't.

So now she was rushed and flustered and a little bit miserable when all she wanted was to be fresh and calm and happy because she was looking at freaking places to live _with_ Quinn. Quinn Fabray – the love of her life. Living together _as a couple_. And she was late? What the fuck was that?

''Rachel, c'mere…''

Quinn gave the classic 'one moment' look toward the woman that had been thrown to the 'fussy actresses' wolves as she took the brunette by the arm and pulled her aside. The short haired red head nodded with a smile and took some steps away from them to give them some privacy – she was still slightly nervous around them but getting used to them – or well, more to Rachel and her explosions of 'oh my god look at that' and 'oh my god that's awful'.

''Quinn I don't know what happened – I had my alarm set I swear to god but I must have slept through the fucking thing and…''

Rachel stopped her meltdown when Quinn put her hand over her mouth. Big sorrowful brown eyes looked up at her like a puppy would as she deflated and stopped talking.

''Rachel, it's fine. If you had looked at your phone at all you would have seen that I have my camera and I was going to take lots of pictures and show them to you later. You're exhausted, baby – you should've stayed in bed.''

Rachel really _was_ exhausted. In the midst of wrapping up on Quinn's show, she had also finished with the music video, done press time for the upcoming release of the now ready album, rehearsed and _begun_ her time back on Broadway for Phantom Of The Opera, appeared on practically every single talk show there was in New York and either interviewed/performed or interviewed _and_ performed and had done the same for radio outlets because her single had been released. And in between that she had been looking around properties for herself and Quinn to live in, done some charity events and all the while making sure she kept up with her Dad's, her friends, Quinn's family and Quinn herself. And the day after tomorrow she was flying _back_ to LA again to do some more single/album peddling for two days.

So to say she was exhausted was probably a mild statement. How she was standing right now she just didn't know – perhaps because Broadway had given her a ton of stamina to keep up with its schedule or something.

''But…this is our first place, we should be doing this together.''

The brunette pouted in a muffled response against Quinn's hand. Her own hand reached out to play with the strap of the camera that was looped around the blonde's neck. Quinn's mouth tugged into a small but loving smirk as her eyes sparkled softly at her.

''We are. You can look at photographs and if you like anything we can come together to look.''

''Really?''

''Yes.''

Rachel exhaled in relief as she swallowed at the same time – Quinn's hand had now been removed from her mouth.

''I just have _so_ much to do and I'm so tired. But all I actually wanna do is be here doing this with you. This will be our life together, I don't want to miss any of it – it's too important.''

Quinn smiled and nodded in understanding as she cupped Rachel's chin and leant in to kiss her gently. They had spent last night at their own apartments which was now extremely rare, mainly because Rachel had this workload and Quinn had had her own stuff going on too and she actually hoped that Rachel would just lapse into a coma to get some real rest.

''It is important, but so is you _not_ burning out. So, how about we finish looking around here – I take you for some breakfast and then we go home and you can have a much needed, _long_ nap before you're show tonight? I'll get you up with lots of time to get ready and maybe to for dinner. How does that sound?''

Rachel breathed a happy breath against her girlfriend and nodded.

''That sounds perfect.''

''Good! And for the next week or so, and when you're in LA over the weekend, I will do any viewing duties and take plenty of pictures. I know what you like, if I think you'd love somewhere I'll tell you. Okay?''

''Okay! You're such a charmer, Quinn Fabray.''

''I must have caught it off you! I think it's infectious like that.''

Rachel grunted in a playful pout as she nudged her and the blonde just laughed and looped her arm around the smaller woman, kissed her on the head and began to guide her back to the patient woman waiting them to quit their epic lesbian romance moment to actually look around.

GGGG

''Do you like the animals?''

Two days later Quinn found herself sat across a little table that was sat in the sunshine with a buzzing atmosphere. She had a two year old sat on her knee currently making a mess with his lunch and a four year old sat just by her that was also making a mess of his food as he tried to eat his hotdog whole.

The animal sanctuary was doing a fundraiser and it was like a kids fun day so there was a lot going on. Benson was working on something so she had brought Jonah and given that Kieran had been acting unusually she figured it would be good to take him and let him run around with other kids and have a good time and see some pretty cool animals and learn about them.

''Ya! Can we gets our face painted?''

''Sure, buddy – we'll do that after lunch okay?''

He nodded contentedly and crammed some more food into his mouth and smiled his chubby cheeky smile up at him. She hadn't come alone – Santana and Brittney were here too and Santana was currently trying to calm Brittney down enough to sit down and eat – she was probably more excited than half of the children! Right now though they had some time so Quinn cleared her throat as she looked across at her little brother.

''K, Mami and Papi said you haven't been very happy this week. Do you wanna talk about it?''

Kieran gazed over at her with a thoughtful frown and then shook his head stubbornly. Quinn sighed as she looked at Jonah who was chomping on his food contentedly and then back at Kieran.

''Is it about Lucy?''

He shrugged and looked around.

''C'mon Special K – you can't keep secrets from your big sister, it's against the law!''

He made a scoffing noise and beamed up at her with a face full of tomato sauce and whatever else smeared across him and shook his head.

''S'not!''

''It is! Seriously! You know you can tell me, I won't get mad. And you know, getting used to a baby being around is a big thing – they take up a lot of time. I'd understand if you were a little upset about it.''

Kieran sighed again and looked down for a moment as though he was trying to figure something out. Jonah wiggled on her knee and reached out for his juice cup so she picked it up and gave it to him, watching as the nozzle went straight into his mouth and he gulped at it furiously.

''S'not Lucy…''

The older boy admitted quietly.

''Then what is it bud?''

''A boy at school saids dat his Daddy saids you were bad 'cos you kiss Rachel, 'n girls are 'sposed to be wid boys. He saids peoples like you are bad.''

Okay…_not_ what she was expecting like at all. Not exceptionally unexpected either. It's not like every 'different' person out there didn't have to hear this crap all the time, it was so commonplace that it was scary. Sometimes it felt like the world wasn't changing whatsoever when adults were still preaching this kind of attitude to their little kids. But it was it was just a slow turn and it would probably always be a contentious issue – like many other issues. The world was sort of fucked up like that.

''What do you think, Kieran?''

He shrugged with that frown again as he looked up at her innocently. It must have been confusing for a 4 year old who had a sister that was with a woman, two 'Aunt's' that were together and a man-loving 'Uncle' too and was taught that love was love. He had never really had to think about any other way of seeing things.

''I dun thinks you is bad.''

''But it upset you? And you're worried about it?''

He nodded glumly and she reached out to stroked through his floppy hair.

''It's okay to ask any questions that confuse you Kieran, no one will get mad. Some people do think like that little boys Daddy, okay? They don't like to think of anyone being different, and they can be really mean about it and use some hurtful names and say hurtful things. It doesn't always mean that they're bad people, though. It's just that everyone thinks differently.

You know that I love Rachel very much, and she loves me. And the same goes for Auntie San and Britt, and Uncle Kurt. And there are a _lot_ of people that know that's okay. There are girls that like girls, and boys that like boys, and girls that like boys – and that's all okay. It's all a little bit complicated but you really can talk to any of us whenever you want so you can see how you feel and maybe understand it a little better.

There are just a lot of different people in the world that believe different things, Kieran. Some people really are bad, but not because they love somebody that is a girl or boy. Some people are bad because they like to be mean and hurt people. And I know you don't like doing that, and you know that I don't like doing that – so we're pretty good, right?''

Kieran nodded decisively.

''Right!''

She smirked and they high fived each other with a chuckle. Quinn spied Santana and Brittney walking over with their lunch, Santana carrying an extra plate for her too. Brittney was practically skipping beside her as she chattered about something; it was definitely cute how she managed to bring out Santana's softer side.

''You okay now buddy, or do you wanna talk about it some more?''

She looked at her brother again and saw him shovelling food into his mouth again.

''S'okay!''

He mumbled from around his mouthful and she laughed and rolled her eyes as her friends made it to the table and sat down. Santana pushed her plate over and pushed her sunglasses up to the top of her head as she studied Kieran's face.

''Did you actually _eat_ any of that or are you just trying to spread as much as you can across your little face?''

That was enough to get Kieran howling with cheeky laughter and animatedly talking about the animals and being captivated by Brittney's extensive knowledge on all things animal. Quinn and Santana listened to their conversation in amusement as the blonde wiped Jonah's face clean and reapplied some sun cream on all exposed skin while he was still and complacent – she didn't not need to hand a burnt toddler back to her friend at the end of the day.

Santana kept looking at her with a 'you were made for this' kind of stare but she kept ignoring it – rather pointedly actually. She enjoyed the activity around them and was very happy that the day was turning out to be such a success, there were a lot of people here with their families and it was a lot of fun. She had to say a few words later and by then she'd probably have her face painted like a lion or something because there was no freaking way she'd be able to not do it when Kieran and Jonah did it…and probably Brittney…so by default Santana.

And that's exactly what happened.

GGGG

''Oh I like that.''

''Yeah?''

''It's a great feature.''

Quinn smiled and nodded as she moved on to the next photo. Rachel had not long since woken up from a much needed nap during the afternoon after shooting her final scene at the set early this morning. Quinn had of course been there too and she only had tomorrow left with Benson and their entire crew before they wrapped for 4 months. It was always kind of emotional to finish up but also kind of exciting too. They always had lots of fun though and there would be a big dinner and party to be had in a few days.

Right now though Rachel's apartment was quiet and still, the fresh air wafted in from the windows and the background noise of the city was just lulling away going relatively unnoticed as the blonde sat up slightly on the bed but perched on an elbow closest to Rachel as her girlfriend nuzzled into her and watched the pictures float by on Quinn's laptop. Yet again she had missed another viewing but as promised the blonde had taken her camera.

Work had been busy for Quinn of course, this whole week she had pretty much lived in her trailer with a small gap for this particular viewing in her schedule. It had been a week of finely balancing out a schedule for Rachel with her obligations too. They hadn't spent much time together unless they were working this week. But Quinn was about to finish up tomorrow and she would have a breather before she starting on the film over her summer. Unlike Rachel, who would be continuing Phantom and doing work for her album.

''It's beautiful, what did you think of it?''

The sleepy brunette asked gently. Hazel green eyes turned down onto her sincerely.

''I _really_ like it, baby.''

''Let's go see it again, then. I already have a good feeling about it.''

Quinn smiled and gave a nod in agreement before she leant down and slowly and lightly coaxed Rachel into a simple sweet kiss just taking time to enjoy.

''I love you Rachel Barbara Berry.''

''Well I love you too Lucy Quinn Fabray.''

Rachel just watched as Quinn moved to set the laptop on the nightstand before turning around again and snuggling down a little further, leaning her head on her propped up arm as the other reached out to take the brunette's own hand.

''Really Rach, I can't wait to live with you. I feel like _finally_ things are…right. You know?''

Rachel smiled and lifted her hand up to stroke through Quinn's hair. She had definitely been sat outside because there were tufts of blonde silk still sticking out because Quinn no longer had any concept of adjusting her hair to keep it perfect. It was adorable and sexy at the same time the way it stuck up like a lion though. It showed Quinn's childish and whimsical side that all of their friends teased her about. Like when she went to see Mercedes in LA and they went to some super formal event and Mercedes had lost the blonde in the buzz – only to find her 15 minutes later in the kids area with a Light Sabre playing Star Wars with all the children that had been dumped in there.

''When are you doing it?''

The brunette asked softly, knowingly. Quinn didn't even seem confused about the question. She actually smirked a little bit as she looked down at her.

''I haven't decided.''

''Are you _sure_, Quinn? You've really thought about it? Talked to your therapist?''

Quinn chuckled and nodded once.

''I have. Lots of thinking and lots of talk. I don't…I don't want to hide anymore. I have ideas and I _hope_ that I can help somebody – anybody. I had people to help me. Let's face it; it's reasonable to say that the track that I put myself on after Beth was born would have killed me, if not for all of you. I know that Santana goes to great lengths to keep my secrets. I also know that she can't do it forever and I can't expect her to. It won't last forever and I should be the one that gets to control how it comes out. I want it to at least mean something, otherwise what's the point?''

Rachel blinked. She had a soft, understanding look in her eyes but also one of concern and apprehension. Her hand still played with the strands of blonde hair as she contemplated what Quinn was talking about. In many respects she knew that she was perfectly right – it wouldn't remain in the shadows forever and to be blindsided by something like that? She couldn't even imagine how that would feel for Quinn even if she had been there. She got the urge to control it but at the same time she had _been there_. She had seen first hand the self-destructive behaviours that Quinn had fallen into.

''_Quinn?''_

_Rachel checked the apartment – stuck her head in her friends' bedroom but it was empty. There weren't a whole lot of places she could hide around here so the fact that she couldn't spot her anywhere made Rachel's heart start to beat in a thick, heavy way. She walked back out into the living room where Sam was just shrugging on his jacket. _

''_She's not in her room.''_

''_What? But I've been in view of the door the whole time. She couldn't have left.''_

_They looked around for a moment until Rachel glanced at the hallway that lead back to a couple of rooms – including the bathroom. Now her heart was beating harder and she started to feel sick. _

''_She's in the bathroom.''_

_Rachel knew that Sam was following her. It was still early – just before 7pm. Mr Schuester was out of town overnight because he was dealing with all of this custody issue and Sam had been here with Quinn until Rachel could make it over. It was her cousin's birthday and there had been a meal. She had taken Finn and he had wanted to do something after but she had wanted to come here as soon as she could. She wanted to be with Quinn overnight – she had been reeling further and further out of control lately and she didn't want to take any chances. Sam had been prepared to stay over but she had ducked out of the evening after dinner with her Father's approval. Quinn was in the midst of some pretty vivid nightmares and flashbacks and it helped her to hear a female voice._

_The shower was on and the door was locked. She gave it a couple of good pushes but it was definitely staying in place._

''_Quinn? It's Rachel, I'm here for the night – Sam is going home.''_

_There was nothing but the shower spray and something just beneath it that she couldn't make out. She leant the side of her head against the door to press her ear against the wood._

''_Sweetie, are you okay?''_

''_Maybe she can't hear you.''_

_Sam suggested the obvious. Rachel frowned though and the whirring in her stomach didn't do anything other than twist and knot painfully, and once she _really_ focused on the sounds emanating from the bathroom she realised that it was a soft, delicate murmuring and some sniffles coming from beneath the spray. She shook her head once, stepping back decisively as she bit her bottom lip and gestured to the wood._

''_No. No, she's in trouble. Kick it in.''_

_The blond haired boy behind her raised his eyebrows in surprise. _

''_What? I can't break Mr Schue's door. How do you know? If she's just in the shower we'll be like…making things _so_ much worse.''_

_Rachel turned on him and looked up at him with an imploring desperation, gesturing her hands, which he noticed, had begun to shake._

''_Because I know, Sam – I know _her._ Please? I have spent every day since the day she came to my house learning _everything_ I wish I'd seen before – she _needs our help_. Please? Please Sam, this is _Quinn_ – we can't let her down. Not again.''_

_Sam looked at her and saw the truth in her eyes – the pain that she felt for missing things, even though it wasn't her fault. He knew how much time she spent here and how much devotion she gave to the blonde behind that door. If anyone stood a chance of knowing if something was wrong it would be her. They all wanted to keep her safe and they all spent time here or at school trying to do that, trying to figure out the best ways to help her. Quinn's head was…not anywhere close to thinking properly and she had seen the hopelessness in them. That was a bad sign. _

''_Okay…okay, just – stand there.''_

_He moved Rachel gently to the side and gazed the door and took a deep breath before pulling his strength together and booting the door at the place he thought the lock was on the other side. With a groan, a crack and some splinters flying, a few cracks in the jamb it swung open and Rachel was in like a bolt of lightening. _

''_Oh god…Quinn, sweetheart? Give me the knife, okay?''_

_Apparently the sound of the door being burst open hadn't distracted Quinn all that much. She just sat in the bathtub with her knees to her chest, rocking and murmuring and sniffling – completely soaked through and holding a knife that didn't even seem to be from the kitchen. It was smaller and sharp, like a hunter's knife or something. Neither Rachel nor Sam had any idea where she could have gotten it. The brunette eased toward the tub slowly, holding out her hand and trying to reign in her sheer terror that Quinn would actually do something with it. She held it poised in a hand, firm grasp but there didn't seem to be any injury that Rachel could see and no blood flowing toward the drain. _

''_Quinn please, let me have the knife.''_

''_No.''_

_Rachel wiped some tears away as she got next to the side and crouched down. She didn't try to force it away she wanted things to be calm and everything to be safe._

''_Why not?''_

''_I need it.''_

_Rachel shook her head._

''_No, you don't. We're right here, okay? You don't have to use that for anything.''_

_Quinn didn't look up but her eyes moved and she tightened her grip along the handle. From her hiding place by her knees she peered out at Rachel – lost, afraid and hurting so much that the brunette didn't really have a name to call it. _

''_I can't do this, Rachel. I can't.''_

_She whispered in a cracked tone, like a little girl. Rachel moved slowly and got herself into the bath right in front of Quinn who watched her every move like a hawk – slightly suspicious she was going to coax her into a false sense of security and then snatch the knife away. _

''_I don't know how this feels for you – I wish I could take it away. I wish I could do something more than sit here and tell you that you have all of us to lean on, I can't but you _do_ have us. You have me. Let me help you, honey. No one is giving up on you; you're worth something to us. You're worth something to the world. Please…please let go of the knife. We love you so much. _I_ love you so much.''_

''_Am I ever going to be clean again?''_

''_You already are. You always have been.''_

_Rachel nodded and wiped her face again but still held her other hand out, open and hopefully ready to take the knife away from Quinn when she gave it up. She had noticed Sam move out of the bathroom and come back with a soft blanket that belonged on Quinn's bed, obviously ready to wrap her up so she wouldn't be exposed any more. Finally, after what seemed like sprawling minutes – the blonde faltered and pressed the handle into Rachel's hand. Relieved the smaller girl shoved it behind her and it clattered on the porcelain and she nodded at Sam who reached over to turn the shower off. _

''_Sam's going to put your blanket over you, okay?''_

_Quinn nodded and Sam gently wrapped it over her shoulders. She stood up and he adjusted it carefully so there was nothing on show anymore. _

''_I'm going to lift you out of there, I have you.''_

_He offered softly, letting her know what to expect. She didn't move or object and he reached forward and deftly lifted her into his arms and he was actually relieved that she let her head sink into his shoulder; one of her hands clutched his jacket. Rachel got out of the bath and she followed them into her room and Sam had barely put her on the bed before she grabbed at him and Rachel to pull them so close that there was barely enough room to move. _

''You're worried about me.''

Quinn husked out the obvious, voice knowing and gentle. Rachel let out a tiny breath.

''Of course I am. I want this to be your decision and you know I'll always be here for you. I just…I don't want this to be a tool you use because you feel like things are going too well. I just want to make sure of that.''

Quinn smiled and leant down and pressed a long, tender kiss on Rachel's forehead. She kissed her again there and then her nose and then nudged her with her face before placing delicate kisses on her mouth.

''I'm not that girl in the bathtub anymore. I'm not the girl that sleeps around in dangerous motels. I'm not the girl that takes an overdose or attempts to drink her weight in vodka. She was rescued – she was given a lifeline. I will never be able to let go of what happened to me, or of the things I did to myself. I will always struggle and hurt and I'll always stumble over my footing. But not like that – never like that, ever again. What I can do is show the people out there that you _can_ survive it, that there is reason to hold on. What I can do is show people that it can happen to anyone, maybe change some opinions and break silences. Maybe show some terrified little girl out in the world that it's not her fault. Part of me does want to hide it forever but I just can't, I need this for myself too. You taught me how to live again, and how to breathe again and how to love myself. Let me do that for somebody.''

God, when she said it like that there really was no room for argument. It sort of filled Rachel with an intense hurt yet an intense pride and love that she was hearing these words come out of Quinn's mouth, heartfelt and true. Like she was saying that she had been humpty dumpty and they had all put her back together – maybe not seamlessly but enough so that she could live again. It had taken so long for her to get here, so much work on her part. Rachel couldn't be prouder of her and just the thought of her stepping up to do this because she knew that somewhere – probably not all that far away from them right now – someone was going through their own version.

Its what she worked for at the organisations – for better understanding, for recognition of what could be going on in front of people. Willing an open dialogue about it so that it wasn't this taboo, secret bullshit because that didn't help. Talk helped – awareness and understanding helped. And now she was in a place where she felt ready to put her money where her mouth was.

''You're the bravest person I know.''

Quinn scoffed lightly in deflection.

''I'm a girl just trying to get through the day. But I know some pretty wonderful, particularly brave people that dared to confront a terrified little kid in some pretty dire situations. That hasn't really changed – I'm still terrified, but this is just…something I need to do. Will you help me?''

Rachel smiled gently as she nodded.

''I'll help you.''

GGGG

The last day on set was emotional. Not that anyone ever really knew why because they would be coming back together again for the next season but still – they were always just a little bit emotional, a little bit excited and quite a lot proud too. Especially this year with so many accomplishments. Everyone was happy to be getting some time off and have a well-earned rest or go and do summer projects to keep them busy and there were the usual cheers and applause at the final wrap.

''_Benson_! For the love of god but me down before I barf all over you!''

Quinn squealed in demand because yet again she had found herself swung casually over the human bears shoulder – only this time he was swirling around in circles and she really _was_ starting to get dizzy. It would be his own fault if she threw up all over him – actually she would consider it a job well done if she actually did and she'd laugh her ass off and take a picture. Then she grimaced because that was _such_ a disgusting thought.

''This is what you get for not dancing with me, Q.''

He advised as he set her on her feet, chuckling with a cheeky boy grin as he held her because she staggered a bit as she tried to let her centre of gravity come back to her.

''I'm not acting out Rachel's video for you _just_ because you can't the song out of your head. You're not good enough!''

He gasped and slapped a hand over his heart at her jibe at not being good enough to dance like the video. He could actually hold his own but she was right – they did all that real dancing crap in it and had all these super fine moves and waltz-y tango-ish type things in it. Brittney was a genius it was a pretty awesome video that was getting slammed _all_ over the TV and music channels.

''Dance snob!''

''Man-bear!''

''Nerd.''

''Mama's boy!''

''Lesbian!''

''_Man_!''

Benson laughed and flailed.

''C'mon woman just teach me some of those fancy moves!''

Quinn knew Benson extremely well so she knew that he wouldn't give in until she taught him what he wanted to learn. She huffed and rolled her eyes. They were still in the outfits that they had warn for the shoot – Benson still in his snappy suit and Quinn was actually in a little red sexy number. It might have been the season finale and there may have been the grand total of 5 shocking cliff hangers – including Phoebe's life being hung in the balance, but damn if they didn't look amazing.

She groaned and yanked him by the shirt over to the middle of the set and gestured him into position. For a good 10 minutes she took him slowly through a sequence of manoeuvres – poking him sometimes to get him to pay attention or when he said something dirty. Bit by bit some of the other cast members and crew started to follow the routine and someone announced they had the song ready.

Before she knew what was freaking happening she was coaxed into going over the whole goddamn song and half the staff were involved. It didn't actually take as long as she thought to teach them, some were excellent and some were only mildly mimicking the moves but after an hour her colleagues took up the whole lot and when someone started to blast out Rachel's song they were pretty much just a flash mob.

A flash mob – at work – dancing to her girlfriend's song – that she had written _with_ her and most of the world presumed was _about_ her. Now this was definitely an interesting way to wrap up the season!

It figured that it would go freaking viral because somebody filmed the whole spectacle. Still, it was a _lot_ of fun. The festivities didn't end there because there was a wrap party to go to. Rachel couldn't make it because of Phantom so Quinn had invited Santana instead. Brittney was making a quick trip to Chicago to choreograph so both of them were dateless and decided that 'getting their dance on' with each other would be fun instead, it's what best friends were made for.

Quinn held Santana hand as they slowly worked their way toward the entrance. She had gone directly to the Latina's to get ready before they turned up at the party event and there were quite a few fans and press hovering around outside along the walkway. After getting inside the music was loud and the whole place looked amazing and there were a ton of people there that had been invited too. There were a couple of short speeches from Arthur and Benson and herself, and a couple of others and everyone was having a great time. She and Santana must have been dancing either together or around with others but still within vicinity of one another before they worked their way out onto a terrace to get some air and they found a quiet corner.

Santana pulled in a long, slow breath as she looked over the view before letting it out again.

''I'm giving up the business.''

She stated quietly but with confidence and just a way that said that her mind was made up and she was comfortable with the decision.

''You are?''

Quinn squeaked in light surprise, making Santana look up at her from where she was leaning and smirk a little bit. She shrugged faintly and nodded.

''Yeah. I…I wanna sing.''

The words were soft and for good reason – she hadn't said that in a very long time, and Quinn was only the second person she had said them to now, her wife obviously being the first. Quinn was always the next person to talk to after Brittney, unless she needed someone to talk to _about_ Brittney or now and again before Brittney so she could get things straight in her head – she'd always turn to Quinn.

The blonde smiled broadly, proudly – giving a nod and had a favourable sparkle in her eyes.

''Good, it's about time you decided that you're good enough.''

''You think I am?''

''No I _know_ you are. Santana you're amazing, the only one that's been waiting to believe that is you. Despite all your bluster and bravado.''

The actress pointed out as she leant her back against the railing, holding it with her hands and looking upon her best friend softly. The Latina nodded and looked down toward the street briefly.

''I used to think I was good enough but…I don't know when I started doubting that.''

''Well, I guess what matters now is that you believe now. And anyways, you're kind of in a perfect position. You have tons of contacts, knowledge of how the business works and money to support you while you do the work. And a hot dancer wife.''

They snickered and Santana made a murmur as she stood up but still faced the other direction to Quinn – though at this close proximity it was just beneficial to see one another.

''Can never forget the hot dancer wife!''

She jested, wondering what her baby was up to right now.

''No no! You'll do great Santana, and you know I'll help in any way I can.''

The Latina looked at Quinn pointedly and nodded because she didn't need to hear those words to know they were true. She reached her arm sideways to cup Quinn's face gently for a moment before letting it slip to her side. They were long since used to the intimate yet innocent gestures between them. You didn't get to be a Cheerio without basically feeling everyone else up, and they _had_ been close before but particularly after that night in the parking lot it was like they just needed the contact almost like they both needed it from Rachel and Brittney – just in an entirely different context.

''I know, you have my back like always.''

''Hell yeah.''

''I'm passing off my clients to Sugar, she'll take over the office and I'll just be a silent partner except for certain things.''

''She'll be great, you trained her well.''

Quinn agreed with Santana's choice. Even though Sugar had her weird and wonderful way about her and tended to be completely random and seemingly disorganised, she was damn good at what she did and well suited to it. She took people by surprise – disarmed them and either charmed them or like Santana came out with the blunt take it or leave it truth that stopped a lot of the bullshit from even getting started. She ran the other half of the business from LA but this would be a considerable bump for her. Santana had been very specific in her training – she was very specific in _all_ her employees training.

She loved to come off as the evil hard ass boss but really, Quinn couldn't remember the last time somebody had quit or that had been fired – they _liked_ working for her she was as loyal to them as they were to her and treated them accordingly. Nothing went unnoticed by Santana and she was quick to back them up and give them what they needed to flourish. The only real time that people left was when she tipped them off for other jobs because she thoroughly believed that they would be awesome and be successful. Sugar was devout to Santana so she'd be able to cope without a problem.

''She's not getting you. Or your hobbit.''

The Latina added seriously. Quinn sighed and shook her head.

''Santana you don't have to…''

''Quinn this isn't a discussion. No one touches you but me. It's my job to protect you; I know how to do that. I know you. So no one touches you but me.''

They stared at one another for a moment, the vehemence in Santana's voice a sudden change. She was absolutely staunch about her work ethic with Quinn. She always had been. She took care of everything – from the simplest thing to the most serious things like plugging any emerging leaks and watching anything that could worm its way out of the history books. She told people where to go on her behalf and accepted things on her behalf. She refused to let go of that.

''You didn't fail me, you know.''

Quinn stated gently. Santana's jaw tensed as she took a quiet breath in, eyes dark but shining full of swirling emotion.

''Yes I did. I was your _best friend_. I take one look at you now and I can tell what you had for dinner. I should've seen it. And this is a brutal business; you need to do what you do so I take the hits now, okay? I will never, _ever_ not have your back again. Never.''

''I wish you'd see it my way. I wish you knew just how many times and how many ways you – you personally Santana – saved me. I didn't go to Rachel first because I didn't trust you; I can't explain why I did what I did then. You didn't see it because I didn't let anyone see it. My life up until that day depended on me making sure you didn't see it, okay?

Let yourself off the damn hook. You kept drilling it into me that I wasn't to blame, that he was. It's about time you told yourself that. You were the one that pulled me out of risky and dangerous situations – out of crappy motels with strange guys, _naked_. You were the one that actually offered yourself to me just so I wouldn't do that.

You were the one that stayed up all night with me because I'd drank half a bottle of vodka and you were the one that pried the bottle of drugs out of my hand. Each and every time I fell down you picked me back up Santana. You're the one that's made sure my demons stay in the shadows because you knew I needed them there until I was ready.

You are absolutely my best friend, and I love you _so_ much. And I know that part of the reason you chose this career was so you could be my bodyguard. And that's just...beyond words, Santana.

I owe you my life.''

It was true – Santana was like her personal solider, scouting ahead and taking any and all damage so it didn't even appear as a blip on her radar. Quinn knew about many things but she knew also that there was probably a lot of shit that Santana had taken that she hadn't told her about. Having a friend step up and do that for you was one of the best feelings she could think of. Knowing that you were protected and loved so much that it inspired someone to do that. Santana did enjoy the business and somewhere along the lines she had doubted herself as a performer despite Quinn's very ardent protests – but she understood that sometimes you just had to be ready. Apparently now was the time that they were _both_ ready.

''I was part of an ensemble, Q.''

The darker girl croaked emotionally, eyes glistening a little bit. Quinn nodded once.

''Yes you were, but you all had your individual affects too. But not one else made an offer like you did, and don't kid yourself I almost took it – but it made me realise how stupid I was being. That was a big turning point for me. A slow turning point but it was one all the same. I have a lot to thank you for.''

The blonde put her hand over Santana's that still rested by her hip and squeezed, genuine and thankful and just – so many things that she couldn't put into words. She could stand up and honestly declare that her best friend had _literally_ offered herself to her because she loved her so much and would rather have let her use her than let her destroy herself with random people. That was no small feat.

''You went to Rachel because you were in love with her. You just didn't know what it was.''

''You think so?''

''Ya, you came down so hard on her because you loved her and it scared you.''

There was a light 'and you haven't realised that how?' tone in the brunette's tone but it was mostly just full of insight and understanding. It had never been with jealousy that she reflected on the whole 'why Rachel' question, actually she think she had known even when it had happened it just took until after things settled down that she really realised it.

Quinn didn't say anything for a couple of long moments and they just stood there – pretty much shoulder to shoulder in their half embrace taking in the air with the music thundering dimly nearby. Thankfully people seemed to be leaving them alone – they probably looked as though they needed the privacy to be honest.

''If that's true then I let him waste 8 years with her.''

''It wasn't him…not all him anyways. I think it scared you despite what was going on with him. You're kinda retarded!''

The slightly shorter girl nodded decidedly with a smirk – Quinn snickered and rolled her eyes, way to break the sweetness bubble.

''Oh thanks a lot! Pot calling the kettle black much?''

''Yeah I know, I was kinda dense with Brittney for a while wasn't I?''

Santana cringed and Quinn gave her the classic 'duh' expression.

''Uh – yeah!''

''She scared me too.''

''Well you got there. Obviously apart from that break up you had for a few months senior year. But considering the length of time you've been happy together I would ignore that.''

Santana snorted dryly and nodded vigorously.

''Oh I try to, believe me – if I think too hard about that 'break' I remember she was Berry's initiation to the ways of lesbianism.''

''Bisexualism.''

''Whatever.''

Quinn chuckled softly and moved her hand to sort out some unruly strands of Santana's hair from the assault of the slight breeze.

''She wants to adopt a baby.''

The Latina stated eventually. Quinn immediately dropped her jaw in shock but her features moved into that of hope and excitement – even a little wonder. Because let's face it, Santana coping with a tiny human being would rock her world!

''_Are you serious_?''

''As a heart attack.''

''Are you gunna do it?''

''I think we are, yeah.''

''Oh my god! Santana! You'll be a Mami!''

The blonde practically screeched as she bounced on the spot and pulled her into a hug, swaying her from side to side happily. Santana laughed and rolled her eyes.

''Poor kid.''

''Nu uh, _lucky_ kid. You'll make a _great_ Mom, San. You'll both make great Mom's.''

She stated earnestly as she pulled back just enough to face her friend.

''You're obviously required to be the godparent or whatever. As well as the Tía.''

''I would be honoured. When is this happening?''

''I don't know, I wasn't sure if it was the right time with a career change but Brittney is pretty adamant so we're doing all this bullshit paperwork and making sure we can jump through hoops. Six months or so maybe? We already have a social worker. So I mean, I guess we'll be _ready_ in six months – I don't know how long it'll take to actually get a kid.''

Quinn's eye were practically as wide as saucers – Santana thought it was probably because she was really happy, but also because she was thinking about the fact she would have another kid to play with and fool around with and use them as an excuse to act like one.

''Wow. So when are you gunna tell everybody?''

''We're flying back to Lima in a couple of weeks to have a joint Lopez/Peirce dinner and we'll tell them then. After that we'll get the group together and tell them then. So don't tell anyone! And if you _must_ tell Tiny Tim, tell her to keep her mouth shut – she's like a freaking foghorn sometimes, I swear to god.''

She said with mock exasperation and a roll of her eyes, not hiding the crook of her smirk.

''I'll make sure it doesn't get out! I'm so, _so_ happy for you Santana.''

The Latina's smirk widened into a full, broad smile – grin even. Her face was lit up like the freaking sun.

''Yeah…I'm kinda stoked. Don't tell anybody that either.''

''Got that rep to protect, obviously.''

''Obviously!''

''Except we all know you and there will be no illusions to just how much you'll love being a Mami.''

Santana gazed whimsically into nowhere for a moment as she envisioned a baby in the house – more so with Brittney and like all those milestones and her wife teaching it how to dance and being totally perfect like she always was. Sometimes it felt like a lifetime would never be enough with that kooky girl.

''B'll make a great Mom. If I could actually _give_ her a baby I would.''

''Well, family comes in all shapes and sizes. This will be your baby. Yours and Brittney's and you'll both be wonderful.''

''Thanks Q.''

''Love you S.''

''Love you too.''

Quinn grabbed the Latina's face and kissed her before laughing and hugging her again. They just stayed like that and rocked side to side for a moment before they finally went back inside to get some more drinks and make an impression on the dance floor. Quinn decided not to mention any of her plans right now – not at a party and especially not when the mood was so high with what they had just talked about.

She just basked in how life was turning out not just for her but for her friends too – her best friend who had fallen so hopelessly and relentlessly in love in high school that it deserved to be up there with those famous epic romances. She was bursting with happiness for her because she deserved these things and it was so good to see her so joyful and content.

XxX

''Don't stop. Oh god never stop.''

Rachel moaned obnoxiously loud as she felt her whole body buzz and pulse in sheer bliss and euphoria. Every muscle was rippling and quivering with the pleasure she was being inundated with right now.

The pleasure that fuelled another state of mind and caused it to float as your body was released from the confines of everyday trappings. The state where you felt like the deft of your bones felt like air, where you became disentangled from the world or maybe sometimes the complete opposite, completely jacked in.

Your heartbeat thumped in your ears and you felt your blood flush through your veins and felt the movement of the air and the aging of the day and the turn of the earth. You felt alive and raw and hot, every single fibre and fine hair reacting and charged with a perfect, consuming electricity. You felt the heartbeat of your companion and the silk of their skin and their breath across yours. You felt their dreams and hopes and wants and secrets, because you become unlocked just like they did. Completely open and see through.

It was magnificent and when it was right it swept through you and opened you up to everything that even the best drugs couldn't. By right she didn't mean the love of your life she simply meant when it was mutual and free and fun and shared. But it being the love of your life worked too – a _lot_.

Quinn had been drawing this out, working her up and hitting every one of her sweet spots across her body before eventually sliding into her. By then Rachel had been ready to beg but thankfully Quinn had taken pity on her. They had been slow at first, then fast. Slow, fast, slow, fast, slow. Building and building and building until they finally just moved faster and faster until Quinn was slamming into her for all she was worth. The very essence of pure fucking is what they were doing.

They were a tangled heap of sweaty bodies sliding against each other hotly, Rachel's legs wrapped around the taller woman, hands constantly seeking purchase on anything she could reach.

''So close…cum with me Rachel.''

Rachel could only murmur to Quinn's breathy request and clung onto her tighter as she felt that all consuming wave take over and slam right through her and into her. The air was filled with cries and moans as Quinn's thrusts became haphazard as they both reached their pique and climaxed together.

The realms beyond the everyday senses sinking almost violently into her, into Quinn, experiencing an individual and combined existential high.

The pair spent long, long minutes in a breathless, tangled heap of sated glory. Chests heaved as they soared, minds and bodies alike in a state of paroxysm and bliss and light. They remained there comfortable in their intense, private and intimate bubble, enjoying fully the sex-induced haze.

After what seemed like forever Quinn managed to lift her head out the crook of Rachel's neck to place a sultry, wet kiss on the brunette's mouth. Tongues glided against one another until the kiss came to a natural end. They were still breathless.

''My god Quinn, that was…_bracing_.''

Quinn chuckled lowly as she pressed soft kisses along Rachel's face. It was an unusual compliment that was for sure but she would take it anyway, you couldn't go wrong with basically been called invigorating and stimulating.

''Bracing huh? Thank you!''

Rachel laughed and barely managed to shake her head.

''Oh no, thank _you_! And thank you for indulging the fantasy of being taken on the piano!''

Quinn murmured against Rachel's mouth.

''Who gives a fuck about noise complaints when we'll be moving soon?''

She joked both seriously and dryly. With no small amount of coffee poured down her Rachel had managed to drag herself to look at one of the property's and instantly fell in love with it. It was just _the one_ and they both agreed it was the place for them and made a definitive decision on it. They had studied over the details, made sure they had all the information they needed and went in for the kill.

And now they were buying their very own two-story loft and it would be _theirs_ and they would be together in their home.

''That and you're on a mission to have as much sex as humanly possible in both apartments until we move, aren't you?''

Yeah – Rachel wasn't unwise to her girlfriend's intention. Quinn grinned at her with that cheeky, impish grin that told her _exactly_ what the answer to that was and she just laughed lowly and shook her head with roll of her eyes as she let Quinn coax her into another sloppy kiss.

They would be making the move right before, maybe slightly over the time that Quinn started working on the film project but she'd still be here a lot of the time, before they shifted the work over to Los Angeles and then to France. Santana had already rented out a little beach house that was out of the way and secure for Quinn to live in and obviously when Rachel and anyone would visit. The producer had hired out a villa in France for them so that was all taken care of.

Quinn had been pouring herself over her script – obviously it was heavy for her given her role, but she just became absorbed in it and already her lines were setting in. that always seemed so easy for the blonde, and Rachel enjoyed watching her practice it out and running lines with her. The blonde had decided to wait until after the brunt of filming to make any kidn of move on her plans but Rachel now knew a little more about what she was thinking, they just needed some polishing.

Before that though, the only plan either of them were thinking of was Quinn's little sex marathon mission. And that's how they ended up on the couch next.


End file.
